Hey, Jealousy! How goes it?
Well. I don't know what my beef is with life. But it needs to get thrown out because I'm tired of it.
I get called fat by this guy in my French class and I feel bad about it. I know I say I don't care about that kind of stuff but... I just hate it when I hear people making fun of me. Do they think I WANT to be ugly? I mean I tried. I AM trying to cut back on eating and I run at night AND in the morining now. I decided to do both when he called me fat.
Valentines day is on its way and I am more alone than ever. And I'm not going to resort to cheesecake of fudge anymore to make me feel better. I'm sick of it. No more. I was mad at myself for eating chips and having a Mountain Dew today. But I was so hungry that I had to eat something. And I'm not about to eat the school food anymore. eew.
I filled out that thigy for the Who's WHo in HIgh School blablabla Scholarhip thing. And the Journalism scholarship thing. It turns out I've had more achievements than I ever realized. Too bad they mean absolutely SHIT to my mom.
Mom fully supports my move to dedicate myself to school and losing weight. And I quote her... "That is the best move you've made all year, Brittany Nicole. You're going to have to cut back on a lot of your eating, cut out akk your joking around too much, YOU NEED TO BE SERIOUS IN LIFE! No lie, little girl.And you need to start cleaning up around here to go along with that. I'm tired of doing everything by myself"...(I SAT AND STARED AT HER!!!) blablabala and then "Yeah, girl, Now All ya gotta do is get Andrew to take your sorry ass back and you'll be doing alright."
Yep. My sorry ass. That's all I need, kids.
Maybe she's right. If I cut back on eating and quit with the jokes, I'll be able to get a guy. And I'll be ALRIGHT. Well. I like a guy already. And I'm not going to stop liking him just because my mom wants me to like who she likes. And I don't care if he never likes me back. I still like him. And if I stop, oh well. One day I'll be attractive and successful and I'll find someone who'll like me for my big mouth and my impulsiveness. AND DAMMIT MY MOTHER JUST NEEDS TO STOP TALKING!!! (why can i still hear her?????)
I get called fat by this guy in my French class and I feel bad about it. I know I say I don't care about that kind of stuff but... I just hate it when I hear people making fun of me. Do they think I WANT to be ugly? I mean I tried. I AM trying to cut back on eating and I run at night AND in the morining now. I decided to do both when he called me fat.
Valentines day is on its way and I am more alone than ever. And I'm not going to resort to cheesecake of fudge anymore to make me feel better. I'm sick of it. No more. I was mad at myself for eating chips and having a Mountain Dew today. But I was so hungry that I had to eat something. And I'm not about to eat the school food anymore. eew.
I filled out that thigy for the Who's WHo in HIgh School blablabla Scholarhip thing. And the Journalism scholarship thing. It turns out I've had more achievements than I ever realized. Too bad they mean absolutely SHIT to my mom.
Mom fully supports my move to dedicate myself to school and losing weight. And I quote her... "That is the best move you've made all year, Brittany Nicole. You're going to have to cut back on a lot of your eating, cut out akk your joking around too much, YOU NEED TO BE SERIOUS IN LIFE! No lie, little girl.And you need to start cleaning up around here to go along with that. I'm tired of doing everything by myself"...(I SAT AND STARED AT HER!!!) blablabala and then "Yeah, girl, Now All ya gotta do is get Andrew to take your sorry ass back and you'll be doing alright."
Yep. My sorry ass. That's all I need, kids.
Maybe she's right. If I cut back on eating and quit with the jokes, I'll be able to get a guy. And I'll be ALRIGHT. Well. I like a guy already. And I'm not going to stop liking him just because my mom wants me to like who she likes. And I don't care if he never likes me back. I still like him. And if I stop, oh well. One day I'll be attractive and successful and I'll find someone who'll like me for my big mouth and my impulsiveness. AND DAMMIT MY MOTHER JUST NEEDS TO STOP TALKING!!! (why can i still hear her?????)