Don't look outside, there's robot cars

[startredder]

I told Meg I'd do this, and as I have to leave to write an exam shortly after having got maybe six hours of sleep, I am in the prime condition to make good on really stupid things I promised to do.

So! Fic-type thingies request is now open!
I think anyone who would a) request something and b) have their request actually acknowledged instead of being

Comments

[startredder]

One day, Impulse appeared, much to the confusion of the assembled Teen Titans.

He was dishevelled, his wild hair wilder than usual, and his grin lit up the room. Both his hands were wrapped firmly around the arm of a tired, resigned looking older man in white, as though Bart were afraid if he let go the man would vanish.

"Hi guys!" Bart said without preamble. "I found Max! I dunno how long I've been gone for but thatdoesnt'matterbecauseIfoundMaxandDoctorFatehelpedmegetthethingwithhimandRivalallsortedoutandthenMaxbeatupRivalanditwaslikeWOOSHBOOMSMASHandhefightsreallywellforanoldguyyoushouldhaveseenhimandnowwe'rebackandeverything'llbegreatandIhopeyoudidn'tmissmesorryIdidn'ttellyouIwasleavingIforgotandthenIreallydidn'thaveachanceto --"

"Bart," interrupted the old speedster, causing Bart's words to shudder to an abrupt halt.

Bart blinked and looked around, wondering what Max was trying to draw his attention to this time. What was the problem? There was Tim, looking Tim-like except for the bit where his mouth was hanging open like he was trying to catch flies. And there was Kon, looking older but still like a dumb Superclonebaby with a dumber haircut, his mouth more agape than Tim's. Cassie, too, with a new costume that had obviously been selected to best catch Kon's attention, Bart decided he liked her old one better, but she still looked really pretty, despite the bit where her face looked like it was trying desperately to hide the fact that inside her brain was breaking into a thousand little pieces. And there were some other people that Bart didn't recognize, but obviously they were new team members or friends or allies or something, because Tim wouldn't let them be there otherwise and --

"Wally?!" Bart said in a gasp. In an instant, he was standing in front of Kid Flash, examining him from all sides. "Wally! What happened?! Why'd you let yourself get turned into a kid again? That was dumbLinda'sgoingtobesopissedatyoudotheyletyougetadivorceifyou'remadetooyoungtobelegallymarriedtoyourwifeorisshelikeyourmomnowor --"

"That's not Wally, Bart," said Cassie, her voice weak.

"He's wearing Wally's lame costume! I mean, maybe if Wally and Linda had a kid, not that they should ever have a kid, Wally would be a terrible Dad, but if they did and the kid grew up and became Kid Flash, not that he would because Wally hates sidekicks and anyway even Wally wouldn't be so mean to make his kidwearhisolddumbcostumeandIdon'tthinkI'vebeengonelongenoughforanykidWallywouldhavetogetthatoldunlesshe'satimetravellerare you a time traveller?"

In the background, Max heaved a sigh.

"We ... thought he was you, Bart. We think he is. Isn't he?" Cassie said, looking between the two. Kid Flash's expression was becoming increasingly embarrassed. He seemed to be hoping he might develop the powers of invisibility if he concentrated.

"I'm me. I'm Impulse! Why would that be me?"

Tim managed to shake off the blanket of confusion enough to try and explain things to the young speedster. "You'd just been through so much, with the loss of your guardian and all - Hello, Mr Mercury - and then your injury, it just seemed natural that it would have an adverse effect on your powers while simultaneously triggering an emotional maturity that may have seemed out of character but --"

"Actually," Kon interrupted, "we just thought you cut your hair."

[joyeuxnoel]

OMG.

*dead laughing at Kon*

*huggles Kon*

Best. Ending. Line. Ever.

And poor Bart, Wally's gots twins. The world should be scared, very scared.

And y'know, I always thought Kon and Cass's TT outfits were y'know, supposed to match each other. The Black Tees and the slackeriffic, in that too cool for kevlar/nomex type way.

[startredder]

We've spent some time trying to figure out what Wally's twins are named. Since he obviously wants to be as much like Barry as possible, we figure they must have /really horrible/ names.

My choice is 'Iconoclasim and Heresy'.

[joyeuxnoel]

My bet is that one of them is a Wally, Jr. Actually, I'm not sure what sex they are. I want to say there's a boy and a girl (but that could have just been in Wally's little dream/nightmare sequence.) I so can't recall off the top of my head.

Hey. Just think. It could get weirder. They could be Don and Dawn and with a pinch of time travel-- Bart could be his own grandpa!

*killed dead*

[startredder]

I think we decided that more likely would be Sam and Samantha.

BEATINGS FOR YOU.

[joyeuxnoel]

Wah! ST hit me! T_______T

*sniffles*

*sniff*

See, if I give you any spoilerifficness when the Flash title relaunches. =P

[startredder]

Bah! I'll just make one of my friends buy it and read over their shoulder. Or possibly just have them distill it for me. And then I'll bite someone.

[joyeuxnoel]

Ooooh. Fangs. *directs you to the direction of the ebil TPTB and awaits ST wrath* They'll settle down after a bite or two and if they don't you can just kick them. *nods, nods*

Now on the off chance that it's actually good and kick ass...

My money is actually on Bart as an adult but...

[startredder]

I'm sorry, DC has ground up my faith in their ability to produce something I will enjoy post-crisis and spit on it. In fact, I think they're the kind of reader they /don't/ want.

