Venting. (This is bad. If you know me, chances are you're not going to like this)
Hi.
I'm posting.
I didn't mention a name, in my previous post, because it wasn't much of my concern to. Believe what you will.
I'm somewhat altered... stonish, if you will. Not in the drug way... I'm just.. cold and sheltered and ... vastly layered. Someone talks to me and I just stare blankly at them.. just nod when it's necessary to, and then just move on. I don't know why... I don't care much, either. Whatever. I'm tired of people, mainly. Most of them. Friends? Psh. I used to think that friends were amazing people to be around. With all the talking behind, the lacking care, and the insignificance that I seem to play on the most of you...... well fuck you. Ya piss me off, sometimes.
This feeds off of a UO buddy that has decided that she likes to RP and hang out with someone else the minute he's around, instead of with me. Blows me off nearly everytime. And when we are together, we stand around .. or rather, I do.. while she runs around and does this and that, and barely talks. It's just .. blah. Makes me suddenly realize I don't have much need for people. Mostly everyone hurts.. and mostly everyone doesn't care. I'm there for a lot of people.. try to show support, try to show that I'm nice and good and want to be friendly and hang out. Everyone else? Nothin'. Yeah, well, every now and then someone will ask.. why? They need somethin'.. or.. they're SO EXTREMELY BORED that they can actually ask me to hang out. I'm the guy they run to when they're so bored. That's ass. Fuck you. I'm tired of trying to hang out with people - and no one comes to me, either. Reminds me of past times. I had Chris and all of them. Given, out of the entire bunch, I think James was the only one that cared enough to try and get me to be involved... otherwise, they never cared to invite me. Why? Probably because my poor ass can't get a car. That's not my fault. If I had a car, and someone else didn't.. I would *take* the time each time I was hanging out, and go grab them. Why? Because I'm a *friend*. James did that for me a lot. He showed the basics of friendship. He's, for the most part, disregarded from the rest of you.
Life is so short, and I waste so much of that shortened time trying to find out exactly how to be better... it's not me that has to be better.. it's mostly everyone else. I offer to do a lot, and get shit in return. I'm just done.. I'm just done with trying to be helpful for people and trying to show gracious behavior. Most of the people just don't show their worth. I remember talking to Kevin. (I think this'll be forwarded to him, or this portion will, because no one understands the aspect of just "Shut the fuck up, it's not about you." Or better yet... everyone *else* is a friend but me. Screw you fucks.) and he and I were talking. "Well, you should ask *us* to hang out." YOU FUCKING IDIOTS ARE ALL HANGING OUT TOGETHER! It's *your* priority to ask *OTHERS* to hang out, because we're clueless as to you doing something. How the fuck else are all of you together? Did you all just happen to call each other that *exact* day? It's actually impossible. Someone is letting someone else know merely by calling them. You don't all just call each other and suddenly find out. That's not how it works. Nice failed friendships you all delivered.
Okay, and sure, I'm talked to once in a great while online. *Once in a great while*. What. Are you too fucking retarded in life to grasp the concept that it takes more than that? "Well we tried to contact you." Failure. It means bullshit unless you actually show care and do it often. I'm not the one that screwed up being a friend. I was all ways nice and generous and showed interest. The rest did not.
What a venting process. This is a lame ass post, too.. prolly get some weird feedback. I'll tell you what.... you can post it all you will, and let the world hear your B.S replies... frankly, they're very wrong unless you're admitting to be a failure. I'm not going to read them, merely delete them. If you think it's necessary to post, then be my mother fucking guest. .. it's not much of a worth, though.
I'm posting.
I didn't mention a name, in my previous post, because it wasn't much of my concern to. Believe what you will.
I'm somewhat altered... stonish, if you will. Not in the drug way... I'm just.. cold and sheltered and ... vastly layered. Someone talks to me and I just stare blankly at them.. just nod when it's necessary to, and then just move on. I don't know why... I don't care much, either. Whatever. I'm tired of people, mainly. Most of them. Friends? Psh. I used to think that friends were amazing people to be around. With all the talking behind, the lacking care, and the insignificance that I seem to play on the most of you...... well fuck you. Ya piss me off, sometimes.
This feeds off of a UO buddy that has decided that she likes to RP and hang out with someone else the minute he's around, instead of with me. Blows me off nearly everytime. And when we are together, we stand around .. or rather, I do.. while she runs around and does this and that, and barely talks. It's just .. blah. Makes me suddenly realize I don't have much need for people. Mostly everyone hurts.. and mostly everyone doesn't care. I'm there for a lot of people.. try to show support, try to show that I'm nice and good and want to be friendly and hang out. Everyone else? Nothin'. Yeah, well, every now and then someone will ask.. why? They need somethin'.. or.. they're SO EXTREMELY BORED that they can actually ask me to hang out. I'm the guy they run to when they're so bored. That's ass. Fuck you. I'm tired of trying to hang out with people - and no one comes to me, either. Reminds me of past times. I had Chris and all of them. Given, out of the entire bunch, I think James was the only one that cared enough to try and get me to be involved... otherwise, they never cared to invite me. Why? Probably because my poor ass can't get a car. That's not my fault. If I had a car, and someone else didn't.. I would *take* the time each time I was hanging out, and go grab them. Why? Because I'm a *friend*. James did that for me a lot. He showed the basics of friendship. He's, for the most part, disregarded from the rest of you.
Life is so short, and I waste so much of that shortened time trying to find out exactly how to be better... it's not me that has to be better.. it's mostly everyone else. I offer to do a lot, and get shit in return. I'm just done.. I'm just done with trying to be helpful for people and trying to show gracious behavior. Most of the people just don't show their worth. I remember talking to Kevin. (I think this'll be forwarded to him, or this portion will, because no one understands the aspect of just "Shut the fuck up, it's not about you." Or better yet... everyone *else* is a friend but me. Screw you fucks.) and he and I were talking. "Well, you should ask *us* to hang out." YOU FUCKING IDIOTS ARE ALL HANGING OUT TOGETHER! It's *your* priority to ask *OTHERS* to hang out, because we're clueless as to you doing something. How the fuck else are all of you together? Did you all just happen to call each other that *exact* day? It's actually impossible. Someone is letting someone else know merely by calling them. You don't all just call each other and suddenly find out. That's not how it works. Nice failed friendships you all delivered.
Okay, and sure, I'm talked to once in a great while online. *Once in a great while*. What. Are you too fucking retarded in life to grasp the concept that it takes more than that? "Well we tried to contact you." Failure. It means bullshit unless you actually show care and do it often. I'm not the one that screwed up being a friend. I was all ways nice and generous and showed interest. The rest did not.
What a venting process. This is a lame ass post, too.. prolly get some weird feedback. I'll tell you what.... you can post it all you will, and let the world hear your B.S replies... frankly, they're very wrong unless you're admitting to be a failure. I'm not going to read them, merely delete them. If you think it's necessary to post, then be my mother fucking guest. .. it's not much of a worth, though.