FIC: Diamond Store Halo (Ten / Rose) PG-13
Title: Diamond Store Halo
Author: Jess
Character / Pairing: Ten/Rose, Future Doctor and Future Companion of my own devise
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~ 7000
Disclaimer: BBC blah blah blah. I'm broke, and if I had the Doctor at my disposal, I would not be writing about him.
Spoilers: Just through "Doomsday"
Summary: Rose is miserable in her new world. When she gets a shot at finding the Doctor again, will she let it consume the half-life she's leading? Or is it really the way out?
Author's Notes: I don't know about this; it seems a bit rambling and expository. Nevertheless, I hope you like it. Big, hearty thanks to my tireless beta, erin2326. She gave me these prompts: a red rubber ball, a lampshade, and a sterling silver letter opener and the curious curiosity shop was born. Thanks also to raynedanser for working her magic on my misplaced words, odd commas, and strange syntax.
XxX
"This is what you wanted to show me?" Rose asked, looking with distaste at the shop Mickey had dragged her to. The sign proclaimed it to be named Mary's Whirly World. At least, that's what Rose surmised the name to be, as the old gold paint had chipped and faded so much, the hand-lettered sign actually read "Mary' W ir y Wor d," and Mary Wiry Word just didn't make that much sense.
"Yeah," Mickey enthused, watching the shop with unrestrained excitement. "You'll love it, Rose. It's got loads of little things that..." he trailed off, seeming embarrassed.
Rose lifted her eyebrows expectantly.
"Jus' come on," he coaxed, pulling her inside by the hand.
The shop was dark, dusty, and decidedly dank, and it smelled like old rubber and unlaundered sheets. Rose wrinkled her nose and cast a disparaging look at Mickey. Of all his attempts at cheering her up since... well, since, this was his absolute worst.
The bright summer sun slanted through the dirty shop windows, catching dust motes and a few lazily buzzing flies in a suspended matrix but doing very little to actually light the place. The wares of the shop were arranged so it seemed as if they'd once been well-ordered but had been shaken all around like the contents of a snow globe, falling where they may to collect the settling dust as time wore on.
While Rose looked on in dismay, wondering how she would ever be able to muster enough false excitement to make Mickey think she was grateful, Mickey was bouncing off in every direction at once, picking things up, turning them over, opening boxes, and pointing out curiosities with as much energy as she'd ever seen him have. Rose smiled wearily.
Finally, she feigned interest in a stack of records, and Mickey wandered away to look at whatever was in an old trunk near the counter. Rose flicked idly through the albums, not really taking note of the covers or artists as she hadn't owned a record player since she was four. She had a passing notion that the Doctor would have enjoyed this shop, but she quickly corralled that and shoved it back to the large corner of her mind she tried not to dwell in when in public.
"Can I help you find something, Miss?"
Rose jumped right off her feet, startled by the nearness of a low,rasping voice.
Standing a few paces away was a woman so short and hunched, she seemed to be bent over at the middle. She was gazing up at Rose through a thick pair of glasses, but she still didn't seem to really see her due to the watery grey cataracts beginning to form over her large black eyes. However, when Rose looked up, the woman's eyes widened, and she stepped back. "You," she wheezed. "It can't be!"
Rose looked around for someone else the woman could be addressing, but of course, there was no one else in the shop save for Mickey who seemed busy testing out a set of hideous Russian nesting dolls. Rose resisted the urge to roll her eyes when he delightedly plucked a red rubber ball from inside the smallest of the dolls.
The old woman seized Rose's wrist, bringing her back to the moment. "Rose Tyler?"
Rose goggled at the woman, momentarily at a loss for words. "I..." she began.
"Come with me," she ordered, her words suddenly clipped and authoritative. "I can't believe... what is the date? June already? It is not... it is!"
"Er, how..." Rose started, but before she could finish her inquiry, the woman had turned and begun to drag her toward the counter.
Rose stopped short. "I, uh, I have a friend with me, and we..."
"No time," the woman came back shortly, tightening her grasp. "It must be now."
Rose tried to pull out of the woman's grasp, but she was amazingly strong despite her outward appearance. She shoved a key into a door behind the counter, turned, and pushed the door open with her hip, leading Rose through.
There, in a cluttered storeroom, behind a taxidermic leopard, a grandfather clock with a wax monkey for a pendulum, and dress mannequin wearing lampshade on its head, stood the TARDIS.
Rose slumped to the dirty, pock-marked floor.
XxX
Rose came to a few minutes later, though from the way her head throbbed, she wished she were still out. She struggled against the floor a moment, then pulled herself up, wincing at the pain that flashed behind her eyes.
She found the old woman watching her with an air of disdain.
"From all I heard of you, I rather expected you to be a little stouter of heart, Rose Tyler," she said haltingly. Rose could see a glimmer of the fantastic beauty she must have once been in that moment, the angle and line of her jaw and neck standing out despite her wrinkled skin, and her glassy eyes twinkling ever so slightly.
"I... uh..."
"And a little more eloquent, I must say," she added. "He talked about you as if you were the paragon of all femininity, virtue, and grace in the known universe." She sniffed, apprising Rose with a long glance. "You seem only a bit better than a ragamuffin child."
"Who are you?" Rose finally gasped.
The woman lifted her chin, and once more, Rose saw a flash of aristocratic mien. "I am the Condesa Mariela Sargonna Batilla." She said the words as though they were one very long word, and Rose, in her infinite wisdom, resisted the urge to laugh. The woman hunched lower again, "But you can call me Mary. Everyone does."
Rose stood, keeping one eye on the TARDIS in the corner. "And how do you know me?"
Mary gestured toward the TARDIS. "If you cannot figure that out, perhaps you are not the girl I thought you were."
"I... the Doctor?" she breathed.
Mary smiled at her then. "Yes, Rose Tyler, the Doctor. Now, have you any idea how to open that door? I've been trying for over forty years to no avail."
Rose closed her eyes for a moment. This was almost more than she could have hoped for. She opened them again and reached for the chain around her neck. She withdrew the TARDIS key from the place where it had lain next to her heart, warm in her palm, and as shiny as the day it had been given.
She crossed the room, sidestepped the mannequin, slipped into the small space behind the grandfather clock, and skirted the leopard's jaws. Holding her breath, she fitted her key into the lock and turned.
The TARDIS' door swung open soundlessly, and behind her, Rose heard Mary gasp. Not even bothering to turn, she stepped inside the ship.
It was almost the same as she'd last seen it, but the lights in the control room were dim and red, as though the ship was on its last bit of power reserves. She no longer heard the TARDIS' low pulse and murmur, and though she was loathe to think it, it seemed as though the ship was dead. Rose felt the air stir and knew Mary had joined her. Feeling somewhat reassured, she walked up the ramp until she reached the bridge.
There wasn't a speck of dust on anything, but the controls looked unused and forlorn. Rose's first instinct was to call out to the Doctor, but she didn't want to disturb the quiet sanctity of the ship, so she just laid a trembling hand on the control panel, overwhelmed with a feeling of loss so crushing, she nearly buckled under its weight.
At Rose's touch, something happened. Lights came up, washing the control room with gold, and though the hum and pulse did not return, Rose felt the ship respond to her.
"I'm here," she said softly, remembering how the Doctor used to murmur to it. A blush colored her cheeks when she realized Mary was watching her strangely, but she went on. "I can help."
There was a weary sort of buzz in the air, and then a man materialized out of thin air. Mary gave a shout of joy. "Doctor!"
The man wavered, blinked out, then reappeared. "Sorry 'bout that," he chirped to no one in particular. He looked around as though trying to gain his bearings then focused on a point somewhere over Rose's left shoulder.
"If you can see me, which you obviously can because I'm talking, and why would I be talking if you couldn't see me? Well, anyway, you can see me so that means I'm talking. Yes, right." The man grinned and seemed to look directly at Rose. "You might notice that I look a little bit different, but then, would you expect me to stay the same forever?" He tugged at the lapel of his waistcoat, a rather old fashioned looking affair with a watch chain hanging from one pocket. "I do expect that you did expect... er, that is to say, you probably did think I'd stay the same, just as you think you're the same. But you're not. But you are."
