Free Beer
Title: Free Beer
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Rating: PG
Summary: The North American Twins, being bros!
Timeframe: 2010
Word Count: 1977, including footnotes
Notes/Warnings: Bad accent, Nations with booze, an author writing about a video game she has never played, and for once NO OCS IN A MAJOR ROLE. /gasp shock horror!
Just like with his aunt Ireland, no one knocked on Canada’s door. Unlike his aunt though… that was because people tended to not visit at all. Except Prussia. But he didn’t knock either… sometimes he didn’t even use the door.
So when he heard the sounds of someone kicking in his front door, he just sighed, closed his copy of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and started towards the kitchen to start work on pancakes.
“You don’t mind blueberries, eh?” he asked, digging around his fridge for the buttermilk. “I’m all out of chocolate chips.”
“I was actually thinking more along the lines of pizza and beer, but pancakes sound awesome!”
That was the exact moment Canada bashed his head on the handle of the freezer. Swearing profusely in a strange mixture of English, French, and Canadian Gaelic and rubbing his head, he turned around.
And promptly dropped the milk on the floor at the sight of his older twin holding a couple of pizza boxes and a six pack of beer. An older twin who actually looked concerned as he set down those pizza boxes and beer before walking over to examine his injury. “Hey Mattie, I didn’t come over so you could bust your head open, man!”
Matthew blinked at Alfred, confusion clear in the blue-purple eyes behind glasses. “…You remember me?”
“’Course I do! You’re my little brother!” America grinned and ruffled Matthew’s hair. “Hey, don’t stare at me like that! Or glare at me, whichever it is!”
“Why are you here, Alfred? I’m not getting involved with the war with Iraq, for the last time.” Because usually when America remembered his brother existed, it was to ask for something.
“What, I need an excuse to visit my own twin?” He picked up the milk and put it back in the fridge, and somewhere in the back of his mind Canada was glad the top hadn’t popped off and spilled it all. Alfred raised his head and looked over at the northern one again. “…Hey man, since when did you inherit Auntie’s glare?”
“Ha ha. Did Auntie tell you to come pay attention to me?” Canada brushed aside his brother, pulling one of the cans out of the plastic rings and cracking it open. Hey, free beer, he wasn’t going to say no to that.
“No, for once she didn’t. I came over because I wanted to! Grab some pizza before it gets cold!” He ruffled the other’s hair again before heading off in the direction of the living room. “You still got that XBOX 360 I sent you for Christmas last year?”
“…Yeah, why?”
Alfred popped his head back inside the kitchen, holding up a large CD case that Canada didn’t really want to think about where it had come from. “Up for a video game tourney? I bet South Korea that you and I could kick his and Japan’s asses at Call of Duty 4!”
Canada just sighed, scooping up the pizza boxes in one hand and the remainder of the beer in the other. Well, if America was going to act like a brother for once, he couldn’t really object to it. It was like free beer, really.
-----
Alfred let out another victory whoop as an explosion erupted across Canada’s TV screen. “Man, I’m glad you’re on my side! I keep forgetting how good you are at this stuff.”
“How many respawns do they have?”
“One for Korea, two for Japan.”
Another explosion boomed from the speakers. “Kiku only has one now.”
“Dude, you are officially awesome! No wonder Prussia hangs out here so much, he rubbed off on you!”
Matthew blushed at that, but still managed to snipe one of Korea’s soldiers. “I’m not that awesome… and he likes my pancakes.”
“Pft, yeah, and our aunt.” There was another whoop as he picked off Korea’s avatar. “No man, after… what is it the Europeans call it… Great War! That one! After that you cemented your place in the Awesome as Hell category! Shit, your two o clock!”
Canada swirled his man around, taking out what was Japan’s avatar. “Ballsy,” he commented, taking the chance to take another swig of his beer, already on his second can. “Came right after me.”
“C’mon, he’s not supposed to figure out my tactics just because we’re allies!”
“‘Running in without a withdraw plan or a plan of any sort’ is not exactly a tactic, Al.”
“No, that’s why it’s called ‘making things up as I go’ and you gotta admit Mattie, I’m damned good at that.”
