Love you like I do...Chapters 1-5
Ok so this is the first time I've ever posted on the Vam Communtity and to be perfectly honest I'm fucking terrifyed. Read please and I beg you to comment whether it's to tell me I'm crap and to never write again. Feedback absolutly needed thank you...xxx
Title: Love you like I do
Pairing: Vam: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: R,
Disclaimer: Not mine, I can only wish. This never happened except in my sick mind haha
Dedication: To Catclaw - the perverter of minds and twister of innocence.
Chapter 1 - The Beginning
They met at an awards ceremony, introduced by executives, keen to push Ville and HIM into the mainstream cult which Bam, Steve-o and the Jackass crew of misfits were leading. Although it was clear to everyone, except the mindless fat cats that the two images did not mesh. Ville with his dark, shy, romantic, gothic swoon which surrounded him like the smoke from one of his constantly smouldering Marlboro Lights. Then there was Bam and his brash, loud, crude, motley crue of maniacs. However despite the initial an obvious difference between Ville and Bam there was an instant connection. Most obviously helped by the odd fact that Ville was the front man of Bam’s most favourite band of all time. After Bam had got over his initial and odd star struck awe of this slither of a man. The two embarked on an unsuspecting friendship which grew and blossomed. Each finding solace in the others opposite.
----*----
It had been roughly two years since Bam and Ville’s first awkward meeting.
They had long since got over that original shyness. Which had in the beginning been especially difficult for Ville who had a tough time letting people in, letting people through those high walls he had long ago built up around himself. Now the two did practically everything together drink, eat, party, work together and sometimes they’d fall asleep together as well. Dunn always joked that Ville and Bam were like an old married couple the way they knew what the other was thinking and finished each others sentences. After the first year Bam had even started pronouncing Ville’s name correctly, *vee-lay* instead of the usual yank mispronunciation *vee-la or vi-la*. Or when Bam was being particularly affectionate the two had the joke of making all the ‘v’ s ‘w’. Giving words that Jonathan Ross touch.
----*----
Ville normally participated fully in Bam and the others antics. Especially in the Jagermeister drinking competitions (damn those Finns can drink) but tonight he was more sultry than usual. Something was eating away at the gothic one, something that had been bothering him for the last month. He was the first to admit, maybe not openly but to himself when he was alone in his fortress. One that in recent weeks had become his fortress of tears, Ville was in love. Well for someone of Ville’s *ah hem* talents you could be forgiven for thinking that this man could have any woman he so chose. And you’d probably be right. The problem was it wasn’t any woman that made his stomach somersault at the sound of their voice, made his insides writhe like snakes at the mere mention of their name, made his skin goose bump at the slightest touch. That feeling of total devotion, that feeling of despair when without them, was all for one person. His best friend, Bam Margera.
***********
“Yo, Ville!” The American’s loud greeting shook Ville out of his deep contemplation. Bam slumped down beside his pal. “What’s happening bro, why the long face?”
“I...err...huh...nothing.” the sexy Finn replied, not quite managing to meet his accomplice’s gaze.
“You sure dude? You’ve sat here all night looking like someone’s died, anything I can do to cheer you up?” Bam pressed on tickling Ville’s ribs making him squirm in his seat. Ville looked up into those big unnaturally blue eyes.
Fuck he’s gorgeous he thought. I know something that would make me walk on air, but you’d be disgusted to know what I had in mind. the slender one continue to ponder.
“Come and join us.” Bam pleaded with his friend. Letting his deep tones drop to a whisper, “*please*” he added.
His soft beer and smoke scented breath caressed Ville’s cheek. God how I love the way he smells.
“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Ville obliged thinking it was probably another skater loony to add to Bam’s large group of friends. “I met her last night.”
HER!!
Ville’s green eyed monster reared its fittingly gothic heads from the pit of his stomach. His eyes flashed, his cheeks flushing instantly. Bam noticed and paused, letting Ville’s tattooed wrist slip from his grasp. Bam checked over his friend noticing how glassy those unique green eyes suddenly looked.
“Man you ok?”
Ville faked a bemused smile, “uh…what oh yea fine just got a piece of ash in my eye, stings that’s all. Don’t worry bout me I’ll catch you up, just nipping to the men’s.” he faux grinned.
“Ok see you in a bit then.” Bam smirked and bounded back to his rabble.
Get a grip, get a grip. The sentence pounding inside Ville’s head with every step. There’s someone I want you to meet, I met her the other night. Bam’s words reverberating in his ears.
He threw open the door to the men’s rest room, where he met an old ‘friend’, and did the exchange for a little clear plastic bag of his favourite white powder.
Just a couple of lines, to sharpen up. He thought to himself.
This was one (other) thing he’d never tell Bam about, Bam couldn’t abide by any drugs…except the odd bit of weed that is. Ville straightened himself up and looked in the mirror, briefly noting the sudden largess of his pupils.
He washed his hands and as he crossed to the door back out to the bar thought time to face the music, lets see who this little slut Bam’s met is, she won’t be good enough for him whoever she is.
He was absorbed in his thoughts right up to when he reached Bam’s table, it was only Rake throwing a damp napkin at him that shook him from his thoughts. A little embarrassed at being caught out like that he took a seat as close to the edge of the group as possible.
“Dude do I stink or something? Why you all the way over there? Come sit next to me then!” Bam hollered over the din.
“Wha…oh well there didn’t seem to be any space especially with our new guest,” he said casting a disdainful hidden sneer at the girl draped over Bam. Good point, shove up Jenn, make room for his skinny ass and you can get a chair” he said to Rake shoving him practically to the floor.
All eyes were on Ville waiting for his move. “Erm there really was no need for that I was fine here, but as you insist.” he answered as he stood and moved.
Oh so gracefully Bam secretly noted. The Finn took his seat next to his friend.
“So I believe you have some introductions to make Bammie.” Deliberately pet naming him to show this bitch who Bam belonged to, casting another glance at the clearly put out looking brunette on the other side of the skater.
“Oh yea, Ville, Jenn, Jenn, Ville. Jenn works in PR. Well I don’t have to say what Ville does.” Bam said, gesturing to the speaker above their heads which was currently blaring out “Buried Alive by Love”, one other thing that annoyed Ville about this bar - they always played his music when he was in, despite frequent requests for them not to.
Jenn looked shocked. “This is you?” she asked, pointing from the speaker to Ville in a moronic gesture as if he couldn’t understand English.
Slightly mockingly Ville replied, “Well not on my own obviously,” and gestured to his band mates sitting at the bar waiting for their food. The whole group laughed, except Jenn who looked a little ashen faced, Ville almost felt sorry for her. Almost.
********
The two friends didn’t realise how much noise they were making stumbling down the corridor towards Ville’s apartment, until someone yelled for them to shut up. Giggling they fell through the Finns front door.
“Soooo what did ya think of her then mate?” Bam eagerly, yet slightly drunkenly quizzed Ville.
“Erm, she was nice I suppose if you like that sort of thing…and you certainly seem to” he added almost distainfully.
“Dude what’s that supposed to mean?” Bam asked trying to keep the hurt out of his voice. The first girl he ever introduces to Ville an all he gets is sarcasm and he’d been trying to make Jenn feel stupid all night. Bam just didn’t get it, Was Ville jealous? That someone was interested in him instead of always Ville?
Ah, the poor misguided skater he was partly right, jealous yes, but not of Bam, of Jenn. All night yes, Ville had been nasty to Jenn making her feel stupid, and uncomfortable but only because it had been killing him watching the two together, watching her making Bam smile and laugh the way Ville make him laugh and smile. Now all Ville wanted to do was lie alone in bed and brood or sob whichever came first then have a brief wank, thinking of course of Bam and then sleep or at least lie there with his eyes closed. But that small luxury had been denied him because fucking Raab, Ryan, Chad and his new girlfriend Aliye (nice not being the only foreigner) had demanded Bam partake in several shot competitions and got him totally wasted. Normally Ville revelled in situations like this, a chance to be alone with Bam, when Bam took on his intelligent alter-ego, and they’d talk all night or get totally rat-assed and get hopelessly romantic.
After they got in Bam just stood in the hall like a spare part, most unlike him as he’d stayed at Ville’s so many times he knew the roof top apartment better than he knew his own place, and was almost part of the furniture. Ville had once joked that if Bam stayed much longer he’d have to start paying him rent.
“I’ll just make up the guest room go and sit down, grab a drink or something man, don’t just stand there.” Ville’s deep tones came in from the other end of the hall. Bam didn’t move. “Bammie, look I'm sorry for not being very nice to that Jenn girl ok, I've just got a lot on my mind at the moment.” No response. “Listen next time we all go out I’ll be super nice, I’ll even buy her something to make up for my un-gentlemanly behaviour if it means that much to you, Bammie, Bammie talk to me please.”
“Yea, ok man, don’t worry bout it ok, apology accepted, I can't stay mad at you for too long anyway.” Bam looked up into Ville’s startling green eyes with his own piercing blue ones. There I saw it again, the look he gave me in the bar. Bam thought to himself, as he noticed the love momentarily shine through Ville at him. “Hey, dude why you bothering with the guest room? I haven’t kipped in there since you bought this place. What you ain’t got space for lil ‘ole me in your bed anymore?”
Bam pouted, reaching forward to tickle his friends’ ribs making Ville squirm on the spot and making him note how his already tight jeans suddenly felt even tighter. He pulled out of Bam’s grasp. Leaving the skater with a confused look on his face.
“Ok I’ll just go to the loo, why don’t you go warm up the bed for me then honey.” Ville teased.
Bams only response was to poke out his tongue and pretend to mince off to the bedroom, just following orders…
Ville collapsed through the bathroom door leaning on it shut behind him.
Come on Ville get a hold of yourself, he’s not going to be interested in a queer like you, he likes girls remember, he likes Jenn, and you almost made him hate you tonight!
He looked down and noted how much strain was being put on the front of his black jeans from his throbbing hard-on. He peeled them off, carefully folding them an putting them into the laundry basket, walked to the toilet, leant on the wall in front of him he reached down to his hard on, immediately started to stroke his cock roughly, he pictured Bam as he’d been in the bar that night, laughing and joking, he removed Jenn out of the picture and replaced himself in her place, with Bam’s arm round his shoulders, Bam kissing him, perhaps dropping his hand below the table to stroke Ville through his jeans. He pictured Bam right now lying naked in Ville’s huge gothic oak bed, beckoning to him from the silk sheets. He shuddered as he came into the toilet bowel just as the door opened to the image of Bam standing there in his boxers. Bam forced himself not to ogle Ville’s naked butt.
Ville looked over his shoulder. “Dude, what the fuck get out I'm taking a piss.”
“Sorry man you just took so long, hey if you taking a piss why ain’t you pissing…ooh...oopsy sorry I’ll wait in bed” Bam realising why his friend had been so long, he was having some “alone time”.
Bam smiled to himself as he backed out of the door, wonder if he was thinking about me like how I think about him. Get real Bam, tonight he was jealous of you pulling instead of him…or was he? Dammit of course he was, what you think he was jealous of Jenn, get real!
“Ok you caught me,” Ville joked trying to hide the fact he was blushing a deep red.
He jumped in beside his friend, now he was wearing a clean pair of black shorts.
“So what you wanna do now drink more, watch T.V or a movie, have a chat or sleep?” the American asked.
“Erm, up to you tonight, I don’t feel like drinking anymore though.” The Finn replied.
“Oh I'm so glad you said that I think I’ll throw up if I drink anymore.” Bam said.
“Well I've checked the TV mag,” he said gesturing to the magazine on the floor. “And there’s nothing on the box, so you wanna sleep or talk, I'm not sleepy though.” After seeing you having a jerk, that thought’s enough to keep me up all night.
“OK then,” replied the sultry voice of the slender pale figure beside him, “stay up all night talking it is.”
Title: Love you like I do
Pairing: Vam: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: R,
Disclaimer: Not mine, I can only wish. This never happened except in my sick mind haha
Dedication: To Catclaw - the perverter of minds and twister of innocence.
Chapter 2
“So Bammie, what’s new with work, you got any new projects in the pipeline?” Ville tentatively asked.