Rose gaped, and the man seemed to respond to her perplexity.
"Sorry. The point is, I'm the same Doctor, even though I'm not, and you're the same Rose, even though you're not. I'm your Doctor, and you're my Rose, so therefore," he lifted a long forefinger finger to punctuate his point, "We are the same. Only not."
"B-b-but," she sputtered.
He shook his head. "Now, Rose, you know well enough that I don't really exist right now, though I do. I mean, I exist somewhere in your now, but not here and now. That's the problem with time travel, really. It's very hard to choose a tense. So I do exist on this day in your parallel universe, and right now, I'm sure whatever I'm doing, I'm missing you, so stop fretting. Where was I? Oh yes. I don't exist. I'm a hologram and I cannot see you, nor can I hear you. So please don't interrupt."
Rose pulled a face.
"And don't make that face at me."
Rose blinked.
"So I came here, or rather, I've been here waiting for you to come here, so I could say a proper goodbye." He paused and seemed to take in a deep, noiseless breath. "I'm gone, Rose. That is to say, all of the I's are gone. Gone gone, in the biggest, most gone way there is. Ask Mary, she was there."
Rose looked at Mary who was now weeping openly.
"It seems as though I have died in the future past, and I did not regenerate." He paused a moment, seeming to consider. "Now, don't be upset. I lived for a long time after you did - after you will Rose, a lot longer than our forever could have ever been. Fifteen more reincarnations, and not once was I ginger. No justice, really." He seemed to sober for a moment, but then perked up. "But as you're the only person I know who was almost as close to the TARDIS as I am...was, I'm leaving her to you."
He waited a beat. Rose thought perhaps he was giving her time to thank him. She did nothing.
"Now, Rose, under no circumstances should you use whatever connection you still have with the TARDIS to find me. I don't wish for you to. No, wait, I demand that you do not. It'll screw up the time line and probably tear a hole in something or other. So don't, no matter what, under any circumstances come looking for me, Rose Tyler. Are we clear?"
Again, he paused, and again, Rose did nothing. By this point, she was so affected by the sight of the Doctor who was not her Doctor, she felt faint again. She would not faint though, not if she was to endure the ridicule of some countess who had obviously seen the Doctor die. Rose's heart seized up, and the Doctor pressed on.
"That said, I must add to what I started to tell you so long ago. Well," he clarified, "not so long ago to you, I guess. At any rate, what it was that you thought I was going to say to you? I won't say it now because it will sound odd coming from someone you think you don't know even though you really do know me, but what it was, you were right to think I was going to say it. And I meant it. I do feel that way... or well, I guess I did feel that way, as I am now past tense. Well, future tense for you, but past tense for me. Or future past tense because I am speaking from your physical past, but your eventual future. Oh, never mind. You don't care, do you?"
Tears had begun to slip down Rose's cheeks at the mention of their conversation at Dårlig ulv stranden, but she smiled tremulously. Even this version of her Doctor could go on so at the wrong moments in the most unusual and endearing way. The physical differences began to fall away, and in his charming smile and expressive face, she could see all versions of the Doctor.
"What I'm trying to tell you, Rose," he stopped, pulling in a large breath, "is that the old me, the intervening me's, and the current me, we all felt the same way about you then and now as you felt about the me's then and now. You understand?"
Rose nodded, though she knew he couldn't see her.
He grinned. "Right, good girl. Knew you would. You're quite brilliant." He turned a bit and seemed to look for Mary.
Mary sniffled and looked up. "Doctor?"
"Yes, Mary. You know I owe you a lot. My gratitude, undying or otherwise."
She snuffled loudly and nodded.
"You've done this first job very well and you know what you have to do now. Thank you, Mary." He turned back to Rose. "Goodbye, my Rose. Have a great life, okay?"
With that, the hologram disappeared with a quiet snick, like the sound of a door closing and locking for good.
Rose staggered backwards into the jump seat, collapsing into it and into herself. What she'd seen... well, honestly, she'd seen a lot stranger things, but this... this affected her. Her Doctor, no matter what he looked like, had come back to her. And he was gone. She swallowed hard. He was dead.
It was a horror she had never imagined. No matter how many times they'd been in mortal peril, she never once thought he might actually die. He was invincible, her Doctor, defying every sort of disaster, disease, and danger there was... even time. Especially time. And he was gone.
She started when she heard Mary's voice. Rose looked up. The old woman had straightened and seemed considerably taller. "I'm sorry, Rose Tyler." With that, she dropped Rose's TARDIS key between the grating on the floor. There was a flash of light from beneath their feet, and Rose watched as the key melted away.
Rose jumped out of the chair and fell to the ground on her hands and knees, searching for the key. It couldn't have gone, it just couldn't have! As she scrabbled for the key, she felt a peculiar sensation on the back of her neck then fell forward into blackness.
XxX
"Rose," a voice called. "Ro-ose, wake up!"
A humanoid figure swam into focus, its features indistinct. The voice seemed to issue from it.
"Doctor?" she asked thickly.
Though she couldn't see it, the figure seemed to wince. "No. It's me, Mickey."
Rose closed her eyes, and there was a strong aroma of herbal tea accompanied by warm steam just under her nose. She opened her eyes again and reached blindly for the mug.
"'m up," she mumbled, trying to scrape her way up from the bottom of what felt like a very deep, very dark well.
A sip of tea helped and she sat up the whole way.
She could see that she was in her bedroom in Pete's house, bundled under her comforter, and wearing her favorite flannel pajamas. She blinked rapidly, trying to remember how she'd gotten there. The last thing she remembered was the... the TARDIS! She started so suddenly, she sloshed hot tea over her hand.
"The TARDIS, Mickey!" she explained, ignoring the tea's hot sting.
"Yeah? What about it?" Rose could see he was wary of the subject, but she pressed on.
"It was at the curiosity shop! In the back room!"
He raised a querulous eyebrow. "Rose?"
"The old woman, Mary, she took me back, and I went inside it! The Doctor... well, he wasn't my Doctor, but he was... he told me not to find him. I have to though! Why else would he have given me the TARDIS if not to find him?" She threw off the comforter and started to climb out of bed.
Mickey caught her shoulders to stop her. He gave her a stone-faced look and said, "Rose, that was months ago that we went to that shop. Remember? You bought your mum that ugly sterling silver letter opener with the tuna handle? And I bought myself those bronzed baby booties?"
"Bronzed baby booties?" Rose asked, momentarily thrown. "I mean, what? Months? It was just this afternoon!" Rose glanced at the clock. It was ten of ten in the morning. "Or well, yesterday, I guess. How did I get home again?"
Mickey sat back on the bed, looking thoroughly perplexed. "You took the Tube, I s'pose. I mean, you always do, right?"
Rose opened her mouth to answer, but then glimpsed the window behind him. It was snowing.
XxX
Mary's Whirly World was shut down, boarded up, and very, very out of business, and the only answer Rose could get as to the contents of the shop were that a private investor had purchased the lot. Every search for Mary herself turned up a dead end. According to every available piece of literature Rose could find, Condesa Mariela Sargonna Batilla of Spain had disappeared in 1921 and was never heard from again. There was no record of any real person named Mary owning the curiosity shop; it was actually owned by an eccentric old widow from Worcester named Trudy Turley,and run into the ground by her great-grandnephew, Telly.
For weeks after, Rose sunk into a malaise to rival what she'd felt after the meeting at Dårlig ulv stranden. Not only was she mourning the Doctor all over again, she also couldn't account for close to six months of her life. Shortly before Christmas, she quit her job and took to staying in her bedroom for long stretches, only emerging to eat and bathe. She lived a half-life, glancing off the rest of her family like a stranger in a house full of unfamiliar faces.
Jackie, Pete, and Mickey were worried, naturally, but two of them had a new baby to occupy them, so Rose's personal problems fell by the wayside, and the infrequent mention of it over meals were only Jackie's very vocal fears that Rose would die an old maid and she'd never have any grandchildren. Mickey did the most work to get Rose out and away from the house, taking her to museums, ice skating, and even to the ballet once. Rose knew she should have appreciated his efforts more, but she just couldn't bring herself to care.
