so many emotions
everything's so crazy right now. i'm just in the worst mood today or rather right now.
i went out to eat with some family tonight...and my granny and my pawpaw were asking me what i was doing for my birthday next weekend..and they asked me if i wanted to go out to eat. i really didn't say anything because that's really not what i want to do. i was kinda being rude about it, and that was very bad on my part.
we were eating at dinner and stuff..and i can kinda tell that my pawpaw isn't doing very well. it just makes me really sad, because i'm soo close to him. i'm scared to death.
then i get home and my mom gripes me out..telling me that i was being rude..and i deserved her gripping me out...then she says 'did you get a good look at your pawpaw?' i said 'yea..he's not doing good is he?' and she told me no. that he has lost ten pounds in the past week, and that my granny was taking him to the doctor next week. i'm so so scared. then she said that he probably won't be here for my seventeenth birthday. it just makes really sad, and now i'm crying.
i'm not doing so good right now. i lied to rachel about how i'm feeling right now. i told that i'm getting better, and stuff. the truth is i'm not. i think i'm getting worse. i'm just really scared to say something to someone, but then again i don't trust myself. i mean it's not very normal to be so emotional as i am and to cry every day..i mean i'm not okay, and i'm not healthy at all. i just worry way too much. i'm just scared. i really really need someone i can talk to here (angleton:home).
i went out to eat with some family tonight...and my granny and my pawpaw were asking me what i was doing for my birthday next weekend..and they asked me if i wanted to go out to eat. i really didn't say anything because that's really not what i want to do. i was kinda being rude about it, and that was very bad on my part.
we were eating at dinner and stuff..and i can kinda tell that my pawpaw isn't doing very well. it just makes me really sad, because i'm soo close to him. i'm scared to death.
then i get home and my mom gripes me out..telling me that i was being rude..and i deserved her gripping me out...then she says 'did you get a good look at your pawpaw?' i said 'yea..he's not doing good is he?' and she told me no. that he has lost ten pounds in the past week, and that my granny was taking him to the doctor next week. i'm so so scared. then she said that he probably won't be here for my seventeenth birthday. it just makes really sad, and now i'm crying.
i'm not doing so good right now. i lied to rachel about how i'm feeling right now. i told that i'm getting better, and stuff. the truth is i'm not. i think i'm getting worse. i'm just really scared to say something to someone, but then again i don't trust myself. i mean it's not very normal to be so emotional as i am and to cry every day..i mean i'm not okay, and i'm not healthy at all. i just worry way too much. i'm just scared. i really really need someone i can talk to here (angleton:home).