Fic: Baths are Illogical/Amanda's Homecoming
Title: Baths are Illogical and Amanda's Homecoming
Author: whiteraven1606
Rating: PG
Summary: Sarek tries to give little Spock a bath. Spock is not amused. Amanda sooths ruffled feathers and generally giggles about it all.
Warnings: Fluff! Also, the author is dyslexic, (in other words be happy I can spell at all) therefore this has been beta'd by nightshadow_t2 .
Notes: In the request post on this comm there was a prompt by rabidrhapsody : "When Amanda is away, Sarek has to give little Spock a bath. Spock hates bath time. Shenanigans ensue." and in st_respect in a request post there was a prompt by daphnie_1 : "I would love, *love* something centered around Amanda. An icon, a quick drabble, anything that strikes you! For she is awesome and made of all things that are win." I wrote them both and put them back to back. Enjoy.
Baths are Illogical:
****
It was highly illogical that he could not bathe his own child. He had seen Amanda do this in the past, but somehow he was not finding it as simple as his wife made it appear.
"Spock." Spock looked up at him from under the small table that Amanda had a rose plant on. The boy was naked and staring at him. Sarek squatted down to better reason with his child. "You will come out and allow me to bathe you as your Mother as asked of me."
Spock's brow wrinkled for a moment and then he shook his head, his hair flying. Sarek reached for him as he had his eyes closed, but somehow Spock sensed it and darted out to the side in a scramble of little chubby limbs. Sarek dove for him and hit his own head against the wall as he missed by a finger length.
The last he saw of his child was his bare posterior disappearing around the corner into the hallway. Pushing himself up, Sarek moved after Spock as quickly as he could.
As he rounded the corner into the hallway, Sarek slid to a stop. Spock was nowhere to be seen. All the doors appeared closed and he knew that Spock wasn't quite tall enough to reach the trigger panels that they'd installed to keep an inquisitive child from getting into a room without an adult's help.
"Spock?" Sarek looked at each door carefully as he progressed down the hallway. There. The wall was discolored under the trigger panel for the bedroom. Making a mental note to have the panels moved up and to observe Spock's ability to jump, Sarek entered his bedroom. "You are required to bathe each night before your bedtime, Spock."
There was a slight noise from under the bed and Sarek was ready when Spock started to wiggle his way out. With sure hands, Sarek picked up his child. The boy was annoyed and displeased at having been caught. "Calm. I too dislike getting wet, but we have found that sonics do not agree with your skin, Spock. As I have explained before. You need to bathe."
Sarek tried to keep hold of Spock as the boy squirmed and then went completely limp in an attempt to drop out of his hold. As Sarek checked the water's temperature with one hand and held Spock with the other hand the boy nearly escaped again, but the very calm father managed to keep hold of his son although Sarek got wet in the process. Suppressing a sigh, Sarek maneuvered a suddenly stiff Spock into the warm water.
"There. You will endeavor to hold still so that I may wash you." Sarek's eyebrow climbed of its own accord as Spock dropped his chin to his chest and crossed his little arms tightly around himself. The soft cloth Amanda used made a small sound as it passed over Spock's skin. Sarek tried to scrub as he knew Amanda would, but it felt as though he was going to tear through Spock's skin. "I do not understand your reluctance to finish this quickly now that you have gotten wet."
Sarek blinked. That appeared to be the wrong thing to say. Holding his squirming child still with one hand, Sarek wiped the water from his cheek and tipped his head so that the water would run out of his ear. His hair was dripping onto his shoulder and Sarek knew that his wife would have covered her mouth and laughed at him if she'd been in the room. Then Spock started screeching in that pitch that made his ears throb. Dodging to the side as Spock kicked more water up, Sarek lost hold of the boy's slippery arm and he winced as Spock hit the floor in a heap.
It didn't slow the child down as he ran away, trailing soapy water and still yelling. Sarek picked up the towel that he'd laid out to use on Spock's hair when they were done and wiped his hands before following the water trail after the child. It took several tries to pull Spock out from the small cabinet he'd wedged himself into as the wet skin was not easy to hold onto. Trying to be careful not to grip too hard and bruise the boy, Sarek tried reasoning with him.
"Your mother would be disgraced at your behavior. It will be over quickly if you would simply cooperate."
"No!" Spock twisted and kicked at him. "No, no, no."
