I'm done.
I'm not doing this whole dating or fucking thing ever again.
The last two times I hung out with William, I was made up, boobs up to my chin and feisty as all hell. No response. The first time it happened, I got up and left. He sent me texts as I was going home asking me why I left in such a hurry. I told him I felt rejected, and he apologized and said he just wasn't in the mood. We had a text fest, that ended with me asking if he wanted to get some coffee the next day before work to talk about things more and he said he'd love to.
The next day I texted him to meet up. I didn't get a response until two hours later when I was pulling up to the store. I went inside and asked Jose if I could come back in an hour because labor was really bad that week, and then headed off to William's apartment a few blocks away. I called him and said "Hey, are you ready?" "For what?" "For coffee." "Damn. I thought you meant like a few days from now." "No...yesterday I said tomorrow, which is today." "..." "Ok, fine, I'll just turn around and sit outside work 'til I can clock in." "Ok." WTF.
He showed up for work and I was pissed and tried to ignore him but he was so cocky and playful, and I couldn't help but giggle and smile and melt. We played the whole shift and made plans to hang out after I closed the store, which I did with amazing speed.
We went back to my place, and I showered and threw myself at him full throttle...to get no response. He wasn't...UP to it. After all that. I got nothing. Then he cried. He cried and apologized for being such a disappointment and said he was stressed and that's all he's ever done is disappoint people, that's why he can never go back home, la la la. I comforted him as he told me he was so afraid of ruining this relationship. I told him no way, you're so sweet and I'm sorry for being all shitty last night, la la la. We slept and I took him home Sunday before I went to work. While I was dropping him off, he told me that we have so much to talk about, hugged me, kissed me, we made plans for spring break the following week (this past week), excited that we could finally go on a real date, and off he went.
So he shows up to work later that day, and it's totally normal. I was outside cleaning the windows and he was taking a smoke break and we were bitching about how no one else does anything, and he received a phone call. He was excited to receive this phone call, and was talking to the person on the other line...not like he would talk to his roommates or a friend. I was thinking "Omg, now I'm being that crazy paranoid person."
So I call him that night, like a crazy paranoid person would, and I asked him if he want to have that talk. His response was, "Damn, I was talking about, you know, down the road." And as my heart flipped that we were on a road, I heard a girl's voice in the background. Surely it was just the tv or something, right!? We had a quick chat and got off the phone.
I didn't hear from him except to tell me he didn't want to hang out this and that night...until fucking Thursday when I texted him a picture of an art installation at Hermann Park from a newspaper. "Ooh, when can we go." We made plans to go Thursday night, and I asked if he wanted to spend the night and go to the Fine Arts Museum on Friday. We were set.
I picked him up after work and we went to my apartment. After I showered, I went in for a kiss and he did the side face thing where he kissed my cheek. I pointed it out and he shrugged. So we went off to the park and the whole time he had this..distance. We saw a piece of a play at Miller Outdoor Theater, and walked around the Japanese garden which was closed. Finally we headed off to the grocery store because I needed some cash and I wanted to make him dinner. Steak and potatoes. As I was picking out the steak, he drops this little bomb on me.
"You know the last couple of times, how things didn't..happen? Well, I want to be honest with you, I really tried, but I only think of you as a friend. A really awesome friend, but just a friend."
My response..."Dude, ok, I'm not having this conversation in the middle of the grocery store."
As pissed as I was to hear that...things were...not awkward after that, we actually started to have a really good time. We went back to the apartment and I cooked and we drank, and we watched Spirited Away...and then that's when disaster struck. He tickled me, he touched me, we play fought and every fucking touch felt like I was going to die right there. He started to put his arm around me at some point and stopped. He gave me a back rub. He slapped my ass. He had never been so physically playful and sweet before...and it killed me.
We woke up the next morning and went to the museum, and it was nice. Then I started driving him home. Disaster stuck again in the form of a tiny tear that wiggled it's way out from the corner of my eye. And then it's mom, cousins, and sister's friends all followed.
He asked if I was ok and I told him to shut up and look over that way because I totally wasn't crying. No, not me.
I got to his apartment and he said he was sorry and squeezed me tight and gave me little kisses. He told me I was awesome and that he had a great time.
