First, to set the stage....
As I exited my weekly halo-playing ritual, I saw that the clouds were going away and leaving a black patch of sky with brilliant stars like diamonds thrown across black velvet. That's always what it makes me think of and I'll probably make it cliche but oh well. If I ever got a tatoo I would make it of stars. They make me think of how much more there is out there. And they're so beautiful.
Anyway, this was a strange reminder of how up+down my life has been lately. As I told Laura and Kate at our wonderful dinner tonight, lately I've been doing mostly things i REALLY enjoy. For instance, making dinner tonight, reading the fellowship of the ring for medieval lit class, dancing with paul after dinner (i can kinda moonwalk now!), the kids at halo and just having a community of friends, watching lost at least once a day, loving the people in all my classes, etc.
AND YET. Last night I was in here sobbing my eyes out on the floor and telling God I thought he should shape up. I know he doesn't really need to, but I wish... I don't know. I get the theological reasons for why he lets certain things happen, but I guess that's just harder to understand when they're closer to home. Maybe I was mostly tired but I'm depressed about various things too. Weird how it works, huh?
I think I'm not going to the U2 concert after all which is sad, but I get to chill longer. Also, my last real scheduled final (which was at the very first time slot) was just made optional, so if I wanted to, I could go home on Tuesday. I don't want to though, so there.
I feel happy right now.
Anyway, this was a strange reminder of how up+down my life has been lately. As I told Laura and Kate at our wonderful dinner tonight, lately I've been doing mostly things i REALLY enjoy. For instance, making dinner tonight, reading the fellowship of the ring for medieval lit class, dancing with paul after dinner (i can kinda moonwalk now!), the kids at halo and just having a community of friends, watching lost at least once a day, loving the people in all my classes, etc.
AND YET. Last night I was in here sobbing my eyes out on the floor and telling God I thought he should shape up. I know he doesn't really need to, but I wish... I don't know. I get the theological reasons for why he lets certain things happen, but I guess that's just harder to understand when they're closer to home. Maybe I was mostly tired but I'm depressed about various things too. Weird how it works, huh?
I think I'm not going to the U2 concert after all which is sad, but I get to chill longer. Also, my last real scheduled final (which was at the very first time slot) was just made optional, so if I wanted to, I could go home on Tuesday. I don't want to though, so there.
I feel happy right now.