Sarek stepped back and to one side to allow the boy to escape. He knew the denials would only get louder and more frequent if he did not distract Spock or allow him to distract himself. He trailed again as the boy ran from the room. This time he cornered Spock as he was trying to trigger a door to open. Jumping up and slapping at the trigger panel, Spock was getting everything around him wet. As well as leaving a soapy trail down the wall in his failed attempts. Sarek scooped him up and pinned him against his side as he walked back to try again.
As he put Spock back into the water the child went completely stiff. Sarek turned him so that should he splash the water would hit the wall instead of his person. With the cloth Sarek started to wash Spock's closer ear. The boy leaned away from the cloth and ended up toppling over into the water with a gasp. Sarek's eyes widened as his son popped back up coughing and failing water in all directions as his thrashed with his arms.
Picking him back up, Sarek tried to check that Spock's airway was clear, but the boy turned his head away and sneezed. Sarek sat him back in the water and Spock sat there rubbing his nose as Sarek looked at the snot on the sleeve of his robe. With a mental sigh, Sarek took off the robe and pushed up the sleeves of his undershirt before trying again. The cloth was missing. Looking around, Sarek finally found a bit peeking out from under Spock.
After a brief struggle Sarek conceded the cloth to his son and started again with a new cloth. Spock frowned as the newly wet cloth moved towards his ear.
"I will be gentle if you will hold still."
Spock eyed his father and then the cloth. He heaved a sigh and allowed Sarek to wash the one ear. As Sarek changed hands to do the other ear, Spock used both his hands to launch water directly into Sarek's face and chest. As he jerked back, Sarek lost the new cloth and he could see Spock stuffing it under himself as he tried to clear the water from his face.
"That was well thought out. Now give me the cloth you have just taken."
Spock shook his head. "No."
Sarek gripped the only visible corner of the cloth and pulled hard. Spock toppled with another gasp and Sarek dropped the sopping cloths on the floor beside him as he tried to get Spock upright.
The boy coughed and rubbed at his eyes before wiping his nose with the back of his hand. He glared up at Sarek and huffed. "You are being mean."
Sarek suppressed the hurt that rose at that and tried to ring out the cloths before their puddle became any bigger. His knee was getting wet where the puddle had spread. "If you would allow me to wash you as your Mother does we would already be finished, Spock. I am not attempting to be mean to you."
Spock sniffed and blinked several times. "It is not right." He crossed his arms and dropped his chin to his chest again.
Sarek's eyebrows came together slightly as he tried to work out what he was doing wrong. He had the water the correct temperature, the soft cloth not the coarse one, the towel was the brown one as Spock would not tolerate the touch of a different colored towel...Sarek closed his eyes and listened as his son ran away again, splashing water on him as he went. He was missing something important.
Several minutes later his wife was laughing at him and Sarek tried not to allow his displeasure to show.
"You have the water right and the brown towel?"
He nodded.
"You made sure to use the soft cloth not that scrubbing cloth that's blue?"
"Yes, my wife."
Amanda nodded and bit her lip. "And you, of course, gave him the squeaky sehlat toy to hold?"
His face must have shown something because Amanda started laughing again. Sarek tried to school his features, but that seemed to make his mate all the more amused.
"The toy should be in the cabinet above the towels, my love. Let me know how it goes." She saluted him, still laughing as she signed off.
Sarek saluted back reflexively before going to catch his son again.
He handed Spock the little sehlat toy as he rewarmed the water. Spock made it squeak repeatedly. He held still through all of the washing, content to squeak the toy over and over. Sarek stopped and replicated himself earplugs and came back to find Spock contentedly squeaking his toy. As he finished the washing, Sarek held out his hand to encourage Spock to stand up and step out.
Spock plopped the toy into his hand. "Your turn to bath now?"
Sarek sat the toy on the floor and helped Spock step out. "I will not. Hold still so that I may dry your hair."
Spock dodged him and grabbed up his toy. He held it up to Sarek. "Dry I-Chaya first."
Sarek started to explain how illogical that was, but after studying his son's determined face Sarek simply toweled off the toy. Spock almost smiled and held his arms straight out. It took Sarek a second to figure out that meant he should be drying Spock. After several squeaks, Sarek realized he was rubbing too hard on Spock's hair instead of hearing the toy's squeak he was hearing Spock. Pulling the towel off Spock's head so he could see what he'd done, Sarek was not prepared for Spock to fling his arms around him. Checking Spock carefully for injury, Sarek tried not to think about the toy digging into his ribs.