“Oh yea MTV have commissioned me my own show, like Jackass but better, like the CKY films but naturally tamer, we’re gonna call it “Viva la Bam”, and I was wondering if you’d appear in some of the shows…” Bam replied.
“Oh course I would, would I ever refuse you anything.” And I mean anything. Ville said.
“So man what’s new with HIM, you gotta tour coming up yeah?” Bam enquired.
“Yes we do, Main stage at the UK Download Festival, so loads a promo work, apparently I'm more interview friendly than the other guys and I've been asked to be on a cover feature for Kerrang with….and this is where it gets exciting… Slash from Velvet Revolver and OZZY OSBOURNE, I mean to be in an interview with him, the guy’s a living legend, and you know how much of a inspiration Sabbath have been to the band, I'm looking forward to it so much, then after the festival spot, a UK tour, then into the studio. Hope your not gonna be to busy to drop by and see me.” Ville pouted.
“Well I got a pretty busy schedule myself.” What was I thinking of course he’s not going to fly to the UK for a visit. Ville cursed himself.
What am I doing, passing up an opportunity to be close to him after a lot of time apart? Bam cursed himself equally. “But I'm sure I can make time for you. Moving on from work talk, it's reminding me how much I've still got to do in prep for the show before we can start shooting. So what do you think of this Aliye chick Chad’s now “officially dating”? Bit too emo, but she’s almost as crazy as me on a board and Chad says she’s a good guitarist too.”
“I like her, it’s nice not being the only foreigner, half Turkish Cypriot, half Irish and born in the UK, quite a mixture. Yes she is a talented musician Chad played me her demo, its original and dark I liked it. Personality wise she fits in perfectly with the group, I think, mad as a hatter.” Ville chuckled.
“Yea, but she defiantly cheated to beat me at shots earlier, no girl can down that many and not be falling over.” Bam pointed out.
“Perhaps my lovely, she can just hold her booze better than you.” Ville rebutted.
“OK, OK moving on again, you really gonna tell me what your problem was with Jenn? I mean I trust your judgement on people, but you were really mean, and I don’t buy that bullshit, you got a lot on your mind, you weren’t shitty with anyone else, even when Shitgoose was taking the piss outa Finland you just laughed.” Bam demanded.
“Erm, hey I already apologised for that, Bammie can't you just drop it now.”
“No I won't drop it I want an explanation, what is it Ville, jealous?” Ville looked up sharply in the dark.
Is it possible he knows how I feel?
“Jealous someone actually liked me over you, yea that’s right she didn’t even know who you were.” Bam continued, waspishly.
“No Bam that was not it, it actually made a nice change, you know full well I do not milk the attention I get, unlike some. I do not want to fight with you, I said I'm sorry now can we leave it at that, we’ve both had too much to drink.” Tears beginning to fall down his white cheeks, he silently thanked God once again for the darkness so that Bam could not see him like this. But Bam heard his sudden shortness of breath and heard him quietly sniff, as one does when they weep.
“Dude what’s the matter, hey I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” No answer. “Hey man I'm really sorry ok, I’ll shut up now…seriously man what’s wrong?”
Bam instinctively wrapped his arms round Ville’s slender shoulders in an embrace, trying futilely to comfort his friend; Ville looked up at him, their faces mere inches apart. Bam swallowed and closed the gap between their already parted mouths. Tasting the salt from Ville’s tears. They kissed for a moment before Ville pulled away and gasped. Bam instantly flushed and jumped out of bed grabbing his clothes from the floor and practically run out of the room before Ville had a chance to say or do anything. Ville was still frozen in his spot in bed when he heard the apartment door slam. He automatically reached for the phone and punched in Bam’s number, not needing to even look at the key pad…no answer. No point leaving a message he never listens to them.
“Paska, paska, paska, PASKA!” Ville exclaimed aloud.
* * * * *
Ville was awoken by his phone vibrating next to his head. Indicating he had a message. He launched himself upon the Motorola. Praying with every particle of his mortal fibre it was from Bam. “1 new message, from Raab.” Flashed up on the screen. The vocalist sighed deeply.
“Hey dude, duno wat hapned between u n Bambam last nite he turnd up @ mine bout 4am. Wudnt tlk bout it, u cumin 2 the bar 2nite? Tb Raab”
After much deliberation Ville replied that he would indeed be there about 8ish. He got up and showered before he went to meet the rest of HIM for band practise,
* * * * *
Raab, Rake, Dico and the others stood by the rail watching Bam.
“Dude I ain’t seen Bam skate this hard, since 9th grade when he broke up with that Rachel chick. Damn that girl broke his heart, cheating on him with that foreign exchange student Ewan, horny Scottish bastard.” Rake commented to the others.
“Yeah man that was just before I got kicked out... haha, remember that Ewan kid’s face when he saw all the shit on his locker, that’ll teach him not to mess with my best bud’s girl…haha” Raab replied.
“Yea but you got kicked out and Bam dropped out because of it, that’s why you two are dumbshits” the group fell about laughing.
Bam skated over. “Hey what you lot laughing at?”
“Nothing man just remembering when Raab got kicked out, then you dropped out.” Dunn answered
“Oh yeah man I ain’t never seen Ape flip out so much, she was worse then, than when we built the half pipe in the front room for MTV!” Bam chuckled, which was the cue for more hysterics. “So what we doing tonight? I'm in the mood for getting totally wasted…again.” Bam laughed.
“Erm, I figured we’d go to the bar bout 7:30, then maybe go on to somewhere else if it gets boring.” Raab told his friend.
The others nodded in agreement.
“OK men, whatever, just make sure the alcohol is flowing freely, and some hot chicks are there, that Jenn girl is boring me now, I just want some action.”
The group marched out of the park chanting “BRING ON THE BEER, BRING ON THE HOES, BRING ON THE BEER…..”
Title: Love you like I do
Pairing: Vam: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: R,
Disclaimer: Not mine, I can only wish. This never happened except in my sick mind haha
Dedication: To Catclaw - the perverter of minds and twister of innocence.
Chapter 3
The group were already sitting in their usual spot when Ville sauntered in.
Oh, no sign of Bammie, great he knows I'm coming and is a no show, he’s avoiding me, he’s never going to want to speak to me again, shit, shit, shit.
As Ville’s intense paranoia kicked in, his presence was noted by the group.
“Yo Ville, you coming over or what?” Chad hollered over the din.
As Ville approached the table he noticed a gap where Bam usually sat, along with a glass on whiskey on the table in front of it.
He’s here! Ville’s stomach did a somersault.
“Hey where’s Bambam?” the Finn enquired carefully. Trying to act as if it wasn’t the sole reason for his presence here tonight.
“Oh he’s just gone to take a piss.” Raab answered a little too honest as always. “So you going to tell us what happened last night or what dude?”
“What? Oh a total misunderstanding.”
“Well Bam said he tried to kiss you and you knocked him back.”
Ville just sat there looking shocked.
“Don’t look so surprised mate, we’ve known about our lil’ Bam having the hots for you for months, just wondered when he was going to do something about it.” Jess told the Finn.
“B…B…but Bam’s straight.” Ville managed to stammer out.
“Nah, our man’s bi, swings both ways. So do you dontcha? Jess continued.
“Erm…no I don’t,” he paused, “I'm gay all the way.” He laughed.
“Then what? You don’t fancy my little bro?” Jess asked teasingly.
“No I do. I really do, I was just shocked and I didn’t want a drunken one nighter that would end in Bam being awkward with me and ruining our friendship. Looks like I messed that one up anyway.”
“No way dude, you can fix this you just got to explain exactly what you just told us to him, but do it slow he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.” Raab explained.
Right on cue Bam strolled over to the table, he froze at the sight of Ville.
“Oh hi man,” he said awkwardly to the man he was sure hated and was disgusted by him.
“Hey Bam I think you and Willa Walo need to go have a little chat,” Raab pushed.
“Yea good idea, c’mon Bam I think we need to talk.”
What the fuck am I going to say to him? How can I find the words to express my love?
Great now I'm going to get the whole, I like you but not in that way speech, this is going to be fun
He cast a questioning look to his friends but none the less obediently followed Ville to the car park.
“So what do you want Ville? You made you feelings pretty clear last night.” Bam demanded a little exasperated.
Ville stepped closer to Bam; he took both the skaters hands. Bam held in a gasp at the big startling emerald green eyes piecing into his. Those very eyes that Bam had first fallen so desperately in love with.
“Brandon, Bam, Bambam, my Bammie. I am so sorry.” Bam cut him off and pulled away trying to hide the tears now streaming down his face.
“If this is the part where you tell me you like me a lot, but only as a friend, then save it ok.”
“Why couldn’t you let me finish, you never listen do you. Bam…Bam look at me.” Ville’s deep tones replied sounding so full of sorrow it made Bam’s heart break all over again.
Bam slowly turned desperately trying to hide his tears. But before he had time to compose himself Ville stepped forward and pushed his lips to Bam’s. Oh how Ville had ached to taste those sweet full lips. Bam reciprocated pulling Ville even closer still, his hands tangling into the Finn’s hair. Ville tenderly opened his mouth sliding his tongue into Bam’s eagerly awaiting one. The younger man gently sucked on it. Ville groaned as his already tight pants got impossibly tighter once more He grabbed Bam’s hips thrusting his erection into the skater’s very own. The sultry singer had to do everything not to cream then and there in his pants at the sensation of Bam’s rock hard dick digging into his groin.
A bright flash caused the couple to break apart. They both stood staring about, bleary eyed, squinting into the darkness for where the light had come from. Their questioning was soon answered as a dozen or so journalists descended upon them, what felt like a thousand camera flashes went off in front of then. Ruining their first real tender moment.
“Bam, Ville, over here, over here…how long have you two been gay? When’s the blessing? Guys, guys c’mon look at the camera.”
Ville turned to them shielding his eyes,
“No comment, until our press statements which will be made through our representatives, now please leave!” Bam was genuinely surprised at his, his, he didn’t know what Ville was to him anymore but one thing was certain. They were more than “just good friends” now. The Finn turned back to Bam, with utter grief in his emerald green eyes and mouthed ‘sorry’ to him, before grabbing his arm and dragging him back to the bar.
“Ok dudes, big problem! Press just caught me and Willa in the middle of making out, we have to leave right now.” Bam practically yelled. Dunn and Raab leapt into action.
“Dude no worries me and the guys have been planning for this sort of situation ever since you made the big time, we figured it was only a matter of time before you did something to get the media to mob you.”
“The permanently broken toilet in the men’s bathroom. Its broken coz it’s not real, it’s a door to a garage, where there’s a van waiting. Kenny let us install it as we spend so much fucking money in this place.” Raab continued from where Dunn had left off, smiling over to the bar where a portly Kenny stood behind the bar cleaning glasses.
Bam positively grinned at this. Oh man did he have the best friends in the whole world.
“Ok stop gawping and you and Willa Walo get going, we’ll make a distraction.”
“Oh and Bam go back to the Castle, no offence Ville but your place is hardly secure” Jess added.
Ville nodded in admittance. Bam’s brother was totally right, his apartment was hardly safe. He had been unconsciously been letting things get more and more dangerous, walking about late at night, ‘forgetting’ his ventalin, willing someone or something to put him out of his misery. But things had to change, he had Bam now. He mentally shook himself He had Bam now.
“Ville, Ville, c’mon man lets get the hell outa here!”
With a parting look of gratitude to his friends the skater and the musician ran. Just as they crashed into the toilets, they heard the commotion in the bar, the paparazzi were in the building, and they had to get out. Then Jess’ loud raucous voice
“Aw fella’s all those cameras for lil ole’ CKY, if I’d known you were going to pay us a visit, I’d have changed my shirt.”
“This is our cue,” Ville hissed to Bam.
“Quick check everywhere, they’ve got to still be here!” Someone yelled from the bar.
The couple ran into the cubicle and just as the crew had said the back wall was in fact a door, leading out to a garage, with a van waiting. Ville passed Bam the keys Raab had passed to him. After all Ville didn’t even own a car, there was no way he’d be able to drive this. Bam started to ignition, then sat there.