I think I'll also stab something's face if it's an adult Bart. I don't /want/ an adult Bart. I want /Impulse/ back. If it's an adult Bart, I'm sure they're just doing to do further things with his character that I'll have to deny.

[joyeuxnoel]

DC got points for me for "Identity Crisis" despite the plot holes of doom. DC also got points for the whole Superboy thing in "Infinite Crisis" despite the fact Crisis confuses/bores/annoys me to death. But Kon. *wibbles over him*

Y'know, I will be strangely content if it's an adult Bart. He won't be anything like the Bart we know and love. Because there'll be like maturity and stuff, so he'll become a little carbon copy Flash, which'll suck. Majorly. But at the same time... if it's not Bart this time around and if it is Wally, that means we probably won't get to see Bart as the Flash for another twenty years or so. Which will really annoy me. Because really. Bart does deserve it and I'd like to see it happen while I still care about comics.

*so thinks it's a "if not now, then never" situation*

[startredder]

What I don't like about the idea of Bart becoming the Flash is I don't think they'll handle it in a way I think they should with regards to the character. It should be Bart taking up /Barry's/ mantle, but I'm worried there going to make it all about Wally. Sigh.

[joyeuxnoel]

I think they could split it equally between Barry and Wally and have it be managable. I mean, even in the Flash title, Barry still gets mentioned a hell of a lot because Wally still feels like he's filling his shoes, y'know? (And honestly, Bart wants to fill Barry's shoes more than Wally's anyway.)

The only thing that could hink it up is the whole "Kid Flash" thing. Which, I really do agree with Bart becoming Kid Flash. I like how he wanted to show Wally that he was capable of living up to his namesake, then he sure as hell better be capable of living up to Barry's. But John's pacing was shitty about it. I wanted it to happen but just not in the cataclysmic knee shattering way. ._.

But, yeah, I do think if it is Bart, we'll hear more about Barry than Wally. Hell, poor Kyle heard shit loads about Hal. Old school baby, goes a long way.

Now watch. It'll be Barry. And all my speculation will be for naught! *dramatic pose*

[startredder]

LALALAICAN'THEARYOUWHOISTHISJOHNYOUTALKABOUT?!

I don't want Barry back, either. I think I could handle one of Wally's kids without my brain exploding much. I wouldn't mind a return of Wally's grown up kids /and/ a properly Bartish Bart, but ... DC is not going to make me happy on this count. I just know it. It'll be /Wally/ and then I'll have to do some punchin'.

[joyeuxnoel]

*shouts over the capslock* Geoff Johns! The bane of my existence! The guy I want to hate but then he does something that's a smidge of cool. Like having Bart get a Green Lantern tattoo. (Because no one would expect Kid Flash to have a Green Lantern tattoo!) And then he makes me all conflicted. =P

... yeah, having Barry back would do nothing for me. I bet the fanboys would love it though. Wally's... kid... omg. I'd spork myself if it was Wally's son. Spork. Spork. Spork. (I'd rather have Wally. ._.) But really, who are the other options? Johnny Quick and Jay Garrick aren't near as popular enough to carry the title.

Bartish!Bart... I'm not even sure I can picture how an Adult!Bart would act... ._.

[startredder]

CAPSLOCK DROWNS OUT EVERYTHING! (Seriously, when we were at the comic book shop a few weekends ago the girl started talking to us about some of the Crisis fallout with Titans members and I wandered into a different section of the store with my fingers in my ears going LA LA LA.)

It's not so much that having Barry back would do nothing for me, it's that having him back would cheapen the legacy he's built up. He's managed to remain this really pure figure, especially for speedsters, and I think that's /good/ that they have that kind of ideal. But they can't keep him that way and bring him back, so let him stay dead, having died a (double) hero's death, eh?

If Wally's son turned out a lot like /Linda/ I could get behind it, maybe.

I don't imagine it would be Johnny, since he's been /dead/ for, what, ten years, now, and was never a major player. I think a title built around Jay would have the potential to be really quite cool, but it would probably alienate the audience.

I do remember saying that what I think would be cool, is if Bart /is/ the new Flash, if he wasn't actually an adult. If they brought him back aged sixteen or something with all the other speedsters gone and he'd /have/ to fill the Flash role, because the world needs a Flash. Kid trying to fill the role and legacy of an adult superhero when that adult isn't there to loom over him? Hell yeah, I could get behind that. (Maybe similar to what they did with Wally after Barry died, but ... younger. And handled well. And funny yet poignant.)

[joyeuxnoel]

Well... Meltzer really messed up Barry's legacy with all the stuff with "Identity Crisis" so he's not as white hat as before which pissed a lot of fans off. I mean, I don't want him back because I want One Character For The Love of God To Stay Dead, but at the same time, they brought back Ollie and Hal so Barry's really the only one missing. :-/

Y'know, it'd be awesome if Bart was still a teen because it'd be fun and witty but I really can't say much about the creative team since I haven't really been exposed to their stuff. (I think DeMeo but details escape me.) Oh, how I long for Waid. Waid rocked socks.

The thing of it is that the Flash book has very been pretty much by the book stereotypical comic book faire. With time travel. So the idea of a Flash book being quirky... yeah... the fanboys would have issues. Hell, I don't think the fanboys even like Bart still. *sigh*

I really do wish you'd let me spoil you on the good moments of Teen Titans and Infinite Crisis because it's not all drama and horror and it's not like you'd be paying money for it. There are some really cool moments peppered between things and I still think Kon's little moment at the end of Infinite Crisis wins at life.

And honestly, I so want you to read Green Arrow. Because Ollie? Wins at life. Completely.