"You did well, Father. Mother would be proud." Spock planted a quick kiss on his cheek, pulled away, and ran out of the room naked before Sarek could react.
Looking around at the mess and then down at himself where he was wet through to the skin, Sarek resolved to never bathe Spock by himself again. From the other room Spock's squeaky toy could be heard over the child yelling for him to come help him reach his sleeping clothes. He knew it was illogical and he attributed hearing his wife's laughter to the water still in one ear as he headed down the hallway.
****
Amanda's Homecoming:
****
She'd only asked Sarek to bathe Spock while she was gone because she knew that by the time she'd have gotten back he'd be a ball of dirt and hair and very little else. She had known that it was a gamble. Sarek had watched her in the past, but she didn't think he'd paid all that much attention to the activity. When he'd called disheveled and wet she hadn't been surprised.
She eased into the house and sat down her bag just inside the door. Sarek appeared from bathroom and he looked...wetter than when he'd called. She smiled at him as he approached. "Hello, dear. You found the toy for him?"
Sarek nodded and held out his hand for a kiss. She met his fingers as she bit her lip at the sight of soaked spots showing over most of his shirt and one knee of his pants.
"It went well?" She allowed him to usher her down the hallway. As they passed the bathroom she glanced in and tried not to laugh. There was a huge puddle on the floor and disarray everywhere.
"It was ultimately a success."
She turned and patted the wet spot on his shoulder. "Yes, it appears that way."
He frowned at her with his eyebrows and she giggled a bit just to annoy him. Sarek pointed at their bedroom door. "Spock is able to jump high enough to reach the trigger panel to allow him entry into our room."
She'd caught Spock attempting it last week, but then he'd not been able to quite reach. "He's getting your height."
Sarek nodded. "He asked that you visit him upon your arrival."
She finger kissed him and ran her hand across his wet hair as she moved away to go speak to her boy.
Spock was laying on his stomach with the covers poofed out so that he could have several books in bed with him. She knelt down beside his bed. He blinked sleepy eyes at her. "Mother." He grinned just a little.
"Spock. How did your evening fair?"
He rubbed at one eye and reached under his cover. "Father does not give proper baths." He pulled out his little squeaky sehlat toy and held it out towards her.
She accepted the toy. "Perhaps he simply needs practice. I trust that you were understanding."
Spock propped himself up on his elbows. "I was not."
Amanda bit the inside of her cheek. "Oh? And why was that, Spock?"
"Father wanted to do everything wrong. It was most stressful."
"Everyone does things a little differently."
Spock pushed himself upright and Amanda could see his sleeping pants were on backwards. "Father is most disagreeable about the items needed for a bath."
"He forgot your sehlat toy."
Spock nodded.
Amanda motioned him to get up and she stripped off his pants and helped him get them on correctly. "He did not mean to forget, Spock." She held the covers up so he could get back into bed. "You can be certain he will remember from now on, my son."
"I would rather you help with baths." Spock held a book out to her. "Will you read to me?"
"Of course, Spock."
****
Amanda settled next to her now dry husband. "You had his pants on backwards, my love."
Sarek looked up from the PADD he was working on. "It did not appear to have a distinguishable front and back."
"There's a difference to the cut." She touched the back of his hand with her fingertips, slipping them down towards his wrist. "You did well."
He turned and pulled her against him, gently tucking her hair back so that they could see each other. "I do not agree."
"Spock is alive and bathed. You didn't destroy the house." She rubbed a circle on his skin with her thumb. "That is a bath well done."
He relaxed a fraction. "I still do not understand his aversion to any towel that is not brown. It is illogical."
She snorted and snuggled against Sarek. This was the only time he didn't mind it and she took full advantage. "It is a difference in the feel. He told me the other colors made him itch."
Sarek blinked. "The feel matters that much?"
"To him it matters. Do not worry, Sarek. He'll grow out of it. Children are all a little odd. I insisted on wearing a purple dress with red shoes when I was his age." She grinned at the eyebrow movement that got her. "It was logical to me at the time."
He covered her circling thumb with his other hand. "Indeed."
