i hate me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hate myself so fucking much. i get mad at mel for no fucking reason and i hate it. i'm such a bitch. i dont deserve anyone. idont want to drive mel away. i love him so much. but i just dont know what to do. like i know maybe we would need some time apart perhaps but i just dont want to stop talking to him cuz i want to know that he is ok. i dont like that i love someone so much and i want to make them happy and be there one and yet they dont feel the same way as me. i'm so depressed. well i'm done. i'll try to move on but i doubt it. maybe i should of just went back to lucky when he wanted me at least i would have been loved. well i'm out. bye!