2. Rage

[starshine_slave]

Maybe you're out there, maybe you're not. I'm sure you're gloating, either way. But I want to make something extraordinarily clear: I know you for what you truly are. You are the type of person who takes the beauty in others and you twist it and you warp it and you fucking destroy it so those people can't even look in the mirror without feeling

Comments

[g1amourpuss]

you know, when I say "i understand" I really fucking do. I've been there - I'm still there. I just don't dwell on the pain as much anymore or cry or think about the hate.

some lovers can really fuck your head up... not so much for the sake of intentionally doing so - it just makes her feel better about herself because she feels hollow and neglected and ugly inside. it's a shame she put the mirror on you so that you are confusingly viewing her reflection.

try to focus on what's beautiful, real, and substantial in your life. I'm glad you are running. that will make your head feel so much better. (fucking someone else might make you feel better too... as long as you keep your head/emotions out of it right now. you should go out this weekend to hang with your real friends.)

love ya, nicholette

[starshine_slave]

Oh, this was most definitely not directed at her. She's beautiful, inside and out, and I bear her no ill will at all. Oh no, this was directed most squarely at someone else, someone who enjoys ignoring their lover, someone who enjoys using them and treating them like a convenient tool. Someone who gets pleasure out of forcing their lover into sexual situations that they don't want to be in. Him, I hate.

Thank you for the kind words and for caring enough to say something. It means a lot. (Yeah, no sex for me. I did the whole meaningless sex thing when I was younger...I get bored with mindless passion...)

Hope everything is going well for you. Hope I get to see you out and about soon.

[glamourpussie]

ahhh, we'll I've known both a guy and a stupid girl similar to that. sorry to misread then! your writing is always so beautiful, but sometimes a bit vague too.

..im doing pretty well aside from an icky cold I caught from my daughter. been resting up so I should be feeling super well soon. :) xoxox

[glamourpussie]

we'll=well (this shitty palm pilot auto-types for me)

[starshine_slave]

I guess I kind of wanted to be intentionally vague because I wanted the hatred to come across, but I also didn't want to outright name names. No, she didn't do anything wrong, at least not in my eyes. Of all the relationships I've ever been in, she was honestly the only one that I felt really cared for me and loved me. The only thing that bothers me is that she's not here anymore.