crack
Best. Idea. Ever.
From shadhahvar over at chuunin
Make up the most ridiculous OTP you can imagine. And write/art it.
My new OTP?
Tsunade/Kimimaro.
That's right. There are ZERO fics on ff.net with this pairing.
---------------------
It was painful to open his eyes, but that was alright. He knew the sensation well.
The light was blinding, that was new. There was never any light in Sound. He hated light, he wanted to claw at it, drive it away. But his body felt like it was melting, he knew he wouldn't be able to move.
"So, you're waking up?" The voice was unfamiliar, a spear jutting into his ribs. Cold and hard. It was a woman's voice. He hadn't heard a woman's voice in years. He didn't reply. His throat felt tight. But he didn't care. He knew he was sick, he had thought he was dead.
A cool hand pressed against his forehead, trailed down to his throat, fingers probing his neck, feeling his pulse. Sure and slow.
He wanted to turn his head and look at this woman. Her hands were on his chest now, feeling him all over, fingers deftly checking his vitals. He shivered. She smelled like...he didn't know. All his life he had smelled only blood, death and fire. Decay. He couldn't identify her scent. It was soothing. Sweet and musky.
He let his eyes slide shut- just for a moment. His memories were falling back into place. Sand. Sand and death. Fear. He had smelled the fear. He had almost won. Orochimaru-sama... He needed to go back. He couldn't be here, where ever here was.
Slowly, painfully he turned his head. The woman was still looking at him, eyes intent. She was a striking woman, hair pale blond and eyes tawny. She had a fierce look about her, she was a warrior. But her hands were gentle. He saw compassion in her strong face. It repulsed him. He wanted to leave, kill her and leave. It would be so easy...
But although his mind pulsed with fury his body wouldn't listen. He was suspended, paralyzed. He couldn't even speak. He wanted to, he wanted to curse this woman, tell her to leave him alone. Get your hands off of me.
But her touch was gentle and sure, and he felt himself slide back in blissful unconsciousness. He didn't even dream.
She was there again when he woke up. He supposed she was guarding him. He wanted to kill her. He pictured a bone jutting out, piercing her delicate heart. What were they thinking, leaving a woman to guard him?
"You'll be able to move soon." Her voice was hard-edged. No feminine murmurs, gentle pleasantries. "But it will take you a long time to heal. I know you want to go back to your 'master', but you'll just have to suck it up. you're not going anywhere."
Hatred flared up in him again for this granite-eyed woman, he opened his mouth, and found that his voice was working, "You can't heal me. If my master can't, why would a woman like you be able to?" His voice was hoarse, his throat burned. The words didn't come out as scathing as he would have liked.
She laughed, short and sharp and unpleasant, "Your illness is serious, not fatal. I'm guessing that your master, or whoever was taking care of you, was trying to bump you off. They've been pumping shit into your blood for months now, trying to make you die a slow death. Fortunately we found you, or you'd have died in a few weeks."
Not fatal. The words rung in his head, Kabuto. His lips stiffened, he was determined not to let the shock show on his face.
"And," the woman continued, "You should stop bitching at me. I may get violent. Women are emotional right?" She looked as though she would slap him, her cheeks were rapidly colouring. But she didn't raise a hand, and her voice stayed even, "I am Tsunade-sama. The Godaime Hokage of Konohagakure."
"Tsunade." He repeated it involuntarily, masking his shock that she was a village leader. The name was familiar. Orochimaru-sama had mentioned her before, voice burning with distaste. He had, however, grudgingly admitted to her strength, then proclaiming that although she had brute force she would never match him.
"And I know who you are. Kaguya Kimimaro. So don't bother introducing yourself." Her eyes shifted away, voice sardonic.
"I wasn't planning on it." He said, teeth clenched.
"Well, then I'll check back later." Tsunade got up to leave and for the first time he noticed how well-endowed she was. It was attractive, he decided, but he hated her all the more. Exhibitionist.
"Don't I need a guard?" He choked out. She turned around briefly, and laughed.
"I don't need to worry. You're temporarily paralyzed, at least from the neck down. Just so you can heal. And don't even try using your jutsu. You won't be able to." She turned around, golden hair flying by her face and stalked out of the room.
Fuck. He looked down at his limp arm and tried to use his kekkai genkai. Nothing happened. Bitch. One day, he would kill her.
He healed fast. Before three days were up he felt his body start to regain it's strength. He felt his blood begin pumping, faster and faster, his heart sped up. He still couldn't move.
She came a couple times each day, to pump her chakra through him. He loved the feeling, but would never admit it. It felt like she was giving him life. But he never spoke a word to her save curt, one word answers to her questions. She was jocular, brash and disrespectful to him. His hatred only grew, even as he accepted his temporary fate. Once he was healed he would leave, fly back to his master. And then finally, finally he could fulfill Orochimaru-sama's wishes. The thought made him smile.
