im going to tell you a story.
I'm afraid of the future but I'm terrfied because I dont know my place in it. I dont know where I will be but I fear that too much will change except the sadness I feel at times. I wish I could see into the future..who wouldnt. I think I gave up along time ago on trying to create a good life , a good education for myself. I guess I just lost hope and soon I didnt care, but it seems that reality is like a slap on the face. I know I could have applied me self more to get into a great college and have a forfilled independent life but would I be happy? The truth is i'm not ready to grow up and yes I know that really know one is but I seem to avoid it at all costs. To me its death and I feel this need to sheld it from my life , ive become so dependant that at times I cant even take care of myself and maybe I dont want to. I always say that I wanna die when I'm 30, yes maybe you could call me a vain and selfish person but its more than the image of age but the feeling that I dont have a future, that I was meant to die young.I feel so alone but its my own fault ive learned to avoid everything Ive never wanted to face ,growing up, problems even people. Why cant the past be the past. I seem to dwell in it. Why cant I let it go?