So, Im just gonna say it.....
Im slightly depressed. Enough so that I think it would do me a world of good to be back on anti-depressants.
Can I tell you a list of things I hate?
* I HATE that my house is not organized and clean. You must have known that already though as that is a fav topic of mine to write about. I know, Im like a broken record. All I can say is Im sorry.
* I am FULLY aware that the only way it will ever GET organized and clean is if I get my ass off of LJ, FB, blogs, Pinterest and e-mail.
* I HATE seeing pictures of girls I used to know who have kids and their pictures seem* like they have it all together. Like, they will be so skinny and their kid is only 6 months old.
* I hate that I have gained so much weight. Really, I almost never feel confident in the way I look. I used to be a size 4, sometimes 2. Why can other moms lose so much weight and resist fattening foods and I cant?? Why do I have to love sweets so much??
*I hate that from the moment Ryder wakes up in the morning he is on my nerves. This is partially Lucy's fault. Whenever she got an ear infection she dropped her normal amount of eating. So she started waking up in the middle of the night hungry, so I started feeding her in the middle of the night again. I was just happy she was eating. Now, its like we are back to having a newborn. She wakes up to eat every single night at about 3:30. And from then on she is in the bed with us. So I am tired. So hearing Ryder ask me the same question, having him bounce off the walls the moment he is up is just too much for me. This morning when i was taking him into school I thanked God that his teachers were going to have him for three hours. How wrong is that?
Ugh. I need to snap out of this. Its just been getting worse and worse though. I need drive. I feel like a waste of human.
Can I tell you a list of things I hate?
* I HATE that my house is not organized and clean. You must have known that already though as that is a fav topic of mine to write about. I know, Im like a broken record. All I can say is Im sorry.
* I am FULLY aware that the only way it will ever GET organized and clean is if I get my ass off of LJ, FB, blogs, Pinterest and e-mail.
* I HATE seeing pictures of girls I used to know who have kids and their pictures seem* like they have it all together. Like, they will be so skinny and their kid is only 6 months old.
* I hate that I have gained so much weight. Really, I almost never feel confident in the way I look. I used to be a size 4, sometimes 2. Why can other moms lose so much weight and resist fattening foods and I cant?? Why do I have to love sweets so much??
*I hate that from the moment Ryder wakes up in the morning he is on my nerves. This is partially Lucy's fault. Whenever she got an ear infection she dropped her normal amount of eating. So she started waking up in the middle of the night hungry, so I started feeding her in the middle of the night again. I was just happy she was eating. Now, its like we are back to having a newborn. She wakes up to eat every single night at about 3:30. And from then on she is in the bed with us. So I am tired. So hearing Ryder ask me the same question, having him bounce off the walls the moment he is up is just too much for me. This morning when i was taking him into school I thanked God that his teachers were going to have him for three hours. How wrong is that?
Ugh. I need to snap out of this. Its just been getting worse and worse though. I need drive. I feel like a waste of human.