Fic Angst, Inside and Out...
I appear to be suffering from a serious case of denial. I keep telling myself that there's got to be a whole bunch of Brian/Sonny fics waiting for me somewhere on the internet if I can only just find the right search words for Google. If I can just be clever enough, I'll earn them. After the eightieth attempt, I might have to finally admit that there just isn't. I would hate that, though, because there needs to be more fic for them. Pretty please, universe?
I've been taking a break from writing Knots because... well. I think I needed a little distance. Not from the story, but from the feedback lol. Not from the good or helpfully critical feedback, obviously, but from the, err, emotional feedback from certain people. It's kind of head-scratching for me to be honest. I've been writing fic for a long time. I've written love triangles, angst, and drama pretty much the whole way. I've been in many fandoms. My amazing, loyal readers of FE have let me draw out a love triangle over years. And never have I gotten this kind of feedback. I remember getting a handful of flames back in the day for OA when I included a gay romance for Remus and Sirius (lol so long ago that people would still find that idea shocking), so I wasn't too thrown by the handful of flames I've received from people who were obviously fiercely defensive of Wilson and upset by the Brison stuff. They're gross, but whatever.
It's the other stuff. The ones where you can almost hear the crying behind the words because you've hurt their feelings with your writing. Recently, I responded in what I thought was a polite discussion about Knots with someone who came off as a tad too emotional about some elements but whatever. From one single response, it quickly devolved into this person sending me something like six emotional essays about how I was presenting an abusive relationship as positive and how I apparently thought Will deserved to be emotionally abused and how I was apparently triggering her about her own history with abuse etc. etc. I just: what? I didn't respond after that first time because you aren't allowed to tell an abuse victim that they're wrong about their triggers or that they're clearly projecting all over you and your abuse-free fic (but I can be a jerk here and imply it, heh). I love Knots. I think it's some of my best writing (of course I always think that until the next one and then the last one instantly becomes embarrassing lol), but I'll be the first one to tell you that it's not worth this level of upset. I just wanted to write some emotional (and actual) porn!
Look, I get it. I do. I can get overly invested and emotional about pairings, too. But that's too much. I've had a lot of stresses lately in my life, and I really didn't need that on top of it. I think this experience has shown me that the future should only be completed stories and never again a posted work-in-progress because all the negativity has done nothing positive for my creative process. ^^; Anyway. Rant/whine complete. When I'm in a better mood, I remember to be grateful that anyone is reading at all. And the wonderful, positive responses-- some from people I greatly admire-- have definitely outweighed the negative. That's good. That's great actually.
I've been taking a break from writing Knots because... well. I think I needed a little distance. Not from the story, but from the feedback lol. Not from the good or helpfully critical feedback, obviously, but from the, err, emotional feedback from certain people. It's kind of head-scratching for me to be honest. I've been writing fic for a long time. I've written love triangles, angst, and drama pretty much the whole way. I've been in many fandoms. My amazing, loyal readers of FE have let me draw out a love triangle over years. And never have I gotten this kind of feedback. I remember getting a handful of flames back in the day for OA when I included a gay romance for Remus and Sirius (lol so long ago that people would still find that idea shocking), so I wasn't too thrown by the handful of flames I've received from people who were obviously fiercely defensive of Wilson and upset by the Brison stuff. They're gross, but whatever.
It's the other stuff. The ones where you can almost hear the crying behind the words because you've hurt their feelings with your writing. Recently, I responded in what I thought was a polite discussion about Knots with someone who came off as a tad too emotional about some elements but whatever. From one single response, it quickly devolved into this person sending me something like six emotional essays about how I was presenting an abusive relationship as positive and how I apparently thought Will deserved to be emotionally abused and how I was apparently triggering her about her own history with abuse etc. etc. I just: what? I didn't respond after that first time because you aren't allowed to tell an abuse victim that they're wrong about their triggers or that they're clearly projecting all over you and your abuse-free fic (but I can be a jerk here and imply it, heh). I love Knots. I think it's some of my best writing (of course I always think that until the next one and then the last one instantly becomes embarrassing lol), but I'll be the first one to tell you that it's not worth this level of upset. I just wanted to write some emotional (and actual) porn!
Look, I get it. I do. I can get overly invested and emotional about pairings, too. But that's too much. I've had a lot of stresses lately in my life, and I really didn't need that on top of it. I think this experience has shown me that the future should only be completed stories and never again a posted work-in-progress because all the negativity has done nothing positive for my creative process. ^^; Anyway. Rant/whine complete. When I'm in a better mood, I remember to be grateful that anyone is reading at all. And the wonderful, positive responses-- some from people I greatly admire-- have definitely outweighed the negative. That's good. That's great actually.