“What c’mon lets get out of here my love.” Ville urged on his lover?.
“It's just…” Bam started but stopped again.
“What Bammie?”
“It’s just all this,” he said gesturing all around. “It’s a lot to take in, when I came to the bar tonight I thought you hated me, and now we’re running from the press together.”
“I know baby, I know.”
“No I don’t think you do and what was that about press release, I haven’t even told Ape and Phil bout my liking for guys, yet now I’m telling everyone?”
“Well baby, if you make a press release or you don’t those pictures will speak for themselves and they will be plastered all over the papers tomorrow, you’re a big deal in this country. So I suggest when we get in I make myself scarce and you have a little heart to heart with your parents, I’m sure they’ll be cool.”
“I don’t know Ville this is all a bit too much you know, and what do I tell them about us, is there an ‘us’, what the hell is going on?”
“I love you Brandon Cole Margera, that’s what’s going on.”
“Well that’s good then,” Bam grinned, “cos’ I love you too Ville Hermanni Valo. Bu…”
Ville cringed at the use of his middle name.
“No buts honey, well not until later,” the older man answered with a twinkle in his eye.
Silently they drove. There were already film crews outside the front gates at Bam’s place so they drove around to the back. As Bam parked up, the Finn slipped his hand onto Bam’s muscular thigh.
“This isn’t exactly how I pictured our first night together.”
“Me either” Bam said solemnly.
The seriousness of Bam’s toned made Ville burst out laughing. “Come on, let’s go inside and face the music.”
Title: Love you like I do
Pairing: Vam: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: don’t know
Disclaimer: Not mine, I can only wish. This never happened except in my sick mind haha
Dedication: To Catclaw - the perverter of minds and twister of innocence.
Chapter 4
It was unusually quiet in the Margera house when our lovers arrived.
“BRANDON COLE MARGERA!”
“Ape! What the fuck! What have I done to get middle named?” Bam whined to his mother.
“I don’t know, but how am I supposed to get where I need to go with all those paparazzi out there? What trouble have you got yourself into this time?” April continued to berate her son.
“April.” The smoothness of Ville’s voice instantly calming Bam’s mother. “I’m very sorry about all the commotion outside but it’s my fault, I’m afraid.”
“Oh no Ville don’t you try to cover for *him*.” She replied, her tone softening
“I assure you I’m not. However Bam does have a few things he needs to discuss with you and Phil.”
“Huh? What’s my boy go to discuss? We’re not having another film crew in here Bam, and no more rock stars. Except you of course Ville.”
“Thank you Phil,” Ville said graciously. “I’ll wait in you room Bammie.” Ville almost whispered praying that Bam’s little chat would go well. Bam nodded with a small smile.
“Uh, mom, dad, there’s something I’ve needed to talk to you about for a while now.” Bam said uncertainly.
“Oh no, this has got to be bad, he hasn’t called us mom and dad since he was eight.” Phil mentioned to Ape, cutting Bam in his tracks.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is too hard maybe I’ll just tell them something else and then when the papers come out tell them it was a dare and I was stoned.
No Bam don’t be an idiot your whole life they’re not *that* stupid to buy that shit. You need to tell them.
DON’T WANNA!!
DO IT!!!
Ok Ok!!
Bam shook the little voices arguing in his head away, he took a deep breath.
It’s now of never, come on big fella; let’s get on with the show.
“Bam honey, whatever it is you know we’ll always support you, we always have with you skating and all the MVT stuff and your production.” Ape told Bam looking at his worried face.
“Well mom, this isn’t like my skating shit, or any of the other stuff.”
“What’s the worst it can be son, after everything you’ve done. Next you’ll be telling us you’re gay!” Phil laughed. Bam wished before he spoke next that he’d known that that would be the last time Phil ever called Bam son.
Bam looked at the floor, unable to meet his father’s gaze. He felt ashamed of what he had to say.
“Oh God! You’re not fucking gay. My son isn’t gay. You…You’ve had girlfriends and, and stuff.” Phil roared.
“Nuh uh Phil. I’m not gay.” He paused to take a deep breath, knowing from what his father had just said whatever reaction he got was not going to be a good one. “But…” Phil sucked back in his sigh of relief. “I’m bisexual, ok?”
“Oh Bam!” Ape squealed happily, wrenching her son into a lung crushing hug.
“Ok, you’re not freaking out in a bad way, this is good.” Bam gasped nervously through his mum’s hug.
When Ape finally released him from her death grip embrace he looked to Phil, who hadn’t said anything for a while. He looked to his Dad for some sort of reaction from his big revelation. He didn’t get one. Phil couldn’t look Bam in the face he was so ashamed and angry.
“Phil?...Phil?!” Bam repeated. He got nothing. Bam wanted to cry, he’d done it now, after everything he’d put his family through, the thing that made his dad hate him was him being happy.
“PHIL!” Ape screeched impaitentally.
“What the… No it’s not true. My son is not a faggot. I only have one son now.” He said voice shaking
Bam could feel some anger of his own rising inside him, absorbing all the choked up feelings of rejection.
“Look, if you don’t like that your son’s bent. Well, well you can go get bent. You fucking bigot. Jess knows, he’s cool with it, the guys know, they’re cool. Even freaking Novak’s cool with it. Now you can either accept it or not, it’s who I am. Either way it’s going to be all over the papers tomorrow morning, along with pictures of me and Ville making out in the car lot of Kenny’s! So There!” Bam yelled unable to contain his rage any longer.
Phil, without warning, punched Bam in the face, knocking him to the ground. Ape screamed, but was frozen in shock. Bam put his hand to his mouth, he felt blood trickle out of the right corner of his mouth. That was one hell of a blow to knock Bam down and make him bleed. He pulled himself from the ground.
“Fuck you, you can knock me down but I’ll always get straight back up.” Bam said slowly, still shocked himself that his father struck him.
“You’re not my son, my son is dead.” Phil spat back.
“Fine then if I’m dead.” Bam paused trying to gain control. “What the fuck are you doing in my fucking house? Get the fuck out and don’t fucking come back, you wanker.” Bam screamed at him.
Phil just walked off. Silent tears rolling down April’s cheeks.
“Fuck this!” Bam said vehemently as he walked off towards his room.
“I love you baby,” April said in a hoarse whisper.
Bam paused at the door, but carried on walking. As he walked in his bedroom door, the sight that he beheld froze him to the spot. Ville was lying on his bed shirtless.
“I take it by your deafening stomps and slams it didn’t go well honey?” Ville almost whispered.
“Ape’s cool, Phil, well Phil said I was as good as dead to him, but fuck him if I’m dead he can get the fuck out of my house and stop living off me, like he has ever since my skating took off.” Bam replied forcefully. Quite surprised at the force of his answer, he, quite unexpectedly to himself and Ville, he burst into tears. Now that the shock of what he had just said had hit him, and the realisation that his own father didn’t want him, just because of whom he loved. Ville crawled closer to the younger man. He silently cupped Bam’s slightly stubbly cheek and looked deep into his eyes. He couldn’t bear to see him this way. With every one of Bam’s sobs Ville could almost literally feel his heart fall to pieces.
I love your skin oh so white
I love your touch cold as ice
And I love every single tear you cry
I just love the way you're losing your life
Oh my Baby, how beautiful you are
Oh my Darling, completely torn apart
You're gone with the sin my Baby and beautiful you are
You're gone with the sin my Darling
I adore the despair in your eyes
I worship your lips once red as wine
I crave for your scent sending shivers down my spine
I just love the way you're running out of life
Oh my Baby, how beautiful you are
Oh my Darling, completely torn apart
You're gone with the sin my Baby and beautiful you are
The Finn whispered the lyrics to Bam, and had never meant them more than he did at that moment. Even when he revealed the song to Joanna, his very last ever girlfriend. She was the one who made it so painfully obvious that he was gay. Every time they made love, kissed, even touched, it revolted him. Why did he date her? Because that’s what men are “supposed” to do. Date women. Back then Ville was so far back in the closet that he even proposed to her. So sure that this was what he was meant to do that he even got a ‘J’ tattooed on his ring finger. He was with her for five very long years. Every day reminding himself consciously that he was doing the right thing. Him, a man, was meant to be with her, a woman. But no, that’s just not the way Ville Valo is wired up. Thank God he realised it in time. Ville glanced down at that tattoo on his finger, the skin raw, where he’d been digging at it absent mindedly again, as he often did. As if his subconscious wanted to remove it completely. Hmm wonder if I could get that changed to a ‘B’.
“Oh baby, that was beautiful.” Bam sighed as Ville finished.
“Bammie, my darling Bammie, I have never meant those words until I said them to you.”
“Ville. I. I love you.” Bam managed to stammer out as his sobs began to subside.
Ville leaned in to kiss Bam, swiping the tears off his full lips with his tongue. As they kissed Bam mentally gulped before he slid his tongue into the older man’s mouth, gently grazing it against Ville’s. The Finn couldn’t help but moan into the kiss. The vibrations rocketed through Bam’s body, causing his dick to leap in his pants. He felt those cold slender fingers slip into the waistband of his baggy skate pants, and gently brush over his warm toned stomach down to his groin. Bam clenched up and gasped. Ville instantly withdrew, blushing furiously.
“Too much?” Ville asked looking at the floor from behind his hair.
Bam leaned forward to his unspoken boyfriend’s ear.
“Not enough, my love.” He whispered. His warm breath tickling Ville. Then in typical Bam style, he pounced on his lover. “The colder your touch, the more it turns me oooon.” Bam sang imitating badly Villes croon.
“Hey! They’re my lyrics!” Ville exclaimed.
“I know but what yours is mine and mine is yours!” Bam laughed jumping back out of Ville’s grasp. He let Ville catch him in his grasp. “But I have nothing to give to you but my heart and soul.” He said quietly, looking as innocent as an angel.
“My love even the tiniest fraction of your love would make me the happiest man on the planet for the rest of my life, even if it was only for a moment. You are everything to me. You. Just you, exactly the way you are.” Ville told the younger man.
Bam fell forward on to Ville, plunging his tongue into his mouth, probing every part, tongues tangling. When they eventually broke apart, only for an urgent need of breathage. Ville was straddling Bam’s stomach.
“These Mr Margera.” Gesturing to Bam’s clothes. “Need to go.” The Finn teased.
“I quite agree Mr Valo, and so do these.” Bam reached up to gently tug on the belt hoops on Ville’s black jeans. Then running his hands up Ville’s naked ribs, to his chest. Lightly tracing the outline of the heartagram around his nipple, giving it a gentle tweak. Ville remained still as he was loving Bam’s touch on him. Watching the concentration on Bam’s face made him want to laugh but didn’t in fear of breaking to moment. Oh so long he had longed for moments like this. Moments he had only ever thought possible in his frequent dreams of the man under him. Ville climbed off, tugging on Bam’s jeans. They undid each other’s pants, Ville lifted Bam’s t-shirt over his head, holding in a gasp at the body beneath, sure he’d seen Bam shirtless before, but never allowed to touch, and now he was he intended to make the most of it. Bam flipped Ville over kneeing over him, he kissed Ville lightly, then dragged his tongue down his neck and chest, all the way down to the waistband of his lover’s boxers, and just when Ville thought he’d be drifting off to cloud nine. There was a loud bang upstairs, the front door slamming shut, followed by the sound of April sobbing.
“Hold that thought honey, I’ll be right back.” Bam said with a wink, quickly pulling his jeans back on as he went out the door. This being the second time Bam had left Ville in bed; the Finn was starting to doubt whether Bam meant everything he had said.
Shut up, you stupid voice, Bam loves me, didn’t you hear him tell me, not more than five minutes ago! He’s just come out to him parents and his dad’s disowned him…Maybe that’s why he’s so keen to love me now, so that he’ll be loved in return…replacement technique replacing the love his father gave him for mine. No shut up now that is stupid. Then why’d he bolt? Shut up!! Do you not hear me shut the fuck up!! He’s only gone upstairs to check Ape, she’s just had to make the choice - lose her husband or lose a son or possibly both. Would Jess stand by his little brother to his dad? Oh My God this is so fucking complicated. I’ve fucked up Bam’s life. Argh why? Why couldn’t I have just kept it to myself...?
