A poem to share
Don't worry, every decision/reaction I had after that weekend still stands. I wrote this poem a while ago and I just felt like posting it cause I'm in a lonely mood.
The next boy better come soon!!!!!!
Remember that piece of me that you took
Back when the words "I love you"
Were words you formed with no regrets
Well I would like it back
Remember the beat of my heart
Lying pressed up against you
When sleeping well was something I was capable of
Well I'd like that pulse back too
I'd like back my laughter
My shouts of delight
When I ran along the beach with you
Sure I would trip and fall in the sand
I'd like back my pauses of breath
While you traced your fingeres along my spine
Looking for wounds buried deep that you could heal
I'd like back the easy way I smiled
The whole-hearted trust I placed in your hands
THe feeling of being someone you wanted to talk to
Instead of this creature you didn't understand
I want back that time
When I was so wild so
Young
That I believed everything you told me
And every promise
Or promise of a promise
I kept locked away inside my body
For you to explore and find
I want to look at you and once more
Feel safe walls around me and know
I am
Home
Instead of my crooked fingers
Grasping at empty air pockets
Wondering where the hell I belong
Where the hell has it gone
I'm tired of sitting here wondering
Did I make it all up
Did I mess it all up
I'm tired of wondering just what went on here
And being told nothing
Nothing nothing nothing
You're upset over nothing
THere was nothing to begin with
So there's nothing to lose
No there was something there
Something was lost
And somethign was broken
And some things just don't cut it anymore
I do not accept this change in my status
And I do not accept
These cracked pieces of my heart that you shove back at my face
And I do not accept that you can open yourself up to someone
So that your deepest insides are steaming and visible
And have them decide
It's no what they wanted
After all
I would like you to put my insides
Back
Inside
Take me back to the time
When I knew they were there because
They were jumping around inside of me whenver I heard your voice
Will they jump for anyone else
They tell me yes
But I think no
I don't think I'll ever get it back
-10/9/05
The next boy better come soon!!!!!!
Remember that piece of me that you took
Back when the words "I love you"
Were words you formed with no regrets
Well I would like it back
Remember the beat of my heart
Lying pressed up against you
When sleeping well was something I was capable of
Well I'd like that pulse back too
I'd like back my laughter
My shouts of delight
When I ran along the beach with you
Sure I would trip and fall in the sand
I'd like back my pauses of breath
While you traced your fingeres along my spine
Looking for wounds buried deep that you could heal
I'd like back the easy way I smiled
The whole-hearted trust I placed in your hands
THe feeling of being someone you wanted to talk to
Instead of this creature you didn't understand
I want back that time
When I was so wild so
Young
That I believed everything you told me
And every promise
Or promise of a promise
I kept locked away inside my body
For you to explore and find
I want to look at you and once more
Feel safe walls around me and know
I am
Home
Instead of my crooked fingers
Grasping at empty air pockets
Wondering where the hell I belong
Where the hell has it gone
I'm tired of sitting here wondering
Did I make it all up
Did I mess it all up
I'm tired of wondering just what went on here
And being told nothing
Nothing nothing nothing
You're upset over nothing
THere was nothing to begin with
So there's nothing to lose
No there was something there
Something was lost
And somethign was broken
And some things just don't cut it anymore
I do not accept this change in my status
And I do not accept
These cracked pieces of my heart that you shove back at my face
And I do not accept that you can open yourself up to someone
So that your deepest insides are steaming and visible
And have them decide
It's no what they wanted
After all
I would like you to put my insides
Back
Inside
Take me back to the time
When I knew they were there because
They were jumping around inside of me whenver I heard your voice
Will they jump for anyone else
They tell me yes
But I think no
I don't think I'll ever get it back
-10/9/05