Crappy Day....
...My day was going okay...until I found out I was going to be in the banquet kitchen for a thrid week...oh fucken joy...I can't wait...I am being completely and totally sarcastic...I was going to tell Brian myself...but John beat me to the punch...which made it all worse...Brian is a very private person and he likes to get his work done and doesn't like tension at all...he hates it...and people know that we are kind of seeing each other...and all they do is bust him up about it...and he hates it a lot...and it makes me feel like I did something wrong even though I know I didn't...but I can't help feeling that way...and I know he doesn't mean to get so defensive...but it starts to bother me...like again...I feel like it is my fault...but I can't control it...I can't tell my supervisor no...I mean...I would get in big trouble...I think I am going to try and talk to him kindly about it...and see what he has to say about it...because...it isn't just the Brian thing that starts to get to me...it is the Banquet thing in all honesty...I don't like them...I don't like a lot of people at once...and I don't like people watching over my shoulder every ten seconds...I don't have any sense of independence...and for once in my life I am trying to take something slow and try and make it work...but it isn't going as well as planned... I need to go run a lap, scream really loudly, have a drink, or a cigarette...I HATE BANQUETS