On the fourth day since he had awoken in the strange hospital Tsunade let him move. She poured her chakra into him, flooding his system, cleansing it. He had never felt more alive. She had been straddling him, hands solid on his chest, then she had reached forward, body warm, and put her arms around him as it to embrace him. She wasn't though, just pulling him into a sitting position. He felt her breasts pressed against his chest and a shiver ran through him. Their eyes met for a moment, her's harsh and glittering, his flat and opaque. She climbed off the bed.
She moved every one of his joints, flexing his fingers, bending and unbending his arms and legs. She massaged his muscles, long fingers breathing life into his stiff body. He hated the sexuality of her touch, the curve of her lips as she concentrated. He tried to activate his jutsu, knock her down and rip out her heart before she even knew what hit her. It still didn't work.
"Don't even try." She murmured, fingers kneading his shoulder blades, "Do I look like a moron?" She reached over and held up his wrist. A chakra bracelet glowed on his wrist, "This is constricting your chakra. You're a prisoner here, don't forget. And don't try to remove the bracelet. It won't work."
He glowered at her, but said nothing. He was a prisoner, he knew it. His weakness proved it.
"Let me leave."
She stopped massaging his back and walked around, coming to face him. She planted both her hands on his shoulders, clamping them around so that he could feel her strength, pulsing through his own body. "I'm not a moron," she repeated, voice low and deadly, "You are dangerous. Fully healed, in Orochimaru's hands you would be one of the biggest threats to this village. I will not surrender you."
"You are not that strong," he spat, face twisting with malice, "I can break you. Just wait, you won't be able to keep a hold on me."
"I think I will." Her eyes flashed, "Don't think that that bracelet will ever be coming off. And it won't weaken either."
"I will find a way." He stared straight into her brazen eyes, challenging her. Her eyes narrowed and in a split second she leaned forward and kissed him square on the lips.
He had no idea what to do. His whole body stiffened as she moved her mouth against his limp one, her tongue snaked through his lips, brushing against his own tongue, the roof of his mouth, the inside of his cheeks. Finally she pulled back, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, eyes glittering triumphantly.
He was speechless, just stared at her, face blank.
"I've seen you look at me. I've felt your body below mine, tense. You're a man, Kaguya. You're a man who's never had a woman before. I could break you."
She climbed off the bed and straightened her top, leaving the room quickly, without giving him a moment to speak. Leaving him alone with the taste of her in his mouth.
-------------
End Part One
Ohhhh yes, there will be a part two.
ETA:
tsunade x kimimaro
it's love <3
From shadhahvar over at chuunin
Make up the most ridiculous OTP you can imagine. And write/art it.
My new OTP?
Tsunade/Kimimaro.
That's right. There are ZERO fics on ff.net with this pairing.
---------------------
It was painful to open his eyes, but that was alright. He knew the sensation well.
The light was blinding, that was new. There was never any light in Sound. He hated light, he wanted to claw at it, drive it away. But his body felt like it was melting, he knew he wouldn't be able to move.
"So, you're waking up?" The voice was unfamiliar, a spear jutting into his ribs. Cold and hard. It was a woman's voice. He hadn't heard a woman's voice in years. He didn't reply. His throat felt tight. But he didn't care. He knew he was sick, he had thought he was dead.
A cool hand pressed against his forehead, trailed down to his throat, fingers probing his neck, feeling his pulse. Sure and slow.
He wanted to turn his head and look at this woman. Her hands were on his chest now, feeling him all over, fingers deftly checking his vitals. He shivered. She smelled like...he didn't know. All his life he had smelled only blood, death and fire. Decay. He couldn't identify her scent. It was soothing. Sweet and musky.
He let his eyes slide shut- just for a moment. His memories were falling back into place. Sand. Sand and death. Fear. He had smelled the fear. He had almost won. Orochimaru-sama... He needed to go back. He couldn't be here, where ever here was.
Slowly, painfully he turned his head. The woman was still looking at him, eyes intent. She was a striking woman, hair pale blond and eyes tawny. She had a fierce look about her, she was a warrior. But her hands were gentle. He saw compassion in her strong face. It repulsed him. He wanted to leave, kill her and leave. It would be so easy...
But although his mind pulsed with fury his body wouldn't listen. He was suspended, paralyzed. He couldn't even speak. He wanted to, he wanted to curse this woman, tell her to leave him alone. Get your hands off of me.
But her touch was gentle and sure, and he felt himself slide back in blissful unconsciousness. He didn't even dream.
She was there again when he woke up. He supposed she was guarding him. He wanted to kill her. He pictured a bone jutting out, piercing her delicate heart. What were they thinking, leaving a woman to guard him?
"You'll be able to move soon." Her voice was hard-edged. No feminine murmurs, gentle pleasantries. "But it will take you a long time to heal. I know you want to go back to your 'master', but you'll just have to suck it up. you're not going anywhere."