Ville’s thoughts were interrupted but the bang of the front door opening and sound of the rest of the crew coming home. Ville glanced at the clock. The one he’d got Bam along with a load of other stuff for his birthday last year. “2:00am” flashed on the display. From the sound of it the guys were drunk. So surprised! Not! Ville listened quietly. Everything went silent for a few minutes. Then he heard Jess roar.
“I’ll fucking kill him, how could he do this to you, I thought he loved you, he’s supposed to fucking love you.” Ville jumped out of bed and shoved his clothes back on. Terrified that a very angry Jess Margera was about to storm down here and tear his head off. Jess didn’t come. There was so much noise going on upstairs he couldn’t hear what was being said. So he bit the bullet, took a deep breath and went up. He gasped in shock. The kitchen was trashed, the front room was trashed, every picture with Bam in was smashed, the decks on the wall were all broken and the big heartagram on the wall had been pulled down. Surely Phil didn’t do this. Ville thought to himself. He saw Bam sitting on the floor next to his mom with Jess on the other side of her and Ryan holding her hands. The rest of the guys were picking up the bits of broken glass and crockery. They all nodded to Ville as he walked by. He looked down to Ape, she was bleeding, and her nose was bleeding badly through the tissue Ryan was holding there. Why was Ryan holding it? Oh yeah, of course, ever since Bam was a kid, him and Dunn had been best friends and when Dunn’s parents had kicked him out Ape and Phil had always counted him as their son. This is a family moment I should leave. Ville turned to go.
“Hey, baby where you going?” Bam called.
“This is my fault, I’ve fucked everything up. I’ll help clear up the mess I’ve made then go. I understand you probably don’t want me and blame me, it's my fault.” Ville replied.
Bam whispered something to his mom, then got up and walked to Ville.
“It is not your fault, none of this is your fault, and the way Phil has acted isn’t your fault. He would have done it no matter when I told him, I had to at some point. When this is all sorted, I want you to stay with my mom while me and Jess go to find Phil. I know exactly where he’ll be. At Vito’s.” Bam said slowly and seriously.
“Bam, what are you going to do?” Ville asked a little scared of what the reply may be.
“I’ll answer that one little bro.” Jess answered stepping in. Ville stepped back still a little frightened. He’d seen Jess brawl; he knew what he could do. Jess stepped forward again and pulled Ville into a hug. “You’re family now Willa, you’re safe. In answer to your question, Bam isn’t going to do a whole lot. I’m the oldest this is my responsibility. The man formerly known as our father, hit my mom, he knocked her about as well as trashing Bam’s house. This needs to be sorted and I’m going to sort it. Just stay with Ape yeah Ville?” Jess said the big man’s voice shaking slightly.
“Of course.” Ville whispered hoarsely.
Title: Love you like I do
Pairing: Vam: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: don’t know
Disclaimer: Not mine, I can only wish. This never happened except in my sick mind haha
Dedication: To Catclaw - the perverter of minds and twister of innocence.
Chapter 5
As the Margera brothers shut the door behind them April instantly burst into tears again.
“Oh Ryan go with them, I can’t bear the thought of them getting into trouble because of me, no wait not you Ryan you’ll be just as bad, no Chris you go, you’ve been friends with Bam longest, and you Deron you can control Jess, please be careful..”
“I can control Jess; don’t know if I'm going to want to though.” Deron whispered.
“Yes Ape, we’ll look after your boys no problem, just you look after yourself right now OK?” Raab told her.
Deron and Raab just managed to clamber into the Hummer before Jess pulled away.
“What the fuck are you two doing here? This is for us to sort out guys, no offence, but this is family business.” Jess growled.
“None taken but we’ve been sent on orders of Ape, man I’m not going to be the one to make her cry anymore, we’re coming with, end of, we’ll even wait in the Hummer if you want, but it might take more the one of you to hold back Vito while, and I’m guessing here, you, Jess pound the shit out of your- Phil and dude you guys are the only family I got so deal ok.” Raab replied.
Deron simply nodded in agreement, shaking with anger, after his dad used to beat him and his mom this kind of shit made him bust blood vessels.
The four of them drove in silence along to where they figured Phil (West Chester’s most hated man) was. The only place he had to go, as it was Bam’s money they lived on. Although Phil was an asshole, he was a proud man and he wasn’t going to take money off of the reason he was leaving in the first place. So Jess drove straight over to Vito’s as Phil’s brother, he had to be there. They parked up out front and Jess had barely cut the engine before he’d jumped out and was hammering on the door.
“Open the door, you fucking fat cunt, come out here and face your son, face someone who’s big enough to take you on.” He continued to hammer to no answer.
“Dude maybe they’ve gone out.” Raab said quietly.
“No they’re fucking here, but the two fat fucks are too fucking chicken to come out and face the consequence of hitting my Mom.” Jess replied yelling so anyone within a mile radius could have heard him.
“Open this fucking door before I fucking kick it in and if you fucking call the cops you wife beating piece of shit we’ll have you up for fucking assault and battery.” Jess continue kicking and punching the door. “Open the door before I break it down you fucks.”
The door opened up, Vito blocking the frame.
“Jess he’s not here, he was but he figured you guys would look here first so he’s gone now, I don’t know where he’s gone now, maybe out of state, I don’t want any trouble.” The Margera boys’ uncle told them.
“Bollocks Vito man, we know he’s here let us in.” Bam yelled.
The others jumped, they had forgotten he was there, as the only time Bam is normally quiet is when he’s not there, and he hadn’t said anything since they had left the house.
“No can do kiddo, no one’s coming in.” Vito replied.
“Fuck this, Vito either move out the way or be moved, it’s your choice, Phil got a cab over here, which you must have paid for because the fat sponger has been living off of me and Bam for years, he hasn’t got any money. Now get the fuck out of the way or get his cowardly ass out here to face me like a man. Why the fuck are you protecting him, he hit my mom, he hit a woman, he’s, he’s…” Jess stopped lost for words to some up how low that man was.
“Scum.” Deron said quietly. “He’s scum.”
The four of them paused, before, as if by psychic ability, they all rushed the door barging Vito out of the way. Lo and behold standing uncertainly by the kitchen door as if he didn’t know what was going to happen next was Phil. Jess froze, now actually facing him; he didn’t exactly know what to do. All the way to the house he’d been so furious he wanted to tear Phil’s head off, but now standing before his father he wasn’t so sure. Yes Phil was still his father, no matter how much he despised him he was still his father and always would be, nothing could ever change that. He thought for a second and the image of his mother lying on the kitchen floor, blood pouring from several wounds on her face surrounded by the pieces of broken crockery and furniture formed in his mind’s eye. The anger returned to him, surging to through his blood with a mass hit of adrenaline he lunged forward punching Phil in the face, then another and another, his blows raining down on the overweight bastard. Phil fell to the floor blood coming from his mouth and nose. Jess leapt down on to him and just kept punching him, tears running down his face. Hitting him until he couldn’t hit anymore. Phil didn’t fight back; sure he could hit a woman but now a man. Coward.
“Jess stop. Jess STOP. You’re going to fucking kill him. STOP JESS STOP. For fucks sake.” Yelled Deron grabbing Jess’s arms and pulling him up, he pushed Jess away, into Bam. Bam went to step forward to Phil.
“Dude, it’s finished” Deron told him.
Bam simply side stepped him, he leaned forward over the bloodied mess lying on Vito’s kitchen floor and spat on it and walked away back to the Hummer. The group walked by Phil each pausing to copy Bam. Vito just stood there dumbstruck in his usual useless sack of shit way.
The four of them got into the Hummer and drove, once again in silence, back to Castle Bam. There were two police cars outside the house when they pulled up.
“Shit, you don’t think Vito called the cops do you?” Raab gibbered, terrified. “Man look at Jess’s hands he’ll go to jail.”
“I’ll drop you guys off and go stay at a motel for the night, call me when the coast is clear ok guys?” Jess answered in monotone.
The three piled out and waved Jess off before walking heads held high back to the house.
“Oh, Bam!” April exclaimed rushing to her youngest son, grabbing him into a warm embrace. The blood gone from her face, replaced by some heavy bruising.
Bam’s eyes briefly flitting to Ville who was perched on the edge of the sofa next to where Ape had previously been sitting, the Finn’s eyes filled with worry and concern. About twenty cigarette butts in the ashtray in front of him and another one in his hand.
“Mom why are the cops here?” Bam whispered into her hair.
“It’s ok sweetie, we were just telling these nice gentlemen how those men broke in, wrecked the house and beat me up when you boys were at the bar and you and your brother and Chris and Deron went looking for them, did you find them?”
“No mom they’re long gone.” Bam replied catching on.
“Well, thank-you for your statement Ma’am, you’ll be ok now your son and his friends are home.” One of the officers said stepping towards the door but looking wantonly at Bam, like he wanted to say something to him. He obviously thought against it as he led the other three cops outside, shutting the door behind them.
“Ok I better phone Jess we thought Vito had called the cops on us.” Bam said going to step toward the kitchen.
“It’s Ok, you stay with your mother, and I’ll phone Jess.” Ville said quietly, getting up moving toward the kitchen, stopping to briefly kiss Bam on the cheek. “I’m sorry.”
Ville walked out to the kitchen and punched Jess’s number into the phone.
“Hi, Jess, everything’s Ok, you can come home, a neighbour called the cops.
So it wasn’t Vito? Ok I was just driving around anyway. Is my mom Ok?
Yeah, she’s much better, she just wants you home. How’s…how’s Phil?
He’ll live but I think I busted a couple of knuckles on his flabby face though, good job I'm only a drummer eh? Jess said with a half laugh.
See you soon
See you soon, and Ville, look after my little brother, yeah?
I will.
They both hung up, and Ville walked back into the front room and started helping the others clear up the destruction, hurricane Phil had left.
“Baby, come with me.” Bam whispered in Ville’s ear, arms wrapping around his slender waist.
Ville took his boyfriend’s hand and allowed himself to be led out to the huge back garden.
“Bam I love you. I was so scared when you left, I was so scared Bam.” Ville burst into tears and buried his face into Bam’s chest. “I love you.”
“I love you too, I love you so much, nothing is ever going to change that ever ok? You never have to be scared again. I won’t let anything hurt us or you ever again, ok baby? Ok?” Bam whispered hugging his boyfriend close. He lifted Ville’s chin to look into those big green eyes that made his insides melt every time. Bam leant forward and pressed his lips softly to Ville’s. Ville straightened pushing harder, trying somehow to show how desperately he loved Bam with his kiss.
The sound of someone clearing their throat made the couple break apart; making it the third time they’d been interrupted in one night. They looked up to see Jess standing in the doorway. Holding a pack of ice between his fists.
“Bro, how long you been standing there?” Bam queried.
“Long enough to know it was worth it. Come inside you don’t have to hide out here to be together, and it’s getting cold. Everyone in here loves you both.” Bam’s big brother answered.
“Thank you Jess, we’ll be right in.” Ville spoke up, wiping his tears away.
Once he was sure Jess had gone and they weren’t being watched by anyone else Bam pulled Ville back into his arms, pressing a kiss to his forehead,
“I love you and I’m sorry, but I, I’m never going to let you go. Ever.”
“That’s good because I’m not going to let you go either.” Ville replied smiling for the first time since they had been interrupted in the bedroom what seemed like years ago when in fact it was only a few hours ago.
The pair walked back in holding hands.
“Mom you ok?” Bam asked.
“Yeah I am now, now both my boys are home and the house is as fixed as it can be tonight.” Ape replied.
“Ok if me and Ville go to bed now? we’re kind of tired.” Bam asked. Followed immediately by a series of woos, crude noises and gestures and wolf whistles made by his friends.
“Shut up guys we’re going to bed to sleep nothing else. Ok? OKAY?!” Bam exclaimed to trying to prove his point to the number of raised eyebrows and suspicious faces that were before him.
“Ok lil bro no need to get you panties in a twist, go jump on Ville in your room.” Jess laughed.
