(no subject)

[starzarefalling]

i am trying not to lose control
of everything i've promised myself
would happen
and would not happen

i'm regretting decisions to be generous
and wishing i would have done something for myself
though, at the time, i thought my actions would make me happy
but i realize, within a certain context (this one in particular), i won't be happy again.
i also realize, it's like one big joke

i'm also not sure why i let myself suffer for other people's instability.
for the most part, i'm stable.
so why other people's inability to stablize themselves, or make themselves happy becomes my problem, or why i desire to change that, i have no idea.

i cannot believe it's almost march
where do the months go?