(no subject)
6 am...traditionally I'm never up this early. I think something is wrong. I'm not certain. But I can't sleep. I'm trying to reflect on the ignorance and naivete of years past and use it as a platform to further realization. But to realize what? I guess I can take the blame for making a lot of things in my life fall apart. I started feeling exceptionally different yesterday/last night. I want to know so much more. I know that's kind of general, but I think that applies to a many aspects of my life. I need to be challenged intellectualy, emotionally...It's like my brain is resting dormant on the floor of a volcano. I feel like I've been in fucking suspended animation recently...work, go home, work, go home. I think too much to be living here. The fact that I think at all may very well merit me that. And love...I'm thinking about it as I type, yet conveying any love-related thoughts, particularily mine at this moment, would require someone to be awake. Being awake is requisite, and I may need a few hours to gather myself