and i cant take it, and i cant shake it, no..
School is goin well, i guess. NOT doin a sorority, and im still workin out what im gunna do as far as transferring and changing my major. theres one thing for sure, and that is that im not unhappy with the amount of parties and beer around here. I cant believe its october already. wtf happened to september?? and im addicted to spending money. i dunno, but all i can say is that im definitely working during winter break and shit. I NEED THE EXTRA DOUGH. boys. hmm boys..... there are a few around here that are cool as shit. i love chris, my buddy, and then theres andy and this dude ryan, and i feel like i keep meeting all these people. its kinda nice. but i still dont feel like i belong here. everyone kinda has their little groups of friends, and i just cant seem to find mine. jess, erica and taylor are already good friends, and i feel bad always tagging along for everything. and then theres my friends from classes, bethany, danielle, heather, and this girl named kristen, but we dont hang out outside of class and kristen commutes. then theres angela and becca, etc, but they even seem to have their own group, and im just some girl that they hang out with sometimes... and another thing-- half the guys around here have girlfriends, either at home or here at school. then theres my guy friends from home, but i dont wanna have to rely on them coming to visit me all the time, cause it never happens. especially john. im gettin really pissed at him, he never seems to call me anymore and things have REALLY changed between us. we're not as close, and it sucks cuz all summer i totally thought if there was one friendship that would not change at all when i was away at school, it would be ours. but no, of course nothing stays the same. even with aly and kim, who i completely love to death act different sometimes. i just wish that things were back to the way they were this summer. WHERES THE REWIND BUTTON??? i just cant seem to find it. this summer was amazing, except for two aspects of it, which will go unmentioned and unnamed, but they were so minor it didnt really matter. i feel like every day i can add another reason for my wanting to transfer to the list. seriously, todays is so i can get a fresh start. cause i think, somehow, i fucked up already here. i dunno how! but i feel like i did. i guess im just so used to knowing everyone at home, and i never really had to make new friends! or at least completely on my own. wow look at me complain. jeez i need to get a life.
tomorrow is the first home football game, and im hoping they win so we can go party afterwards. im goin with ron, my RA, who is cool as shit. ryan, who is in the band, told me to walk by and say hi at the game, so im definitely going to do that. if theres on person i wanna NOT fuck things up with, it would be either him or chris. he's hot, and chris is a great friend. I think this is the first whole weekend im spending here at school since school started. wow. i wonder what im gunna do during the day tomorrow? do homework? haha probably since im such a loser. but homecoming is next weekend, so that should be hot too.
theres one more thing that im really looking forward to, and thats FALL BREAK!! aly's fall break starts WEDNESDAY NIGHT!!! yay!! shes staying at nicks new apartment wed. night, and then coming to visit me THURSDAY! YES! and we're gunna go out thursty thursday style. mm im so excited to show her how we do it dub chedda style. hahaha petey! and then the 16th of oct. KIM IS COMING HOME. im just so excited to see my girls, and hopefully my prep guys will come home sometime soon... i'll be coming home soon and i really hope i get to see em! beno, jj, spigs, clancy, (obviously) dimagg & petey... idk just everybody! should be an interesting 2 or 3 weeks.. and i wanna see anstany and giersch and j-bud, u know, all those people.
ok, im off to bed. and yes, its only 1:30. and yes, im a loser.