Help with fic?
Hi all;
I was wondering if anyone would like to act as a beta reader/consultant for a short fic I'm working on. It's written very much in the style of High Alone, with a section about each member of Akatsuki. I want some opinions on it, as well as someone to read over for errors.
When Deidara sculpts he likes to pretend that he is God. Not an evil God, like Hidan’s Jashin, or the strange God Sir Leader fashioned himself into. No, not like that. He is a pure God, a beautiful God. He is a God who will look upon his creations and smile, and bless them. He loves them after all, each and every one of them. And he will set them free, just as a merciful and loving God should.
They fly away from him, a flurry of beauty concealed in one victorious blast. And that is how he treats humans as well. Not with pity, but with hatred and joy. With the desire of an artist-to make them beautiful.
So he does. He fills the air with his beauty, watches it explode into shards. Deidara is God and he loves it. He will set everyone free, one by one, because Deidara is a loving God. He will love each creation, and with that love he will set it free.
No one returns his love. They hate him, hate him for his violence. Violence, they call it-violence and anger and evil and hatred and insanity. And he hates them back in return for their ignorance. They are mindless, and they should be punished. But their God is a merciful one, and he will let them end in beauty.
No pressure, or anything, but if anyone's interested, let me know, and I can email you the finished draft (it should be done within the next few days!)
Thank you! <3
I was wondering if anyone would like to act as a beta reader/consultant for a short fic I'm working on. It's written very much in the style of High Alone, with a section about each member of Akatsuki. I want some opinions on it, as well as someone to read over for errors.
When Deidara sculpts he likes to pretend that he is God. Not an evil God, like Hidan’s Jashin, or the strange God Sir Leader fashioned himself into. No, not like that. He is a pure God, a beautiful God. He is a God who will look upon his creations and smile, and bless them. He loves them after all, each and every one of them. And he will set them free, just as a merciful and loving God should.
They fly away from him, a flurry of beauty concealed in one victorious blast. And that is how he treats humans as well. Not with pity, but with hatred and joy. With the desire of an artist-to make them beautiful.
So he does. He fills the air with his beauty, watches it explode into shards. Deidara is God and he loves it. He will set everyone free, one by one, because Deidara is a loving God. He will love each creation, and with that love he will set it free.
No one returns his love. They hate him, hate him for his violence. Violence, they call it-violence and anger and evil and hatred and insanity. And he hates them back in return for their ignorance. They are mindless, and they should be punished. But their God is a merciful one, and he will let them end in beauty.
No pressure, or anything, but if anyone's interested, let me know, and I can email you the finished draft (it should be done within the next few days!)
Thank you! <3