Fic: LoveJoy
LoveJoy | 2, 299 words
PG-13 (strong language) | Bert McCracken/Gerard Way | AU
Written to abstract_silver for bert_and_gerard's secret slashy sweetheart. Written under catbrains, beta'd by periculosa.
“This is us,” and that really was the truth. It was Friday night and the entire day had been uneventful, so Gerard figured lying out on the grass would be somewhat better. It wasn’t, but they lied there out back anyway and watched the stars. Gerard's eyebrows knitted together and he repeatedly scratched parts of his face while reflecting. This is us, he thought and eventually said out loud, “We’ve got the world fucked over.”
Mikey wasn’t really listening to Gerard, but he nodded and laughed anyway. It was fucking freezing, his skin was starting to itch from being on the grass, and he had a date in an hour and he couldn’t figure out why he agreed to go. The full moon was clear up in the sky, though, and Mikey guessed that was pretty damn cool. So Mikey listened out for werewolves.
The sound of crickets chirping was the only thing Bert heard. He felt like those bugs planned to slowly drive him nuts by being as obnoxious as they could, or maybe Gerard did, or Mikey wanted to get back at Bert for eating that slice of pie that Mikey kept reminding them that he was saving for later. Gerard would definitely conspire against Bert for Mikey, because brothers stick together like that or something.
“I need a beer, anyone want one?” Bert jumped up to his feet, eager for the excuse to leave those damn crickets for a couple minutes.
“Actually, I have a date,” Mikey stood up from the ground and brushed off any dirt or grass that might have gotten on him. “But have fun not getting laid without me.”
“What ever happened to bros before hos?” Gerard shouted out to Mikey, who already left.
“So, can we go inside now or do you need more time to be one with the environment or some shit?” Gerard always had trouble saying no to Bert, which led to bad things most of the time, so he held out his arms while he waited for Bert to lift him up before heading inside and crashing onto the couch. Besides, doing pointless stuff wasn’t the same for Gerard unless Mikey and Bert were both by his side.
Everyone always knew them as GerardMikeyandBert. And even though it hadn’t always been that way, anyone who had known them when they were just Mikey or just Gerard or just Bert still couldn’t imagine anything other than GerardMikeyandBert. Neither of them minded, because they honestly couldn’t see themselves separated either.
*
Bert dropped out of highschool, went and got a tattoo, and made out with Thomas McGregor on his mother’s couch the week he turned eighteen. He didn’t have to ask questions when suitcases full of his clothes were sitting in the entrance hall when he got home. They sent him away to his Aunt Marie’s house, but he ran away in less than a month. He had stolen enough money from his aunt to buy a plane ticket to New York City and have a little left to last a couple days out on the street.
The rest of Bert’s story changes every time he tells it. Though, it’s an actual known fact that he did later find out that his parents didn’t bother to report him missing. But they sent him money for a little while so he shrugged it off.
He always ends his story with meeting Gerard and calling that his greatest accomplishment.
*
Other than being an artist, Gerard never had any realistic goals. There were a lot of times he doubted himself, but from the start it was in Gerard’s blood to draw.
He made it to art school in New York City and, okay, so he didn’t exactly graduate like he had planned; but he sold a drawing and had really been sick of school and started to get depressed and thought he could make it all on his own. Gerard’s mom was nice enough to offer Gerard a home again, and he almost left until he met Bert. That was when he decided to stay in New York City.
*
New York was the only option for Mikey by the time he graduated High School. Gerard offered him a place to live over there and Mikey always had this little urge in him to follow in his brother’s footsteps. Except, he promised his mother he would finish his bachelor’s degree, and he really was going to, and had everything in check. Until Bert moved in with them and everything was perfect but just too small, and Gerard and Bert both agreed they should move away from the city. (“To Buffalo, man. I mean, fuck, the Niagara Falls and shit,” Bert said, even though why Buffalo still didn’t make sense.)
Mikey really wanted to go, so he kind of dropped out and they moved.
*
One night, Gerard walked in on his brother and Bert making out on Bert’s bed. Mikey was actually the one who made a scene out of it, since Bert figured he couldn’t get mad at Gerard since they never once gave each other privacy. And Gerard always buried his emotions, figuring he’d cave whenever he’d cave, and hoped there wouldn’t be any gun around when he did
Mikey stormed out the door, got drunk, got laid by some chick, and when he came home the next morning Gerard and Bert were making a mess out of the kitchen with pancake mix and talking about what it would be like if they were Ghostbusters.
