(no subject)
I'm having an extremely hard day.
Yesterday I read one email that completely tore me in half. My mom isn't speaking to me and put a huge guilt trip on my shoulders which was a completely selfish scapegoat thing to do to try and make me feel bad about myself. She posed all these questions, where exactly did we fail as parents? Did we not set a good example? Were we not straightforward enough? Was the world's idea of what is acceptable stronger than what we have tried to live and teach our children? Somewhere along the line my kids chose to ignore what we tried so to teach them... respect and honor and a fear of God, a responsibility to choose what is right and wrong…
I am making the right decisions for me, even if she thinks I could have made better ones. They are my own personal decisions that I have made for my own personal reasons. I love my mom, but she is so stubborn in her own way that she fails to see anything that she doesn’t agree with and calls it “wrong.”
But I am not going to let her bring me down. I practically wrote her a book back explaining myself to her, explaining what she has taught me and why I love her and respect her, but also why she has to love and respect and trust me, all of which I hope she grasp...but it still hurts.
Because life is brief
and many are the pains
which, living and struggling, everyone sustains,
let us follow our desires,
passing and consuming the years,
because whoever deprives himself of pleasure,
to live with anguish and with worries,
doesn't know the tricks
of the world, or by what ills
and by what strange happenings
all morals are almost overwhelmed.
Niccolo Machiavelli, 15th century Italian philosopher
Yesterday I read one email that completely tore me in half. My mom isn't speaking to me and put a huge guilt trip on my shoulders which was a completely selfish scapegoat thing to do to try and make me feel bad about myself. She posed all these questions, where exactly did we fail as parents? Did we not set a good example? Were we not straightforward enough? Was the world's idea of what is acceptable stronger than what we have tried to live and teach our children? Somewhere along the line my kids chose to ignore what we tried so to teach them... respect and honor and a fear of God, a responsibility to choose what is right and wrong…
I am making the right decisions for me, even if she thinks I could have made better ones. They are my own personal decisions that I have made for my own personal reasons. I love my mom, but she is so stubborn in her own way that she fails to see anything that she doesn’t agree with and calls it “wrong.”
But I am not going to let her bring me down. I practically wrote her a book back explaining myself to her, explaining what she has taught me and why I love her and respect her, but also why she has to love and respect and trust me, all of which I hope she grasp...but it still hurts.
Because life is brief
and many are the pains
which, living and struggling, everyone sustains,
let us follow our desires,
passing and consuming the years,
because whoever deprives himself of pleasure,
to live with anguish and with worries,
doesn't know the tricks
of the world, or by what ills
and by what strange happenings
all morals are almost overwhelmed.
Niccolo Machiavelli, 15th century Italian philosopher