I've been crying ever since. TO BE CONTINUED.
The last two times I hung out with William, I was made up, boobs up to my chin and feisty as all hell. No response. The first time it happened, I got up and left. He sent me texts as I was going home asking me why I left in such a hurry. I told him I felt rejected, and he apologized and said he just wasn't in the mood. We had a text fest, that ended with me asking if he wanted to get some coffee the next day before work to talk about things more and he said he'd love to.
The next day I texted him to meet up. I didn't get a response until two hours later when I was pulling up to the store. I went inside and asked Jose if I could come back in an hour because labor was really bad that week, and then headed off to William's apartment a few blocks away. I called him and said "Hey, are you ready?" "For what?" "For coffee." "Damn. I thought you meant like a few days from now." "No...yesterday I said tomorrow, which is today." "..." "Ok, fine, I'll just turn around and sit outside work 'til I can clock in." "Ok." WTF.
He showed up for work and I was pissed and tried to ignore him but he was so cocky and playful, and I couldn't help but giggle and smile and melt. We played the whole shift and made plans to hang out after I closed the store, which I did with amazing speed.
We went back to my place, and I showered and threw myself at him full throttle...to get no response. He wasn't...UP to it. After all that. I got nothing. Then he cried. He cried and apologized for being such a disappointment and said he was stressed and that's all he's ever done is disappoint people, that's why he can never go back home, la la la. I comforted him as he told me he was so afraid of ruining this relationship. I told him no way, you're so sweet and I'm sorry for being all shitty last night, la la la. We slept and I took him home Sunday before I went to work. While I was dropping him off, he told me that we have so much to talk about, hugged me, kissed me, we made plans for spring break the following week (this past week), excited that we could finally go on a real date, and off he went.
So he shows up to work later that day, and it's totally normal. I was outside cleaning the windows and he was taking a smoke break and we were bitching about how no one else does anything, and he received a phone call. He was excited to receive this phone call, and was talking to the person on the other line...not like he would talk to his roommates or a friend. I was thinking "Omg, now I'm being that crazy paranoid person."
So I call him that night, like a crazy paranoid person would, and I asked him if he want to have that talk. His response was, "Damn, I was talking about, you know, down the road." And as my heart flipped that we were on a road, I heard a girl's voice in the background. Surely it was just the tv or something, right!? We had a quick chat and got off the phone.
I didn't hear from him except to tell me he didn't want to hang out this and that night...until fucking Thursday when I texted him a picture of an art installation at Hermann Park from a newspaper. "Ooh, when can we go." We made plans to go Thursday night, and I asked if he wanted to spend the night and go to the Fine Arts Museum on Friday. We were set.
I picked him up after work and we went to my apartment. After I showered, I went in for a kiss and he did the side face thing where he kissed my cheek. I pointed it out and he shrugged. So we went off to the park and the whole time he had this..distance. We saw a piece of a play at Miller Outdoor Theater, and walked around the Japanese garden which was closed. Finally we headed off to the grocery store because I needed some cash and I wanted to make him dinner. Steak and potatoes. As I was picking out the steak, he drops this little bomb on me.
"You know the last couple of times, how things didn't..happen? Well, I want to be honest with you, I really tried, but I only think of you as a friend. A really awesome friend, but just a friend."
My response..."Dude, ok, I'm not having this conversation in the middle of the grocery store."
As pissed as I was to hear that...things were...not awkward after that, we actually started to have a really good time. We went back to the apartment and I cooked and we drank, and we watched Spirited Away...and then that's when disaster struck. He tickled me, he touched me, we play fought and every fucking touch felt like I was going to die right there. He started to put his arm around me at some point and stopped. He gave me a back rub. He slapped my ass. He had never been so physically playful and sweet before...and it killed me.
We woke up the next morning and went to the museum, and it was nice. Then I started driving him home. Disaster stuck again in the form of a tiny tear that wiggled it's way out from the corner of my eye. And then it's mom, cousins, and sister's friends all followed.
He asked if I was ok and I told him to shut up and look over that way because I totally wasn't crying. No, not me.
I got to his apartment and he said he was sorry and squeezed me tight and gave me little kisses. He told me I was awesome and that he had a great time.
I've been crying ever since. TO BE CONTINUED.