(no subject)
hmmmmm im not sure what to think about today ...
my plan was to fast, but i broke it, so i have no willpower, i cant even fast for a day humph ...
but i only ate 99 cals worth of food ... so my day could have been a lot worse.
i am going to try and stay below 400 cals tomorrow. my boyf is coming around in the evening but i am going job hunting in the day, i need a job that will let me concentrate on uni work. so i will be walking all day and wont eat, so itll be easy to keep dinner below 400 cals.
non-ED related ramblings ...
im starting uni again in a few weeks and i really wanna do well, its getting me so down. i f**ked up last year so badly, i got a job to help with funds and gradually ended up working 50 hours a week until 5 in the morning, which resulted in sleeping through to many lectures and failing. its soooooo not like me to fail at academic stuff and i regret it so much, in school i was always that fat one, i never had many friends, people made up rumours about me but the one thing that i got right, the only thing i could do was get good grades, and now ive failed at that as well ... so i guess what i should learn is i am cr*p at everything and am a huge failure. i only wanted to be able to have good nights out and buy myself some clothes etc but it went to far, and when work would push more hours on me i wouldnt say no. and as a result i have messed up my education and lost the friends that i did have ...
sorry for the length of this, tomorrow i will learn how to do an LJ cut.
from ... a failure xxx
my plan was to fast, but i broke it, so i have no willpower, i cant even fast for a day humph ...
but i only ate 99 cals worth of food ... so my day could have been a lot worse.
i am going to try and stay below 400 cals tomorrow. my boyf is coming around in the evening but i am going job hunting in the day, i need a job that will let me concentrate on uni work. so i will be walking all day and wont eat, so itll be easy to keep dinner below 400 cals.
non-ED related ramblings ...
im starting uni again in a few weeks and i really wanna do well, its getting me so down. i f**ked up last year so badly, i got a job to help with funds and gradually ended up working 50 hours a week until 5 in the morning, which resulted in sleeping through to many lectures and failing. its soooooo not like me to fail at academic stuff and i regret it so much, in school i was always that fat one, i never had many friends, people made up rumours about me but the one thing that i got right, the only thing i could do was get good grades, and now ive failed at that as well ... so i guess what i should learn is i am cr*p at everything and am a huge failure. i only wanted to be able to have good nights out and buy myself some clothes etc but it went to far, and when work would push more hours on me i wouldnt say no. and as a result i have messed up my education and lost the friends that i did have ...
sorry for the length of this, tomorrow i will learn how to do an LJ cut.
from ... a failure xxx