Bam made a dramatic noise of exasperation but none the less theatrically minced out of the room and down the stairs leaving Ville standing there very embarrassed.
“Err, night guys.” He said as he left the room making himself not run.
Title: Love you like I do
Pairing: Vam: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: R,
Disclaimer: Not mine, I can only wish. This never happened except in my sick mind haha
Dedication: To Catclaw - the perverter of minds and twister of innocence.
Chapter 1 - The Beginning
They met at an awards ceremony, introduced by executives, keen to push Ville and HIM into the mainstream cult which Bam, Steve-o and the Jackass crew of misfits were leading. Although it was clear to everyone, except the mindless fat cats that the two images did not mesh. Ville with his dark, shy, romantic, gothic swoon which surrounded him like the smoke from one of his constantly smouldering Marlboro Lights. Then there was Bam and his brash, loud, crude, motley crue of maniacs. However despite the initial an obvious difference between Ville and Bam there was an instant connection. Most obviously helped by the odd fact that Ville was the front man of Bam’s most favourite band of all time. After Bam had got over his initial and odd star struck awe of this slither of a man. The two embarked on an unsuspecting friendship which grew and blossomed. Each finding solace in the others opposite.
----*----
It had been roughly two years since Bam and Ville’s first awkward meeting.
They had long since got over that original shyness. Which had in the beginning been especially difficult for Ville who had a tough time letting people in, letting people through those high walls he had long ago built up around himself. Now the two did practically everything together drink, eat, party, work together and sometimes they’d fall asleep together as well. Dunn always joked that Ville and Bam were like an old married couple the way they knew what the other was thinking and finished each others sentences. After the first year Bam had even started pronouncing Ville’s name correctly, *vee-lay* instead of the usual yank mispronunciation *vee-la or vi-la*. Or when Bam was being particularly affectionate the two had the joke of making all the ‘v’ s ‘w’. Giving words that Jonathan Ross touch.
----*----
Ville normally participated fully in Bam and the others antics. Especially in the Jagermeister drinking competitions (damn those Finns can drink) but tonight he was more sultry than usual. Something was eating away at the gothic one, something that had been bothering him for the last month. He was the first to admit, maybe not openly but to himself when he was alone in his fortress. One that in recent weeks had become his fortress of tears, Ville was in love. Well for someone of Ville’s *ah hem* talents you could be forgiven for thinking that this man could have any woman he so chose. And you’d probably be right. The problem was it wasn’t any woman that made his stomach somersault at the sound of their voice, made his insides writhe like snakes at the mere mention of their name, made his skin goose bump at the slightest touch. That feeling of total devotion, that feeling of despair when without them, was all for one person. His best friend, Bam Margera.
***********
“Yo, Ville!” The American’s loud greeting shook Ville out of his deep contemplation. Bam slumped down beside his pal. “What’s happening bro, why the long face?”
“I...err...huh...nothing.” the sexy Finn replied, not quite managing to meet his accomplice’s gaze.
“You sure dude? You’ve sat here all night looking like someone’s died, anything I can do to cheer you up?” Bam pressed on tickling Ville’s ribs making him squirm in his seat. Ville looked up into those big unnaturally blue eyes.
Fuck he’s gorgeous he thought. I know something that would make me walk on air, but you’d be disgusted to know what I had in mind. the slender one continue to ponder.
“Come and join us.” Bam pleaded with his friend. Letting his deep tones drop to a whisper, “*please*” he added.
His soft beer and smoke scented breath caressed Ville’s cheek. God how I love the way he smells.
“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Ville obliged thinking it was probably another skater loony to add to Bam’s large group of friends. “I met her last night.”
HER!!
Ville’s green eyed monster reared its fittingly gothic heads from the pit of his stomach. His eyes flashed, his cheeks flushing instantly. Bam noticed and paused, letting Ville’s tattooed wrist slip from his grasp. Bam checked over his friend noticing how glassy those unique green eyes suddenly looked.
“Man you ok?”
Ville faked a bemused smile, “uh…what oh yea fine just got a piece of ash in my eye, stings that’s all. Don’t worry bout me I’ll catch you up, just nipping to the men’s.” he faux grinned.
“Ok see you in a bit then.” Bam smirked and bounded back to his rabble.
Get a grip, get a grip. The sentence pounding inside Ville’s head with every step. There’s someone I want you to meet, I met her the other night. Bam’s words reverberating in his ears.
He threw open the door to the men’s rest room, where he met an old ‘friend’, and did the exchange for a little clear plastic bag of his favourite white powder.
Just a couple of lines, to sharpen up. He thought to himself.
This was one (other) thing he’d never tell Bam about, Bam couldn’t abide by any drugs…except the odd bit of weed that is. Ville straightened himself up and looked in the mirror, briefly noting the sudden largess of his pupils.
He washed his hands and as he crossed to the door back out to the bar thought time to face the music, lets see who this little slut Bam’s met is, she won’t be good enough for him whoever she is.
He was absorbed in his thoughts right up to when he reached Bam’s table, it was only Rake throwing a damp napkin at him that shook him from his thoughts. A little embarrassed at being caught out like that he took a seat as close to the edge of the group as possible.
“Dude do I stink or something? Why you all the way over there? Come sit next to me then!” Bam hollered over the din.
“Wha…oh well there didn’t seem to be any space especially with our new guest,” he said casting a disdainful hidden sneer at the girl draped over Bam. Good point, shove up Jenn, make room for his skinny ass and you can get a chair” he said to Rake shoving him practically to the floor.
All eyes were on Ville waiting for his move. “Erm there really was no need for that I was fine here, but as you insist.” he answered as he stood and moved.
Oh so gracefully Bam secretly noted. The Finn took his seat next to his friend.
“So I believe you have some introductions to make Bammie.” Deliberately pet naming him to show this bitch who Bam belonged to, casting another glance at the clearly put out looking brunette on the other side of the skater.
“Oh yea, Ville, Jenn, Jenn, Ville. Jenn works in PR. Well I don’t have to say what Ville does.” Bam said, gesturing to the speaker above their heads which was currently blaring out “Buried Alive by Love”, one other thing that annoyed Ville about this bar - they always played his music when he was in, despite frequent requests for them not to.
Jenn looked shocked. “This is you?” she asked, pointing from the speaker to Ville in a moronic gesture as if he couldn’t understand English.
Slightly mockingly Ville replied, “Well not on my own obviously,” and gestured to his band mates sitting at the bar waiting for their food. The whole group laughed, except Jenn who looked a little ashen faced, Ville almost felt sorry for her. Almost.
********
The two friends didn’t realise how much noise they were making stumbling down the corridor towards Ville’s apartment, until someone yelled for them to shut up. Giggling they fell through the Finns front door.
“Soooo what did ya think of her then mate?” Bam eagerly, yet slightly drunkenly quizzed Ville.
“Erm, she was nice I suppose if you like that sort of thing…and you certainly seem to” he added almost distainfully.
“Dude what’s that supposed to mean?” Bam asked trying to keep the hurt out of his voice. The first girl he ever introduces to Ville an all he gets is sarcasm and he’d been trying to make Jenn feel stupid all night. Bam just didn’t get it, Was Ville jealous? That someone was interested in him instead of always Ville?
Ah, the poor misguided skater he was partly right, jealous yes, but not of Bam, of Jenn. All night yes, Ville had been nasty to Jenn making her feel stupid, and uncomfortable but only because it had been killing him watching the two together, watching her making Bam smile and laugh the way Ville make him laugh and smile. Now all Ville wanted to do was lie alone in bed and brood or sob whichever came first then have a brief wank, thinking of course of Bam and then sleep or at least lie there with his eyes closed. But that small luxury had been denied him because fucking Raab, Ryan, Chad and his new girlfriend Aliye (nice not being the only foreigner) had demanded Bam partake in several shot competitions and got him totally wasted. Normally Ville revelled in situations like this, a chance to be alone with Bam, when Bam took on his intelligent alter-ego, and they’d talk all night or get totally rat-assed and get hopelessly romantic.
After they got in Bam just stood in the hall like a spare part, most unlike him as he’d stayed at Ville’s so many times he knew the roof top apartment better than he knew his own place, and was almost part of the furniture. Ville had once joked that if Bam stayed much longer he’d have to start paying him rent.
“I’ll just make up the guest room go and sit down, grab a drink or something man, don’t just stand there.” Ville’s deep tones came in from the other end of the hall. Bam didn’t move. “Bammie, look I'm sorry for not being very nice to that Jenn girl ok, I've just got a lot on my mind at the moment.” No response. “Listen next time we all go out I’ll be super nice, I’ll even buy her something to make up for my un-gentlemanly behaviour if it means that much to you, Bammie, Bammie talk to me please.”
“Yea, ok man, don’t worry bout it ok, apology accepted, I can't stay mad at you for too long anyway.” Bam looked up into Ville’s startling green eyes with his own piercing blue ones. There I saw it again, the look he gave me in the bar. Bam thought to himself, as he noticed the love momentarily shine through Ville at him. “Hey, dude why you bothering with the guest room? I haven’t kipped in there since you bought this place. What you ain’t got space for lil ‘ole me in your bed anymore?”
Bam pouted, reaching forward to tickle his friends’ ribs making Ville squirm on the spot and making him note how his already tight jeans suddenly felt even tighter. He pulled out of Bam’s grasp. Leaving the skater with a confused look on his face.
“Ok I’ll just go to the loo, why don’t you go warm up the bed for me then honey.” Ville teased.
Bams only response was to poke out his tongue and pretend to mince off to the bedroom, just following orders…
Ville collapsed through the bathroom door leaning on it shut behind him.
Come on Ville get a hold of yourself, he’s not going to be interested in a queer like you, he likes girls remember, he likes Jenn, and you almost made him hate you tonight!
He looked down and noted how much strain was being put on the front of his black jeans from his throbbing hard-on. He peeled them off, carefully folding them an putting them into the laundry basket, walked to the toilet, leant on the wall in front of him he reached down to his hard on, immediately started to stroke his cock roughly, he pictured Bam as he’d been in the bar that night, laughing and joking, he removed Jenn out of the picture and replaced himself in her place, with Bam’s arm round his shoulders, Bam kissing him, perhaps dropping his hand below the table to stroke Ville through his jeans. He pictured Bam right now lying naked in Ville’s huge gothic oak bed, beckoning to him from the silk sheets. He shuddered as he came into the toilet bowel just as the door opened to the image of Bam standing there in his boxers. Bam forced himself not to ogle Ville’s naked butt.
Ville looked over his shoulder. “Dude, what the fuck get out I'm taking a piss.”
“Sorry man you just took so long, hey if you taking a piss why ain’t you pissing…ooh...oopsy sorry I’ll wait in bed” Bam realising why his friend had been so long, he was having some “alone time”.
Bam smiled to himself as he backed out of the door, wonder if he was thinking about me like how I think about him. Get real Bam, tonight he was jealous of you pulling instead of him…or was he? Dammit of course he was, what you think he was jealous of Jenn, get real!
“Ok you caught me,” Ville joked trying to hide the fact he was blushing a deep red.
He jumped in beside his friend, now he was wearing a clean pair of black shorts.
“So what you wanna do now drink more, watch T.V or a movie, have a chat or sleep?” the American asked.
“Erm, up to you tonight, I don’t feel like drinking anymore though.” The Finn replied.
“Oh I'm so glad you said that I think I’ll throw up if I drink anymore.” Bam said.
“Well I've checked the TV mag,” he said gesturing to the magazine on the floor. “And there’s nothing on the box, so you wanna sleep or talk, I'm not sleepy though.” After seeing you having a jerk, that thought’s enough to keep me up all night.
“OK then,” replied the sultry voice of the slender pale figure beside him, “stay up all night talking it is.”
Title: Love you like I do
Pairing: Vam: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: R,
Disclaimer: Not mine, I can only wish. This never happened except in my sick mind haha
Dedication: To Catclaw - the perverter of minds and twister of innocence.
Chapter 2
“So Bammie, what’s new with work, you got any new projects in the pipeline?” Ville tentatively asked.
“Oh yea MTV have commissioned me my own show, like Jackass but better, like the CKY films but naturally tamer, we’re gonna call it “Viva la Bam”, and I was wondering if you’d appear in some of the shows…” Bam replied.
