this.
"...and if we are lucky, we are allowed glimpses of this sort of love. like the girl we met in high school we loved without walls because we were innocent to their purpose. the nights we spent staring into the eyes of someone so hard we could see a future. the days we sat next to them in dark theaters holding hands and feigning interest in a movie that we would never learn the plot to because our brains and hearts couldnt slow down long enough to focus on two things at once. the back of the neck kisses on sleeping lovers. the slight touch on a first date. the moment they laugh at your joke. the way a phone call can close your eyes, demand a smile and cause your chin to rise. the first loves. the intense loves. the idealistic loves. honeymoon periods. we felt it. i felt it and believed it was real. we see the smoke and believe it is a fire. we rush into houses with open hearts under false alarms and we leave feeling cheated. betrayed. lied to. but i dont blame the women. i blame the authors and writers, the directors and poets for allowing us to believe that love has the capacity to conquer all.
what their sonnets and films and novels neglect is the human capacity for infidelity, violence, sexual-incompatibility and all types of mental and behavioral disorders. there is no sixteen candles part 2, where five years down the line jake ryan beats samanthas ass because she came home late from the bar or when samanthas repressed memories of sexual abuse come back to haunt her one night in a nightmare and now she cant give a blow job because she just cant shake the memory of the night her uncle snuck in her room when she was eight years old.
no matter how hard you try, no matter how you push the words through gritted teeth, no matter the capacity of empathy, you can not, nor will you ever love someone hard enough and deeply enough to fix their damage."
what their sonnets and films and novels neglect is the human capacity for infidelity, violence, sexual-incompatibility and all types of mental and behavioral disorders. there is no sixteen candles part 2, where five years down the line jake ryan beats samanthas ass because she came home late from the bar or when samanthas repressed memories of sexual abuse come back to haunt her one night in a nightmare and now she cant give a blow job because she just cant shake the memory of the night her uncle snuck in her room when she was eight years old.
no matter how hard you try, no matter how you push the words through gritted teeth, no matter the capacity of empathy, you can not, nor will you ever love someone hard enough and deeply enough to fix their damage."