(no subject)
A long december
And there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
Can't remember
All the times I've tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass....
So 2004 is done. It is now officially 2005. And I think I might think back on this past year now.
I have made some great new friends. And become much closer with most of my existing friends.
I have severed ties with some toxic friends
I have had probably the closest to being in love that I've ever felt in my life, and come out of it alive.
I have formed a bond with someone that I could consider my best friend now. I have become so close with my best friend of 9 years that we transend friendship.
I was in a great play.
I discovered two of my favorite television shows.
I have become much more independent and outspoken.
I turned 20.
I got drunk for the first time.
I got high for the first time.
I discovered a deep love for new york city.
I felt grown up and mature.
I finally decided to leave the only job I've ever had.
I bought a laptop and a dvd player for my room.
I got a cell phone.
I got to direct the most amazing group of children ever.
I discovered the amazingness of old navy.
So it was a pretty fucking amazing year. I dont know how 2005 is going to top it.
But I have high hopes. Some things to look forward to in the new year:
Using my new laptop
Finishing off the last school year with the club kids.
Working at fantasyworks
Starting work on my new major
Going to europe during the summer
Getting my f-ing license finally
Hopefully finding a better for me boyfriend
Credit carrrrrrrd?
And other stuff.
Life gets better as you get older.
And I wanna talk a little bit about tonight quickly.
When my mother married my stepfather, who has since become my father, as much as I love him, it was understood that he didn't like to talk much, especially about things that he had mixed feelings about. So as a result I don't know too much about him. Or his life, or anything. And that's been something that has bugged me for a really long time.
Tonight Michelle asked me to come to her house for a new years eve party, and I met her grandfather, who was really nice and easy to talk to, and who knew my grandfather. My grandfather died before I was born. My grandmother got rid of every picture of him, and my father refuses to talk about him at all. So he told me stories for like two hours about my grandfather. And wow. I didn't think I would feel that emotional about it, but I did. I guess I felt kind of.... cheated? maybe? that this total stranger knew more about my grandfather and my father than I did? I dunno. I spent some time by myself after he left. I was a little emotional. My family really is deeply fucked up and it isn't something I like to talk about, because I dont think it's really anyone's business sometimes, but I dunno. A lot of emotions right now. Lots.
Gnite.
Jen
And there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
Can't remember
All the times I've tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass....
So 2004 is done. It is now officially 2005. And I think I might think back on this past year now.
I have made some great new friends. And become much closer with most of my existing friends.
I have severed ties with some toxic friends
I have had probably the closest to being in love that I've ever felt in my life, and come out of it alive.
I have formed a bond with someone that I could consider my best friend now. I have become so close with my best friend of 9 years that we transend friendship.
I was in a great play.
I discovered two of my favorite television shows.
I have become much more independent and outspoken.
I turned 20.
I got drunk for the first time.
I got high for the first time.
I discovered a deep love for new york city.
I felt grown up and mature.
I finally decided to leave the only job I've ever had.
I bought a laptop and a dvd player for my room.
I got a cell phone.
I got to direct the most amazing group of children ever.
I discovered the amazingness of old navy.
So it was a pretty fucking amazing year. I dont know how 2005 is going to top it.
But I have high hopes. Some things to look forward to in the new year:
Using my new laptop
Finishing off the last school year with the club kids.
Working at fantasyworks
Starting work on my new major
Going to europe during the summer
Getting my f-ing license finally
Hopefully finding a better for me boyfriend
Credit carrrrrrrd?
And other stuff.
Life gets better as you get older.
And I wanna talk a little bit about tonight quickly.
When my mother married my stepfather, who has since become my father, as much as I love him, it was understood that he didn't like to talk much, especially about things that he had mixed feelings about. So as a result I don't know too much about him. Or his life, or anything. And that's been something that has bugged me for a really long time.
Tonight Michelle asked me to come to her house for a new years eve party, and I met her grandfather, who was really nice and easy to talk to, and who knew my grandfather. My grandfather died before I was born. My grandmother got rid of every picture of him, and my father refuses to talk about him at all. So he told me stories for like two hours about my grandfather. And wow. I didn't think I would feel that emotional about it, but I did. I guess I felt kind of.... cheated? maybe? that this total stranger knew more about my grandfather and my father than I did? I dunno. I spent some time by myself after he left. I was a little emotional. My family really is deeply fucked up and it isn't something I like to talk about, because I dont think it's really anyone's business sometimes, but I dunno. A lot of emotions right now. Lots.
Gnite.
Jen