kind of a random thought post
I feel in the past few days that I'm falling back in COE ways with my eating. I'm not binging, but I eat more than I should, and at times I worry that I won't be able stop. I do believe it's happening because I've gone x amount of days without purging, but I'm still using food for comfort and emotional reasons. I keep thinking I need to back on track, or I'm going to end up gaining what few pounds I've lost back.
I drove around in my car last night for about 45 minutes listening to Journey and trying to clear my head about everything. Recovery, the current guy situation, Robin once again bugging me about what happened, school, moving.
I told myself during my drive that I'm not ready to die until I know someone is/has been head over heels in love with me, and we were in an actual relationship. Now that I'm starting to learn to love myself, it's time to let someone love me. I believe for the first time in my life, I'm ready for that. Once this has occurs in my life, I'll be ready. I have no regrets looking back on my life. Everything that has happened has shaped me into who I am today, and I'm very content of where I am currently. I've changed so much this year, and it's been for the better.
I went to bed around 2:00 this morning and woke up at 12:30. Goodness! I thought it was going to be around 9:00 or so. Now I feel like my day is completely wasted.
My dreams have been strange side lately and vivid at that. I wake up in the morning wondering if that was really a dream or not. Some of them I wish weren't dreams and occur in every day life.
The weather is rainy and gloomy today.
I haven't heard back from Robin yet. I'm waiting for an email because she's not going to stop bugging me just like that.
I wish I had more friends than I do because then I'd actually have people to call up and say, "Hey, let's go do something!"
Tomorrow's payday, and thank god! I'm broke. I hate not having money.
I need to get serious about working out if I want to get the results I'm looking for.
I drove around in my car last night for about 45 minutes listening to Journey and trying to clear my head about everything. Recovery, the current guy situation, Robin once again bugging me about what happened, school, moving.
I told myself during my drive that I'm not ready to die until I know someone is/has been head over heels in love with me, and we were in an actual relationship. Now that I'm starting to learn to love myself, it's time to let someone love me. I believe for the first time in my life, I'm ready for that. Once this has occurs in my life, I'll be ready. I have no regrets looking back on my life. Everything that has happened has shaped me into who I am today, and I'm very content of where I am currently. I've changed so much this year, and it's been for the better.
I went to bed around 2:00 this morning and woke up at 12:30. Goodness! I thought it was going to be around 9:00 or so. Now I feel like my day is completely wasted.
My dreams have been strange side lately and vivid at that. I wake up in the morning wondering if that was really a dream or not. Some of them I wish weren't dreams and occur in every day life.
The weather is rainy and gloomy today.
I haven't heard back from Robin yet. I'm waiting for an email because she's not going to stop bugging me just like that.
I wish I had more friends than I do because then I'd actually have people to call up and say, "Hey, let's go do something!"
Tomorrow's payday, and thank god! I'm broke. I hate not having money.
I need to get serious about working out if I want to get the results I'm looking for.