One day, in the early spring, he took her to the small hamlet of Knutsbury. Mickey's interest in Knutsbury was that it was the birthplace of Bradford Wilkins, a professional football star in his own right. Wilkins was the only player ever to make over seven hundred thousand pounds per year and never actually play in a match. It was a clear indication that Mickey had nearly exhausted his copy of Things to Do In and Around London Without Spending a Quid, but Rose went along without complaint.
Knutsbury was a pleasant place, probably a great place to raise children and have picnics and block parties if that was one's thing. The attraction it held for Rose, however, was not the charmingly narrow brick roads, nor the overflow of flowers and brilliant green patches of grass, nor the whimsical, hand hewn sign proclaiming Knutsbury to be "Home of the Most Famous Layabout in Britain," it was the blue wooden box standing conspicuously in the town square.
Not wishing to have another row with Mickey over the grounds they'd trodden over time and time again, she excused herself from the Bradford Wilkins Museum tour, claiming a need for fresh air. He went on alone, and Rose walked to the square.
Her heart pounded as she climbed the wide steps to the garden surrounding the box, and as she drew closer, she could see the words "Police Public Call Box" near the roof of the structure, just as she knew they'd be there. Almost afraid of being disappointed, she circled the thing slowly, examining it from every angle. It certainly looked like the TARDIS, but then, what were the chances it would turn up in some sleepy little village in Hampshire?
Rose swallowed hard and finally stopped in front of the box, leaning forward to lay her hand on the smooth service. In doing so, she nearly upset a recently erected plaque set into the ground in front of the door. It was hand carved wood and proclaimed the box to be a "Police Box, Formerly of London, 1953 - 1964." Below that, the sign read: "Generously and Anonymously Donated to the Hamlet of Knutsbury, June 2007."
"Nice, isn't it? Rather peculiar for such a small place to have, but interesting," a gruff voice said.
Rose turned around. An older gentleman was beaming at the police box with an air of pride. He lowered his smile to her. "There were objections at the council against it. You see, some people didn't want something associated with the Metro Police in our small square, but many of us thought such a passing piece of British history would be at home somewhere as old and rich in tradition as Knutsbury. Don't you agree?"
"It's mine." Before she could stop herself, the words were out of her mouth.
The cheerful man's grin dimmed momentarily. "I think, young miss, you'll find it's mine, or rather, property of the Historical Preservation Society of Knutsbury."
Rose nodded. "Of course, right. My mouth gets away from me sometimes." That seemed to warm him up again, and Rose went on, "Say, I couldn't see inside, could I?"
The man shook his head. "No, ma'am. No one can. We've had master locksmiths from as far as London, but we can't crack it without causing structural damage." He waved his hand. "But it makes no difference, really. Why would you want to go inside a police box that you can't call from?"
"Right. Exactly." Rose turned back to the box, and laid her hand on the door. When she was sure the man had gone, she murmured, "I've come for you, and we're going to find him together."
She was certain she heard a faint, delighted hum from inside the box.
XxX
That night, over a late supper after the baby had been put to bed, Rose pleaded her case to her mum and Pete.
"Rose, this is ludicrous," Pete objected for the fifteenth time. "It's just a box."
"It's not, though, is it? You know it's not!"
Jackie looked helplessly between her husband and her daughter, wanting to side with Rose, but hearing the sense in Pete's words.
"I think we've all put up with this enough..." Pete began.
Rose cut across him. "You've not put up with anything."
Their long-coming argument began to escalate, and the volley of words shot back and forth like gunfire.
"It's been a year! You almost..."
"You should have left me with him! You should have left me..."
"To die, Rose? You'd rather be..."
"Dead. I'd rather be dead than put up with this half-life, this charade..."
"Your mother and I love you, and so does Christina. Can't you see we just want what's..."
"What's best for me is to never have been born at all!"
"Stop it!" Jackie shouted. "Just shut up, the both of you!"
Stunned, they both closed their mouths and turned toward her.
Jackie reached across the coffee table and laid a hand on Rose's tear-stained cheek. "Darling, leave us for a minute, okay?"
"But, mum, I..."
"Rose, go," she repeated firmly.
Rose bit back a retort and stood, shooting Pete an icy glare on the way.
She listened through the door, but their voices were too low to make out a single word. When the door opened, Pete was standing there. "We'll bring it here," he said simply.
Rose rushed to embrace him, and both issued apologies through their tears. The baby awoke then, and Rose went to tend to her sister for the first time since she'd been born.
XxX
Rose devoted most of her waking hours to breaking into the TARDIS. She knew it would be a tough job if even master locksmiths were confounded, but she thought the TARDIS would open for her eventually.
Usually, she sat staring at the blue box in the garage, empty save for every tool, key, and instrument she could think of using laying in a discarded heap of twisted, bruised metal on the floor. She tried talking to it, stroking it, even bringing it a cup of tea, but nothing worked. The TARDIS remained stubbornly silent and closed off.
Rose tried to rejoin her family as payment for Pete's concession to purchase the TARDIS from Knutsbury at an astronomical price, and they tried their best to live with the single-minded girl she'd become. Even Mickey, who had made the most of this new Rose backed off a little since she found the TARDIS. They all figured that at least with a purpose, even a hopeless one, Rose was better off than she had been just moping about.
Days turned into weeks, and by summer, the TARDIS still would not open. It had been a year to the day since Rose had met Mary and seen the inside of the TARDIS, and more than twice that since she'd last seen her Doctor. That morning in June, she woke to a low hanging red sun that set the cream colored walls of her bedroom on fire with orange light. It was humid and hot, but there was something about the sun that made her stomach flip, so she got up, slipped into her trainers, and went downstairs.
No one was awake yet, and Rose was hesitant to start banging on the TARDIS and waking her baby sister. Instead, she jogged across the dew-heavy lawn, down the wide drive, and headed for town.
Whenever Rose ran, which was growing more and more frequently as she found she had an overabundance of energy to burn, she cut through what would have been her old neighborhood in her universe. It was slightly cleaner than her old flats had been, with markedly fewer buildings covered in graffiti, but it was more sinister too, with the half torn down fences and barbed wire that remained from the Cybus Industries days.
Still, she felt a kinship with the place, running through the playground where she and Mickey had played as children, then first kissed as teenagers, and past the basketball court where she'd found those words written as large as life leading her back to the Doctor when he tried to send her away. In this world, though, there was no Bad Wolf to guide her, and the dim memory of whatever had happened to her on board the TARDIS to take her back to defeat the Daleks was merely a ghost, niggling at the back of her mind.
She made her way across the littered parking lot, and finally turned onto the wider avenue where Mickey had unlocked the TARDIS for her then. She knew no yellow truck would help her this time, and in fact, she wasn't sure Mickey would even do that for her again. He knew as well as she that if - when - she left, she was never coming back.
She pushed those thoughts aside and ran harder, pounding the pavement until her knees ached, and her thighs shook. She was dripping sweat, and finally, she stopped to catch her breath.
When she looked up, she saw that she was outside of the curiosity shop. The peeling letters looked a little fresher than they had, and the boards were gone from the door. Shaking both from the strain on her muscles and from the excitement of feeling nearer to the answers she sought, she laid her hand on the handle and stepped inside.
The shop looked exactly as it had the day the summer before. She heard a bell tinkle, and when she turned around, she saw Mickey enter the shop... and he was dragging her along behind him.
Rose ducked behind a life-sized wax figure of Benny Hill. From over his shoulder, she watched Mickey set toward the trunk and eagerly begin unpacking it, and she saw herself begin to flick through the records listlessly. Mary approached her and offered her assistance, and when she turned, she saw Mary jump back.
Rose followed when Mary grabbed the past her by the wrist and pulled her into the back room. She knew how this would unfold, and though she longed to go into the TARDIS to see the Doctor again, or maybe even steal her key from herself, she knew she hadn't done those things the first time, and it wouldn't be the right thing to do. Instead, she concealed herself behind a rusty suit of armor and waited.
The minutes passed slowly, but finally, Mary emerged from the TARDIS, supporting her slumped form under the arms rather indelicately. Rose could stand no more, so she stepped out into the open.
Mary looked up, clearly unsurprised. "Can you wait a minute while I put her back outside?"
