(no subject)

[starve_4_harry]

dear "friend",
i hate you. I HATE YOU. i hate you i hate you i hate hate hate hate you. did you have those plans when you invited me over? did you invite me over so you could have your stupid fucking way? or when i said no did you decide that you were going to RAPE me. you raped me! i'm so dumb. i'm so stupid. there i was, fucking CRYING to you about how i was worried about my sister, and you fucked me. you KNEW i was waiting. i wanted to wait until i was married. i wanted to wait!

i stumbled home, choking on my tears. i opened my front door slowly, planning on running to mommy. iwanted mommy to take care of me. but home was different. it was stale, almost. i felt as if the air was still. mommy was sitting on her bed strangely. "mommy..." i choked out. but when i saw mommy's face, i knew. i Knew.

she's dead.

--

so am i. i think.

-beth.

i deserved this. i'm fat and dumb. i am so fat. i am so stupid. so stupid!!

i miss Her. and i miss You. the nice You. the You who loved me. i miss my family.

most of all, i miss ME.