“We’d probably have to make Mikey our secretary or he’d vaporize us or some shit,” Bert said, knowing Mikey was standing by the kitchen entrance.
“Fuck you.” Mikey walked in and grabbed a cup of already brewed coffee. “I’d be the fucking best Ghostbuster in the world. Gerard’ll probably be the one who screams like a girl at the sight of a ghost.”
“You look like shit,” Gerard piped back, holding his nose, “and smell like it too.” And that was the only comment ever made that was remotely relevant to that night.
*
“I jacked off to Bert last night.” Gerard and Mikey were eating out for once in forever.
“Eww,” Mikey made face before throwing a crumpled up napkin at Gerard. “Why would I want to know that?”
“Because I already told Bert and I didn’t want you to get all whiny and whatever because I didn’t tell you.” Gerard took a sip from his coffee. “You know, that whole don’t keep stuff from each other rule we made a long time ago.”
“How about a new rule? Keep your sexual fantasies to yourself. Actually, keep anything related to your sex life to yourself.” Mikey rolled his eyes before going back to his food. It was a few good minutes before Mikey looked back to Gerard. “Do you like him?”
“Do you?” Gerard shot back.
“I have a girlfriend,” he said. And he did. She was really into Mikey and even invited him over to meet her family, but he freaked and hid from her for a few days. Bert originally gave them two weeks, but she still clung to him and called him everyday and even forgave him when he ignored her, so Bert changed it to a month before Mikey commits suicide or becomes a mass murderer. Gerard said it’s for real, but he always said that about Mikey’s girlfriends and they always broke up within a month.
“We had sex. Twice,” Gerard croaked out and Mikey, for once, didn’t overreact. Though, he hadn’t expected that at all. “And he humps me and he kisses me a lot and stuff.”
“He kisses everyone and he’s humped Mom, dude.” He wanted to say that he had sex with everyone, too, but he hoped to God that wasn’t true or he’d have to kick some serious ass - and lose.
“He wants go to his hometown. To get rid of his demons or flip off his mom and burn her house or something like that,” Gerard said, changing the subject.
“Fuck, man, totally!”
*
When they went to Bert’s hometown, Mikey was single and looking so they all went over to what they hoped was a bar full of hot college girls. The place turns out to be the dark cave people in that city go to when they want to drink away their sorrows. They got drunk anyway and were lucky enough to have rented a hotel room across the street, so they went there and trashed the place a little before passing out.
Turns out his parents ended up moving out of town, so he decided to go to where his Aunt Marie lived instead. She opened the door, saw Bert’s face, and slammed the door on him.
They went around the city before deciding to just go home early, feeling unaccomplished.
*
Mikey almost burned down the house once, so they decided to keep all the appliances in Gerard’s bathroom (“I get the extra bath ‘cause I paid most for this house.” “Grandma only gave you most of her money as inheritance, because she knew you would have ended up living in Mom’s basement all your life.”), and Mikey couldn’t use anything in there unless supervised by another adult.
All three of them were crowded in Gerard’s restroom trying to do different tasks involving different appliances. And when Bert told Gerard, “I kind of love you,” Mikey decided to take his straightener into the other bathroom and no one stopped him.
“You’re burning your shirt.” Bert pointed to the shirt Gerard was ironing. Gerard didn’t care that he was ruining his favorite shirt, though, because when he nodded that yes, he did in fact feel the same, Bert nodded back to confirm the feelings again.
After that, they had to move all of Mikey’s stuff in the other bathroom, because Gerard burned his favorite shirt and you could even smell smoke.
*
They decide to go to Church one Sunday even though Bert was supposed to be a Mormon, Gerard was a gay asswipe who made out with Bert in the bathrooms, and Mikey was only there to meet hot chicks. They also decided to leave in the middle of a sermon and go out for ice cream and cigarettes, instead.
Bert and Gerard ended up making out everywhere they went, leaving Mikey to go fend for himself. At an arcade, he met this woman and started to chat her up until Bert almost blew his chance by pretending to be his gay lover. Gerard got jealous, though, and ended up grabbing him and taking him to some zombie shooting game where they ended up arguing about who would get bitten first during a real zombie apocalypse. This got them calmly kicked out by the manager of the place, because two grown adults fighting in an arcade can’t be good.
