One Big Fucked Up Family (or the one where Kyuhyun goes all psycho)

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Title: One big fucked up family (or the one where Kyuhyun goes all psycho)
Pairing: Main: KyuMin, ShiChulMi, YeHan, also many, many other pairings.
Genre: thriller, smut, au
Rating: R (for smut and serious shit)
Summary: Kyuhyun did this because he wanted to. He did it because he had to do. He needed it like everyone else needed to breathe.
Warning: I usually don't bitch about this, but this requires it. Blood, mentions of character death, mentions of pleasure associated with killing, non descriptive character death, drug use, serious shit stuff.
Note: DO NOT READ WITHOUT READING THE WARNINGS. I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR CRAP ABOUT THIS AT THE END. THE WARNINGS ARE THERE FOR A REASON


A/N: READ THE WARNINGS. Also I hate this au. I don't want to ever see it again. But, I suppose I should thank the people who helped me properly. This is for Andi because she said I should make the pairing kyumin when I first thought of this plot. I want to thank the_night_thief because she said something about Kyu in one of her comments for The Killing Games and she inspired this au.

Ash always gets thanks because she is the one who had to listen to me complain and was all excited when I wanted to throw this crap away. Also, she owns Siwon and she said sichulmi so I had to do it. She might have also said Yehan and because I already had sichulmi i thought why not. She gave me pictures and it's really all her fault that the pairings are so weird in this au. I love her though so this is me complaining in a good way.

My Kyu baby junjou_robotica should always be here because she read this through for me and was supportive. She was the first one to read this and even helped me write the beginning of the yehan. I love her to pieces because she didn't let me hate this au as much as I did in the beginning. I love her and she just made writing this so much better. I am also not allowed to call this garbage because she said I can't.

I hate this au. Just wanted to clear that up. So, don't bitch at me about how bad it was because I will just delete your comment. And I don't want to hear that you read something you didn't want to read because THE WARNINGS ARE THERE FOR A REASON. If you didn't like it just leave me alone. If you did like it then thank you.

I am clearly in a bad mood. OTL Just go off and enjoy this.

They came in one by one, none of them together because that wasn’t how things worked. They all had to come separate, never looking at each other, never showing any sign of recognition. They were all there locked in the basement of the club-the loud music still seeping through the closed door, like the smoke from the cigarettes-because they all wanted the same thing. They wanted the smoke that was making everything fuzzy. They wanted the rush, the absolute liberation, the freedom. They wanted that release, the kind that made your heart rate increase, made your hands sweaty, the kind that made your body shake, claw at anything as you reached that ultimate high, that place where it was like nothing else. It was like sex but so much fucking better because you got to have sex after and that…good fuck, that and the sex together was like nothing else.

Kyuhyun knew very well what it was like, what it was like to be so high you couldn’t tell what was up and what was down and to fuck. He knew what it was like to imprint your fingers into soft flesh, to hear a cry and have that turn you on. He knew what it was like to hold soft flesh in your hands, to squeeze until the pants became barely audible, to squeeze until fingers dug into your skin and to keep squeezing until all the fight went out of the body beneath you. He knew what it was like to come just as the last breath left that body, to come just as you killed.

Kyuhyun got off on that. Blood soaked hands, provided the best lubrication after all.

He wasn’t the only one either. All of them here had problems, were a bit fucked up in the head. They had to be, to be here together, to come so often, to not give a fuck that everyone who walked by the stairs could smell what it was that they were doing. Again, it wasn’t like any of them cared. Some of them were too rich and powerful to give a fuck about getting caught, some of them had nothing to lose, and some of them were too fucked up to care.

Siwon was one of the ones with money. He was the son of some important President of some company or other. He was the rich kid, the one who had enough money all his early life to do what he wanted with whoever he wanted. Kyuhyun knew about Siwon because it was his job to know about those who came into this place. He was the one in charge of watching them, of making sure that Yesung got paid. He was the one set there to watch them. To Siwon, to everyone, he was just another junkie with a need. But, Yesung had placed him there to watch them.

And he did.

He knew that Siwon was a perfect prince in public. He had a boyfriend, a pretty young thing, tall, long legged and named Minho. Siwon had gone public with that relationship after some pictures of him at the club had been released. The young man had come out of nowhere, but then it might have not been sudden. It might have been all planned out, thought out to the last detail so that Siwon could keep coming for his fix and still appear flawless.

It could have been, but Kyuhyun knew better. That picture in the newspapers had been real. Siwon was engaged, publicly to the other man. They’d come out as Korea’s most perfect couple, both so tall, seemingly endless legs, perfectly straight noses. It didn’t help that they just complemented each other in every public appearance. Even their first picture was with Siwon wearing a black shirt, white tie and suit, eyes lined with kohl; his arm around the laughing young man with the long hair who was wearing black, one hand on Siwon’s stomach, clearly showing off the bracelet on his right wrist. The pictures after were the same. Minho in a black leather jacket and Siwon wearing sunglasses, both laughing and always so damn perfect.

