School inspiration....
So im at school right now and theres this thing thats been kinda...naggin in my brain since last night and i haven't had time to write it down till now...in third hour cuz i'm dont with the work we're doing. so..this is just for me so you guys dont have to read it. and theres no spell check...so you'll have to bare with me if you do, infact, read this. its just something i might put in my book.
The pipes screeched as she turned on the water. While it was warming she stripped off her close and stared at herself in the mirror. Damnit, she thought, I really got to change that. Steam began pooring over the shower glass door so she knew it was hot now. She stepped into the shower letting the water run over her body for a little while before moving at all. She was thinking. What amd I going to do about this? I can never focus when we start talking...I just...start thinking about other things. Anirexic...I can go anirexic. Once again the thought of starving herself to get instantly thinner flooded her mind. It was a frequent thought that she couldn't share with anyone. Not even the man of her dreams. He absolutely hated the thought of her starving herself. He'd known a girl, his life long family friend. She'd died after becoming annirexic and everytime he was forced to talk about her, Shana was her name, tears came to his eyes and his throat closed up a little. He only talked about Shana when she had started to talk about going annirexic herself. The thought of losing the one thing left in the world that he loved was just too much for him.
Anirexia, she continued thinking, It's not so bad. I wont...die. He's crazy. Who cares about Shana anyway, shes dead and I'm alive. You've got to learn to live in the present, not the past. Hey, that's something I should tell him tonight. Alex, I'll say, you've got to learn to live in the now and not in the then.
She was just begining to lather her hair with shampoo when it fell off. The hemp bracelet he'd made for her. It had been a spur of the moment kind of thing. They'd decided they wanted something to symbolize their love, but rings were out of the picture and so totally not hip, so hemp braclets were prefect because of the fact that he could wear it without being made fun of at school. They'd made a promise to eachother to wear them for as long as their relationship lasted. (The exact quote would be "we've got to wear them 'till the day we die" because they were certain they would get married after she'd finished college.) She heard the small tan beed hit the floor of the bathtub and looked down just in time to see half of it sticking out of the drain and this half slowly becoming a third then soon a fourth.
She bent over so quickly to pick it up that she hit her head on the nobs of the shower. "Fuck," she mumbled. She wasn't alloud to curse...at least as far as her father was concerned, but she'd stopped caring abut what he thought long ago.
She grabbed the braclet up from the drain, and in the nick of time too, and slowly facend it around her right wrist again. She ran her fingers over the bead, remembering the night they'd made these and the fabulous sex they'd had afterward. That was when she rememberd how much she loved him and hated how she created drama just to have something to talk about to her girlfriends. After all, they had pleanty of drama to be told, it would do them good to shut their mouths and listen for a change. She rememberd the tree they'd carved their names into two days before she went away for seven whole weeks over their summer vacation. Those seven weeks were undboutably the longest she'd ever endured. They made love for the first time just before she went away something, when looking back on it now, in the shower, she thought of as something rather stupid because she was quickly hooked on the act and having to go seven weeks without any sort of sexual pleasure was certainly harder than anyone should ever have to endure.
Anirexia. That damn word kept popping into her head. She couldn't help but be dieing to be skinny. It was a very common trend now. Skinny was good, over 115 pounds was absolutely out of the question. She'd tried dieting but didn't have the will power to resist things like chocolate. Especially the week before and durring "that time of the month". She'd tried excersize...it was working for the most part, and she was getting some pretty nice abb muscles building up, if she did say so herslef. But she soon found out that muscle actually weighs more than fat and eventually she began gaining weight as she gained muscle mass. She'd conciderd balemia but realized that one of the things she hated most to do was throw up...that just wasn't going to be an option. Anirexia was the only option left. She had no choice. The worst part was, she'd have to keep it a complete secret from him. She wasn't exactly sure how she was going to do that though, being as how they ate lunch together every single day. Saying she wasn't hungry was deffinatly not going to cut it. He could she right through her.
bells about to ring..gotta jam!
p.s.
i love him