(no subject)
This is an email I wrote to a co-worker, after being pulled into my boss' office for being late. This is the third time she's talked to me about being late. I've improved sooooooo much since the first time she talked to me, but I don't think she sees that.
I’m not sure if I'm okay. I just know that C is a fucking whackjob. She tells me that she can’t allow me to be late, because that means she’s playing favorites and she doesn’t play favorites with her employees. That’s a crock. And I don’t understand how she can think that treating someone the way she does is going to make them want to be better or work harder. It’s just stupid intimidation tactics. And, while it may work in the short run, that’s never a good way to treat people. I’m getting so much less work done right now because I’m upset than I would if I came in an hour laet every day.
And she keeps saying that I do such a good job while I’m here, but that I may be fired for my tardiness. I can’t even fathom why you would fire a good employee for such a small thing. And she wanted to know why I’d had another set-back after improving and being on time for a couple of weeks. I told her that it’s because this tardiness is a lifetime habit that I’m trying to break and that’s difficult. She said, "no it’s not. After our last talk, you improved immediately, so it obviously doesn’t take a long time." I told her that yeah, a smoker can quit cold turkey, but they’ll probably slip up and have a cigarette now and then.
That’s when she told me I lied to her in my job interview. That because I told her that I wouldn’t have a problem with the schedule being 8-5, I was telling her that I would never be late. And, if I’d told her the truth, she probably wouldn’t have hired me in the first place. She also said that she has a funder position open, but that she’s not even considering me for it. She says I’m capable and I’d do a great job, but it’s because of these other problems we’re having. You know, "You were late today and Friday, I had to pull you into my office on Thursday because you had a bad attitude."
And the last thing she said to me before I left her office was “I’m just trying to understand.” But she’s not trying. Not at all.
ETA:
C,
I don’t know if you’ll get this email before I talk to you or after, but I have to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being late. I’m sorry for having a bad attitude. I don’t want to lose my job. Ever since our last conversation about tardiness, I’ve been trying very hard to be on time every day. I have had a definite set back in the past few days. I feel terrible about it and will work extremely hard to correct it. It’s difficult to change a lifetime habit instantly, but I really am doing my best.
Also, I’m sorry about any attitude that I appeared to be having last week. I work very hard when I’m here and I normally have a great attitude (in my opinion). I try to be encouraging toward other people and I’m very dedicated to getting as many files funded as possible. I hate to think that I was giving off any impression of not wanting to have this job.
I’m really so fortunate to be emplyed by Finance America. Having worked for a broker for two years, I know what it’s like to have unstable employment. I’m so thankful that I now work in an environment that I feel is stable, where I enjoy what I do, where I get along with my co-workers and where people are appreciated for their hard work.
I’m so sorry if you regret giving me this opportunity in the first place, especially if you feel like I’m now not living up to my appointment. Please know that I will do my best to improve in any way I can. The tardiness will always be difficult for me to overcome, but please understand that I am doing my best.
I’m not sure if I'm okay. I just know that C is a fucking whackjob. She tells me that she can’t allow me to be late, because that means she’s playing favorites and she doesn’t play favorites with her employees. That’s a crock. And I don’t understand how she can think that treating someone the way she does is going to make them want to be better or work harder. It’s just stupid intimidation tactics. And, while it may work in the short run, that’s never a good way to treat people. I’m getting so much less work done right now because I’m upset than I would if I came in an hour laet every day.
And she keeps saying that I do such a good job while I’m here, but that I may be fired for my tardiness. I can’t even fathom why you would fire a good employee for such a small thing. And she wanted to know why I’d had another set-back after improving and being on time for a couple of weeks. I told her that it’s because this tardiness is a lifetime habit that I’m trying to break and that’s difficult. She said, "no it’s not. After our last talk, you improved immediately, so it obviously doesn’t take a long time." I told her that yeah, a smoker can quit cold turkey, but they’ll probably slip up and have a cigarette now and then.
That’s when she told me I lied to her in my job interview. That because I told her that I wouldn’t have a problem with the schedule being 8-5, I was telling her that I would never be late. And, if I’d told her the truth, she probably wouldn’t have hired me in the first place. She also said that she has a funder position open, but that she’s not even considering me for it. She says I’m capable and I’d do a great job, but it’s because of these other problems we’re having. You know, "You were late today and Friday, I had to pull you into my office on Thursday because you had a bad attitude."
And the last thing she said to me before I left her office was “I’m just trying to understand.” But she’s not trying. Not at all.
ETA:
C,
I don’t know if you’ll get this email before I talk to you or after, but I have to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being late. I’m sorry for having a bad attitude. I don’t want to lose my job. Ever since our last conversation about tardiness, I’ve been trying very hard to be on time every day. I have had a definite set back in the past few days. I feel terrible about it and will work extremely hard to correct it. It’s difficult to change a lifetime habit instantly, but I really am doing my best.
Also, I’m sorry about any attitude that I appeared to be having last week. I work very hard when I’m here and I normally have a great attitude (in my opinion). I try to be encouraging toward other people and I’m very dedicated to getting as many files funded as possible. I hate to think that I was giving off any impression of not wanting to have this job.
I’m really so fortunate to be emplyed by Finance America. Having worked for a broker for two years, I know what it’s like to have unstable employment. I’m so thankful that I now work in an environment that I feel is stable, where I enjoy what I do, where I get along with my co-workers and where people are appreciated for their hard work.
I’m so sorry if you regret giving me this opportunity in the first place, especially if you feel like I’m now not living up to my appointment. Please know that I will do my best to improve in any way I can. The tardiness will always be difficult for me to overcome, but please understand that I am doing my best.