That was the Siwon that everyone knew: the one who would marry and adopt children. The Siwon here was someone else. The Siwon here was wearing ripped pants, a sleeveless shirt with a suit over it. The Siwon here was sitting down on the only couch they had with his legs crossed. This Siwon had his pockets full of money to pay Yesung and fucked as many men as he could as often as he could. Siwon liked the pretty ones, the ones with pretty lips and long white necks. Siwon liked it when they were on their knees, wrapping swollen lips around him. He liked that he could pull their hair, fuck them into a wall, mark their necks and that they would take it. They would take it and moan extra long for him, beg for him. Siwon got off on knowing that he could do whatever he wanted to them and that they would just walk away and take whatever money he gave them.

Siwon paid well, was very popular for the money he had flowing down to him from his father. Popular enough that he could pick from all the men in any of the houses he ever went to. Popular enough that he had two of the best with him; Zhou Mi and Heechul who weren’t from any house. Zhou Mi and Heechul were just there for Siwon. Zhou Mi came from a wealthy family associated with Heechul’s through the oil industry. It was rumored that it was Heechul who had taken the tall, Chinese man and made him what he was now.

Kyuhyun didn’t doubt it. Heechul was crazy in the head, fucked up more than any of them were, and infinitely more dangerous because everyone took his craziness as normal. Heechul could kiss boys in public, could come out of a different man’s house every morning and no one would even blink. Heechul could smoke in corners, dye his hair ridiculous shades and no one would say a word. Fuck, Heechul could probably take a knife to someone’s throat and everyone would just go with it because he was Heechul.

Zhou Mi was a little different. Public Zhou Mi and private Zhou Mi were almost the same. In public Zhou Mi wore only the best, dressed as if he had just walked out of a fashion magazine. Public Zhou Mi was always smiling for the cameras as yet another magazine caught him dining with some son of this or that actor/actress. Public Zhou Mi sang for important people, was paid for that voice. Private Zhou Mi and public Zhou Mi were prim and proper in everything, except for when it came to sex. Then, Zhou Mi was anything but proper. When Zhou Mi gave sex it was delicious.

Zhou Mi had those long legs that felt wonderful wrapped around your waist. He had those long fingers on those perfect hands. When it was in private Zhou Mi was wild and crazy and so fucking beautiful because there was nothing like Zhou Mi on his knees sucking you off. There was nothing like that voice put to good use as he screamed. And Zhou Mi knew how to play. He knew just the right way to look at you. He knew how to make a public smile drip with promise.

Zhou Mi’s problem was that he smoked, too much. Zhou Mi would do anything, for anyone to get just one more smoke. Zhou slept with men because it gave him something to do, not because he needed the money. He did it because he and Heechul were attached at the hip. Zhou Mi did it because sex was always so much better if Heechul was there too. Heechul and Siwon it seemed, with the way the three were spread out on the couch.

Heechul and Zhou Mi had gotten there together, but that was only expected because Zhou Mi and Heechul came in pairs. Zhou Mi was sitting on Siwon’s left, legs crossed and leaning forward as Siwon pressed as close as he could. They were talking, Siwon’s mouth by Zhou Mi’s ear, one hand on Zhou Mi’s neck like it belonged there, the other resting on top of Heechul’s hand on Siwon’s lap. Heechul was leaning into Siwon looking bored as always, his eyes trailing up Han Geng’s long legs.

Han Geng was Yesung’s. That was all there was to it. Yesung had found Han Geng in a club, dancing to pay for the tiny apartment across the street from the club. Yesung had pulled Han Geng away from that, had taken him as his own, had given Han Geng the life that he’d never dreamt of having. It didn’t matter if Yesung sold what he sold, hired who he hired to kill. It didn’t matter that Yesung was one of South Korea’s biggest dealer. Han Geng had a home and all he had to do was sleep with one man, one good looking man who took care of him and who loved to compliment him.

Yesung loved to carry Han Geng around wherever he went, loved to show him off, to dress him up. Han Geng had a good home. He would have been stupid to do anything to lose it. That’s why he was not opposed to the way he was dressed, tight pants with rips halfway up his thigh that showed off those dancer legs, shirt that showed enough. Han Geng didn’t mind letting everyone know that he was there to obey. The way Yesung was sitting-leaning against the bed’s headboard, with Han Geng leaning against him, the way Yesung’s hand tilted Han Geng’s face towards him when he caught Heechul looking-showed just how much Han Geng belonged to him.

Yesung for his part was the one who provided the stuff. He came from the streets, from the very bottom. Yesung had a beautiful voice, one that could melt hearts, bring tears, but he’d been born poor; too poor for anyone to look twice at him. And because no one looked at him, Yesung decided to make them look. He was the best at this, at selling, at making people come back, at getting the best to do his dirty work.