Rose was puzzled. "I, uh..."
Mary lifted an eyebrow. "Still haven't really mastered language in a year, have you?" She shook her head disdainfully. "Hold on a moment now, will you?"
She shuffled past with Rose's lifeless form as Rose looked on, dumbfounded. A moment later, Mary reentered through the door. She gestured to pair of stacked chairs at a dusty table. "Care to right those so I can sit?"
Without thinking, Rose hurried to do as Mary bid her. Once they were both seated, facing each other across the table, Mary launched into her explanation without Rose having to ask.
"I haven't much time. The Doctor's speech went on rather a lot longer than I expected." She grinned. "But then, I suppose I should have known it would. He's a little long-winded, isn't he?" She didn't wait for Rose to answer. "Well, like he said, I was there when he died. I'm not allowed to tell you how or when, so don't ask. When I got back inside the TARDIS, his hologram instructed me to wait for you. For you," she fairly spat the word. "I was there, I held him while he..." she sighed, and waved her hand as if to dispel her rancor from the air around them.
"It doesn't matter anymore. It's been a long time. So I waited for you, and you know what happened next." She looked pointedly at the TARDIS. "Obviously, you haven't given up on him or the ship, or you wouldn't be here now." She wrinkled her nose. "I think I dosed you rather too heavily with that amnesiotic fluid, but no bother. He asked for one year, and I suppose you've given it." Mary reached into her shawl and withdrew a long chain. On the end of it, the TARDIS key sparkled and shone despite the low light.
Rose gasped and reached out for it. For a moment, Mary looked reluctant to hand it over, but then seemed to think again and clasped Rose's hands, pressing the warm key into them.
"Vaya con Dios, Rose Tyler," she choked out, tears running down her weathered cheeks. "And when you get there, tell him I loved him too. Please."
Rose could only nod as her throat was now thick with emotion.
"Go now," she said. "I'm not going to be here much longer."
Rose had a million questions, and she opened her mouth to speak, but the woman shoved Rose's hands away and shouted, "Go!"
XxX
She smelled bacon frying in the kitchen as she raced up to the house, TARDIS key in hand. The scent made her stomach growl, and for a moment, she was torn between getting back to the Doctor as quickly as she could, and saying goodbye.
She stood on the lawn, waffling, clutching the key to her heaving breast. When she saw her mother in the window, cuddling Christina close, and whispering love words to her, her choice was made. Rose would never be able to say goodbye.
She opened the garage, half-scared the TARDIS would have left without her, but it was still there, still stubbornly locked against her. She crossed the room slowly, and with a jagged breath, guided the key into the lock. It turned.
Without a sound, Rose slipped inside the darkened ship and closed the door behind her. She walked up to the console and laid her hand gently on the controls, and the TARDIS responded with a welcoming hum. The center column seemed to come to life before her eyes, and the console room lit with a warm yellow light.
"We're going back to him," she said simply. She took a deep breath and studied the controls. Though she'd seen the Doctor pilot the ship more times than she could remember, he never seemed to do the same thing twice, and she was at a loss as to where she should begin.
She touched the monitor and it flickered on, showing her several lines in what appeared to be a few different languages. That was of no use, so she laid her hand on what she hoped was the handbrake. She disengaged it, and the TARDIS responded with a loud thump, and then the distinctive guttural whir of the engines filled her ears.
Rose laughed out loud as the engines roared louder and the time rotor in the center column vibrated, then pulsed up and down. She closed her eyes and let whatever had guided her the first time take hold. There was a hum in her veins, and she felt her blood go cold and pump through her heart, warm up, then push into her lungs, then out and everywhere. She was living and breathing the heart of the TARDIS again, and the memory of the first time came back strong, rushing at her from all sides, and filling her with boundless energy and profound peace at the same time. Her body tingled with the rich power of whatever the TARDIS was doing to her, and she moved around the console as though she'd been doing it all of her life, turning knobs, pressing buttons, cranking handles, and holding on as the ship lurched and faded away.
Almost as soon as it had begun, the engines slowed, then stopped altogether. She had landed.
She exhaled slowly, feeling the powerful warmth escape her lungs, abandon her veins, and for a moment, she felt horribly alone. Shaking off the feeling, she raced to the door and opened it.
Rose found herself in the garage. She hadn't gone anywhere. Anxiety gripped her; what if she never found the Doctor? She'd been so certain...
She stepped out of the TARDIS, feeling even more miserable than she ever had. Her last chance was a failure. The Doctor hadn't wanted her to find him after all.
She staggered out the door and onto the lawn. Down the yard, she could see her family sitting around a table on one of the patios; they must have decided to take breakfast outside. Not wishing to see them, Rose headed for the house.
There was a young man rooting through the refrigerator in the kitchen. She desperately hoped it wasn't someone her mum wished to fix her up with, and as she tugged a banana from the bunch on the counter, she said, "It won't work out between us, so you may as well get your canapés to go."
The man whirled around, and dropped the carton of milk in his hand. "Hey! Who are you?"
Rose peeled the banana, leaning against the sink nonchalantly. "Undoubtedly your reward for sucking up to my dad. It isn't worth it, really. So nice to meet you, kindly get out."
The man called over his shoulder, "Hey, Paul! There's some bird in the kitchen. You let 'er in?"
The man Rose assumed to be Paul lumbered in, filling the doorway. Rose's eyes widened. "What's going on here? Why are you people in my house?" She backed toward the door. "I'm getting my dad, and when he gets up here, you'd better be gone."
The man who'd dropped his milk eyed Rose, "What do you mean, your house? This is my house!"
Rose blinked as realization dawned on her. She grinned. "You mean, this isn't Pete Tyler's house?"
Paul spoke up, "Who's Pete Tyler, lady?"
Rose laughed and held the banana aloft. "Thanks for breakfast, guys. I've got to go."
She turned and pushed through the door and ran down the lawn past the startled family who was not hers with a whoop of joy.
She streaked down the drive and toward Powell Estates. As she grew closer, the landscape grew ever more weedy and littered, and Rose gloried in the familiarity. Passing through the playground, she shrieked with glee over the graffiti on the sides of buildings, the detritus of city living swept into piles along the curbs, the mangled old Peugeot wagon on blocks in the middle of an empty field. She was home.
But where to go, where to begin her search, where... she almost collided with a man on the corner as the questions whirled through her head. "Sorry," she murmured, disengaging herself from him, and...
"Rose!"
She looked up, and beaming down at her, a look of complete shock making his dark brown eyes boggle, was the Doctor. Her Doctor.
She threw her arms around him. "Doctor, I've found you!"
He gathered her close and lifted her easily. "Yes, you have. But where...?" He buried his face in her hair, and the rest of his question was lost.
She pulled away, but only enough to look up at his smiling face. "Oh, God, I've missed you."
"Me too."
"You told me not to look for you, but I did."
His grin broadened, "Of course you did." He set her away from him, but still clung to her. "Well, I wouldn't have told you not to look for me if I didn't expect you to not listen." He paused, seemed to recount the negatives, and seeming satisfied, he beamed at her. "You never listen to me, and anyway, wanting to do something is much more important than knowing how to do it. You didn't know how to fly the TARDIS, and you had to want to do it to really make it work. I'm sure my future self knew that, so he forbade you to do, because knowing you as I... and he... as we do, we knew you'd want it even more if we told you not to." He nodded succinctly.
She laughed. "You're right; I'm not sorry."
"I'm not either."
They stared at each other for a long moment, grinning madly, and each taking the other in.
The Doctor dropped his hand to take Rose's, and he began to lead her away from the site of their reunion. "I'm not sure I really want to know, but of course I really do want to know." He paused and glanced sidelong at her. "How did you get here? Are there new holes in the fabric of space-time that require my expert stitching?"
"Probably. Maybe one or two. And there is the little matter of my TARDIS that is currently parked in a garage that is very much not mine."
The Doctor stopped in his tracks. "Your TARDIS?"
Rose squeezed his hand reassuringly. "It's kind of a long story. I'll tell you about it sometime."
For once, he seemed entirely at a loss for words. Rose laughed, and he joined her, and hand in hand, they walked down the street happy to be together again at long last.
