Breakdown (RP with shadeof_grey and iron_tony)

[starspangledcap]

[OOC: House of TM RP with shadeof_grey and iron_tony. Takes place after this last night of happiness, on the morning of Steve and Tony's anniversary party.]

“Stop!” Wanda yelled, holding her hands out in front of her. Steve found himself frozen, his face twisted into a grotesque, rage-filled grimace, his blood burning with anger-at Tony, at himself, at Wanda and

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[shadeof_grey]

Jean had been having a rough few days, an undeniable fact that had been handling, in her usual factor, by trying to ignore it. Since the disastrous shopping trip with Neena, she had been staying in her room whenever she wasn't absolutely needed, and sleeping a lot. Of course, the dreams only made it worse.

The one comfort that was sustaining her was that she was surrounded by people who were stronger and more assured than she was. Wanda was fine, Tony was fine, Steve was fine. Especially Steve. Steve was as solid and dependable as they came.

So, on the morning of the party, the last thing she expected was to be awoken by a psychic distress call from Steve. Hastily she pulled on her robe and ran to the bathroom. Knocking on the door, she said, "What's wrong?" She tried to pretend that she wasn't hearing what she was hearing, but there was no way to deny the thoughts she was picking up. They were too distressed and scattered to understand, but whatever it was, it had to be bad. "Please open the door, Steve."

*OOC -- OMG, tagging finally at last, so sorry!

[starspangledcap]

Steve heard Jean's voice on the other side of the door. She'd come more quickly than he'd expected. Looking down, he felt suddenly embarrased; he didn't want Jean to see him like this, half-naked and clinging to a toilet. Standing up, he reached for one of the robes hanging on the door and pulled it on over his boxer-clad form, realizing only belatedly that it was actually Tony's robe. It smelled like him. Steve tried very hard to ignore that fact.

Tying the belt of the robe, he turned to the sink and quickly rinsed the vomit out of his mouth before opening the door and motioning for Jean to come in.

"We have to speak telepathically. I don't want to wake Tony," he said. His voice wasn't loud, but it was still his battle voice, clear and crisp and commanding, simulating a confidence he couldn't make himself feel.

When Jean was safely inside the room and the door was shut behind them, Steve opened his mind. Something is very, very wrong, Jean, he sent. And I think... I think you know that, though maybe you don't consciously realize it.

His mental voice trembled in a way his verbal one never did.

[OOC: Edited because I can never leave well enough alone. And no need to apologize!]

[shadeof_grey]

Jean felt the color wash out of her skin. Steve wasn't supposed to have doubts. Not Steve.

You're right. There's something going on, someone I don't trust -- Jean hesitated. It was actually very hard to lie, telepathically, especially to someone who knew her as well as Steve did. But she couldn't say it was Wanda who was giving her suspicions. She might be wrong. She wanted to be wrong. Somebody's doing something to make the world wrong. I think it might be Domino.

[starspangledcap]

Steve shook his head. It's not Domino, he said, hesitantly.

Inwardly, he cringed. So Jean knew something, but not as much as he did. And now he was going to have to tell her - he was going to have to tell a woman who considered him to be one of her closest friends (in this world, at least; in the old world they'd barely known each other, and Steve wasn't sure which of those relationships counted more) that she'd been dragged into a fantasy world against her will. He thought of his own reactions, just moments earlier; he thought of the turmoil still going on in his brain, the way he felt two seconds away from breaking. He didn't want to inflict that on another human being. Maybe they could leave the world be, for a little longer. Maybe he could just pretend...

No. They had to do this. No matter how much it would hurt.

Last night, he explained, taking the gentlest route, when I fought Madame Morpho, she did something to me. I don't know what. But when I woke up this morning, I had memories - full memories - of a world that isn't this one. Memories that include the world changing over. And though this Morpho woman is obviously involved somehow, the main instigator was... He pauses. This is the point of no return.

Wanda.

[shadeof_grey]

No. Jean whirled on him and, staring Steve in the eyes, she started to levitate him off the ground. No, she answered. The butterflies change things. It's a lie.

[starspangledcap]

Jean, he said, his mental voice even, even as he felt his feet rising. It was always easier to remain calm when the people around him were more panicked. Read my mind. I don't want to do this to you, but it's the only way. Read my mind, and you'll know the truth.

[shadeof_grey]

And why . . .?

