slip out of my life
curious how the most non consequential conversations with unexpected people can jolt me into a whole stream of thoughts. the thoughts then manifest themselves into various forms, causing me to unknowingly convince myself to believe in certain scenarios and decide that what they say make so much sense after all. these thoughts subtly warp what i used to believe in, making me doubt what i've done.
having said that, i noticed how i had subsequently gone missing from cyber space in london last year. a culmination of never ever having time to myself and the hustle and bustle of life there has resulted in a lack of time to just reflect and pinpoint the various occurrences in my life. i don't know whether i should actually be lamenting about not having personal space when it seems that i've brought it all upon myself.
its so acutely different. the people here and the people over there.
the interactions, the practicality overriding any sense of a risk, the excessive conversations which put people in awkward situations, the nitpicking at every single problem and the critical judging of people around.
talking to friends and others have made me doubt myself in several ways, especially regarding where i should place my heart. it seems like i might have had enough of this. i've seemed to have wrapped a cold cocoon around the memories which have built up there, letting it slip away like in the form of a dream, slowly floating down a dark mythological river.
i would really like to defend myself. but the thought of letting go seems to be lurking at every obscure corner of my mind.
maybe its just because i'm back here that the feeling's gone.
maybe the abutment and rush will come back again
maybe
having said that, i noticed how i had subsequently gone missing from cyber space in london last year. a culmination of never ever having time to myself and the hustle and bustle of life there has resulted in a lack of time to just reflect and pinpoint the various occurrences in my life. i don't know whether i should actually be lamenting about not having personal space when it seems that i've brought it all upon myself.
its so acutely different. the people here and the people over there.
the interactions, the practicality overriding any sense of a risk, the excessive conversations which put people in awkward situations, the nitpicking at every single problem and the critical judging of people around.
talking to friends and others have made me doubt myself in several ways, especially regarding where i should place my heart. it seems like i might have had enough of this. i've seemed to have wrapped a cold cocoon around the memories which have built up there, letting it slip away like in the form of a dream, slowly floating down a dark mythological river.
i would really like to defend myself. but the thought of letting go seems to be lurking at every obscure corner of my mind.
maybe its just because i'm back here that the feeling's gone.
maybe the abutment and rush will come back again
maybe