long overdue
so this whole work/school thing is KILLING ME. i don't know how people manage to be a full time student and work full time and have a life. i can't not have a life again. its too depressing and i am no longer that girl. never again will i be that girl that can only focus on one thing. i want to be a well rounded person. so far school has completely kicked my ass. Sociology is a load of shit. its completely pointless in my book. its common sense people. Government can go fuck itself too. every week we have a chapter summary due. every week i copy all the vocab words from the side margins in the book and send it to her. its the lamest excuse for a class ever. i think i have a paper and a final in that class and thats about it. i'm glad nothing will be learned. Next we have microeconomics. i def have a test tomorrow in that and i have not studied one bit. all i have to go on in that class are the tests. i'm pretty pumped. finally, theres accounting. the only class that i truly need to try in because i have homework and quizzes to do every week and i have absolutly no clue what is going on in there. i spend all my time working on this class and thats why the others are suffering. i hate not knowing how to do this. everything else i can figure out pretty easy but this. its so different from what i'm used to. UGH.
i'm def spending too much time with certain friends. jay and company in particular. i'm just tired of the drama between him and brittney. i know one of them is lying to me but jay is my best friend so i refuse to believe its him. i hate that i'm in the middle of their relationship and i hate that all of our conversations revolve around them. i also hate that she's more important to him than i am. i hate that he pushes me to the side for all these other girls. don't get me wrong, i'm not in love with him. i just hate that i do so much for that kid and he puts no effort in to our friendship. i feel like its gotton to the point that he just expects me to be there unconditionally. i'm not sure if i can handle such a one sided relationship anymore.
i miss john. i miss him alot. i miss being 18.
i'm def spending too much time with certain friends. jay and company in particular. i'm just tired of the drama between him and brittney. i know one of them is lying to me but jay is my best friend so i refuse to believe its him. i hate that i'm in the middle of their relationship and i hate that all of our conversations revolve around them. i also hate that she's more important to him than i am. i hate that he pushes me to the side for all these other girls. don't get me wrong, i'm not in love with him. i just hate that i do so much for that kid and he puts no effort in to our friendship. i feel like its gotton to the point that he just expects me to be there unconditionally. i'm not sure if i can handle such a one sided relationship anymore.
i miss john. i miss him alot. i miss being 18.