At the next explosion both twins stared at the screen before turning to look at each other in shock.
“Did you set that one, Mattie?”
“I thought it was you, eh.”
Alfred’s phone buzzed, and he picked it up to read the text. Whatever it was was enough to send him into half-hysterical, half-drunk laughter. “Korea did it!” he said between fits. “Took them both out on accident! Japan’s wanting to know if we can go two out of three!”
Canada grinned despite himself, those old wartime habits rearing their heads once again. That, and his brother’s enthusiasm was contagious. He took another pull from his half empty can and passed America a slice of pizza. “Once more into the breach!”
“…Mattie, let me do the war cries from now on, okay?”
-----
“So what does South Korea have to pay you again, eh?”
“Eh, we’ll discuss it next world meeting. Probably video games or something.”
“Think we should just do that from now on?” Canada mused, playing with the tab on his fourth beer -- America had gone on an emergency beer run during the break between the second and third rounds -- while Alfred flopped back against the couch. “Throw everyone into some massive multiplayer war game or something and say ‘Whoever wins this wins in the real world’?”
“Nah, then Estonia or someone like that would win or South Korea would hack the code. It’d turn into nerds vs. nerds and be all boring.”
“…How do you remember Estonia?”
“…We play Warcraft sometimes.”
“So all I have to do is play video games with you and you’ll remember me. How nice.”
“Only when I’m drunk, bro. I’ll completely forget about Estonia once the hangover sets in.” He took a pull from his fifth can, stared down into the blackness of the opened bit. “Hey, Mattie?”
“Oui, Al?”
“I’m a shit brother.”
Matthew blinked and looked down at his brother, who had gone very serious of a sudden. He sighed and slid off the couch to sit next to him. “Non, not that bad.”
“Yeah, yeah I am. I’m the oldest and I keep forgetting about you, Terra, Kiwi--”
“Kiwi hates you,” he stated mildly, peering at Alfred.
“--the rest of you guys in the Commonwealth, hell, most of the world.” He flicked at his tab before taking another drink. “I don’t even know if Mexico is our sister or not.” Canada remained silent there, even he wasn’t sure of the relationship to the southern North American Nation, or even most of the Latin American Nations. Portugal made things confusing, no matter how much he loved his… what was he to the lot of them again? Mum? “Remember the last time we saw Auntie?”
“…When she threatened to knife you if you forgot me one more time, family or nay?” he asked slowly. He loved his auntie, really they all did, and dearly at that, but if she wasn’t just the slightest bit overprotective of him. Still, it was always nice to know that he was always second in her heart only to their uncle Connor.
“Yeah, that one,” he muttered sullenly. “I got to thinking about it, you know, and… and she’s right. I’m probably the worst brother of the Western Hemisphere. If it wasn’t for Russia I’d probably be the worst one of the Northern too.”
“Non, you’re not that bad,” Canada said again. “I mean… look at Uncle Connor and Auntie. I don’t think any of your people have tried to bomb me yet, eh?”
“…Uncle Connor used to be really mean to you, didn’t he?”
“Oui, when he actually decided I existed. He liked ignoring me.”
“I don’t mean to forget you, I really don’t.” America threw an arm around Canada’s shoulders, curling against him. “I just… don’t remember.”
Canada had incredibly vague memories of the two of them like this when they were little, long before Arthur or Francis. He doubted America consciously remembered, and he curled up as well. “I take after Uncle Llewellyn, I guess,” he murmured. “He’s not really remembered very often either.”
“I love you Mattie. You’re my little brother.” Alfred’s words were starting to slur in a way that had very little to do with drunkenness and Matthew smiled softly at it.
“You’re falling asleep, Al. C’mon, give me the beer.” It wasn’t much of a fight, though Alfred murmured something about his Twenty First Amendment before he finally gave up the can. He placed it somewhere where he could be sure it wouldn’t be overturned before reaching back up on the couch and pulling down the forest patterned throw -- he’d hand made it himself out of yarn Ireland had sent him years before -- and pulling it around himself and his brother.
“Hey, Mattie?”