"You'll see." She patted him with her free hand. "Now. Tell me all about how you managed to get half the house wet."
Author: whiteraven1606
Rating: PG
Summary: Sarek tries to give little Spock a bath. Spock is not amused. Amanda sooths ruffled feathers and generally giggles about it all.
Warnings: Fluff! Also, the author is dyslexic, (in other words be happy I can spell at all) therefore this has been beta'd by nightshadow_t2 .
Notes: In the request post on this comm there was a prompt by rabidrhapsody : "When Amanda is away, Sarek has to give little Spock a bath. Spock hates bath time. Shenanigans ensue." and in st_respect in a request post there was a prompt by daphnie_1 : "I would love, *love* something centered around Amanda. An icon, a quick drabble, anything that strikes you! For she is awesome and made of all things that are win." I wrote them both and put them back to back. Enjoy.
Baths are Illogical:
****
It was highly illogical that he could not bathe his own child. He had seen Amanda do this in the past, but somehow he was not finding it as simple as his wife made it appear.
"Spock." Spock looked up at him from under the small table that Amanda had a rose plant on. The boy was naked and staring at him. Sarek squatted down to better reason with his child. "You will come out and allow me to bathe you as your Mother as asked of me."
Spock's brow wrinkled for a moment and then he shook his head, his hair flying. Sarek reached for him as he had his eyes closed, but somehow Spock sensed it and darted out to the side in a scramble of little chubby limbs. Sarek dove for him and hit his own head against the wall as he missed by a finger length.
The last he saw of his child was his bare posterior disappearing around the corner into the hallway. Pushing himself up, Sarek moved after Spock as quickly as he could.
As he rounded the corner into the hallway, Sarek slid to a stop. Spock was nowhere to be seen. All the doors appeared closed and he knew that Spock wasn't quite tall enough to reach the trigger panels that they'd installed to keep an inquisitive child from getting into a room without an adult's help.
"Spock?" Sarek looked at each door carefully as he progressed down the hallway. There. The wall was discolored under the trigger panel for the bedroom. Making a mental note to have the panels moved up and to observe Spock's ability to jump, Sarek entered his bedroom. "You are required to bathe each night before your bedtime, Spock."
There was a slight noise from under the bed and Sarek was ready when Spock started to wiggle his way out. With sure hands, Sarek picked up his child. The boy was annoyed and displeased at having been caught. "Calm. I too dislike getting wet, but we have found that sonics do not agree with your skin, Spock. As I have explained before. You need to bathe."
Sarek tried to keep hold of Spock as the boy squirmed and then went completely limp in an attempt to drop out of his hold. As Sarek checked the water's temperature with one hand and held Spock with the other hand the boy nearly escaped again, but the very calm father managed to keep hold of his son although Sarek got wet in the process. Suppressing a sigh, Sarek maneuvered a suddenly stiff Spock into the warm water.
"There. You will endeavor to hold still so that I may wash you." Sarek's eyebrow climbed of its own accord as Spock dropped his chin to his chest and crossed his little arms tightly around himself. The soft cloth Amanda used made a small sound as it passed over Spock's skin. Sarek tried to scrub as he knew Amanda would, but it felt as though he was going to tear through Spock's skin. "I do not understand your reluctance to finish this quickly now that you have gotten wet."
Sarek blinked. That appeared to be the wrong thing to say. Holding his squirming child still with one hand, Sarek wiped the water from his cheek and tipped his head so that the water would run out of his ear. His hair was dripping onto his shoulder and Sarek knew that his wife would have covered her mouth and laughed at him if she'd been in the room. Then Spock started screeching in that pitch that made his ears throb. Dodging to the side as Spock kicked more water up, Sarek lost hold of the boy's slippery arm and he winced as Spock hit the floor in a heap.
It didn't slow the child down as he ran away, trailing soapy water and still yelling. Sarek picked up the towel that he'd laid out to use on Spock's hair when they were done and wiped his hands before following the water trail after the child. It took several tries to pull Spock out from the small cabinet he'd wedged himself into as the wet skin was not easy to hold onto. Trying to be careful not to grip too hard and bruise the boy, Sarek tried reasoning with him.
"Your mother would be disgraced at your behavior. It will be over quickly if you would simply cooperate."
"No!" Spock twisted and kicked at him. "No, no, no."