XxX
I found a beta at fandom_betas! Why don't you?
Author: Jess
Character / Pairing: Ten/Rose, Future Doctor and Future Companion of my own devise
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~ 7000
Disclaimer: BBC blah blah blah. I'm broke, and if I had the Doctor at my disposal, I would not be writing about him.
Spoilers: Just through "Doomsday"
Summary: Rose is miserable in her new world. When she gets a shot at finding the Doctor again, will she let it consume the half-life she's leading? Or is it really the way out?
Author's Notes: I don't know about this; it seems a bit rambling and expository. Nevertheless, I hope you like it. Big, hearty thanks to my tireless beta, erin2326. She gave me these prompts: a red rubber ball, a lampshade, and a sterling silver letter opener and the curious curiosity shop was born. Thanks also to raynedanser for working her magic on my misplaced words, odd commas, and strange syntax.
XxX
"This is what you wanted to show me?" Rose asked, looking with distaste at the shop Mickey had dragged her to. The sign proclaimed it to be named Mary's Whirly World. At least, that's what Rose surmised the name to be, as the old gold paint had chipped and faded so much, the hand-lettered sign actually read "Mary' W ir y Wor d," and Mary Wiry Word just didn't make that much sense.
"Yeah," Mickey enthused, watching the shop with unrestrained excitement. "You'll love it, Rose. It's got loads of little things that..." he trailed off, seeming embarrassed.
Rose lifted her eyebrows expectantly.
"Jus' come on," he coaxed, pulling her inside by the hand.
The shop was dark, dusty, and decidedly dank, and it smelled like old rubber and unlaundered sheets. Rose wrinkled her nose and cast a disparaging look at Mickey. Of all his attempts at cheering her up since... well, since, this was his absolute worst.
The bright summer sun slanted through the dirty shop windows, catching dust motes and a few lazily buzzing flies in a suspended matrix but doing very little to actually light the place. The wares of the shop were arranged so it seemed as if they'd once been well-ordered but had been shaken all around like the contents of a snow globe, falling where they may to collect the settling dust as time wore on.
While Rose looked on in dismay, wondering how she would ever be able to muster enough false excitement to make Mickey think she was grateful, Mickey was bouncing off in every direction at once, picking things up, turning them over, opening boxes, and pointing out curiosities with as much energy as she'd ever seen him have. Rose smiled wearily.
Finally, she feigned interest in a stack of records, and Mickey wandered away to look at whatever was in an old trunk near the counter. Rose flicked idly through the albums, not really taking note of the covers or artists as she hadn't owned a record player since she was four. She had a passing notion that the Doctor would have enjoyed this shop, but she quickly corralled that and shoved it back to the large corner of her mind she tried not to dwell in when in public.
"Can I help you find something, Miss?"
Rose jumped right off her feet, startled by the nearness of a low,rasping voice.
Standing a few paces away was a woman so short and hunched, she seemed to be bent over at the middle. She was gazing up at Rose through a thick pair of glasses, but she still didn't seem to really see her due to the watery grey cataracts beginning to form over her large black eyes. However, when Rose looked up, the woman's eyes widened, and she stepped back. "You," she wheezed. "It can't be!"
Rose looked around for someone else the woman could be addressing, but of course, there was no one else in the shop save for Mickey who seemed busy testing out a set of hideous Russian nesting dolls. Rose resisted the urge to roll her eyes when he delightedly plucked a red rubber ball from inside the smallest of the dolls.
The old woman seized Rose's wrist, bringing her back to the moment. "Rose Tyler?"
Rose goggled at the woman, momentarily at a loss for words. "I..." she began.
"Come with me," she ordered, her words suddenly clipped and authoritative. "I can't believe... what is the date? June already? It is not... it is!"
"Er, how..." Rose started, but before she could finish her inquiry, the woman had turned and begun to drag her toward the counter.
Rose stopped short. "I, uh, I have a friend with me, and we..."
"No time," the woman came back shortly, tightening her grasp. "It must be now."
Rose tried to pull out of the woman's grasp, but she was amazingly strong despite her outward appearance. She shoved a key into a door behind the counter, turned, and pushed the door open with her hip, leading Rose through.
There, in a cluttered storeroom, behind a taxidermic leopard, a grandfather clock with a wax monkey for a pendulum, and dress mannequin wearing lampshade on its head, stood the TARDIS.
Rose slumped to the dirty, pock-marked floor.
XxX
Rose came to a few minutes later, though from the way her head throbbed, she wished she were still out. She struggled against the floor a moment, then pulled herself up, wincing at the pain that flashed behind her eyes.
She found the old woman watching her with an air of disdain.
"From all I heard of you, I rather expected you to be a little stouter of heart, Rose Tyler," she said haltingly. Rose could see a glimmer of the fantastic beauty she must have once been in that moment, the angle and line of her jaw and neck standing out despite her wrinkled skin, and her glassy eyes twinkling ever so slightly.
"I... uh..."
"And a little more eloquent, I must say," she added. "He talked about you as if you were the paragon of all femininity, virtue, and grace in the known universe." She sniffed, apprising Rose with a long glance. "You seem only a bit better than a ragamuffin child."
"Who are you?" Rose finally gasped.
The woman lifted her chin, and once more, Rose saw a flash of aristocratic mien. "I am the Condesa Mariela Sargonna Batilla." She said the words as though they were one very long word, and Rose, in her infinite wisdom, resisted the urge to laugh. The woman hunched lower again, "But you can call me Mary. Everyone does."
Rose stood, keeping one eye on the TARDIS in the corner. "And how do you know me?"
Mary gestured toward the TARDIS. "If you cannot figure that out, perhaps you are not the girl I thought you were."
"I... the Doctor?" she breathed.
Mary smiled at her then. "Yes, Rose Tyler, the Doctor. Now, have you any idea how to open that door? I've been trying for over forty years to no avail."
Rose closed her eyes for a moment. This was almost more than she could have hoped for. She opened them again and reached for the chain around her neck. She withdrew the TARDIS key from the place where it had lain next to her heart, warm in her palm, and as shiny as the day it had been given.
She crossed the room, sidestepped the mannequin, slipped into the small space behind the grandfather clock, and skirted the leopard's jaws. Holding her breath, she fitted her key into the lock and turned.
The TARDIS' door swung open soundlessly, and behind her, Rose heard Mary gasp. Not even bothering to turn, she stepped inside the ship.
It was almost the same as she'd last seen it, but the lights in the control room were dim and red, as though the ship was on its last bit of power reserves. She no longer heard the TARDIS' low pulse and murmur, and though she was loathe to think it, it seemed as though the ship was dead. Rose felt the air stir and knew Mary had joined her. Feeling somewhat reassured, she walked up the ramp until she reached the bridge.
There wasn't a speck of dust on anything, but the controls looked unused and forlorn. Rose's first instinct was to call out to the Doctor, but she didn't want to disturb the quiet sanctity of the ship, so she just laid a trembling hand on the control panel, overwhelmed with a feeling of loss so crushing, she nearly buckled under its weight.
At Rose's touch, something happened. Lights came up, washing the control room with gold, and though the hum and pulse did not return, Rose felt the ship respond to her.
"I'm here," she said softly, remembering how the Doctor used to murmur to it. A blush colored her cheeks when she realized Mary was watching her strangely, but she went on. "I can help."
There was a weary sort of buzz in the air, and then a man materialized out of thin air. Mary gave a shout of joy. "Doctor!"
The man wavered, blinked out, then reappeared. "Sorry 'bout that," he chirped to no one in particular. He looked around as though trying to gain his bearings then focused on a point somewhere over Rose's left shoulder.
"If you can see me, which you obviously can because I'm talking, and why would I be talking if you couldn't see me? Well, anyway, you can see me so that means I'm talking. Yes, right." The man grinned and seemed to look directly at Rose. "You might notice that I look a little bit different, but then, would you expect me to stay the same forever?" He tugged at the lapel of his waistcoat, a rather old fashioned looking affair with a watch chain hanging from one pocket. "I do expect that you did expect... er, that is to say, you probably did think I'd stay the same, just as you think you're the same. But you're not. But you are."
Rose gaped, and the man seemed to respond to her perplexity.