“Oh course I would, would I ever refuse you anything.” And I mean anything. Ville said.
“So man what’s new with HIM, you gotta tour coming up yeah?” Bam enquired.
“Yes we do, Main stage at the UK Download Festival, so loads a promo work, apparently I'm more interview friendly than the other guys and I've been asked to be on a cover feature for Kerrang with….and this is where it gets exciting… Slash from Velvet Revolver and OZZY OSBOURNE, I mean to be in an interview with him, the guy’s a living legend, and you know how much of a inspiration Sabbath have been to the band, I'm looking forward to it so much, then after the festival spot, a UK tour, then into the studio. Hope your not gonna be to busy to drop by and see me.” Ville pouted.
“Well I got a pretty busy schedule myself.” What was I thinking of course he’s not going to fly to the UK for a visit. Ville cursed himself.
What am I doing, passing up an opportunity to be close to him after a lot of time apart? Bam cursed himself equally. “But I'm sure I can make time for you. Moving on from work talk, it's reminding me how much I've still got to do in prep for the show before we can start shooting. So what do you think of this Aliye chick Chad’s now “officially dating”? Bit too emo, but she’s almost as crazy as me on a board and Chad says she’s a good guitarist too.”
“I like her, it’s nice not being the only foreigner, half Turkish Cypriot, half Irish and born in the UK, quite a mixture. Yes she is a talented musician Chad played me her demo, its original and dark I liked it. Personality wise she fits in perfectly with the group, I think, mad as a hatter.” Ville chuckled.
“Yea, but she defiantly cheated to beat me at shots earlier, no girl can down that many and not be falling over.” Bam pointed out.
“Perhaps my lovely, she can just hold her booze better than you.” Ville rebutted.
“OK, OK moving on again, you really gonna tell me what your problem was with Jenn? I mean I trust your judgement on people, but you were really mean, and I don’t buy that bullshit, you got a lot on your mind, you weren’t shitty with anyone else, even when Shitgoose was taking the piss outa Finland you just laughed.” Bam demanded.
“Erm, hey I already apologised for that, Bammie can't you just drop it now.”
“No I won't drop it I want an explanation, what is it Ville, jealous?” Ville looked up sharply in the dark.
Is it possible he knows how I feel?
“Jealous someone actually liked me over you, yea that’s right she didn’t even know who you were.” Bam continued, waspishly.
“No Bam that was not it, it actually made a nice change, you know full well I do not milk the attention I get, unlike some. I do not want to fight with you, I said I'm sorry now can we leave it at that, we’ve both had too much to drink.” Tears beginning to fall down his white cheeks, he silently thanked God once again for the darkness so that Bam could not see him like this. But Bam heard his sudden shortness of breath and heard him quietly sniff, as one does when they weep.
“Dude what’s the matter, hey I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” No answer. “Hey man I'm really sorry ok, I’ll shut up now…seriously man what’s wrong?”
Bam instinctively wrapped his arms round Ville’s slender shoulders in an embrace, trying futilely to comfort his friend; Ville looked up at him, their faces mere inches apart. Bam swallowed and closed the gap between their already parted mouths. Tasting the salt from Ville’s tears. They kissed for a moment before Ville pulled away and gasped. Bam instantly flushed and jumped out of bed grabbing his clothes from the floor and practically run out of the room before Ville had a chance to say or do anything. Ville was still frozen in his spot in bed when he heard the apartment door slam. He automatically reached for the phone and punched in Bam’s number, not needing to even look at the key pad…no answer. No point leaving a message he never listens to them.
“Paska, paska, paska, PASKA!” Ville exclaimed aloud.
* * * * *
Ville was awoken by his phone vibrating next to his head. Indicating he had a message. He launched himself upon the Motorola. Praying with every particle of his mortal fibre it was from Bam. “1 new message, from Raab.” Flashed up on the screen. The vocalist sighed deeply.
“Hey dude, duno wat hapned between u n Bambam last nite he turnd up @ mine bout 4am. Wudnt tlk bout it, u cumin 2 the bar 2nite? Tb Raab”
After much deliberation Ville replied that he would indeed be there about 8ish. He got up and showered before he went to meet the rest of HIM for band practise,
* * * * *
Raab, Rake, Dico and the others stood by the rail watching Bam.
“Dude I ain’t seen Bam skate this hard, since 9th grade when he broke up with that Rachel chick. Damn that girl broke his heart, cheating on him with that foreign exchange student Ewan, horny Scottish bastard.” Rake commented to the others.
“Yeah man that was just before I got kicked out... haha, remember that Ewan kid’s face when he saw all the shit on his locker, that’ll teach him not to mess with my best bud’s girl…haha” Raab replied.
“Yea but you got kicked out and Bam dropped out because of it, that’s why you two are dumbshits” the group fell about laughing.
Bam skated over. “Hey what you lot laughing at?”
“Nothing man just remembering when Raab got kicked out, then you dropped out.” Dunn answered
“Oh yeah man I ain’t never seen Ape flip out so much, she was worse then, than when we built the half pipe in the front room for MTV!” Bam chuckled, which was the cue for more hysterics. “So what we doing tonight? I'm in the mood for getting totally wasted…again.” Bam laughed.
“Erm, I figured we’d go to the bar bout 7:30, then maybe go on to somewhere else if it gets boring.” Raab told his friend.
The others nodded in agreement.
“OK men, whatever, just make sure the alcohol is flowing freely, and some hot chicks are there, that Jenn girl is boring me now, I just want some action.”
The group marched out of the park chanting “BRING ON THE BEER, BRING ON THE HOES, BRING ON THE BEER…..”
Title: Love you like I do
Pairing: Vam: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: R,
Disclaimer: Not mine, I can only wish. This never happened except in my sick mind haha
Dedication: To Catclaw - the perverter of minds and twister of innocence.
Chapter 3
The group were already sitting in their usual spot when Ville sauntered in.
Oh, no sign of Bammie, great he knows I'm coming and is a no show, he’s avoiding me, he’s never going to want to speak to me again, shit, shit, shit.
As Ville’s intense paranoia kicked in, his presence was noted by the group.
“Yo Ville, you coming over or what?” Chad hollered over the din.
As Ville approached the table he noticed a gap where Bam usually sat, along with a glass on whiskey on the table in front of it.
He’s here! Ville’s stomach did a somersault.
“Hey where’s Bambam?” the Finn enquired carefully. Trying to act as if it wasn’t the sole reason for his presence here tonight.
“Oh he’s just gone to take a piss.” Raab answered a little too honest as always. “So you going to tell us what happened last night or what dude?”
“What? Oh a total misunderstanding.”
“Well Bam said he tried to kiss you and you knocked him back.”
Ville just sat there looking shocked.
“Don’t look so surprised mate, we’ve known about our lil’ Bam having the hots for you for months, just wondered when he was going to do something about it.” Jess told the Finn.
“B…B…but Bam’s straight.” Ville managed to stammer out.
“Nah, our man’s bi, swings both ways. So do you dontcha? Jess continued.
“Erm…no I don’t,” he paused, “I'm gay all the way.” He laughed.
“Then what? You don’t fancy my little bro?” Jess asked teasingly.
“No I do. I really do, I was just shocked and I didn’t want a drunken one nighter that would end in Bam being awkward with me and ruining our friendship. Looks like I messed that one up anyway.”
“No way dude, you can fix this you just got to explain exactly what you just told us to him, but do it slow he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.” Raab explained.
Right on cue Bam strolled over to the table, he froze at the sight of Ville.
“Oh hi man,” he said awkwardly to the man he was sure hated and was disgusted by him.
“Hey Bam I think you and Willa Walo need to go have a little chat,” Raab pushed.
“Yea good idea, c’mon Bam I think we need to talk.”
What the fuck am I going to say to him? How can I find the words to express my love?
Great now I'm going to get the whole, I like you but not in that way speech, this is going to be fun
He cast a questioning look to his friends but none the less obediently followed Ville to the car park.
“So what do you want Ville? You made you feelings pretty clear last night.” Bam demanded a little exasperated.
Ville stepped closer to Bam; he took both the skaters hands. Bam held in a gasp at the big startling emerald green eyes piecing into his. Those very eyes that Bam had first fallen so desperately in love with.
“Brandon, Bam, Bambam, my Bammie. I am so sorry.” Bam cut him off and pulled away trying to hide the tears now streaming down his face.
“If this is the part where you tell me you like me a lot, but only as a friend, then save it ok.”
“Why couldn’t you let me finish, you never listen do you. Bam…Bam look at me.” Ville’s deep tones replied sounding so full of sorrow it made Bam’s heart break all over again.
Bam slowly turned desperately trying to hide his tears. But before he had time to compose himself Ville stepped forward and pushed his lips to Bam’s. Oh how Ville had ached to taste those sweet full lips. Bam reciprocated pulling Ville even closer still, his hands tangling into the Finn’s hair. Ville tenderly opened his mouth sliding his tongue into Bam’s eagerly awaiting one. The younger man gently sucked on it. Ville groaned as his already tight pants got impossibly tighter once more He grabbed Bam’s hips thrusting his erection into the skater’s very own. The sultry singer had to do everything not to cream then and there in his pants at the sensation of Bam’s rock hard dick digging into his groin.
A bright flash caused the couple to break apart. They both stood staring about, bleary eyed, squinting into the darkness for where the light had come from. Their questioning was soon answered as a dozen or so journalists descended upon them, what felt like a thousand camera flashes went off in front of then. Ruining their first real tender moment.
“Bam, Ville, over here, over here…how long have you two been gay? When’s the blessing? Guys, guys c’mon look at the camera.”
Ville turned to them shielding his eyes,
“No comment, until our press statements which will be made through our representatives, now please leave!” Bam was genuinely surprised at his, his, he didn’t know what Ville was to him anymore but one thing was certain. They were more than “just good friends” now. The Finn turned back to Bam, with utter grief in his emerald green eyes and mouthed ‘sorry’ to him, before grabbing his arm and dragging him back to the bar.
“Ok dudes, big problem! Press just caught me and Willa in the middle of making out, we have to leave right now.” Bam practically yelled. Dunn and Raab leapt into action.
“Dude no worries me and the guys have been planning for this sort of situation ever since you made the big time, we figured it was only a matter of time before you did something to get the media to mob you.”
“The permanently broken toilet in the men’s bathroom. Its broken coz it’s not real, it’s a door to a garage, where there’s a van waiting. Kenny let us install it as we spend so much fucking money in this place.” Raab continued from where Dunn had left off, smiling over to the bar where a portly Kenny stood behind the bar cleaning glasses.
Bam positively grinned at this. Oh man did he have the best friends in the whole world.
“Ok stop gawping and you and Willa Walo get going, we’ll make a distraction.”
“Oh and Bam go back to the Castle, no offence Ville but your place is hardly secure” Jess added.
Ville nodded in admittance. Bam’s brother was totally right, his apartment was hardly safe. He had been unconsciously been letting things get more and more dangerous, walking about late at night, ‘forgetting’ his ventalin, willing someone or something to put him out of his misery. But things had to change, he had Bam now. He mentally shook himself He had Bam now.
“Ville, Ville, c’mon man lets get the hell outa here!”
With a parting look of gratitude to his friends the skater and the musician ran. Just as they crashed into the toilets, they heard the commotion in the bar, the paparazzi were in the building, and they had to get out. Then Jess’ loud raucous voice
“Aw fella’s all those cameras for lil ole’ CKY, if I’d known you were going to pay us a visit, I’d have changed my shirt.”
“This is our cue,” Ville hissed to Bam.
“Quick check everywhere, they’ve got to still be here!” Someone yelled from the bar.
The couple ran into the cubicle and just as the crew had said the back wall was in fact a door, leading out to a garage, with a van waiting. Ville passed Bam the keys Raab had passed to him. After all Ville didn’t even own a car, there was no way he’d be able to drive this. Bam started to ignition, then sat there.
“What c’mon lets get out of here my love.” Ville urged on his lover?.
“It's just…” Bam started but stopped again.
“What Bammie?”