Sarek stepped back and to one side to allow the boy to escape. He knew the denials would only get louder and more frequent if he did not distract Spock or allow him to distract himself. He trailed again as the boy ran from the room. This time he cornered Spock as he was trying to trigger a door to open. Jumping up and slapping at the trigger panel, Spock was getting everything around him wet. As well as leaving a soapy trail down the wall in his failed attempts. Sarek scooped him up and pinned him against his side as he walked back to try again.
As he put Spock back into the water the child went completely stiff. Sarek turned him so that should he splash the water would hit the wall instead of his person. With the cloth Sarek started to wash Spock's closer ear. The boy leaned away from the cloth and ended up toppling over into the water with a gasp. Sarek's eyes widened as his son popped back up coughing and failing water in all directions as his thrashed with his arms.
Picking him back up, Sarek tried to check that Spock's airway was clear, but the boy turned his head away and sneezed. Sarek sat him back in the water and Spock sat there rubbing his nose as Sarek looked at the snot on the sleeve of his robe. With a mental sigh, Sarek took off the robe and pushed up the sleeves of his undershirt before trying again. The cloth was missing. Looking around, Sarek finally found a bit peeking out from under Spock.
After a brief struggle Sarek conceded the cloth to his son and started again with a new cloth. Spock frowned as the newly wet cloth moved towards his ear.
"I will be gentle if you will hold still."
Spock eyed his father and then the cloth. He heaved a sigh and allowed Sarek to wash the one ear. As Sarek changed hands to do the other ear, Spock used both his hands to launch water directly into Sarek's face and chest. As he jerked back, Sarek lost the new cloth and he could see Spock stuffing it under himself as he tried to clear the water from his face.
"That was well thought out. Now give me the cloth you have just taken."
Spock shook his head. "No."
Sarek gripped the only visible corner of the cloth and pulled hard. Spock toppled with another gasp and Sarek dropped the sopping cloths on the floor beside him as he tried to get Spock upright.
The boy coughed and rubbed at his eyes before wiping his nose with the back of his hand. He glared up at Sarek and huffed. "You are being mean."
Sarek suppressed the hurt that rose at that and tried to ring out the cloths before their puddle became any bigger. His knee was getting wet where the puddle had spread. "If you would allow me to wash you as your Mother does we would already be finished, Spock. I am not attempting to be mean to you."
Spock sniffed and blinked several times. "It is not right." He crossed his arms and dropped his chin to his chest again.
Sarek's eyebrows came together slightly as he tried to work out what he was doing wrong. He had the water the correct temperature, the soft cloth not the coarse one, the towel was the brown one as Spock would not tolerate the touch of a different colored towel...Sarek closed his eyes and listened as his son ran away again, splashing water on him as he went. He was missing something important.
Several minutes later his wife was laughing at him and Sarek tried not to allow his displeasure to show.
"You have the water right and the brown towel?"
He nodded.
"You made sure to use the soft cloth not that scrubbing cloth that's blue?"
"Yes, my wife."
Amanda nodded and bit her lip. "And you, of course, gave him the squeaky sehlat toy to hold?"
His face must have shown something because Amanda started laughing again. Sarek tried to school his features, but that seemed to make his mate all the more amused.
"The toy should be in the cabinet above the towels, my love. Let me know how it goes." She saluted him, still laughing as she signed off.
Sarek saluted back reflexively before going to catch his son again.
He handed Spock the little sehlat toy as he rewarmed the water. Spock made it squeak repeatedly. He held still through all of the washing, content to squeak the toy over and over. Sarek stopped and replicated himself earplugs and came back to find Spock contentedly squeaking his toy. As he finished the washing, Sarek held out his hand to encourage Spock to stand up and step out.
Spock plopped the toy into his hand. "Your turn to bath now?"
Sarek sat the toy on the floor and helped Spock step out. "I will not. Hold still so that I may dry your hair."
Spock dodged him and grabbed up his toy. He held it up to Sarek. "Dry I-Chaya first."
Sarek started to explain how illogical that was, but after studying his son's determined face Sarek simply toweled off the toy. Spock almost smiled and held his arms straight out. It took Sarek a second to figure out that meant he should be drying Spock. After several squeaks, Sarek realized he was rubbing too hard on Spock's hair instead of hearing the toy's squeak he was hearing Spock. Pulling the towel off Spock's head so he could see what he'd done, Sarek was not prepared for Spock to fling his arms around him. Checking Spock carefully for injury, Sarek tried not to think about the toy digging into his ribs.