"Sorry. The point is, I'm the same Doctor, even though I'm not, and you're the same Rose, even though you're not. I'm your Doctor, and you're my Rose, so therefore," he lifted a long forefinger finger to punctuate his point, "We are the same. Only not."
"B-b-but," she sputtered.
He shook his head. "Now, Rose, you know well enough that I don't really exist right now, though I do. I mean, I exist somewhere in your now, but not here and now. That's the problem with time travel, really. It's very hard to choose a tense. So I do exist on this day in your parallel universe, and right now, I'm sure whatever I'm doing, I'm missing you, so stop fretting. Where was I? Oh yes. I don't exist. I'm a hologram and I cannot see you, nor can I hear you. So please don't interrupt."
Rose pulled a face.
"And don't make that face at me."
Rose blinked.
"So I came here, or rather, I've been here waiting for you to come here, so I could say a proper goodbye." He paused and seemed to take in a deep, noiseless breath. "I'm gone, Rose. That is to say, all of the I's are gone. Gone gone, in the biggest, most gone way there is. Ask Mary, she was there."
Rose looked at Mary who was now weeping openly.
"It seems as though I have died in the future past, and I did not regenerate." He paused a moment, seeming to consider. "Now, don't be upset. I lived for a long time after you did - after you will Rose, a lot longer than our forever could have ever been. Fifteen more reincarnations, and not once was I ginger. No justice, really." He seemed to sober for a moment, but then perked up. "But as you're the only person I know who was almost as close to the TARDIS as I am...was, I'm leaving her to you."
He waited a beat. Rose thought perhaps he was giving her time to thank him. She did nothing.
"Now, Rose, under no circumstances should you use whatever connection you still have with the TARDIS to find me. I don't wish for you to. No, wait, I demand that you do not. It'll screw up the time line and probably tear a hole in something or other. So don't, no matter what, under any circumstances come looking for me, Rose Tyler. Are we clear?"
Again, he paused, and again, Rose did nothing. By this point, she was so affected by the sight of the Doctor who was not her Doctor, she felt faint again. She would not faint though, not if she was to endure the ridicule of some countess who had obviously seen the Doctor die. Rose's heart seized up, and the Doctor pressed on.
"That said, I must add to what I started to tell you so long ago. Well," he clarified, "not so long ago to you, I guess. At any rate, what it was that you thought I was going to say to you? I won't say it now because it will sound odd coming from someone you think you don't know even though you really do know me, but what it was, you were right to think I was going to say it. And I meant it. I do feel that way... or well, I guess I did feel that way, as I am now past tense. Well, future tense for you, but past tense for me. Or future past tense because I am speaking from your physical past, but your eventual future. Oh, never mind. You don't care, do you?"
Tears had begun to slip down Rose's cheeks at the mention of their conversation at Dårlig ulv stranden, but she smiled tremulously. Even this version of her Doctor could go on so at the wrong moments in the most unusual and endearing way. The physical differences began to fall away, and in his charming smile and expressive face, she could see all versions of the Doctor.
"What I'm trying to tell you, Rose," he stopped, pulling in a large breath, "is that the old me, the intervening me's, and the current me, we all felt the same way about you then and now as you felt about the me's then and now. You understand?"
Rose nodded, though she knew he couldn't see her.
He grinned. "Right, good girl. Knew you would. You're quite brilliant." He turned a bit and seemed to look for Mary.
Mary sniffled and looked up. "Doctor?"
"Yes, Mary. You know I owe you a lot. My gratitude, undying or otherwise."
She snuffled loudly and nodded.
"You've done this first job very well and you know what you have to do now. Thank you, Mary." He turned back to Rose. "Goodbye, my Rose. Have a great life, okay?"
With that, the hologram disappeared with a quiet snick, like the sound of a door closing and locking for good.
Rose staggered backwards into the jump seat, collapsing into it and into herself. What she'd seen... well, honestly, she'd seen a lot stranger things, but this... this affected her. Her Doctor, no matter what he looked like, had come back to her. And he was gone. She swallowed hard. He was dead.
It was a horror she had never imagined. No matter how many times they'd been in mortal peril, she never once thought he might actually die. He was invincible, her Doctor, defying every sort of disaster, disease, and danger there was... even time. Especially time. And he was gone.
She started when she heard Mary's voice. Rose looked up. The old woman had straightened and seemed considerably taller. "I'm sorry, Rose Tyler." With that, she dropped Rose's TARDIS key between the grating on the floor. There was a flash of light from beneath their feet, and Rose watched as the key melted away.
Rose jumped out of the chair and fell to the ground on her hands and knees, searching for the key. It couldn't have gone, it just couldn't have! As she scrabbled for the key, she felt a peculiar sensation on the back of her neck then fell forward into blackness.
XxX
"Rose," a voice called. "Ro-ose, wake up!"
A humanoid figure swam into focus, its features indistinct. The voice seemed to issue from it.
"Doctor?" she asked thickly.
Though she couldn't see it, the figure seemed to wince. "No. It's me, Mickey."
Rose closed her eyes, and there was a strong aroma of herbal tea accompanied by warm steam just under her nose. She opened her eyes again and reached blindly for the mug.
"'m up," she mumbled, trying to scrape her way up from the bottom of what felt like a very deep, very dark well.
A sip of tea helped and she sat up the whole way.
She could see that she was in her bedroom in Pete's house, bundled under her comforter, and wearing her favorite flannel pajamas. She blinked rapidly, trying to remember how she'd gotten there. The last thing she remembered was the... the TARDIS! She started so suddenly, she sloshed hot tea over her hand.
"The TARDIS, Mickey!" she explained, ignoring the tea's hot sting.
"Yeah? What about it?" Rose could see he was wary of the subject, but she pressed on.
"It was at the curiosity shop! In the back room!"
He raised a querulous eyebrow. "Rose?"
"The old woman, Mary, she took me back, and I went inside it! The Doctor... well, he wasn't my Doctor, but he was... he told me not to find him. I have to though! Why else would he have given me the TARDIS if not to find him?" She threw off the comforter and started to climb out of bed.
Mickey caught her shoulders to stop her. He gave her a stone-faced look and said, "Rose, that was months ago that we went to that shop. Remember? You bought your mum that ugly sterling silver letter opener with the tuna handle? And I bought myself those bronzed baby booties?"
"Bronzed baby booties?" Rose asked, momentarily thrown. "I mean, what? Months? It was just this afternoon!" Rose glanced at the clock. It was ten of ten in the morning. "Or well, yesterday, I guess. How did I get home again?"
Mickey sat back on the bed, looking thoroughly perplexed. "You took the Tube, I s'pose. I mean, you always do, right?"
Rose opened her mouth to answer, but then glimpsed the window behind him. It was snowing.
XxX
Mary's Whirly World was shut down, boarded up, and very, very out of business, and the only answer Rose could get as to the contents of the shop were that a private investor had purchased the lot. Every search for Mary herself turned up a dead end. According to every available piece of literature Rose could find, Condesa Mariela Sargonna Batilla of Spain had disappeared in 1921 and was never heard from again. There was no record of any real person named Mary owning the curiosity shop; it was actually owned by an eccentric old widow from Worcester named Trudy Turley,and run into the ground by her great-grandnephew, Telly.
For weeks after, Rose sunk into a malaise to rival what she'd felt after the meeting at Dårlig ulv stranden. Not only was she mourning the Doctor all over again, she also couldn't account for close to six months of her life. Shortly before Christmas, she quit her job and took to staying in her bedroom for long stretches, only emerging to eat and bathe. She lived a half-life, glancing off the rest of her family like a stranger in a house full of unfamiliar faces.
Jackie, Pete, and Mickey were worried, naturally, but two of them had a new baby to occupy them, so Rose's personal problems fell by the wayside, and the infrequent mention of it over meals were only Jackie's very vocal fears that Rose would die an old maid and she'd never have any grandchildren. Mickey did the most work to get Rose out and away from the house, taking her to museums, ice skating, and even to the ballet once. Rose knew she should have appreciated his efforts more, but she just couldn't bring herself to care.