Kyuhyun was the best when it came to getting people to pay. He, Kyuhyun, had been born into a family that had money, too much money. When Kyuhyun was eight his father killed his mother, shot her through the head while Kyuhyun watched. His father went for his sister next. Kyuhyun had been too young to understand exactly what his father was talking about when he ordered his sister to scream and scream loud. Kyuhyun had never understood, probably didn’t ever want to understand what his father had done to his sister.

It might have been that that helped Kyuhyun become what he was. After he’d put a bullet through his father, he’d moved, had been taking to Seoul. He’s blended in well there until he met Yesung. Kyuhyun had always been smart about what he did. When his father died no one questioned it. Kyuhyun was sent to a foster home, raised well, attended a good school. But, there had always been that sense of urgency, that antsy feeling inside him that told him that his life was too tame, too simple, too easy.

Kyuhyun had met Yesung while he was fighting one of the gang leaders from before. Yesung had been winning, no matter how bad things looked with him outnumbered ten to one; Kyuhyun could tell Yesung was winning. Gang leaders all worked the same way before Yesung. If the gang leader lost then everyone lost. And Yesung, although he looked defenseless, could fight.

Kyuhyun got involved because one of the kids next to him had given him a dirty look. He’d meant just to pass by, to walk away, but he wasn’t one to take looks. What he most remembered from that night were the hot bodies, the beating hearts. The way the man beneath him screamed for mercy, the way Kyuhyun didn’t give him any. He remembered that face, so close to his, so close before someone pulled him away. There had been blood on his hands, warm, hot, blood, and bright red on his skin.

Kyuhyun didn’t remember whose blood it was. All he knew was that it was warm. It was very warm and he wanted more, wanted to feel it, slippery and wet on his hands. He hadn’t realized that kind of hunger existed, didn’t realize he was capable of that kind of craving; not until he was being pulled away from it. That blood on his hands was what he wanted, what he had been looking for, the screaming, the begging. He needed it all, wanted it.

He’d pulled away from whoever had been holding him, probably Yesung. Kyuhyun hadn’t stopped to think when he’d dived at the man on the floor. He hadn’t bothered to think that it might be wrong as he dug his hands into the soft flesh. He hadn’t stopped to think as those desperate pants filled his ears. There were people trying to tear him away, to take him away from what he wanted, but he hadn’t let them. He’s shoved them all away, had pulled down his pants there, in that alley.

And good fuck, but there was nothing like it that way. There was nothing like having a panting body beneath you, struggling against you. It was wet and slippery and red and so goddamn perfect. Kyuhyun had been so high, flying away as his fingers pressed into that neck. It’d been so good, so good until the body beneath him had stopped moving. Kyuhyun should have stopped then, but he couldn’t. He’d been too far gone by then.

All he’d done was pull out, his blood coated hands wrapping around him as fast as he could. It felt like nothing else, the way his hands were slippery, wet, warm. So good as he moved them, both of them, so easy to run them up and down and up and down. His head thrown back as that warmth left, replaced by even warmer thick liquid. And fuck. It had been so good.

“You’re sick.”

Kyuhyun had looked up and looked at the gang leaders face, Kangin was his name.

“Yes.” Kyuhyun had said. “Yes, I am sick.”

It was then that he noticed that everyone was watching him. He’d laughed then. No one but Yesung understood why he laughed. And it was that more than anything that made him say yes when Yesung asked him to be his killer. He did it because he loved the feel of blood on his hands, because Yesung was paying him good money, because it was what he did. He never questioned why it came so easy to him, why he was able to sleep so well at night.

After all, why question happiness?

He worked with Yesung because the pay was good and he got what he wanted. This, here, for example was fun. He liked watching the people who came into the room. He liked knowing that one day he’s have their blood on his hands, have that warm, thick, red running down his hands. It would happen eventually, maybe not to Siwon, maybe not to Heechul, maybe not even Zhou Mi, but one day someone would walk through that door and Kyuhyun would have their blood.

Kyuhyun looked back around the room. Han Geng had caught Heechul looking at him and was smirking even as he ran a hand higher up on Yesung’s thigh. Heechul was watching him, was watching the way Yesung let his hand dip into the waist band of Han Geng’s pants. Heechul’s reaction was predictable.

Kyuhyun watched as Heechul leaned over to put a hand on Zhou Mi’s thigh, his other hand pulling Siwon over to him. Heechul was easy to read if you paid attention. Kyuhyun watched as Heechul pulled Siwon close, mouthed at Siwon’s ear while feeling up Zhou Mi’s leg. Heechul was the only one who could ever hope to touch Zhou Mi like that in public. Kyuhyun didn’t get it, but it wasn’t his job to get it, just to watch and know them all.

Kyuhyun knew all the people in the room. He had seen them come in, one by one, from various backgrounds, from all parts of the city. He knew who they were just from the way they dressed, the way they walked in, the way they wrinkled their noses. He knew who they belonged to, the things they liked, what they didn’t. He knew that this was the longest time Yesung had ever hosted a group. He usually sent them away after a time or two, never offered them the good stuff. The good stuff was always for him or for Han Geng or for Kyuhyun. He didn’t share much.