"You did well, Father. Mother would be proud." Spock planted a quick kiss on his cheek, pulled away, and ran out of the room naked before Sarek could react.
Looking around at the mess and then down at himself where he was wet through to the skin, Sarek resolved to never bathe Spock by himself again. From the other room Spock's squeaky toy could be heard over the child yelling for him to come help him reach his sleeping clothes. He knew it was illogical and he attributed hearing his wife's laughter to the water still in one ear as he headed down the hallway.
****
Amanda's Homecoming:
****
She'd only asked Sarek to bathe Spock while she was gone because she knew that by the time she'd have gotten back he'd be a ball of dirt and hair and very little else. She had known that it was a gamble. Sarek had watched her in the past, but she didn't think he'd paid all that much attention to the activity. When he'd called disheveled and wet she hadn't been surprised.
She eased into the house and sat down her bag just inside the door. Sarek appeared from bathroom and he looked...wetter than when he'd called. She smiled at him as he approached. "Hello, dear. You found the toy for him?"
Sarek nodded and held out his hand for a kiss. She met his fingers as she bit her lip at the sight of soaked spots showing over most of his shirt and one knee of his pants.
"It went well?" She allowed him to usher her down the hallway. As they passed the bathroom she glanced in and tried not to laugh. There was a huge puddle on the floor and disarray everywhere.
"It was ultimately a success."
She turned and patted the wet spot on his shoulder. "Yes, it appears that way."
He frowned at her with his eyebrows and she giggled a bit just to annoy him. Sarek pointed at their bedroom door. "Spock is able to jump high enough to reach the trigger panel to allow him entry into our room."
She'd caught Spock attempting it last week, but then he'd not been able to quite reach. "He's getting your height."
Sarek nodded. "He asked that you visit him upon your arrival."
She finger kissed him and ran her hand across his wet hair as she moved away to go speak to her boy.
Spock was laying on his stomach with the covers poofed out so that he could have several books in bed with him. She knelt down beside his bed. He blinked sleepy eyes at her. "Mother." He grinned just a little.
"Spock. How did your evening fair?"
He rubbed at one eye and reached under his cover. "Father does not give proper baths." He pulled out his little squeaky sehlat toy and held it out towards her.
She accepted the toy. "Perhaps he simply needs practice. I trust that you were understanding."
Spock propped himself up on his elbows. "I was not."
Amanda bit the inside of her cheek. "Oh? And why was that, Spock?"
"Father wanted to do everything wrong. It was most stressful."
"Everyone does things a little differently."
Spock pushed himself upright and Amanda could see his sleeping pants were on backwards. "Father is most disagreeable about the items needed for a bath."
"He forgot your sehlat toy."
Spock nodded.
Amanda motioned him to get up and she stripped off his pants and helped him get them on correctly. "He did not mean to forget, Spock." She held the covers up so he could get back into bed. "You can be certain he will remember from now on, my son."
"I would rather you help with baths." Spock held a book out to her. "Will you read to me?"
"Of course, Spock."
****
Amanda settled next to her now dry husband. "You had his pants on backwards, my love."
Sarek looked up from the PADD he was working on. "It did not appear to have a distinguishable front and back."
"There's a difference to the cut." She touched the back of his hand with her fingertips, slipping them down towards his wrist. "You did well."
He turned and pulled her against him, gently tucking her hair back so that they could see each other. "I do not agree."
"Spock is alive and bathed. You didn't destroy the house." She rubbed a circle on his skin with her thumb. "That is a bath well done."
He relaxed a fraction. "I still do not understand his aversion to any towel that is not brown. It is illogical."
She snorted and snuggled against Sarek. This was the only time he didn't mind it and she took full advantage. "It is a difference in the feel. He told me the other colors made him itch."
Sarek blinked. "The feel matters that much?"
"To him it matters. Do not worry, Sarek. He'll grow out of it. Children are all a little odd. I insisted on wearing a purple dress with red shoes when I was his age." She grinned at the eyebrow movement that got her. "It was logical to me at the time."
He covered her circling thumb with his other hand. "Indeed."
"You'll see." She patted him with her free hand. "Now. Tell me all about how you managed to get half the house wet."