“Oui, Al?” he asked as he took Alfred’s glasses off before his own, placing his brother’s on top of the video game book.
“You love me too, right?”
He smiled fondly at his twin before curling up against him again. “Oui, Al, I love you too. You’re my big brother.”
Alfred made a satisfied sound before snuggling into Canada’s side. “Good. S’pposed t’love your family, Auntie says so.” And with that statement, he fell asleep.
Canada sat up just a little bit longer, watching his brother sleep. He knew to enjoy this while it lasted, it wouldn’t come around very often.
It was like free beer, really.
Footnotes:
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is currently at the top of the NY Times Best Seller list, which my Canadian sources tell me is a pretty good estimation of Canadian popularity as well.
Canada and Iraq: Canada said they wouldn't get involved if they didn't have UN backing. They didn't get it. They didn't get involved.
I have never actually played Call of Duty 4 (I don't like shooters), so I'm sure I've messed up. I apologize.
Kiwi: That would be New Zealand, and NZ... isn't really a fan of us? See the Australian New Zealand United States Security Treaty.
Re: Mexico and the rest of Latin America: Hey, would you want to sit down and figure out the family tree here once you bring in the in-laws of Portugal, Spain, and France?
Canada and Northern Ireland: No historical basis for this, but headcanon between Tophie and I state that Connor was incredibly jealous of the amount of attention Ireland gave her nephew (And various others) and took it out on him at first, either ignoring him/"forgetting" about him or actively trying to hit him, depending on his mood. Connor's very close in age to his nephews, so it's a much different situation than it is with Llewellyn or Douglas. Later Connor took it out on Ireland herself... which would be Northern Ireland taking up with the rest of the UK and leaving her.
Wales is kinda the Canada of the UK.
Headcanon also states that the more booze Canada gets into him, the more his French (THE LANGUAGE ONLY) side comes out. Thankfully he got France's alcohol tolerance.
Twenty-First Amendment: This would be the one that repealed Prohibition.
IF IT WASN'T ALREADY INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS FROM MY OTHER FICS family is incredibly important to the Irish, possibly the most important thing. You love them, little to no questions asked.
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Rating: PG
Summary: The North American Twins, being bros!
Timeframe: 2010
Word Count: 1977, including footnotes
Notes/Warnings: Bad accent, Nations with booze, an author writing about a video game she has never played, and for once NO OCS IN A MAJOR ROLE. /gasp shock horror!
Just like with his aunt Ireland, no one knocked on Canada’s door. Unlike his aunt though… that was because people tended to not visit at all. Except Prussia. But he didn’t knock either… sometimes he didn’t even use the door.
So when he heard the sounds of someone kicking in his front door, he just sighed, closed his copy of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and started towards the kitchen to start work on pancakes.
“You don’t mind blueberries, eh?” he asked, digging around his fridge for the buttermilk. “I’m all out of chocolate chips.”
“I was actually thinking more along the lines of pizza and beer, but pancakes sound awesome!”
That was the exact moment Canada bashed his head on the handle of the freezer. Swearing profusely in a strange mixture of English, French, and Canadian Gaelic and rubbing his head, he turned around.
And promptly dropped the milk on the floor at the sight of his older twin holding a couple of pizza boxes and a six pack of beer. An older twin who actually looked concerned as he set down those pizza boxes and beer before walking over to examine his injury. “Hey Mattie, I didn’t come over so you could bust your head open, man!”
Matthew blinked at Alfred, confusion clear in the blue-purple eyes behind glasses. “…You remember me?”
“’Course I do! You’re my little brother!” America grinned and ruffled Matthew’s hair. “Hey, don’t stare at me like that! Or glare at me, whichever it is!”
“Why are you here, Alfred? I’m not getting involved with the war with Iraq, for the last time.” Because usually when America remembered his brother existed, it was to ask for something.
“What, I need an excuse to visit my own twin?” He picked up the milk and put it back in the fridge, and somewhere in the back of his mind Canada was glad the top hadn’t popped off and spilled it all. Alfred raised his head and looked over at the northern one again. “…Hey man, since when did you inherit Auntie’s glare?”