Kyuhyun knew that these people here were as close as you could get to Yesung. They were all here because in a way they were family, a fucked up family, but a family nonetheless. Unlike a regular family though, once you screwed up here, you were dead.
Kyuhyun made sure of that.

“Is everyone here?” Yesung asked.

“No.” Siwon answered. “There’s one more.”

Yesung raised an eyebrow. “I don’t wait Siwon.”

“You don’t have to.”

Kyuhyun looked up just as Siwon looked back. The man by the door was short, but then so was everyone when you compared them to Siwon and Kyuhyun always compared them to Siwon, probably because Siwon had fucked them all. This man by the door was no exception. He was exactly the way Siwon liked them: small, black hair, big, dark eyes, pale complexion. He was pretty, sweet looking; Siwon’s type, his real type.

Sure, Heechul and Zhou Mi were pretty, but Heechul wasn’t sweet looking. Zhou Mi was, but then again, Siwon seemed to like Zhou Mi a lot better than he liked Heechul. Siwon spent more time with Zhou Mi than with Heechul and it wasn’t just sex then. Kyuhyun knew that Zhou Mi was a weak spot in Siwon and this man, whoever he may be, might be also. Kyuhyun turned back to Heechul and Zhou Mi. Neither seemed the least bit fazed by the new arrival. They just went back to sitting down on either side of Siwon, Zhou Mi leaning a bit closer, his own hand on Siwon’s shoulder. Possessive maybe.

“This is Sungmin.” Siwon said holding out his hand as Sungmin came over to him. “He’s the one I was telling you about Yesung. He’s good at what he does.”

Yesung smirked. “Is he now?”

“He’s as good as you like them.” Siwon said glancing at Han Geng who just smiled. “As good as I know you like them, maybe better.”

Han Geng laughed. “Do you need me to remind you how good I am Siwon?”

Yesung frowned, his fingers under Han Geng’s chin as he tilted his head back up to his. Yesung looked at him, into those brown eyes, the challenge set into both sets of eyes.

“What do you mean remind him?” Yesung asked,

"I mean exactly that," Han Geng said, rebellion obvious in his tone, "I know what he does, and I’ve seen him. It's...I don't even know where to begin."

Yesung's eyes hardened, his gaze flickering between Han Geng and Siwon, smirks on both of their faces. Kyuhyun watched, as he always did. He could feel the electricity crackle on his skin. That look on Yesung's face was good for no one.

Yesung growled, his hand fitting against Han Geng's throat, squeezing just a bit. Han Geng gasped under Yesung's hand, eyes widening, the smirk on his face faltering just for a moment.

"You do not," Yesung spat, turning to Siwon, "let him come near you. You do not look at each other. You do not exist to each other."

The body under Yesung's hands gasped again, the sound getting lost as Yesung moved down, pressing his mouth forcefully against Han Geng's own, the moan that was let out between them audible to everyone in the room. Siwon could only watch as Yesung laid his claim, still pressing his fingers into Han Geng's throat, still kissing him with enough force to knock the both of them over.

That, Kyuhyun knew, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight before him, was what was scary about Yesung. He was strong, incredibly strong for such a tiny man, and Kyuhyun didn't know what Han Geng was thinking, because he knew that they were all aware of it.

Kyuhyun didn’t understand Han Geng, but then he really didn’t need to. He just needed to watch him, watch them all. You didn’t need to understand a person to know what they did. It was never Kyuhyun’s job to understand. If he needed to understand he would have told Yesung to fuck off years ago. Kyuhyun hadn’t been born to understand, just to watch and get his reward for watching.

“You never fucking touch him. Do you understand?” Yesung said, his hand against Han Geng’s neck. “Never touch him unless you want me to fuck you over. Don’t touch what’s mine Siwon. I don’t give a fuck if he’s begging you to. You don’t touch what’s mine. No one does.”

“Fuck you.” Heechul said. “I touch whatever I fucking want to.”

Yesung smirked. “I’d watch what I say Heechul. You’re here because I let you come here. I like you. Don’t get on my bad side.”

Heechul scoffed.

“Do you need me to remind you who I am? Or should I just show you how mine Han Geng is?”

No one said anything. Kyuhyun watched Siwon then Han Geng. They exchanged another look, but it wasn’t the kind of look Kyuhyun expected. It wasn’t scared, more intimate, like a look between two people who were doing business together, who knew a bit about each other. The look wasn’t one between strangers.

“On your knees.” Yesung said pushing Han Geng away from him.

Kyuhyun looked away, to Sungmin who was standing behind Siwon. He watched the way Sungmin’s eyes followed Han Geng. Kyuhyun looked back, watched as Han Geng went down on his knees. Yesung ran his hand into Geng’s hair, pulled slightly so that Han Geng was looking at him.