“It’s just all this,” he said gesturing all around. “It’s a lot to take in, when I came to the bar tonight I thought you hated me, and now we’re running from the press together.”
“I know baby, I know.”
“No I don’t think you do and what was that about press release, I haven’t even told Ape and Phil bout my liking for guys, yet now I’m telling everyone?”
“Well baby, if you make a press release or you don’t those pictures will speak for themselves and they will be plastered all over the papers tomorrow, you’re a big deal in this country. So I suggest when we get in I make myself scarce and you have a little heart to heart with your parents, I’m sure they’ll be cool.”
“I don’t know Ville this is all a bit too much you know, and what do I tell them about us, is there an ‘us’, what the hell is going on?”
“I love you Brandon Cole Margera, that’s what’s going on.”
“Well that’s good then,” Bam grinned, “cos’ I love you too Ville Hermanni Valo. Bu…”
Ville cringed at the use of his middle name.
“No buts honey, well not until later,” the older man answered with a twinkle in his eye.
Silently they drove. There were already film crews outside the front gates at Bam’s place so they drove around to the back. As Bam parked up, the Finn slipped his hand onto Bam’s muscular thigh.
“This isn’t exactly how I pictured our first night together.”
“Me either” Bam said solemnly.
The seriousness of Bam’s toned made Ville burst out laughing. “Come on, let’s go inside and face the music.”
Title: Love you like I do
Pairing: Vam: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: don’t know
Disclaimer: Not mine, I can only wish. This never happened except in my sick mind haha
Dedication: To Catclaw - the perverter of minds and twister of innocence.
Chapter 4
It was unusually quiet in the Margera house when our lovers arrived.
“BRANDON COLE MARGERA!”
“Ape! What the fuck! What have I done to get middle named?” Bam whined to his mother.
“I don’t know, but how am I supposed to get where I need to go with all those paparazzi out there? What trouble have you got yourself into this time?” April continued to berate her son.
“April.” The smoothness of Ville’s voice instantly calming Bam’s mother. “I’m very sorry about all the commotion outside but it’s my fault, I’m afraid.”
“Oh no Ville don’t you try to cover for *him*.” She replied, her tone softening
“I assure you I’m not. However Bam does have a few things he needs to discuss with you and Phil.”
“Huh? What’s my boy go to discuss? We’re not having another film crew in here Bam, and no more rock stars. Except you of course Ville.”
“Thank you Phil,” Ville said graciously. “I’ll wait in you room Bammie.” Ville almost whispered praying that Bam’s little chat would go well. Bam nodded with a small smile.
“Uh, mom, dad, there’s something I’ve needed to talk to you about for a while now.” Bam said uncertainly.
“Oh no, this has got to be bad, he hasn’t called us mom and dad since he was eight.” Phil mentioned to Ape, cutting Bam in his tracks.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is too hard maybe I’ll just tell them something else and then when the papers come out tell them it was a dare and I was stoned.
No Bam don’t be an idiot your whole life they’re not *that* stupid to buy that shit. You need to tell them.
DON’T WANNA!!
DO IT!!!
Ok Ok!!
Bam shook the little voices arguing in his head away, he took a deep breath.
It’s now of never, come on big fella; let’s get on with the show.
“Bam honey, whatever it is you know we’ll always support you, we always have with you skating and all the MVT stuff and your production.” Ape told Bam looking at his worried face.
“Well mom, this isn’t like my skating shit, or any of the other stuff.”
“What’s the worst it can be son, after everything you’ve done. Next you’ll be telling us you’re gay!” Phil laughed. Bam wished before he spoke next that he’d known that that would be the last time Phil ever called Bam son.
Bam looked at the floor, unable to meet his father’s gaze. He felt ashamed of what he had to say.
“Oh God! You’re not fucking gay. My son isn’t gay. You…You’ve had girlfriends and, and stuff.” Phil roared.
“Nuh uh Phil. I’m not gay.” He paused to take a deep breath, knowing from what his father had just said whatever reaction he got was not going to be a good one. “But…” Phil sucked back in his sigh of relief. “I’m bisexual, ok?”
“Oh Bam!” Ape squealed happily, wrenching her son into a lung crushing hug.
“Ok, you’re not freaking out in a bad way, this is good.” Bam gasped nervously through his mum’s hug.
When Ape finally released him from her death grip embrace he looked to Phil, who hadn’t said anything for a while. He looked to his Dad for some sort of reaction from his big revelation. He didn’t get one. Phil couldn’t look Bam in the face he was so ashamed and angry.
“Phil?...Phil?!” Bam repeated. He got nothing. Bam wanted to cry, he’d done it now, after everything he’d put his family through, the thing that made his dad hate him was him being happy.
“PHIL!” Ape screeched impaitentally.
“What the… No it’s not true. My son is not a faggot. I only have one son now.” He said voice shaking
Bam could feel some anger of his own rising inside him, absorbing all the choked up feelings of rejection.
“Look, if you don’t like that your son’s bent. Well, well you can go get bent. You fucking bigot. Jess knows, he’s cool with it, the guys know, they’re cool. Even freaking Novak’s cool with it. Now you can either accept it or not, it’s who I am. Either way it’s going to be all over the papers tomorrow morning, along with pictures of me and Ville making out in the car lot of Kenny’s! So There!” Bam yelled unable to contain his rage any longer.
Phil, without warning, punched Bam in the face, knocking him to the ground. Ape screamed, but was frozen in shock. Bam put his hand to his mouth, he felt blood trickle out of the right corner of his mouth. That was one hell of a blow to knock Bam down and make him bleed. He pulled himself from the ground.
“Fuck you, you can knock me down but I’ll always get straight back up.” Bam said slowly, still shocked himself that his father struck him.
“You’re not my son, my son is dead.” Phil spat back.
“Fine then if I’m dead.” Bam paused trying to gain control. “What the fuck are you doing in my fucking house? Get the fuck out and don’t fucking come back, you wanker.” Bam screamed at him.
Phil just walked off. Silent tears rolling down April’s cheeks.
“Fuck this!” Bam said vehemently as he walked off towards his room.
“I love you baby,” April said in a hoarse whisper.
Bam paused at the door, but carried on walking. As he walked in his bedroom door, the sight that he beheld froze him to the spot. Ville was lying on his bed shirtless.
“I take it by your deafening stomps and slams it didn’t go well honey?” Ville almost whispered.
“Ape’s cool, Phil, well Phil said I was as good as dead to him, but fuck him if I’m dead he can get the fuck out of my house and stop living off me, like he has ever since my skating took off.” Bam replied forcefully. Quite surprised at the force of his answer, he, quite unexpectedly to himself and Ville, he burst into tears. Now that the shock of what he had just said had hit him, and the realisation that his own father didn’t want him, just because of whom he loved. Ville crawled closer to the younger man. He silently cupped Bam’s slightly stubbly cheek and looked deep into his eyes. He couldn’t bear to see him this way. With every one of Bam’s sobs Ville could almost literally feel his heart fall to pieces.
I love your skin oh so white
I love your touch cold as ice
And I love every single tear you cry
I just love the way you're losing your life
Oh my Baby, how beautiful you are
Oh my Darling, completely torn apart
You're gone with the sin my Baby and beautiful you are
You're gone with the sin my Darling
I adore the despair in your eyes
I worship your lips once red as wine
I crave for your scent sending shivers down my spine
I just love the way you're running out of life
Oh my Baby, how beautiful you are
Oh my Darling, completely torn apart
You're gone with the sin my Baby and beautiful you are
The Finn whispered the lyrics to Bam, and had never meant them more than he did at that moment. Even when he revealed the song to Joanna, his very last ever girlfriend. She was the one who made it so painfully obvious that he was gay. Every time they made love, kissed, even touched, it revolted him. Why did he date her? Because that’s what men are “supposed” to do. Date women. Back then Ville was so far back in the closet that he even proposed to her. So sure that this was what he was meant to do that he even got a ‘J’ tattooed on his ring finger. He was with her for five very long years. Every day reminding himself consciously that he was doing the right thing. Him, a man, was meant to be with her, a woman. But no, that’s just not the way Ville Valo is wired up. Thank God he realised it in time. Ville glanced down at that tattoo on his finger, the skin raw, where he’d been digging at it absent mindedly again, as he often did. As if his subconscious wanted to remove it completely. Hmm wonder if I could get that changed to a ‘B’.
“Oh baby, that was beautiful.” Bam sighed as Ville finished.
“Bammie, my darling Bammie, I have never meant those words until I said them to you.”
“Ville. I. I love you.” Bam managed to stammer out as his sobs began to subside.
Ville leaned in to kiss Bam, swiping the tears off his full lips with his tongue. As they kissed Bam mentally gulped before he slid his tongue into the older man’s mouth, gently grazing it against Ville’s. The Finn couldn’t help but moan into the kiss. The vibrations rocketed through Bam’s body, causing his dick to leap in his pants. He felt those cold slender fingers slip into the waistband of his baggy skate pants, and gently brush over his warm toned stomach down to his groin. Bam clenched up and gasped. Ville instantly withdrew, blushing furiously.
“Too much?” Ville asked looking at the floor from behind his hair.
Bam leaned forward to his unspoken boyfriend’s ear.
“Not enough, my love.” He whispered. His warm breath tickling Ville. Then in typical Bam style, he pounced on his lover. “The colder your touch, the more it turns me oooon.” Bam sang imitating badly Villes croon.
“Hey! They’re my lyrics!” Ville exclaimed.
“I know but what yours is mine and mine is yours!” Bam laughed jumping back out of Ville’s grasp. He let Ville catch him in his grasp. “But I have nothing to give to you but my heart and soul.” He said quietly, looking as innocent as an angel.
“My love even the tiniest fraction of your love would make me the happiest man on the planet for the rest of my life, even if it was only for a moment. You are everything to me. You. Just you, exactly the way you are.” Ville told the younger man.
Bam fell forward on to Ville, plunging his tongue into his mouth, probing every part, tongues tangling. When they eventually broke apart, only for an urgent need of breathage. Ville was straddling Bam’s stomach.
“These Mr Margera.” Gesturing to Bam’s clothes. “Need to go.” The Finn teased.
“I quite agree Mr Valo, and so do these.” Bam reached up to gently tug on the belt hoops on Ville’s black jeans. Then running his hands up Ville’s naked ribs, to his chest. Lightly tracing the outline of the heartagram around his nipple, giving it a gentle tweak. Ville remained still as he was loving Bam’s touch on him. Watching the concentration on Bam’s face made him want to laugh but didn’t in fear of breaking to moment. Oh so long he had longed for moments like this. Moments he had only ever thought possible in his frequent dreams of the man under him. Ville climbed off, tugging on Bam’s jeans. They undid each other’s pants, Ville lifted Bam’s t-shirt over his head, holding in a gasp at the body beneath, sure he’d seen Bam shirtless before, but never allowed to touch, and now he was he intended to make the most of it. Bam flipped Ville over kneeing over him, he kissed Ville lightly, then dragged his tongue down his neck and chest, all the way down to the waistband of his lover’s boxers, and just when Ville thought he’d be drifting off to cloud nine. There was a loud bang upstairs, the front door slamming shut, followed by the sound of April sobbing.
“Hold that thought honey, I’ll be right back.” Bam said with a wink, quickly pulling his jeans back on as he went out the door. This being the second time Bam had left Ville in bed; the Finn was starting to doubt whether Bam meant everything he had said.
Shut up, you stupid voice, Bam loves me, didn’t you hear him tell me, not more than five minutes ago! He’s just come out to him parents and his dad’s disowned him…Maybe that’s why he’s so keen to love me now, so that he’ll be loved in return…replacement technique replacing the love his father gave him for mine. No shut up now that is stupid. Then why’d he bolt? Shut up!! Do you not hear me shut the fuck up!! He’s only gone upstairs to check Ape, she’s just had to make the choice - lose her husband or lose a son or possibly both. Would Jess stand by his little brother to his dad? Oh My God this is so fucking complicated. I’ve fucked up Bam’s life. Argh why? Why couldn’t I have just kept it to myself...?
