And I screw up again!
Stupid Sickness. I fart in your general direction. I cleaned today. I made my bed with the help of Reveille, who then hops into it and snuggles with my teddy bear. So I cleaned AROUND her. While she watched Donnie Darko. In my bed. With my toys. Oh well, lol. At least I cleaned that room of mine. It needed it. But as you all should have already known... my mother doesn't give a shit about the good things that I do. So as I was cleaning she comes up and tells me that I have to cook dinner. And I say "ok", but we don't have the groceries to make it. So she throws a big fit and finally puts some clothes on and goes to the store like a responsible adult and buys groceries. I keep cleaning. She gets home and starts dinner and expects me to know when to come in and finish it. I am sick. So after I finsihed cleaning my room, the guest room, and the bathroom I laid down next to Rev and watched some of the movie. And kinda fell asleep. So my mom goes crazy and starts banging stuff around in the kitchen and yelling at me and making a bigger mess. So I jump up and go try to help her. But she doesnt want my help anymore. She wants to yell at me. Dinner was ruined (even though it was just fine) and it was all my fault. She then sat down and did her daily crossword while I finished up in the kitchen and prepared a plate for everyone, except Rev who had made her way to the kitchen and made her own. I asked my mom why the meat looked different than usual and she blew up on me, saying that she probably got the wrong kind and it's all my fault becuase she has bad eyesight. She didn't have her glasses with her when she went to the store so she picked up the wrong stuff so it's my fault. And I told her that it sounded like she had a problem. And she yells "YEAH I HAVE A PROBLEM, YOU STUPIDASS, PEOPLE WHO CANT SEE USUALLY HAVE A PROBLEM!!" So then I took a breath and tried to ignore her calling ME a stupidass and told her that I was sorry for being sick and I couldn't go out to the store for her and do her job as mother of the houselhold but as for the whole not wearing glasses even though she knows that she has poor eyesight, and then blaming everything that goes wrong in her life on me, it seemed like she may need to grow up a little bit. So of course she's screaming at me by that point, telling me that I am the one that needs to grow the fuck up and start doing something with myself and cooking and cleaning and working an 8 hour job like her, and how she does everything around this house and I do nothing. She doesn't even know what AP classes are, yet she's sure that my schoolwork isn't as hard as I make it out to be and that I'm just a lazy bum who would rather be out with my friends than at home with a father who's never around and won't talk when he is, or a mother that picks fights for no fucking reason and blames it all on me simply because "i'm the daughter and she's the mother, so i must be wrong." And with that...I stop trying to communicate with her all together.