It gives them a chance to give each other handjobs in the car before Mikey comes out.
*
Someone referred to them as GerardandBert, and Mikey didn’t come home until the next morning. There was no doubt that GerardMikeyandBert became GerardandBert, but Mikey didn’t want to hear it. It felt like someone stabbed him right in the gut and said, “Three’s a crowd, just get the fuck out.”
Mikey coming home to an empty house didn’t help either. He sat in his room sulking for an entire hour before deciding to call Gerard, but when he went through the numbers in his cell phone, he saw the number he received from that woman working in the arcade. He calls her, instead.
*
Mikey and that woman from the arcade (Alicia is her name) were dating for eight months, when Mikey decided to propose to her. It’d be normal for Bert to think they were rushing, but it was Mikey and he knew Mikey was doing the right thing. Gerard, on the other hand, was scared about losing his little brother, and tried to make a list. Bert got him to give Mikey a blessing instead.
*
The day Mikey moved out was the saddest day in their lives. They didn’t cry or give any motivational speeches, which was a first for Gerard, but Gerard and Bert both clung to Mikey, not wanting to let go. Alicia had to pry them apart. Gerard loaded the last box of Mikey’s belongings into the truck and he and Bert watched as Mikey left. Even though they knew he was probably coming back to visit every free hour he had, with an empty room in their house it just wasn’t the same.
Bert and Gerard were sprawled on the couch together, watching some really psychedelic, freaky Asian movie, with weird colors constantly flashing on the screen, that night. Bert threw popcorn at Gerard’s head to get his attention.
“Wanna know something?” Bert smirked, which naturally scared Gerard sometimes. “I never made out with Thomas McGregor on my mom’s couch. He kicked me in the balls, though. I swore revenge on him.”
Gerard laughed, shook his head, and kicked at Bert’s feet. He looked back over to the screen and thought about getting back into drawing and turning Mikey’s room into an art studio. He thought about going back to school for a second, but decided NYC was a bunch of bullcrap anyway.
This was what was supposed to happen. Hos before Bros, making out with your gay lover in front of the elderly, and being thirty but still wearing Batman pajama bottoms to bed every night. Yeah, the world was a pretty fucked up place but Gerard was glad they fucked it over before it could fuck with them.
PG-13 (strong language) | Bert McCracken/Gerard Way | AU
Written to abstract_silver for bert_and_gerard's secret slashy sweetheart. Written under catbrains, beta'd by periculosa.
“This is us,” and that really was the truth. It was Friday night and the entire day had been uneventful, so Gerard figured lying out on the grass would be somewhat better. It wasn’t, but they lied there out back anyway and watched the stars. Gerard's eyebrows knitted together and he repeatedly scratched parts of his face while reflecting. This is us, he thought and eventually said out loud, “We’ve got the world fucked over.”
Mikey wasn’t really listening to Gerard, but he nodded and laughed anyway. It was fucking freezing, his skin was starting to itch from being on the grass, and he had a date in an hour and he couldn’t figure out why he agreed to go. The full moon was clear up in the sky, though, and Mikey guessed that was pretty damn cool. So Mikey listened out for werewolves.
The sound of crickets chirping was the only thing Bert heard. He felt like those bugs planned to slowly drive him nuts by being as obnoxious as they could, or maybe Gerard did, or Mikey wanted to get back at Bert for eating that slice of pie that Mikey kept reminding them that he was saving for later. Gerard would definitely conspire against Bert for Mikey, because brothers stick together like that or something.
“I need a beer, anyone want one?” Bert jumped up to his feet, eager for the excuse to leave those damn crickets for a couple minutes.
“Actually, I have a date,” Mikey stood up from the ground and brushed off any dirt or grass that might have gotten on him. “But have fun not getting laid without me.”
“What ever happened to bros before hos?” Gerard shouted out to Mikey, who already left.
“So, can we go inside now or do you need more time to be one with the environment or some shit?” Gerard always had trouble saying no to Bert, which led to bad things most of the time, so he held out his arms while he waited for Bert to lift him up before heading inside and crashing onto the couch. Besides, doing pointless stuff wasn’t the same for Gerard unless Mikey and Bert were both by his side.
Everyone always knew them as GerardMikeyandBert. And even though it hadn’t always been that way, anyone who had known them when they were just Mikey or just Gerard or just Bert still couldn’t imagine anything other than GerardMikeyandBert. Neither of them minded, because they honestly couldn’t see themselves separated either.
