(no subject)
so yea, the panic about us moving in together has subsided.
i'm still nervous about finding a job, but i do have enough(and will have more by then) to be able to go a week maybe without a job while i look while i'm down there. its difficult to look right now while i'm still working and don't have easy quick transport to teh city and back during the day.
though i am reasearching mta and light rail for my daily commuting when we move
my mom brought up again today how i'm not taking classes this fall... and yea.. it's not going to be able to happen.
money and transport.
i'm kind of okay with this.
even though i am still majorly frustrated that i still have only completed one solid year of college, while most of my peers/high school buddies are seniors this year.
buti still don't really know what i want to do.
the day i crashed my car in phili i just decided out of the blue that day that i'd do this science teacher thing instead.
i really don't know where that impulse came from, and now that i've had some time away from it i'm questioning it.
but i don't really know what else i love.
so i have the fall off.
i want to revisit painting... we will have an absolutely lovely studio there.
but it is ludicrious to expect i will magically discover what i want to do with my life by spring semester.
i want to have a degree in something that will gaurantee i have a job when i graduate. something i can support myself and eventaully a family on. with health care and benefits such as that.
i want chris to go back to school too.
i want us to find somewhere to transfer to in the fall. i could still get my AA degree by next fall if i take full winter and summer course loads.
we'll see.
i can't force chris to stay in maryland forever though...
bah :(
i want to travel too. but i want us to get our degrees.
and we are poor.
my mother has even suggested in a totally i'm not kidding way that we get married... (since we all believe and desire to be heading in that direction) so that we will have better chances of paying for school together and it would help with taxes. we'd get better loans, i wouldnt need to claim my parents anymore on fafsa (thats really screwing me, b/c i am an independant but fafsa wont believe that until you are 24 or married. i have many many problems with fafsa)
i dont think we are at all ready for that. i definitely am not. but maybe... eventually.
bah.
excitement to live downtown though.
even if i dont get my degree till i;m 30.
bah. my goal is no later than 25. NO LATER. but thats next year for chris. he's a boy though. his internal clock is set to different alarms.
i just wish he showed more concern about it.
i'd like to have a degree a job a life supported by being curious.