“Suck.” Yesung said.

Kyuhyun watched the smirk on Geng’s face, watched as Han Geng pulled down Yesung’s pants. None of them could look away, probably didn’t want to. There was something hypnotizing about Han Geng on his knees, his mouth working around Yesung. The look in Yesung’s eyes was daring them all to look away, even as he gasped, his hands pushing into Geng’s hair.

“Stop.” Yesung growled.

Han Geng stopped, pulled away and stood up. Kyuhyun watched Yesung. It said a lot about Yesung’s power that he could pull his pants up like that and not look stupid.

“Give them what they came for.” Yesung said turning to Kyuhyun. “Then let them out except for Sungmin.”

Kyuhyun nodded, turning away as Yesung dragged Han Geng to the room next door. He knew what was going to happen next, all of them knew. They weren’t the least bit surprised when the heard the bang against the wall.

“Good…fuck.” Heechul whispered.

Sungmin laughed. “I think that’s the plan.”

“I didn’t know Yesung was that possessive.” Zhou Mi said.

Siwon smirked, his hand on Zhou Mi’s neck rubbing small circles. “Sometimes possessive is good.”

Heechul and Sungmin smirked. Kyuhyun sighed. He felt off, like he was part of Siwon’s little group.

“Possessive is very good.” Heechul said running his hand under Siwon’s shirt and up his chest.

“Hey,” Kyuhyun said tossing over a packet. “Hands off each other.”

Kyuhyun didn’t smoke often, but he did this time, mostly because he couldn’t drag his eyes away from Sungmin and that was never good. His eyes were drawn to the white smoothness of Sungmin’s skin, the curve of that neck. He knew his fingers would fit perfectly around that neck.

He pulled on the joint, let the smoke fill his head. He didn’t like smoking because apart from screwing with his head, it just made worked him up. Apparently he wasn’t the only one judging from the way Heechul was all over Siwon’s lap, his lips attached to Siwon’s neck as Siwon and Zhou Mi’s mouths fought each other.

Kyuhyun didn’t even bother to say a word. He couldn’t drag his eyes away either and it was just making him angry. Heechul and Zhou Mi and Siwon, plus the noises from the room behind them were starting to get to him. He didn’t want to know what Yesung was doing to drag that many curses from Han Geng, especially considering that Geng didn’t talk all that much.

“Alright.” Kyuhyun said when he couldn’t take it anymore. “Out of here.”

Siwon was the first one to pull away from Zhou Mi. “What?”

“Out.” Kyuhyun repeated.

There were mumbles and protests, especially from Heechul, but Kyuhyun knew they would listen. All of them were like little kittens after a smoke, the most compliant anyone would ever find them.

“You stay.” Kyuhyun said just as Sungmin was making his way after Siwon.

“Right.” Sungmin said flopping down on the couch.

Kyuhyun watched Sungmin. His mind was already running a million miles a minute, excuses for why Sungmin needed to come with him were playing and replaying in his head. He just needed some time alone with Sungmin, just some time.

He was already opening his mouth to blurt out his excuse when the door behind them opened. Yesung walked out, hair a mess, eyes amused. Han Geng walked out after him, shirt open, smirk planted on his face.

“Everyone’s gone?” Yesung asked.

“Yeah.” Kyuhyun said, his eyes focusing on the red skin around Han Geng’s left wrist.

“Good. They paid?”

“Like always.” Kyuhyun answered.

“Go find Heechul.” Yesung said sliding his fingers over the skin on Han Geng’s wrist. “Bring him back. I need to teach him a lesson.”

“Can I help?” Han Geng asked, his eyes wide and innocent.

Yesung laughed. “Bring him back and we’ll see.”

Han Geng’s smile was a little more than suggestive as he walked out. Sometimes Kyuhyun wondered who was in charge, whether it was Yesung or Han Geng, but only sometimes, because Yesung was Yesung.

“Now, tell me Sungmin, what are you good at?” Yesung asked.

Kyuhyun turned to Sungmin. He watched the smooth white neck, the way the vein on Sungmin’s neck pulsed as he talked. He felt his hands twitch just from imagining what that neck would feel like under his fingers, how it would feel to squeeze, to press his thumbs into the Adam’s apple. He swallowed hard against the thought of Sungmin thrashing on the bed, eyes wide as he fought Kyuhyun’s hold. Those big, dark eyes looking at him, wide with fear, with the sense of impending doom. Kyuhyun would like that, would like the way Sungmin would stare at him as he held power over him. It would be delicious, the run of those nails on his arm, fighting until there was no more fight left.

Kyuhyun would squeeze; hips moving as he closed his eyes. He’d gasp and moan and then Sungmin would stop moving, his whole body freezing over and Kyuhyun would keep moving. He’d move until his body shook and if he was lucky, if he timed it right, he’d come just as Sungmin stopped moving on the bed.

“Kyuhyun?”