*
Bert dropped out of highschool, went and got a tattoo, and made out with Thomas McGregor on his mother’s couch the week he turned eighteen. He didn’t have to ask questions when suitcases full of his clothes were sitting in the entrance hall when he got home. They sent him away to his Aunt Marie’s house, but he ran away in less than a month. He had stolen enough money from his aunt to buy a plane ticket to New York City and have a little left to last a couple days out on the street.
The rest of Bert’s story changes every time he tells it. Though, it’s an actual known fact that he did later find out that his parents didn’t bother to report him missing. But they sent him money for a little while so he shrugged it off.
He always ends his story with meeting Gerard and calling that his greatest accomplishment.
*
Other than being an artist, Gerard never had any realistic goals. There were a lot of times he doubted himself, but from the start it was in Gerard’s blood to draw.
He made it to art school in New York City and, okay, so he didn’t exactly graduate like he had planned; but he sold a drawing and had really been sick of school and started to get depressed and thought he could make it all on his own. Gerard’s mom was nice enough to offer Gerard a home again, and he almost left until he met Bert. That was when he decided to stay in New York City.
*
New York was the only option for Mikey by the time he graduated High School. Gerard offered him a place to live over there and Mikey always had this little urge in him to follow in his brother’s footsteps. Except, he promised his mother he would finish his bachelor’s degree, and he really was going to, and had everything in check. Until Bert moved in with them and everything was perfect but just too small, and Gerard and Bert both agreed they should move away from the city. (“To Buffalo, man. I mean, fuck, the Niagara Falls and shit,” Bert said, even though why Buffalo still didn’t make sense.)
Mikey really wanted to go, so he kind of dropped out and they moved.
*
One night, Gerard walked in on his brother and Bert making out on Bert’s bed. Mikey was actually the one who made a scene out of it, since Bert figured he couldn’t get mad at Gerard since they never once gave each other privacy. And Gerard always buried his emotions, figuring he’d cave whenever he’d cave, and hoped there wouldn’t be any gun around when he did
Mikey stormed out the door, got drunk, got laid by some chick, and when he came home the next morning Gerard and Bert were making a mess out of the kitchen with pancake mix and talking about what it would be like if they were Ghostbusters.
“We’d probably have to make Mikey our secretary or he’d vaporize us or some shit,” Bert said, knowing Mikey was standing by the kitchen entrance.
“Fuck you.” Mikey walked in and grabbed a cup of already brewed coffee. “I’d be the fucking best Ghostbuster in the world. Gerard’ll probably be the one who screams like a girl at the sight of a ghost.”
“You look like shit,” Gerard piped back, holding his nose, “and smell like it too.” And that was the only comment ever made that was remotely relevant to that night.
*
“I jacked off to Bert last night.” Gerard and Mikey were eating out for once in forever.
“Eww,” Mikey made face before throwing a crumpled up napkin at Gerard. “Why would I want to know that?”
“Because I already told Bert and I didn’t want you to get all whiny and whatever because I didn’t tell you.” Gerard took a sip from his coffee. “You know, that whole don’t keep stuff from each other rule we made a long time ago.”
“How about a new rule? Keep your sexual fantasies to yourself. Actually, keep anything related to your sex life to yourself.” Mikey rolled his eyes before going back to his food. It was a few good minutes before Mikey looked back to Gerard. “Do you like him?”
“Do you?” Gerard shot back.
“I have a girlfriend,” he said. And he did. She was really into Mikey and even invited him over to meet her family, but he freaked and hid from her for a few days. Bert originally gave them two weeks, but she still clung to him and called him everyday and even forgave him when he ignored her, so Bert changed it to a month before Mikey commits suicide or becomes a mass murderer. Gerard said it’s for real, but he always said that about Mikey’s girlfriends and they always broke up within a month.
“We had sex. Twice,” Gerard croaked out and Mikey, for once, didn’t overreact. Though, he hadn’t expected that at all. “And he humps me and he kisses me a lot and stuff.”
“He kisses everyone and he’s humped Mom, dude.” He wanted to say that he had sex with everyone, too, but he hoped to God that wasn’t true or he’d have to kick some serious ass - and lose.
“He wants go to his hometown. To get rid of his demons or flip off his mom and burn her house or something like that,” Gerard said, changing the subject.
“Fuck, man, totally!”
