my, how you've changed.
11/6/05
i don't know what it is, really. what is so wrong with me that i can't walk into a room and just be ok. i have to frantically search for a familiar face. someone to give me the acknowledgement that i do, in fact, have friends and people who like talking to me. i forget this often.
i laugh at myself for feeling old at shows, yet acting like i am the youngest person there.
i would essentially like to see myself as the human being that i am, capable of much more than what my self-doubt overshadows.
i hope to one day feel accomplished enough to say that i am ready.
ready for a stable relationship. ready to stop putting myself down. ready to keep friendships growing. ready for the world.
until then, i will continue to push myself. and work on my faults.
while watching game show network in my underwear.
i don't know what it is, really. what is so wrong with me that i can't walk into a room and just be ok. i have to frantically search for a familiar face. someone to give me the acknowledgement that i do, in fact, have friends and people who like talking to me. i forget this often.
i laugh at myself for feeling old at shows, yet acting like i am the youngest person there.
i would essentially like to see myself as the human being that i am, capable of much more than what my self-doubt overshadows.
i hope to one day feel accomplished enough to say that i am ready.
ready for a stable relationship. ready to stop putting myself down. ready to keep friendships growing. ready for the world.
until then, i will continue to push myself. and work on my faults.
while watching game show network in my underwear.