Jean lifted him higher, pushing him up against the door.

Why do we want YOUR truth?

[starspangledcap]

Steve knew he should be scared. He'd never faced the Phoenix himself, in either timeline, but he knew she held awesome power. But everything he'd been through in the past few hours - the past few months in the old world - had brought him nearly past his breaking point. If the Phoenix killed him, he honestly wasn't sure it would be such a bad thing. And, terrifying though that thought was, it did give him a certain reckless bravery.

You want my truth, he sent back, though he wasn't sure if he was speaking mentally or verbally or both, because it's the real truth. And that's what you want.

Then he softened. Jean, he continued, straining against the force that was battering him into the doorframe. He refused to direct his speech toward the Phoenix. I know this isn't easy to accept. Believe me, I know. But you have to. We have to fix this.

[shadeof_grey]

He wouldn't lie to her. Steve wouldn't. She doesn't know why he's saying these things, though -- and then she lets herself into his mind, and she knows.

Jean lets Steve drop, and she lunges toward the medicine cabinet. She doesn't have to think about what she's doing. The Phoenix has her, but for the moment that she comes to herself, Jean is in control. But the Phoenix has her, and there is only one thing to do with the Phoenix. She tears through the cabinet, looking for something sharp. She isn't even thinking about Captain America. He doesn't matter.

[starspangledcap]

Steve falls heavily to the floor, landing in a crouch, and he manages to hold his balance only through effort. Jean's face suddenly takes on a frantic expression, and before he can register what she's doing she's rummaged through the medicine cabinet and is holding a razor in his hand - not the electric razor Tony uses, but the unadorned, well-sharpened straight razor he calls his own.

"Jean, what are you doing?" he cries, not even bothering with telepathy anymore. He doesn't know if she's herself or the Phoenix, if she's regained her memories or not, but there's a terrifyingly manic gleam in her eye. Without thinking, he lunges across the room, grabbing her wrists in both hands.

[shadeof_grey]

She jams her elbow into his chest, giving herself leverage to point the edge of the blade at her neck. It's now or never it's now, it's now --

And her body goes rigid, hot. She can feel the pressure as her pupils dilate. NO! says the Phoenix, and the razor spins out of her hand. The blunt edge hits Cap's shoulder and ricochets. Falling to the floor, the sharp blade lands across Steve's foot.

Jean gasps. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't --" She stares at the blade. "Steve, it won't let me."

[starspangledcap]

Steve doesn't even notice the pain in his shoulder or foot; he heals much more quickly than the average human, and with all that he's experienced in his life this isn't even the equivalent of a papercut. He bends down, picking up the razor and tossing it into the bathtub behind him. It doesn't matter where he puts it, since Jean could retrieve it again with barely a thought, but he thinks it's better to put it out of sight.

"Don't apologize, Jean," he says, his voice gentle. "For my part, I'm glad it won't let you." He knows what she was trying to do, of course, and though he may not be in a position to be saying anything, considering the near-suicidal thoughts he was having a minute ago, he's not about to let her go through with it. "You should never take life for granted, no matter how awful it is."

He reaches out a hand, placing it on Jean's shoulder. He isn't afraid of the Phoenix. They're on the same side of this argument.

[shadeof_grey]

Jean's hands grip Cap's arms.

"We've died too many times, Steve. We're not allowed to die anymore. But if Jean can't die, you know what you and I need to do."

Leaning close to him, her face almost touching his face. "You'll help us kill that bitch."

[starspangledcap]

"Kill?" Steve's eyes widen, and he steps back as far as he can with Jean's nails still digging into his arms. Angry as he is at Wanda right now, angry and frustrated and confused, he won't even consider the thought.

"No, we're not killing anyone, Jean. We don't do that. We're going to confront Wanda and make her turn the world right again. And after that, we'll decide what to do. But we won't kill her."

[shadeof_grey]

Jean sat back against the sink, crossing her arms across her chest.

She felt the fire draining out of her, and it was only Jean's voice that said, quietly but audibly, "Have you asked her what she wants?"

[starspangledcap]

"Isn't it obvious what she wants? This whole world is what she wants. But we can't let her use everyone else as a puppet to get that."

Steve has to wonder, though, how much they're really "puppets." How much of this is what Wanda wants, and how much of it is what they all, in their most private moments, want for themselves? He doesn't really know the answer, but it doesn't matter. The world needs to be set right.