drum the beat of a heart i can't defeat
It has been a while since I've been here. There's been a huge dam in my creativity and thoughts and it's been difficult to put it out into the open. I was on the bus yesterday and I realized that I didn't want to lose my means of expressing myself through writing. I'm not the most eloquent or intelligent writer but I believe in expressing ideas, opinions, and thoughts in a clear (and seemingly not-so-clear) way by writing them down.
I actually discovered my lack of writing when I observed another inhibition of mine. Yesterday I found that it was hard for me to sing in a smaller group of people. I always feel like I have something to prove to the world about my expressions whether it be writing or singing. I now think that it's important not to lose these two forms of art which I hold dear. It is also equally as important not to lose the reason for these two expressions in my life.
I write because I want to be known or I want to make something, say an idea or a lesson that I've learned, as permanent as can be. So I write not to show off my own cleverness but to express myself in a clear way that I can look back on later and still understand. I can look back on something and appreciate my life at different stages. It is not only what I write but the style in which I write it which tells an even greater story (and I appreciate the stories a lot).
I sing because it also tells a story. Singing allows me to put my heart out into the open. I like to hear my own voice contributing to something much greater and more beautiful than I could sing by myself. It allows me to agree with others in worship and express my heart to God.
My words are more calculated and less of my heart is blatantly exposed - it will take a little digging behind the words. More cautious are these words due to lack of practice in writing and events which must be danced around every so often - it keeps life interesting ;).
I actually discovered my lack of writing when I observed another inhibition of mine. Yesterday I found that it was hard for me to sing in a smaller group of people. I always feel like I have something to prove to the world about my expressions whether it be writing or singing. I now think that it's important not to lose these two forms of art which I hold dear. It is also equally as important not to lose the reason for these two expressions in my life.
I write because I want to be known or I want to make something, say an idea or a lesson that I've learned, as permanent as can be. So I write not to show off my own cleverness but to express myself in a clear way that I can look back on later and still understand. I can look back on something and appreciate my life at different stages. It is not only what I write but the style in which I write it which tells an even greater story (and I appreciate the stories a lot).
I sing because it also tells a story. Singing allows me to put my heart out into the open. I like to hear my own voice contributing to something much greater and more beautiful than I could sing by myself. It allows me to agree with others in worship and express my heart to God.
My words are more calculated and less of my heart is blatantly exposed - it will take a little digging behind the words. More cautious are these words due to lack of practice in writing and events which must be danced around every so often - it keeps life interesting ;).