☤ 003
NICE
• Worked my way through college and med school.
• Helped that Trill during that gymnastics competition.
• Saurian virus inoculation program on Dramia II.
• Developing the neural tissue graft to the cerebral cortex.
• Never cheated on my wife when we were married, unlike some people.
• Joined Starfleet.
• Shared my flask with Jim on the shuttle.
• Patched Jim up. A lot.
• Organized the Academy's first astrophobia seminar.
• Never told Jim what Uhura's first name is.
• Smuggled Jim onto the Enterprise, which helped save Earth, in the end.
• Accepted responsibility for smuggling Jim onto the Enterprise.
• Berated Spock for throwing Jim off the ship.
• Got that Centaurian slug off of Captain Admiral Pike's brainstem without killing him.
NAUGHTY
• Practical jokes during college.
• Just told everyone my ex-wife cheated on me.
• Let my ex-wife take the whole damn planet in the divorce because I was too drunk to give a shit anymore.
• Yelled at the flight officer on the shuttle to San Francisco.
• Scared the shit out of the people on the shuttle by telling them all the ways we could die.
• Didn't stop Jim doing half the shit he got up to in the Academy and sometimes joined him.
• Used hyposprays on Jim harder than strictly necessary.
• Was insensitive to Jim after Spock brought up his dad.
• Accidentally gave Jim a vaccine that he was allergic to.
• Didn't stop Spock from throwing Jim off the ship onto that fucking ice planet.
• Was insensitive to Spock after his planet imploded.
• Called Spock a "green-blooded hobgoblin".
• Didn't stop Spock when he tried to beat the shit out of Jim.
• Didn't believe in Jim at first when I realized he was the new Captain.
• Thought Chekov had no idea what he was talking about because he's 17.
• Dad.
I need a drink.
• Worked my way through college and med school.
• Helped that Trill during that gymnastics competition.
• Saurian virus inoculation program on Dramia II.
• Developing the neural tissue graft to the cerebral cortex.
• Never cheated on my wife when we were married, unlike some people.
• Joined Starfleet.
• Shared my flask with Jim on the shuttle.
• Patched Jim up. A lot.
• Organized the Academy's first astrophobia seminar.
• Never told Jim what Uhura's first name is.
• Smuggled Jim onto the Enterprise, which helped save Earth, in the end.
• Accepted responsibility for smuggling Jim onto the Enterprise.
• Berated Spock for throwing Jim off the ship.
• Got that Centaurian slug off of Captain Admiral Pike's brainstem without killing him.
NAUGHTY
• Practical jokes during college.
• Just told everyone my ex-wife cheated on me.
• Let my ex-wife take the whole damn planet in the divorce because I was too drunk to give a shit anymore.
• Yelled at the flight officer on the shuttle to San Francisco.
• Scared the shit out of the people on the shuttle by telling them all the ways we could die.
• Didn't stop Jim doing half the shit he got up to in the Academy and sometimes joined him.
• Used hyposprays on Jim harder than strictly necessary.
• Was insensitive to Jim after Spock brought up his dad.
• Accidentally gave Jim a vaccine that he was allergic to.
• Didn't stop Spock from throwing Jim off the ship onto that fucking ice planet.
• Was insensitive to Spock after his planet imploded.
• Called Spock a "green-blooded hobgoblin".
• Didn't stop Spock when he tried to beat the shit out of Jim.
• Didn't believe in Jim at first when I realized he was the new Captain.
• Thought Chekov had no idea what he was talking about because he's 17.
• Dad.
I need a drink.