something vague / just like justin
today I go downtown and Mutsumi hums with the bumps in the road
together we sing Death Cab songs, and I talk to my car. she says to me, "travis? what's the matter?
is it that you feel so alone? is that you lost your job? is that you wish you were in school? is that
you don't have inspiration?"
i shook my head, "mutsumi-chan, you wouldn't understand."
"why not?" "well, because you're a car. a Honda, of all things."
"so?" "so. it's not even normal to talk to a car. did you know that?"
"..no." "well, it isn't." "..." "..." "..." "i can't write, mutsumi."
"what do you mean?" "i mean, the old stuff i used to write. the stories and things,
i can't write them anymore." "why not?" "i don't know. that part of me is just gone."
"what will you do now?"
"i'll write about something else. I'll write about myself. the real me."
mutsumi purred understandingly, and we changed CDs. our conversation died and conor oberst hypnotized us
with songs of dreams and longing. there's a dream in my brain that just won't go away
it's been stuck there since it came a few nights ago. and i'm standing on a bridge
in the town where I lived as a kid with my mom and my brothers -- and then that bridge disappears
and i'm standing on air with nothing holding me.
i put in applications at all the usual subjects, you know. clerk jobs. i'm trying to make a big decision.
part of me wants to move, this Spring, to fredricksburg. with mike. it's an exciting college town with such
interesting people in it. i feel like in a city I might be able to connect with people more, or at least
have more opportunities to do so. another part of me wants to go to school. get my grades up. get some
government cheese, and then see if I can't go to a certain Lynchburg school i adore, but currently don't
have the right genitalia to go to. it's one that will weigh heavily on me.
i made a mixtape today.
i will try to update. every day. love you.
together we sing Death Cab songs, and I talk to my car. she says to me, "travis? what's the matter?
is it that you feel so alone? is that you lost your job? is that you wish you were in school? is that
you don't have inspiration?"
i shook my head, "mutsumi-chan, you wouldn't understand."
"why not?" "well, because you're a car. a Honda, of all things."
"so?" "so. it's not even normal to talk to a car. did you know that?"
"..no." "well, it isn't." "..." "..." "..." "i can't write, mutsumi."
"what do you mean?" "i mean, the old stuff i used to write. the stories and things,
i can't write them anymore." "why not?" "i don't know. that part of me is just gone."
"what will you do now?"
"i'll write about something else. I'll write about myself. the real me."
mutsumi purred understandingly, and we changed CDs. our conversation died and conor oberst hypnotized us
with songs of dreams and longing. there's a dream in my brain that just won't go away
it's been stuck there since it came a few nights ago. and i'm standing on a bridge
in the town where I lived as a kid with my mom and my brothers -- and then that bridge disappears
and i'm standing on air with nothing holding me.
i put in applications at all the usual subjects, you know. clerk jobs. i'm trying to make a big decision.
part of me wants to move, this Spring, to fredricksburg. with mike. it's an exciting college town with such
interesting people in it. i feel like in a city I might be able to connect with people more, or at least
have more opportunities to do so. another part of me wants to go to school. get my grades up. get some
government cheese, and then see if I can't go to a certain Lynchburg school i adore, but currently don't
have the right genitalia to go to. it's one that will weigh heavily on me.
i made a mixtape today.
i will try to update. every day. love you.