(no subject)
every single dream i've had for the past few weeks,
ends with me getting accepted to portland state
and not being able to do anything but cry.
not a happy cry, not a sad cry.
just the most intense tears you could ever shed.
i didn't realize it till elaine said that that it was a life changing decision
but i really am standing at a crossroads
one life in one direction
and a completely different life in the other.
i'm not ready.
i'm not ready.
i'm not ready.
i don't have the money. i don't have the strength.
some force greater than myself is holding me back from moving at this point in my life.
i don't know if it's fear, or fate.
but the only way i can fall asleep at night is if i tell myself i'll wait till i graduate and go to medical school in portland.
i just don't know anymore.
and how much i like marty isn't helping my decision either.
guhhhhhhhhhh
ends with me getting accepted to portland state
and not being able to do anything but cry.
not a happy cry, not a sad cry.
just the most intense tears you could ever shed.
i didn't realize it till elaine said that that it was a life changing decision
but i really am standing at a crossroads
one life in one direction
and a completely different life in the other.
i'm not ready.
i'm not ready.
i'm not ready.
i don't have the money. i don't have the strength.
some force greater than myself is holding me back from moving at this point in my life.
i don't know if it's fear, or fate.
but the only way i can fall asleep at night is if i tell myself i'll wait till i graduate and go to medical school in portland.
i just don't know anymore.
and how much i like marty isn't helping my decision either.
guhhhhhhhhhh