“Ha ha. Did Auntie tell you to come pay attention to me?” Canada brushed aside his brother, pulling one of the cans out of the plastic rings and cracking it open. Hey, free beer, he wasn’t going to say no to that.
“No, for once she didn’t. I came over because I wanted to! Grab some pizza before it gets cold!” He ruffled the other’s hair again before heading off in the direction of the living room. “You still got that XBOX 360 I sent you for Christmas last year?”
“…Yeah, why?”
Alfred popped his head back inside the kitchen, holding up a large CD case that Canada didn’t really want to think about where it had come from. “Up for a video game tourney? I bet South Korea that you and I could kick his and Japan’s asses at Call of Duty 4!”
Canada just sighed, scooping up the pizza boxes in one hand and the remainder of the beer in the other. Well, if America was going to act like a brother for once, he couldn’t really object to it. It was like free beer, really.
-----
Alfred let out another victory whoop as an explosion erupted across Canada’s TV screen. “Man, I’m glad you’re on my side! I keep forgetting how good you are at this stuff.”
“How many respawns do they have?”
“One for Korea, two for Japan.”
Another explosion boomed from the speakers. “Kiku only has one now.”
“Dude, you are officially awesome! No wonder Prussia hangs out here so much, he rubbed off on you!”
Matthew blushed at that, but still managed to snipe one of Korea’s soldiers. “I’m not that awesome… and he likes my pancakes.”
“Pft, yeah, and our aunt.” There was another whoop as he picked off Korea’s avatar. “No man, after… what is it the Europeans call it… Great War! That one! After that you cemented your place in the Awesome as Hell category! Shit, your two o clock!”
Canada swirled his man around, taking out what was Japan’s avatar. “Ballsy,” he commented, taking the chance to take another swig of his beer, already on his second can. “Came right after me.”
“C’mon, he’s not supposed to figure out my tactics just because we’re allies!”
“‘Running in without a withdraw plan or a plan of any sort’ is not exactly a tactic, Al.”
“No, that’s why it’s called ‘making things up as I go’ and you gotta admit Mattie, I’m damned good at that.”
At the next explosion both twins stared at the screen before turning to look at each other in shock.
“Did you set that one, Mattie?”
“I thought it was you, eh.”
Alfred’s phone buzzed, and he picked it up to read the text. Whatever it was was enough to send him into half-hysterical, half-drunk laughter. “Korea did it!” he said between fits. “Took them both out on accident! Japan’s wanting to know if we can go two out of three!”
Canada grinned despite himself, those old wartime habits rearing their heads once again. That, and his brother’s enthusiasm was contagious. He took another pull from his half empty can and passed America a slice of pizza. “Once more into the breach!”
“…Mattie, let me do the war cries from now on, okay?”
-----
“So what does South Korea have to pay you again, eh?”
“Eh, we’ll discuss it next world meeting. Probably video games or something.”
“Think we should just do that from now on?” Canada mused, playing with the tab on his fourth beer -- America had gone on an emergency beer run during the break between the second and third rounds -- while Alfred flopped back against the couch. “Throw everyone into some massive multiplayer war game or something and say ‘Whoever wins this wins in the real world’?”
“Nah, then Estonia or someone like that would win or South Korea would hack the code. It’d turn into nerds vs. nerds and be all boring.”
“…How do you remember Estonia?”
“…We play Warcraft sometimes.”
“So all I have to do is play video games with you and you’ll remember me. How nice.”
“Only when I’m drunk, bro. I’ll completely forget about Estonia once the hangover sets in.” He took a pull from his fifth can, stared down into the blackness of the opened bit. “Hey, Mattie?”
“Oui, Al?”
“I’m a shit brother.”
Matthew blinked and looked down at his brother, who had gone very serious of a sudden. He sighed and slid off the couch to sit next to him. “Non, not that bad.”
“Yeah, yeah I am. I’m the oldest and I keep forgetting about you, Terra, Kiwi--”
“Kiwi hates you,” he stated mildly, peering at Alfred.