One day, in the early spring, he took her to the small hamlet of Knutsbury. Mickey's interest in Knutsbury was that it was the birthplace of Bradford Wilkins, a professional football star in his own right. Wilkins was the only player ever to make over seven hundred thousand pounds per year and never actually play in a match. It was a clear indication that Mickey had nearly exhausted his copy of Things to Do In and Around London Without Spending a Quid, but Rose went along without complaint.
Knutsbury was a pleasant place, probably a great place to raise children and have picnics and block parties if that was one's thing. The attraction it held for Rose, however, was not the charmingly narrow brick roads, nor the overflow of flowers and brilliant green patches of grass, nor the whimsical, hand hewn sign proclaiming Knutsbury to be "Home of the Most Famous Layabout in Britain," it was the blue wooden box standing conspicuously in the town square.
Not wishing to have another row with Mickey over the grounds they'd trodden over time and time again, she excused herself from the Bradford Wilkins Museum tour, claiming a need for fresh air. He went on alone, and Rose walked to the square.
Her heart pounded as she climbed the wide steps to the garden surrounding the box, and as she drew closer, she could see the words "Police Public Call Box" near the roof of the structure, just as she knew they'd be there. Almost afraid of being disappointed, she circled the thing slowly, examining it from every angle. It certainly looked like the TARDIS, but then, what were the chances it would turn up in some sleepy little village in Hampshire?
Rose swallowed hard and finally stopped in front of the box, leaning forward to lay her hand on the smooth service. In doing so, she nearly upset a recently erected plaque set into the ground in front of the door. It was hand carved wood and proclaimed the box to be a "Police Box, Formerly of London, 1953 - 1964." Below that, the sign read: "Generously and Anonymously Donated to the Hamlet of Knutsbury, June 2007."
"Nice, isn't it? Rather peculiar for such a small place to have, but interesting," a gruff voice said.
Rose turned around. An older gentleman was beaming at the police box with an air of pride. He lowered his smile to her. "There were objections at the council against it. You see, some people didn't want something associated with the Metro Police in our small square, but many of us thought such a passing piece of British history would be at home somewhere as old and rich in tradition as Knutsbury. Don't you agree?"
"It's mine." Before she could stop herself, the words were out of her mouth.
The cheerful man's grin dimmed momentarily. "I think, young miss, you'll find it's mine, or rather, property of the Historical Preservation Society of Knutsbury."
Rose nodded. "Of course, right. My mouth gets away from me sometimes." That seemed to warm him up again, and Rose went on, "Say, I couldn't see inside, could I?"
The man shook his head. "No, ma'am. No one can. We've had master locksmiths from as far as London, but we can't crack it without causing structural damage." He waved his hand. "But it makes no difference, really. Why would you want to go inside a police box that you can't call from?"
"Right. Exactly." Rose turned back to the box, and laid her hand on the door. When she was sure the man had gone, she murmured, "I've come for you, and we're going to find him together."
She was certain she heard a faint, delighted hum from inside the box.
XxX
That night, over a late supper after the baby had been put to bed, Rose pleaded her case to her mum and Pete.
"Rose, this is ludicrous," Pete objected for the fifteenth time. "It's just a box."
"It's not, though, is it? You know it's not!"
Jackie looked helplessly between her husband and her daughter, wanting to side with Rose, but hearing the sense in Pete's words.
"I think we've all put up with this enough..." Pete began.
Rose cut across him. "You've not put up with anything."
Their long-coming argument began to escalate, and the volley of words shot back and forth like gunfire.
"It's been a year! You almost..."
"You should have left me with him! You should have left me..."
"To die, Rose? You'd rather be..."
"Dead. I'd rather be dead than put up with this half-life, this charade..."
"Your mother and I love you, and so does Christina. Can't you see we just want what's..."
"What's best for me is to never have been born at all!"
"Stop it!" Jackie shouted. "Just shut up, the both of you!"
Stunned, they both closed their mouths and turned toward her.
Jackie reached across the coffee table and laid a hand on Rose's tear-stained cheek. "Darling, leave us for a minute, okay?"
"But, mum, I..."
"Rose, go," she repeated firmly.
Rose bit back a retort and stood, shooting Pete an icy glare on the way.
She listened through the door, but their voices were too low to make out a single word. When the door opened, Pete was standing there. "We'll bring it here," he said simply.
Rose rushed to embrace him, and both issued apologies through their tears. The baby awoke then, and Rose went to tend to her sister for the first time since she'd been born.
XxX
Rose devoted most of her waking hours to breaking into the TARDIS. She knew it would be a tough job if even master locksmiths were confounded, but she thought the TARDIS would open for her eventually.
Usually, she sat staring at the blue box in the garage, empty save for every tool, key, and instrument she could think of using laying in a discarded heap of twisted, bruised metal on the floor. She tried talking to it, stroking it, even bringing it a cup of tea, but nothing worked. The TARDIS remained stubbornly silent and closed off.
Rose tried to rejoin her family as payment for Pete's concession to purchase the TARDIS from Knutsbury at an astronomical price, and they tried their best to live with the single-minded girl she'd become. Even Mickey, who had made the most of this new Rose backed off a little since she found the TARDIS. They all figured that at least with a purpose, even a hopeless one, Rose was better off than she had been just moping about.
Days turned into weeks, and by summer, the TARDIS still would not open. It had been a year to the day since Rose had met Mary and seen the inside of the TARDIS, and more than twice that since she'd last seen her Doctor. That morning in June, she woke to a low hanging red sun that set the cream colored walls of her bedroom on fire with orange light. It was humid and hot, but there was something about the sun that made her stomach flip, so she got up, slipped into her trainers, and went downstairs.
No one was awake yet, and Rose was hesitant to start banging on the TARDIS and waking her baby sister. Instead, she jogged across the dew-heavy lawn, down the wide drive, and headed for town.
Whenever Rose ran, which was growing more and more frequently as she found she had an overabundance of energy to burn, she cut through what would have been her old neighborhood in her universe. It was slightly cleaner than her old flats had been, with markedly fewer buildings covered in graffiti, but it was more sinister too, with the half torn down fences and barbed wire that remained from the Cybus Industries days.
Still, she felt a kinship with the place, running through the playground where she and Mickey had played as children, then first kissed as teenagers, and past the basketball court where she'd found those words written as large as life leading her back to the Doctor when he tried to send her away. In this world, though, there was no Bad Wolf to guide her, and the dim memory of whatever had happened to her on board the TARDIS to take her back to defeat the Daleks was merely a ghost, niggling at the back of her mind.
She made her way across the littered parking lot, and finally turned onto the wider avenue where Mickey had unlocked the TARDIS for her then. She knew no yellow truck would help her this time, and in fact, she wasn't sure Mickey would even do that for her again. He knew as well as she that if - when - she left, she was never coming back.
She pushed those thoughts aside and ran harder, pounding the pavement until her knees ached, and her thighs shook. She was dripping sweat, and finally, she stopped to catch her breath.
When she looked up, she saw that she was outside of the curiosity shop. The peeling letters looked a little fresher than they had, and the boards were gone from the door. Shaking both from the strain on her muscles and from the excitement of feeling nearer to the answers she sought, she laid her hand on the handle and stepped inside.
The shop looked exactly as it had the day the summer before. She heard a bell tinkle, and when she turned around, she saw Mickey enter the shop... and he was dragging her along behind him.
Rose ducked behind a life-sized wax figure of Benny Hill. From over his shoulder, she watched Mickey set toward the trunk and eagerly begin unpacking it, and she saw herself begin to flick through the records listlessly. Mary approached her and offered her assistance, and when she turned, she saw Mary jump back.
Rose followed when Mary grabbed the past her by the wrist and pulled her into the back room. She knew how this would unfold, and though she longed to go into the TARDIS to see the Doctor again, or maybe even steal her key from herself, she knew she hadn't done those things the first time, and it wouldn't be the right thing to do. Instead, she concealed herself behind a rusty suit of armor and waited.
The minutes passed slowly, but finally, Mary emerged from the TARDIS, supporting her slumped form under the arms rather indelicately. Rose could stand no more, so she stepped out into the open.
Mary looked up, clearly unsurprised. "Can you wait a minute while I put her back outside?"
Rose was puzzled. "I, uh..."
