I am.
I am not alone but it sure feels that way sometimes. I have shut down evrything outside of this one. My last refuge for the written therapy. I used to keep it all inside. The agony and heart wrenching darkness was overwhelming. It nearly killed me. I nearly killed me.
Thats why it has to get out even if no one is watching. Even if its in a little corner no one knows about.
Im not talking about it anymore except with only those i know i can trust. I wanted to die for the first time in decades. I wont do it. Too stubborn. love them too much. That dont change the feeling though.
And yet in the midst of this darkness I have joy. the goodness of God is ovwrwhelming.
It swallows the dark and me with it.
I am loved.