“--the rest of you guys in the Commonwealth, hell, most of the world.” He flicked at his tab before taking another drink. “I don’t even know if Mexico is our sister or not.” Canada remained silent there, even he wasn’t sure of the relationship to the southern North American Nation, or even most of the Latin American Nations. Portugal made things confusing, no matter how much he loved his… what was he to the lot of them again? Mum? “Remember the last time we saw Auntie?”
“…When she threatened to knife you if you forgot me one more time, family or nay?” he asked slowly. He loved his auntie, really they all did, and dearly at that, but if she wasn’t just the slightest bit overprotective of him. Still, it was always nice to know that he was always second in her heart only to their uncle Connor.
“Yeah, that one,” he muttered sullenly. “I got to thinking about it, you know, and… and she’s right. I’m probably the worst brother of the Western Hemisphere. If it wasn’t for Russia I’d probably be the worst one of the Northern too.”
“Non, you’re not that bad,” Canada said again. “I mean… look at Uncle Connor and Auntie. I don’t think any of your people have tried to bomb me yet, eh?”
“…Uncle Connor used to be really mean to you, didn’t he?”
“Oui, when he actually decided I existed. He liked ignoring me.”
“I don’t mean to forget you, I really don’t.” America threw an arm around Canada’s shoulders, curling against him. “I just… don’t remember.”
Canada had incredibly vague memories of the two of them like this when they were little, long before Arthur or Francis. He doubted America consciously remembered, and he curled up as well. “I take after Uncle Llewellyn, I guess,” he murmured. “He’s not really remembered very often either.”
“I love you Mattie. You’re my little brother.” Alfred’s words were starting to slur in a way that had very little to do with drunkenness and Matthew smiled softly at it.
“You’re falling asleep, Al. C’mon, give me the beer.” It wasn’t much of a fight, though Alfred murmured something about his Twenty First Amendment before he finally gave up the can. He placed it somewhere where he could be sure it wouldn’t be overturned before reaching back up on the couch and pulling down the forest patterned throw -- he’d hand made it himself out of yarn Ireland had sent him years before -- and pulling it around himself and his brother.
“Hey, Mattie?”
“Oui, Al?” he asked as he took Alfred’s glasses off before his own, placing his brother’s on top of the video game book.
“You love me too, right?”
He smiled fondly at his twin before curling up against him again. “Oui, Al, I love you too. You’re my big brother.”
Alfred made a satisfied sound before snuggling into Canada’s side. “Good. S’pposed t’love your family, Auntie says so.” And with that statement, he fell asleep.
Canada sat up just a little bit longer, watching his brother sleep. He knew to enjoy this while it lasted, it wouldn’t come around very often.
It was like free beer, really.
Footnotes:
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is currently at the top of the NY Times Best Seller list, which my Canadian sources tell me is a pretty good estimation of Canadian popularity as well.
Canada and Iraq: Canada said they wouldn't get involved if they didn't have UN backing. They didn't get it. They didn't get involved.
I have never actually played Call of Duty 4 (I don't like shooters), so I'm sure I've messed up. I apologize.
Kiwi: That would be New Zealand, and NZ... isn't really a fan of us? See the Australian New Zealand United States Security Treaty.
Re: Mexico and the rest of Latin America: Hey, would you want to sit down and figure out the family tree here once you bring in the in-laws of Portugal, Spain, and France?
Canada and Northern Ireland: No historical basis for this, but headcanon between Tophie and I state that Connor was incredibly jealous of the amount of attention Ireland gave her nephew (And various others) and took it out on him at first, either ignoring him/"forgetting" about him or actively trying to hit him, depending on his mood. Connor's very close in age to his nephews, so it's a much different situation than it is with Llewellyn or Douglas. Later Connor took it out on Ireland herself... which would be Northern Ireland taking up with the rest of the UK and leaving her.
Wales is kinda the Canada of the UK.
Headcanon also states that the more booze Canada gets into him, the more his French (THE LANGUAGE ONLY) side comes out. Thankfully he got France's alcohol tolerance.
Twenty-First Amendment: This would be the one that repealed Prohibition.
IF IT WASN'T ALREADY INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS FROM MY OTHER FICS family is incredibly important to the Irish, possibly the most important thing. You love them, little to no questions asked.