Ville’s thoughts were interrupted but the bang of the front door opening and sound of the rest of the crew coming home. Ville glanced at the clock. The one he’d got Bam along with a load of other stuff for his birthday last year. “2:00am” flashed on the display. From the sound of it the guys were drunk. So surprised! Not! Ville listened quietly. Everything went silent for a few minutes. Then he heard Jess roar.
“I’ll fucking kill him, how could he do this to you, I thought he loved you, he’s supposed to fucking love you.” Ville jumped out of bed and shoved his clothes back on. Terrified that a very angry Jess Margera was about to storm down here and tear his head off. Jess didn’t come. There was so much noise going on upstairs he couldn’t hear what was being said. So he bit the bullet, took a deep breath and went up. He gasped in shock. The kitchen was trashed, the front room was trashed, every picture with Bam in was smashed, the decks on the wall were all broken and the big heartagram on the wall had been pulled down. Surely Phil didn’t do this. Ville thought to himself. He saw Bam sitting on the floor next to his mom with Jess on the other side of her and Ryan holding her hands. The rest of the guys were picking up the bits of broken glass and crockery. They all nodded to Ville as he walked by. He looked down to Ape, she was bleeding, and her nose was bleeding badly through the tissue Ryan was holding there. Why was Ryan holding it? Oh yeah, of course, ever since Bam was a kid, him and Dunn had been best friends and when Dunn’s parents had kicked him out Ape and Phil had always counted him as their son. This is a family moment I should leave. Ville turned to go.
“Hey, baby where you going?” Bam called.
“This is my fault, I’ve fucked everything up. I’ll help clear up the mess I’ve made then go. I understand you probably don’t want me and blame me, it's my fault.” Ville replied.
Bam whispered something to his mom, then got up and walked to Ville.
“It is not your fault, none of this is your fault, and the way Phil has acted isn’t your fault. He would have done it no matter when I told him, I had to at some point. When this is all sorted, I want you to stay with my mom while me and Jess go to find Phil. I know exactly where he’ll be. At Vito’s.” Bam said slowly and seriously.
“Bam, what are you going to do?” Ville asked a little scared of what the reply may be.
“I’ll answer that one little bro.” Jess answered stepping in. Ville stepped back still a little frightened. He’d seen Jess brawl; he knew what he could do. Jess stepped forward again and pulled Ville into a hug. “You’re family now Willa, you’re safe. In answer to your question, Bam isn’t going to do a whole lot. I’m the oldest this is my responsibility. The man formerly known as our father, hit my mom, he knocked her about as well as trashing Bam’s house. This needs to be sorted and I’m going to sort it. Just stay with Ape yeah Ville?” Jess said the big man’s voice shaking slightly.
“Of course.” Ville whispered hoarsely.
Title: Love you like I do
Pairing: Vam: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Rating: don’t know
Disclaimer: Not mine, I can only wish. This never happened except in my sick mind haha
Dedication: To Catclaw - the perverter of minds and twister of innocence.
Chapter 5
As the Margera brothers shut the door behind them April instantly burst into tears again.
“Oh Ryan go with them, I can’t bear the thought of them getting into trouble because of me, no wait not you Ryan you’ll be just as bad, no Chris you go, you’ve been friends with Bam longest, and you Deron you can control Jess, please be careful..”
“I can control Jess; don’t know if I'm going to want to though.” Deron whispered.
“Yes Ape, we’ll look after your boys no problem, just you look after yourself right now OK?” Raab told her.
Deron and Raab just managed to clamber into the Hummer before Jess pulled away.
“What the fuck are you two doing here? This is for us to sort out guys, no offence, but this is family business.” Jess growled.
“None taken but we’ve been sent on orders of Ape, man I’m not going to be the one to make her cry anymore, we’re coming with, end of, we’ll even wait in the Hummer if you want, but it might take more the one of you to hold back Vito while, and I’m guessing here, you, Jess pound the shit out of your- Phil and dude you guys are the only family I got so deal ok.” Raab replied.
Deron simply nodded in agreement, shaking with anger, after his dad used to beat him and his mom this kind of shit made him bust blood vessels.
The four of them drove in silence along to where they figured Phil (West Chester’s most hated man) was. The only place he had to go, as it was Bam’s money they lived on. Although Phil was an asshole, he was a proud man and he wasn’t going to take money off of the reason he was leaving in the first place. So Jess drove straight over to Vito’s as Phil’s brother, he had to be there. They parked up out front and Jess had barely cut the engine before he’d jumped out and was hammering on the door.
“Open the door, you fucking fat cunt, come out here and face your son, face someone who’s big enough to take you on.” He continued to hammer to no answer.
“Dude maybe they’ve gone out.” Raab said quietly.
“No they’re fucking here, but the two fat fucks are too fucking chicken to come out and face the consequence of hitting my Mom.” Jess replied yelling so anyone within a mile radius could have heard him.
“Open this fucking door before I fucking kick it in and if you fucking call the cops you wife beating piece of shit we’ll have you up for fucking assault and battery.” Jess continue kicking and punching the door. “Open the door before I break it down you fucks.”
The door opened up, Vito blocking the frame.
“Jess he’s not here, he was but he figured you guys would look here first so he’s gone now, I don’t know where he’s gone now, maybe out of state, I don’t want any trouble.” The Margera boys’ uncle told them.
“Bollocks Vito man, we know he’s here let us in.” Bam yelled.
The others jumped, they had forgotten he was there, as the only time Bam is normally quiet is when he’s not there, and he hadn’t said anything since they had left the house.
“No can do kiddo, no one’s coming in.” Vito replied.
“Fuck this, Vito either move out the way or be moved, it’s your choice, Phil got a cab over here, which you must have paid for because the fat sponger has been living off of me and Bam for years, he hasn’t got any money. Now get the fuck out of the way or get his cowardly ass out here to face me like a man. Why the fuck are you protecting him, he hit my mom, he hit a woman, he’s, he’s…” Jess stopped lost for words to some up how low that man was.
“Scum.” Deron said quietly. “He’s scum.”
The four of them paused, before, as if by psychic ability, they all rushed the door barging Vito out of the way. Lo and behold standing uncertainly by the kitchen door as if he didn’t know what was going to happen next was Phil. Jess froze, now actually facing him; he didn’t exactly know what to do. All the way to the house he’d been so furious he wanted to tear Phil’s head off, but now standing before his father he wasn’t so sure. Yes Phil was still his father, no matter how much he despised him he was still his father and always would be, nothing could ever change that. He thought for a second and the image of his mother lying on the kitchen floor, blood pouring from several wounds on her face surrounded by the pieces of broken crockery and furniture formed in his mind’s eye. The anger returned to him, surging to through his blood with a mass hit of adrenaline he lunged forward punching Phil in the face, then another and another, his blows raining down on the overweight bastard. Phil fell to the floor blood coming from his mouth and nose. Jess leapt down on to him and just kept punching him, tears running down his face. Hitting him until he couldn’t hit anymore. Phil didn’t fight back; sure he could hit a woman but now a man. Coward.
“Jess stop. Jess STOP. You’re going to fucking kill him. STOP JESS STOP. For fucks sake.” Yelled Deron grabbing Jess’s arms and pulling him up, he pushed Jess away, into Bam. Bam went to step forward to Phil.
“Dude, it’s finished” Deron told him.
Bam simply side stepped him, he leaned forward over the bloodied mess lying on Vito’s kitchen floor and spat on it and walked away back to the Hummer. The group walked by Phil each pausing to copy Bam. Vito just stood there dumbstruck in his usual useless sack of shit way.
The four of them got into the Hummer and drove, once again in silence, back to Castle Bam. There were two police cars outside the house when they pulled up.
“Shit, you don’t think Vito called the cops do you?” Raab gibbered, terrified. “Man look at Jess’s hands he’ll go to jail.”
“I’ll drop you guys off and go stay at a motel for the night, call me when the coast is clear ok guys?” Jess answered in monotone.
The three piled out and waved Jess off before walking heads held high back to the house.
“Oh, Bam!” April exclaimed rushing to her youngest son, grabbing him into a warm embrace. The blood gone from her face, replaced by some heavy bruising.
Bam’s eyes briefly flitting to Ville who was perched on the edge of the sofa next to where Ape had previously been sitting, the Finn’s eyes filled with worry and concern. About twenty cigarette butts in the ashtray in front of him and another one in his hand.
“Mom why are the cops here?” Bam whispered into her hair.
“It’s ok sweetie, we were just telling these nice gentlemen how those men broke in, wrecked the house and beat me up when you boys were at the bar and you and your brother and Chris and Deron went looking for them, did you find them?”
“No mom they’re long gone.” Bam replied catching on.
“Well, thank-you for your statement Ma’am, you’ll be ok now your son and his friends are home.” One of the officers said stepping towards the door but looking wantonly at Bam, like he wanted to say something to him. He obviously thought against it as he led the other three cops outside, shutting the door behind them.
“Ok I better phone Jess we thought Vito had called the cops on us.” Bam said going to step toward the kitchen.
“It’s Ok, you stay with your mother, and I’ll phone Jess.” Ville said quietly, getting up moving toward the kitchen, stopping to briefly kiss Bam on the cheek. “I’m sorry.”
Ville walked out to the kitchen and punched Jess’s number into the phone.
“Hi, Jess, everything’s Ok, you can come home, a neighbour called the cops.
So it wasn’t Vito? Ok I was just driving around anyway. Is my mom Ok?
Yeah, she’s much better, she just wants you home. How’s…how’s Phil?
He’ll live but I think I busted a couple of knuckles on his flabby face though, good job I'm only a drummer eh? Jess said with a half laugh.
See you soon
See you soon, and Ville, look after my little brother, yeah?
I will.
They both hung up, and Ville walked back into the front room and started helping the others clear up the destruction, hurricane Phil had left.
“Baby, come with me.” Bam whispered in Ville’s ear, arms wrapping around his slender waist.
Ville took his boyfriend’s hand and allowed himself to be led out to the huge back garden.
“Bam I love you. I was so scared when you left, I was so scared Bam.” Ville burst into tears and buried his face into Bam’s chest. “I love you.”
“I love you too, I love you so much, nothing is ever going to change that ever ok? You never have to be scared again. I won’t let anything hurt us or you ever again, ok baby? Ok?” Bam whispered hugging his boyfriend close. He lifted Ville’s chin to look into those big green eyes that made his insides melt every time. Bam leant forward and pressed his lips softly to Ville’s. Ville straightened pushing harder, trying somehow to show how desperately he loved Bam with his kiss.
The sound of someone clearing their throat made the couple break apart; making it the third time they’d been interrupted in one night. They looked up to see Jess standing in the doorway. Holding a pack of ice between his fists.
“Bro, how long you been standing there?” Bam queried.
“Long enough to know it was worth it. Come inside you don’t have to hide out here to be together, and it’s getting cold. Everyone in here loves you both.” Bam’s big brother answered.
“Thank you Jess, we’ll be right in.” Ville spoke up, wiping his tears away.
Once he was sure Jess had gone and they weren’t being watched by anyone else Bam pulled Ville back into his arms, pressing a kiss to his forehead,
“I love you and I’m sorry, but I, I’m never going to let you go. Ever.”
“That’s good because I’m not going to let you go either.” Ville replied smiling for the first time since they had been interrupted in the bedroom what seemed like years ago when in fact it was only a few hours ago.
The pair walked back in holding hands.
“Mom you ok?” Bam asked.
“Yeah I am now, now both my boys are home and the house is as fixed as it can be tonight.” Ape replied.
“Ok if me and Ville go to bed now? we’re kind of tired.” Bam asked. Followed immediately by a series of woos, crude noises and gestures and wolf whistles made by his friends.
“Shut up guys we’re going to bed to sleep nothing else. Ok? OKAY?!” Bam exclaimed to trying to prove his point to the number of raised eyebrows and suspicious faces that were before him.
“Ok lil bro no need to get you panties in a twist, go jump on Ville in your room.” Jess laughed.
Bam made a dramatic noise of exasperation but none the less theatrically minced out of the room and down the stairs leaving Ville standing there very embarrassed.
“Err, night guys.” He said as he left the room making himself not run.