Mary lifted an eyebrow. "Still haven't really mastered language in a year, have you?" She shook her head disdainfully. "Hold on a moment now, will you?"
She shuffled past with Rose's lifeless form as Rose looked on, dumbfounded. A moment later, Mary reentered through the door. She gestured to pair of stacked chairs at a dusty table. "Care to right those so I can sit?"
Without thinking, Rose hurried to do as Mary bid her. Once they were both seated, facing each other across the table, Mary launched into her explanation without Rose having to ask.
"I haven't much time. The Doctor's speech went on rather a lot longer than I expected." She grinned. "But then, I suppose I should have known it would. He's a little long-winded, isn't he?" She didn't wait for Rose to answer. "Well, like he said, I was there when he died. I'm not allowed to tell you how or when, so don't ask. When I got back inside the TARDIS, his hologram instructed me to wait for you. For you," she fairly spat the word. "I was there, I held him while he..." she sighed, and waved her hand as if to dispel her rancor from the air around them.
"It doesn't matter anymore. It's been a long time. So I waited for you, and you know what happened next." She looked pointedly at the TARDIS. "Obviously, you haven't given up on him or the ship, or you wouldn't be here now." She wrinkled her nose. "I think I dosed you rather too heavily with that amnesiotic fluid, but no bother. He asked for one year, and I suppose you've given it." Mary reached into her shawl and withdrew a long chain. On the end of it, the TARDIS key sparkled and shone despite the low light.
Rose gasped and reached out for it. For a moment, Mary looked reluctant to hand it over, but then seemed to think again and clasped Rose's hands, pressing the warm key into them.
"Vaya con Dios, Rose Tyler," she choked out, tears running down her weathered cheeks. "And when you get there, tell him I loved him too. Please."
Rose could only nod as her throat was now thick with emotion.
"Go now," she said. "I'm not going to be here much longer."
Rose had a million questions, and she opened her mouth to speak, but the woman shoved Rose's hands away and shouted, "Go!"
XxX
She smelled bacon frying in the kitchen as she raced up to the house, TARDIS key in hand. The scent made her stomach growl, and for a moment, she was torn between getting back to the Doctor as quickly as she could, and saying goodbye.
She stood on the lawn, waffling, clutching the key to her heaving breast. When she saw her mother in the window, cuddling Christina close, and whispering love words to her, her choice was made. Rose would never be able to say goodbye.
She opened the garage, half-scared the TARDIS would have left without her, but it was still there, still stubbornly locked against her. She crossed the room slowly, and with a jagged breath, guided the key into the lock. It turned.
Without a sound, Rose slipped inside the darkened ship and closed the door behind her. She walked up to the console and laid her hand gently on the controls, and the TARDIS responded with a welcoming hum. The center column seemed to come to life before her eyes, and the console room lit with a warm yellow light.
"We're going back to him," she said simply. She took a deep breath and studied the controls. Though she'd seen the Doctor pilot the ship more times than she could remember, he never seemed to do the same thing twice, and she was at a loss as to where she should begin.
She touched the monitor and it flickered on, showing her several lines in what appeared to be a few different languages. That was of no use, so she laid her hand on what she hoped was the handbrake. She disengaged it, and the TARDIS responded with a loud thump, and then the distinctive guttural whir of the engines filled her ears.
Rose laughed out loud as the engines roared louder and the time rotor in the center column vibrated, then pulsed up and down. She closed her eyes and let whatever had guided her the first time take hold. There was a hum in her veins, and she felt her blood go cold and pump through her heart, warm up, then push into her lungs, then out and everywhere. She was living and breathing the heart of the TARDIS again, and the memory of the first time came back strong, rushing at her from all sides, and filling her with boundless energy and profound peace at the same time. Her body tingled with the rich power of whatever the TARDIS was doing to her, and she moved around the console as though she'd been doing it all of her life, turning knobs, pressing buttons, cranking handles, and holding on as the ship lurched and faded away.
Almost as soon as it had begun, the engines slowed, then stopped altogether. She had landed.
She exhaled slowly, feeling the powerful warmth escape her lungs, abandon her veins, and for a moment, she felt horribly alone. Shaking off the feeling, she raced to the door and opened it.
Rose found herself in the garage. She hadn't gone anywhere. Anxiety gripped her; what if she never found the Doctor? She'd been so certain...
She stepped out of the TARDIS, feeling even more miserable than she ever had. Her last chance was a failure. The Doctor hadn't wanted her to find him after all.
She staggered out the door and onto the lawn. Down the yard, she could see her family sitting around a table on one of the patios; they must have decided to take breakfast outside. Not wishing to see them, Rose headed for the house.
There was a young man rooting through the refrigerator in the kitchen. She desperately hoped it wasn't someone her mum wished to fix her up with, and as she tugged a banana from the bunch on the counter, she said, "It won't work out between us, so you may as well get your canapés to go."
The man whirled around, and dropped the carton of milk in his hand. "Hey! Who are you?"
Rose peeled the banana, leaning against the sink nonchalantly. "Undoubtedly your reward for sucking up to my dad. It isn't worth it, really. So nice to meet you, kindly get out."
The man called over his shoulder, "Hey, Paul! There's some bird in the kitchen. You let 'er in?"
The man Rose assumed to be Paul lumbered in, filling the doorway. Rose's eyes widened. "What's going on here? Why are you people in my house?" She backed toward the door. "I'm getting my dad, and when he gets up here, you'd better be gone."
The man who'd dropped his milk eyed Rose, "What do you mean, your house? This is my house!"
Rose blinked as realization dawned on her. She grinned. "You mean, this isn't Pete Tyler's house?"
Paul spoke up, "Who's Pete Tyler, lady?"
Rose laughed and held the banana aloft. "Thanks for breakfast, guys. I've got to go."
She turned and pushed through the door and ran down the lawn past the startled family who was not hers with a whoop of joy.
She streaked down the drive and toward Powell Estates. As she grew closer, the landscape grew ever more weedy and littered, and Rose gloried in the familiarity. Passing through the playground, she shrieked with glee over the graffiti on the sides of buildings, the detritus of city living swept into piles along the curbs, the mangled old Peugeot wagon on blocks in the middle of an empty field. She was home.
But where to go, where to begin her search, where... she almost collided with a man on the corner as the questions whirled through her head. "Sorry," she murmured, disengaging herself from him, and...
"Rose!"
She looked up, and beaming down at her, a look of complete shock making his dark brown eyes boggle, was the Doctor. Her Doctor.
She threw her arms around him. "Doctor, I've found you!"
He gathered her close and lifted her easily. "Yes, you have. But where...?" He buried his face in her hair, and the rest of his question was lost.
She pulled away, but only enough to look up at his smiling face. "Oh, God, I've missed you."
"Me too."
"You told me not to look for you, but I did."
His grin broadened, "Of course you did." He set her away from him, but still clung to her. "Well, I wouldn't have told you not to look for me if I didn't expect you to not listen." He paused, seemed to recount the negatives, and seeming satisfied, he beamed at her. "You never listen to me, and anyway, wanting to do something is much more important than knowing how to do it. You didn't know how to fly the TARDIS, and you had to want to do it to really make it work. I'm sure my future self knew that, so he forbade you to do, because knowing you as I... and he... as we do, we knew you'd want it even more if we told you not to." He nodded succinctly.
She laughed. "You're right; I'm not sorry."
"I'm not either."
They stared at each other for a long moment, grinning madly, and each taking the other in.
The Doctor dropped his hand to take Rose's, and he began to lead her away from the site of their reunion. "I'm not sure I really want to know, but of course I really do want to know." He paused and glanced sidelong at her. "How did you get here? Are there new holes in the fabric of space-time that require my expert stitching?"
"Probably. Maybe one or two. And there is the little matter of my TARDIS that is currently parked in a garage that is very much not mine."
The Doctor stopped in his tracks. "Your TARDIS?"
Rose squeezed his hand reassuringly. "It's kind of a long story. I'll tell you about it sometime."
For once, he seemed entirely at a loss for words. Rose laughed, and he joined her, and hand in hand, they walked down the street happy to be together again at long last.
XxX
I found a beta at fandom_betas! Why don't you?