:-(
so im back in boytown, liking the same boy as always.
this always happens when i don't see or talk to him for awhile. it makes me sad. i like the one boy i CAN'T have, no matter how hard i try. not that i can have any boy, but i mean i probably have a chance. with him, it's zero. for a realtionship at least. to be completely honest, he's the only "hookup" that i ever really felt anything with. with kyle, i felt nothing. sad, but true especially because both him and this other boy "wanted me" at the same time, yet i chose kyle over the boy. why? i don't know. maybe i felt bad for kyle, abandoning him in the middle of a bad situation. i mean he got the DUI the day after we got together. ask me when i'm drunk and videotape it. i myself would like to hear the honest answer too. every other hookup ive had, NOTHING. maybe it's beacause i keep comparing it to that one boy, the boy that everytime i see i melt, the boy who when he smiles i feel like a little kid in a candy store, the boy who makes me want to drop everything i'm doing to go hang out with him. i could go on for hours about this boy. but could he go on for hours about me? maybe. but i can't say for sure. i wish i could. i also can't say for sure that i want to be with this boy. i know i'd get my heartbroken, he's a notorious heartbreaker. but that's a chance i'm willing to take. maybe i just want to see him, talk to him, or just even be acknowldged by him again. but this boy is busy, he has a life, he has girls chasing after him 24/7. i miss him. :(
uh yeah.
so today i got my new bed! i get my bedding tomorrow and hopefully my furniture too. im so excited my room will be beautiful! i got manny's for dinner aGain tonight. ive had it 3 nights in a row. it's just so good. im getting it tomorrow too. thjis is the first night in over a week that ive been home at this time. it feels so weird! im gonna go take a nice, long, hotttt shower and go lie down in bed and watch 1 tree hill. im way tired and i just packed a fatty bowl of rocky road. i love getting fat.
this always happens when i don't see or talk to him for awhile. it makes me sad. i like the one boy i CAN'T have, no matter how hard i try. not that i can have any boy, but i mean i probably have a chance. with him, it's zero. for a realtionship at least. to be completely honest, he's the only "hookup" that i ever really felt anything with. with kyle, i felt nothing. sad, but true especially because both him and this other boy "wanted me" at the same time, yet i chose kyle over the boy. why? i don't know. maybe i felt bad for kyle, abandoning him in the middle of a bad situation. i mean he got the DUI the day after we got together. ask me when i'm drunk and videotape it. i myself would like to hear the honest answer too. every other hookup ive had, NOTHING. maybe it's beacause i keep comparing it to that one boy, the boy that everytime i see i melt, the boy who when he smiles i feel like a little kid in a candy store, the boy who makes me want to drop everything i'm doing to go hang out with him. i could go on for hours about this boy. but could he go on for hours about me? maybe. but i can't say for sure. i wish i could. i also can't say for sure that i want to be with this boy. i know i'd get my heartbroken, he's a notorious heartbreaker. but that's a chance i'm willing to take. maybe i just want to see him, talk to him, or just even be acknowldged by him again. but this boy is busy, he has a life, he has girls chasing after him 24/7. i miss him. :(
uh yeah.
so today i got my new bed! i get my bedding tomorrow and hopefully my furniture too. im so excited my room will be beautiful! i got manny's for dinner aGain tonight. ive had it 3 nights in a row. it's just so good. im getting it tomorrow too. thjis is the first night in over a week that ive been home at this time. it feels so weird! im gonna go take a nice, long, hotttt shower and go lie down in bed and watch 1 tree hill. im way tired and i just packed a fatty bowl of rocky road. i love getting fat.