Kyuhyun looked up, dragging his thoughts away from Sungmin. He looked at Yesung who was watching him, eyes narrowed, mouth set.

“Yes?” Kyuhyun answered.

“I think you need a break.” Yesung said. “Go out and do something.”

Kyuhyun looked at him, eyes guarded. He didn’t like the way Yesung sounded, almost amused.

“Maybe you and Sungmin can talk. He’ll be working at the club from now on. Siwon recommended him, so we have to take care of him. Show him around, but first take care of that guy who came to ask for an extension. I gave him a week and he hasn’t come back. I want him gone by the end of today.” Yesung looked up. “Take Sungmin with you. Show him what happens when you don’t listen to me.”

Kyuhyun nodded, his heart already racing in anticipation. He could almost feel the warmth on his hands, the flesh underneath his fingers. Not to mention, he was so fucking high he felt like he was flying. He wanted to sink his hands into soft warm flesh, to bite down, suck.

“Let’s go.” Kyuhyun said.

Sungmin raised an eyebrow at him, the corner of his lips lifting in something that vaguely resembled a smirk. Kyuhyun rolled his eyes walking out the door. Sungmin was following him or so he assumed. The world wasn’t exactly right side up yet. They passed one of the doors on the way upstairs and Kyuhyun had to stop.

He did it mostly because he was riding his high and he was a bit worked up, well slightly more than a bit, but he’d never admit that. He wasn’t sure he wanted to admit that the single thought of blood-on his hands, life seeping into his arms, wonderful warmth on his hands-was enough to drive him to this point. Sungmin was the only one around too and the noises coming from that room were driving him slowly insane.

He leaned against the door, listened to Heechul’s low whimpers.

“Fuck me.”

Hankyung’s laugh echoed through Kyuhyun’s head. He shuddered, leaning against the wall. That’s why he rarely smoked. He didn’t like how worked up he got. It made things messy when Yesung sent him out to do something. He was never one to be messy. He couldn’t be messy. His mind just didn’t work that way. Things had an order, should always have an order.

“You seem rather happy.” Heechul’s voice echoed down the hall. “What’s your name?”

It was almost cute the way Heechul thought that Hankyung was worked up because of him. Cute, because the only reason why Han Geng was there, pressing Heechul up against the wall was because Yesung wanted it. Kyuhyun was almost tempted to go in and tell him, if only because someone needed to ground Heechul. He didn’t do it, settled instead for something better.

“Sungmin.” Kyuhyun called, reaching out to take those shoulders in his hands. “Come here.”

Sungmin was soft, pliant, giving under his fingers. He molded against Kyuhyun, letting Kyuhyun do what he wanted as he pressed their lips together. And Kyuhyun liked it. He liked when they were obedient, when they let him have his way. Zhou Mi had been like that in the beginning, but then Zhou Mi wasn’t like Sungmin. Sungmin would do whatever Kyuhyun wanted, because that’s what Sungmin had been taught to do. Sungmin would never say no.

“Let’s go.” Kyuhyun said breaking off almost as soon as he started. “I need to get this shit over with so that I can go home and relax.”

Sungmin smirked, pressing closer to Kyuhyun. They were looking at each other, Sungmin’s big, dark eyes smoldering, hinting at promises that Kyuhyun had never even heard of. He returned the smirk, his lips close enough to brush against Sungmin’s soft ones.

“I think you need to move away Sungmin.” Kyuhyun said, voice low and soft. “You don’t know who you’re dealing with.”

Sungmin laughed. “I think I know very well who I’m dealing with.”

Sungmin’s hands ran up his side, under his shirt, so soft. Kyuhyun let out a low growl and turned them around so that he had Sungmin pressed against the wall, their bodies touching.

“You have no idea who I am Sungmin.” Kyuhyun whispered. “No idea.”

Kyuhyun could feel the way Sungmin tensed against him. He could feel the way Sungmin’s heart was racing. He could almost see the way the blood would run if he were to just reach into this belt and pull out that knife he carried with him. Just one small cut anywhere and there would be blood. Sungmin’s blood, bright red. Kyuhyun would enjoy watching the sheets in his room turn red.

“Kyuhyun.” Sungmin whispered even as Kyuhyun pressed him closer to the wall.

He would have done it-would have taken Sungmin there, would have forgotten about what Yesung had sent him to do-if only Han Geng hadn’t walked out of the room.

“Kyuhyun?” Han Geng said when he saw him.

Kyuhyun turned to those brown eyes. He raised an eyebrow at Heechul’s hand in Han Geng’s.

“We’re going to see Yesung.” Han Geng answered, the look in his eyes saying everything he wasn’t. “Siwon is busy you know. He dragged Zhou Mi away and I think Heechul-ah needs company. What are you doing?”

Kyuhyun yawned and moved away from Sungmin. “I’m going to show Sungmin what happens when you don’t do what Yesung wants.”

Han Geng nodded. “Right, have fun.”

