(no subject)
So i went to put the deposit on my apartment today. It's exciting but scary at the same time. This is a major change in my life, and of course i'm nervous about it, but I'm also soooo excited. I've never lived by myself and I only had my own room for maybe 8 months out of my entire life. I've become so accustomed to someone sleeping in the same room as me, I'm worried about how it will feel to not have that. I know I have a lot of friends that will stay with me. But a lot of them will be going to college in the fall. But maybe by that time I'll be used to having my own place. I think it will be good for me. I never have my own space to just... be me. To have my privacy. To focus on finding out who I am. And hopefully it will bring me closer to that certain someone. I hope. And if it doesn't? C'est la vie. What can I do. It is what it is. But I can hope for things right? I also hope that this will bring me closer to Neen. Since we can go there together and hang out, and have things be normal. She can stay with me a lot.
I need to get back to reading my book. Things have been so hectic lately I just can't seem to get into it. My thoughts drift into, well maybe I should be looking at things for the apartment. Or planning my budget, or sleeping. I sleep an awful lot. Work wears me out, even though I don't do -too- much... it's still a really long day. I also don't eat enough at all. Which I think is why I'm so tired. I need to go see that nutritionist. I think that will help a lot.
I just hope that things work out the way I want them to. But I should know better than anyone that they never ever ever do. Usually it's for a good reason though, so I have to keep that in mind. I'm trying to be optimistic about everything that is going on right now though, because I really do feel like it is what I want. and I'm a fighter for things that I want.
July 13, 2006 : "...but with goodbyes, there must be hellos. And thus, brought on of the best people into my life. Someone so wonderful that I still find it unbelievable that he actually exists. It's amazing how one person can cause such a difference in your life. 'Maybe this will be the one that will save me.'"
and he was. I dont know if he knows that or not. but he was... and that is a huge thing for me, because i've never been able to find that in anybody... no one made me feel as safe and as comfortable in my life. and if you know me, i've dated a lot of people in my life time. haha.
If things are meant to be... they will, right?
Enough of that. I'm psyched for school next semester. I'm going to be taking classes that i actually WANT to take. I am going to be exhausted though. But I will have an apartment to come home and crash at. Which will be really nice.
I dunno, I'm just rambling. So I'm gunna go find something to do... or take a nap. hmmm.
I need to get back to reading my book. Things have been so hectic lately I just can't seem to get into it. My thoughts drift into, well maybe I should be looking at things for the apartment. Or planning my budget, or sleeping. I sleep an awful lot. Work wears me out, even though I don't do -too- much... it's still a really long day. I also don't eat enough at all. Which I think is why I'm so tired. I need to go see that nutritionist. I think that will help a lot.
I just hope that things work out the way I want them to. But I should know better than anyone that they never ever ever do. Usually it's for a good reason though, so I have to keep that in mind. I'm trying to be optimistic about everything that is going on right now though, because I really do feel like it is what I want. and I'm a fighter for things that I want.
July 13, 2006 : "...but with goodbyes, there must be hellos. And thus, brought on of the best people into my life. Someone so wonderful that I still find it unbelievable that he actually exists. It's amazing how one person can cause such a difference in your life. 'Maybe this will be the one that will save me.'"
and he was. I dont know if he knows that or not. but he was... and that is a huge thing for me, because i've never been able to find that in anybody... no one made me feel as safe and as comfortable in my life. and if you know me, i've dated a lot of people in my life time. haha.
If things are meant to be... they will, right?
Enough of that. I'm psyched for school next semester. I'm going to be taking classes that i actually WANT to take. I am going to be exhausted though. But I will have an apartment to come home and crash at. Which will be really nice.
I dunno, I'm just rambling. So I'm gunna go find something to do... or take a nap. hmmm.