Hatred flared up in him again for this granite-eyed woman, he opened his mouth, and found that his voice was working, "You can't heal me. If my master can't, why would a woman like you be able to?" His voice was hoarse, his throat burned. The words didn't come out as scathing as he would have liked.
She laughed, short and sharp and unpleasant, "Your illness is serious, not fatal. I'm guessing that your master, or whoever was taking care of you, was trying to bump you off. They've been pumping shit into your blood for months now, trying to make you die a slow death. Fortunately we found you, or you'd have died in a few weeks."
Not fatal. The words rung in his head, Kabuto. His lips stiffened, he was determined not to let the shock show on his face.
"And," the woman continued, "You should stop bitching at me. I may get violent. Women are emotional right?" She looked as though she would slap him, her cheeks were rapidly colouring. But she didn't raise a hand, and her voice stayed even, "I am Tsunade-sama. The Godaime Hokage of Konohagakure."
"Tsunade." He repeated it involuntarily, masking his shock that she was a village leader. The name was familiar. Orochimaru-sama had mentioned her before, voice burning with distaste. He had, however, grudgingly admitted to her strength, then proclaiming that although she had brute force she would never match him.
"And I know who you are. Kaguya Kimimaro. So don't bother introducing yourself." Her eyes shifted away, voice sardonic.
"I wasn't planning on it." He said, teeth clenched.
"Well, then I'll check back later." Tsunade got up to leave and for the first time he noticed how well-endowed she was. It was attractive, he decided, but he hated her all the more. Exhibitionist.
"Don't I need a guard?" He choked out. She turned around briefly, and laughed.
"I don't need to worry. You're temporarily paralyzed, at least from the neck down. Just so you can heal. And don't even try using your jutsu. You won't be able to." She turned around, golden hair flying by her face and stalked out of the room.
Fuck. He looked down at his limp arm and tried to use his kekkai genkai. Nothing happened. Bitch. One day, he would kill her.
He healed fast. Before three days were up he felt his body start to regain it's strength. He felt his blood begin pumping, faster and faster, his heart sped up. He still couldn't move.
She came a couple times each day, to pump her chakra through him. He loved the feeling, but would never admit it. It felt like she was giving him life. But he never spoke a word to her save curt, one word answers to her questions. She was jocular, brash and disrespectful to him. His hatred only grew, even as he accepted his temporary fate. Once he was healed he would leave, fly back to his master. And then finally, finally he could fulfill Orochimaru-sama's wishes. The thought made him smile.
On the fourth day since he had awoken in the strange hospital Tsunade let him move. She poured her chakra into him, flooding his system, cleansing it. He had never felt more alive. She had been straddling him, hands solid on his chest, then she had reached forward, body warm, and put her arms around him as it to embrace him. She wasn't though, just pulling him into a sitting position. He felt her breasts pressed against his chest and a shiver ran through him. Their eyes met for a moment, her's harsh and glittering, his flat and opaque. She climbed off the bed.
She moved every one of his joints, flexing his fingers, bending and unbending his arms and legs. She massaged his muscles, long fingers breathing life into his stiff body. He hated the sexuality of her touch, the curve of her lips as she concentrated. He tried to activate his jutsu, knock her down and rip out her heart before she even knew what hit her. It still didn't work.
"Don't even try." She murmured, fingers kneading his shoulder blades, "Do I look like a moron?" She reached over and held up his wrist. A chakra bracelet glowed on his wrist, "This is constricting your chakra. You're a prisoner here, don't forget. And don't try to remove the bracelet. It won't work."
He glowered at her, but said nothing. He was a prisoner, he knew it. His weakness proved it.
"Let me leave."
She stopped massaging his back and walked around, coming to face him. She planted both her hands on his shoulders, clamping them around so that he could feel her strength, pulsing through his own body. "I'm not a moron," she repeated, voice low and deadly, "You are dangerous. Fully healed, in Orochimaru's hands you would be one of the biggest threats to this village. I will not surrender you."
"You are not that strong," he spat, face twisting with malice, "I can break you. Just wait, you won't be able to keep a hold on me."
"I think I will." Her eyes flashed, "Don't think that that bracelet will ever be coming off. And it won't weaken either."
"I will find a way." He stared straight into her brazen eyes, challenging her. Her eyes narrowed and in a split second she leaned forward and kissed him square on the lips.
He had no idea what to do. His whole body stiffened as she moved her mouth against his limp one, her tongue snaked through his lips, brushing against his own tongue, the roof of his mouth, the inside of his cheeks. Finally she pulled back, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, eyes glittering triumphantly.
He was speechless, just stared at her, face blank.
"I've seen you look at me. I've felt your body below mine, tense. You're a man, Kaguya. You're a man who's never had a woman before. I could break you."
She climbed off the bed and straightened her top, leaving the room quickly, without giving him a moment to speak. Leaving him alone with the taste of her in his mouth.
-------------
End Part One
Ohhhh yes, there will be a part two.
ETA:
tsunade x kimimaro
it's love <3