Fun was an interesting word, Kyuhyun thought as he and Sungmin walked off. Fun could be a lot of things and what was fun for one person didn’t necessarily have to be fun for another. Kyuhyun’s definition of fun was…twisted to put it lightly, but he did what he wanted. He was going to have fun. He had decided as much as he and Sungmin pushed their way through the bodies on the main floor of the club. They passed Zhou Mi and Siwon who were leaning into each other, mouths working, Siwon’s hands noticeably lowered.

“You have interesting friends.” Kyuhyun said pushing the door open and stepping into the air outside.

Sungmin laughed. “Siwon is good at what he does. I’ve never been with Zhou Mi so I can’t tell you about that. Siwon tends to get possessive.”

“I can be possessive too.” Kyuhyun answered.

There really was no denying what they were going to do. Yesung had sent Sungmin with Kyuhyun because he knew that ever since Sungmin walked through that door, Kyuhyun had wanted to touch that white skin. He wanted to push Sungmin down somewhere, leave marks behind.

“Hurry up and finish what you have to do. I don’t like to wait.”

Kyuhyun said nothing. He walked along, keeping his head up, eyes searching. They found that man tied to one end of the alley gate. He was hunched over, his wrist raw from the handcuffs that were holding him in place.

“Yesung doesn’t play does he?” Sungmin asked.

Kyuhyun shook his head as he walked over. The man was awake, but quiet as if he had already given up whatever hope he had left. Kyuhyun smiled. He liked them this way. He liked knowing that eventually the man would do something, feel something, because Kyuhyun would make sure he did.

“You should have just done what Yesung wanted.”

The man said nothing just looked at Kyuhyun with wide eyes. Kyuhyun sighed, pulled out the knife he always carried with him and placed it against the man’s neck.

“You should always listen.” Kyuhyun whispered sliding the knife down.

He watched the red against the man’s skin. He pressed harder, heard the scream and kept pressing, watching as the blade sank deeper and deeper into the man’s skin. He felt the way the knife slide so easily, fell through. He could hear he soft moans of pain. His hands were warm, the blood coating them and Kyuhyun didn’t stop. He kept pressing, ran the knife down the man’s throat, stopping when he reached the man’s chest.

“Do it.” Sungmin whispered, his breath trailing up Kyuhyun’s neck as he pressed himself against Kyuhyun. “Do it.”

Kyuhyun repressed the shudder as Sungmin’s hand covered his own, their fingers twining, slippery from the blood on Kyuhyun’s hand. The knife slipped from his hands, fell to the floor. He sighed as Sungmin’s tongue licked up his ear, Sungmin’s free hand going to pull down Kyuhyun’s zipper.

“Finish it.” Sungmin gasped into his ear even as their hands wrapped around Kyuhyun together.

Kyuhyun gasped, hips bucking into his hand, the feel of his warm hand overpowering him for a second. Warm and wet. He closed his eyes, threw his head back as he let Sungmin move his hands for him. Warm blood on his hands, on him, blood on his arms, lips by his ear, a warm body behind him. Fuck, it was almost too much.

“Stop.” Kyuhyun gasped as Sungmin’s fingers pressed down.

“I don’t want to.”

Kyuhyun made a noise low in his throat, yanked his hands away and turned. “I said stop.”

Sungmin looked at him, dark eyes meeting Kyuhyun’s. There was a look in Sungmin’s eyes as he looked at the blood on Kyuhyun’s hands, at the man behind him.

“He’s still alive.” Sungmin whispered.

They stood there for a minute, both listening to the soft breathing behind them, the low moans of pain. Kyuhyun could easily imagine them filling his head, gasps of pleasure as he moved. And it would be good because it was always good, always so fucking good. Kyuhyun closed his eyes, let the sounds fill him.

He made to turn just as Sungmin let out a soft noise. Kyuhyun opened his eyes to look at Sungmin. There was something new in those eyes, something that made Kyuhyun’s heart skip a beat.

“He’s still alive.” Sungmin whispered, his voice raw with lust. “Kyuhyun, he’s still alive.”

“Fuck.” Kyuhyun said.

And then they were at each other. Kyuhyun’s hands on Sungmin’s face, lips working together, tongues slipping against each other. They backed up so that Sungmin was pressed against the alley wall, their bodies moving against each other as Sungmin pulled open Kyuhyun’s shirt. Kyuhyun let out a low growl, his hands fumbling with Sungmin’s pants. They fought to get at each other, to tear away clothes, both so hungry and so wanting.

Kyuhyun got Sungmin’s pants off first, shoved him hard against the wall, drinking in Sungmin’s hiss of pain as his bare back rubbed against the bricks. Kyuhyun didn’t wait for Sungmin. He pulled one of Sungmin’s legs around his waist, letting Sungmin hold on to his shoulders and then he moved.