*
When they went to Bert’s hometown, Mikey was single and looking so they all went over to what they hoped was a bar full of hot college girls. The place turns out to be the dark cave people in that city go to when they want to drink away their sorrows. They got drunk anyway and were lucky enough to have rented a hotel room across the street, so they went there and trashed the place a little before passing out.
Turns out his parents ended up moving out of town, so he decided to go to where his Aunt Marie lived instead. She opened the door, saw Bert’s face, and slammed the door on him.
They went around the city before deciding to just go home early, feeling unaccomplished.
*
Mikey almost burned down the house once, so they decided to keep all the appliances in Gerard’s bathroom (“I get the extra bath ‘cause I paid most for this house.” “Grandma only gave you most of her money as inheritance, because she knew you would have ended up living in Mom’s basement all your life.”), and Mikey couldn’t use anything in there unless supervised by another adult.
All three of them were crowded in Gerard’s restroom trying to do different tasks involving different appliances. And when Bert told Gerard, “I kind of love you,” Mikey decided to take his straightener into the other bathroom and no one stopped him.
“You’re burning your shirt.” Bert pointed to the shirt Gerard was ironing. Gerard didn’t care that he was ruining his favorite shirt, though, because when he nodded that yes, he did in fact feel the same, Bert nodded back to confirm the feelings again.
After that, they had to move all of Mikey’s stuff in the other bathroom, because Gerard burned his favorite shirt and you could even smell smoke.
*
They decide to go to Church one Sunday even though Bert was supposed to be a Mormon, Gerard was a gay asswipe who made out with Bert in the bathrooms, and Mikey was only there to meet hot chicks. They also decided to leave in the middle of a sermon and go out for ice cream and cigarettes, instead.
Bert and Gerard ended up making out everywhere they went, leaving Mikey to go fend for himself. At an arcade, he met this woman and started to chat her up until Bert almost blew his chance by pretending to be his gay lover. Gerard got jealous, though, and ended up grabbing him and taking him to some zombie shooting game where they ended up arguing about who would get bitten first during a real zombie apocalypse. This got them calmly kicked out by the manager of the place, because two grown adults fighting in an arcade can’t be good.
It gives them a chance to give each other handjobs in the car before Mikey comes out.
*
Someone referred to them as GerardandBert, and Mikey didn’t come home until the next morning. There was no doubt that GerardMikeyandBert became GerardandBert, but Mikey didn’t want to hear it. It felt like someone stabbed him right in the gut and said, “Three’s a crowd, just get the fuck out.”
Mikey coming home to an empty house didn’t help either. He sat in his room sulking for an entire hour before deciding to call Gerard, but when he went through the numbers in his cell phone, he saw the number he received from that woman working in the arcade. He calls her, instead.
*
Mikey and that woman from the arcade (Alicia is her name) were dating for eight months, when Mikey decided to propose to her. It’d be normal for Bert to think they were rushing, but it was Mikey and he knew Mikey was doing the right thing. Gerard, on the other hand, was scared about losing his little brother, and tried to make a list. Bert got him to give Mikey a blessing instead.
*
The day Mikey moved out was the saddest day in their lives. They didn’t cry or give any motivational speeches, which was a first for Gerard, but Gerard and Bert both clung to Mikey, not wanting to let go. Alicia had to pry them apart. Gerard loaded the last box of Mikey’s belongings into the truck and he and Bert watched as Mikey left. Even though they knew he was probably coming back to visit every free hour he had, with an empty room in their house it just wasn’t the same.
Bert and Gerard were sprawled on the couch together, watching some really psychedelic, freaky Asian movie, with weird colors constantly flashing on the screen, that night. Bert threw popcorn at Gerard’s head to get his attention.
“Wanna know something?” Bert smirked, which naturally scared Gerard sometimes. “I never made out with Thomas McGregor on my mom’s couch. He kicked me in the balls, though. I swore revenge on him.”
Gerard laughed, shook his head, and kicked at Bert’s feet. He looked back over to the screen and thought about getting back into drawing and turning Mikey’s room into an art studio. He thought about going back to school for a second, but decided NYC was a bunch of bullcrap anyway.
This was what was supposed to happen. Hos before Bros, making out with your gay lover in front of the elderly, and being thirty but still wearing Batman pajama bottoms to bed every night. Yeah, the world was a pretty fucked up place but Gerard was glad they fucked it over before it could fuck with them.