que sera sera
trite but true time does go by in a blink of an eye. i shall avoid emphasizing on how it seems only days ago when we were counting down to 2009- watching the sunset, having delicious drinks and oreos with marshmellowcreams, playing 'who's dead' by the beach. its funny how things have seem to come full circle, you being there by my side holding me again on the first minute to 2010.
because that's what everyone seems to be doing. placing down resolutions, reflecting over the massive span of a one year and whatever bits and pieces which made it up. the palpitating sensations which raced through hearts throughout the year, the essence of every sweet or bitter sensation which reminded us that we were alive. sometimes i wish i could store the best moments which have ever happened in an airtight jar so that i could choose to relive those times over and over again for the rest of my life. but then i realised how it doesnt make any sense at all cos that would mean i'd never get a chance to make new memories to fill that jar to its brim.
its not that i dont have the need to make resolutions. god knows how much i do, its just that i find pple usually spend an intangible amount of time just making those resolutions but never actually carrying them out. i remember how when i was younger, around eight, i would carefully write down all my new year's resolutions for the year on little scraps of paper and fold them up into paper stars. then for days after i would actually unravel each star and try my very hardest to complete what i had written on the sheet. those were the days when resolutions still actually mattered a whole lot to me.
instead of resolutions i'd go with new year's wishes instead. because there are so many things i would still wish for if i could plus birthday wishes never seem to come true. its so hard being altruistic, but if i could i'd fix up all the broken things in my life and make them like they're brand new again. i also wish i had kaleidoscope eyes, so that i can see what others can't see in so many ways that they can only imagine.
i'm starting to sound all solemn and drizzly but im actually kind of at peace with myself. its the knowing that i can now store up all those glitzy or dreadful memories of the past year into a huge cardboard box wrapped in shiny paper till time calls for some good old nostalgia.
and yes, i am thankful for the people who i love and who love me ♥