It wasn’t soft or easy. Kyuhyun pushed in on one go, drinking down Sungmin’s scream. Kyuhyun did most of the moving, his hands gripping Sungmin’s hips so hard he knew there would be bruises. But, he didn’t care, could only think of how good it was to fill something, to feel warmth around him, warm like his hands had been around him. It felt so good to move against Sungmin, to hear the noises in his ear, to feel that tongue against his neck.

Sungmin was good, just like Siwon had said, so fucking good or maybe Kyuhyun was just He pushed in over and over, his hands squeezing harder as Sungmin gasped in his ear. Sex was like killing and Sungmin was his victim. So soft, soft flesh under his hand as he pounded in over and over. He wanted to press his fingers into the soft skin of Sungmin’s neck, wanted to squeeze until he had Sungmin gasping for another reason. His hands were on Sungmin’s neck, one of Sungmin’s legs down on the floor to keep them standing.

“Do it.” Sungmin gasped in his ear. “Do it before I lose it.”

Kyuhyun didn’t even hesitate, his hands going around Sungmin’s neck as he moved. He pressed his fingers in, watched the way Sungmin’s eyes widened. The look wasn’t right, didn’t look right because Sungmin wasn’t scared.

“Close your eyes and pretend.” Sungmin whispered as Kyuhyun’s hands loosened around his neck. “Pretend.”

Kyuhyun had heard that before, from his old therapists, from people who thought they knew who he was. Pretend. It was easy unless you didn’t want to. Today, however, was a good day. Kyuhyun was too far gone into this, wanted this too much. His hands had wanted Sungmin’s neck the minute he saw it.

“Yes.” Sungmin hissed as Kyuhyun’s hands went around his neck.

Kyuhyun buried his face in Sungmin’s neck, feeling the way Sungmin’s heart thudded against his chest. Kyuhyun gasped, his hands tightening around Sungmin’s neck, his hips moving, keeping the pace fast. He buried his fingers in Sungmin’s neck, feeling the tremors run through Sungmin’s body. He could hear Sungmin gasping out barely audible words as Kyuhyun’s fingers sank into the soft flesh, so soft, so perfect.

They were in the middle of an alley, nothing too public because no one ever came around here, but they were still outside and Kyuhyun got off on that. He pushed once more, letting go of Sungmin’s neck just as Sungmin came, screaming his throat raw. Kyuhyun moaned his hands gripping Sungmin’s thighs as he worked himself over and over.

“Fuck.” Sungmin gasped. “Yes.”

Kyuhyun pushed in once more, his hands digging into Sungmin’s thighs as he came.

“Fuck.” Kyuhyun gasped, shoving himself away.

He turned away, breathing hard, his body still shaking from the aftershocks.

“You are sick.” Kyuhyun laughed turning back in time to see Sungmin pull on his pants.

“Yeah,” Sungmin answered closing his shirt. “I am.”

Kyuhyun shook his head. He pulled his pants back on, closed his shirt and turned away. He refused to believe that he might have found someone like him, someone who enjoyed it as much as he did.

“I feel it too Kyuhyun.” Sungmin said. “I know what it’s like.”

Kyuhyun looked at the man behind him. “He’s dead.”

Sungmin came to stand next to him. “Yeah. He is.”

“How do you stop yourself?”

“Sex.” Sungmin answered. “Rough, hard, fast sex. Siwon is good at it.”

“hmm.”

“You’re pretty good at it too.”

“I’m good at everything.” Kyuhyun said.

“Except you can’t control it. You let it get to you. You have to kill them.”

Kyuhyun looked at his hands, red with blood, not just this man’s, but everyone else too. He’d had so many he couldn’t even count anymore, so many men, always men because he didn’t hurt women. He’d had some of them beg, some of them cry. He’d had some who didn’t even blink. All of them, on his hands, staining them red like a beacon in the dark ocean. He needed them. All of them.

“They need to die.” Kyuhyun said.

“Some of them don’t deserve to die and you know it.”

Kyuhyun looked up right into Sungmin’s eyes. “I never said they deserved it. I just said they needed to die.”

Kyuhyun yawned, stretching as he turned to walk away. Sungmin didn’t understand. None of them understood him, probably never would. He did this because he wanted to. He did it because he had to. He needed it like everyone else needed to breathe. And he knew that Sungmin wasn’t like him. Sungmin could stop it, could control whatever desire he had by crawling into someone’s bed.

Kyuhyun wasn’t like that.

He’d been in Yesung and Han Geng’s bed. He’d had long legs, white arms, pretty necks. He’d felt soft arms, muscled arms. He’d had every kind and he still had to get up eventually and do this. He needed it. No matter how many people he had in bed, out of it, he still ended up with blood on his hands.

He needed that. He needed to feel it, to have it coat his hands. He needed to feel it trickle down his arms, caressing, warm, inviting. He knew what it was like to be so fucking high and to fuck. He knew what it felt like to kill and fuck after. But the blood on his hands, that, well, there was nothing like that.

A/N: Imma go back to my hiatus now.