(no subject)
I am so stressed out.
-i'm still not sure how I fit into S.A.R.A's. I get along pretty well with a few of the girls there. The cats are adorable. But it's so fucking stressful. I still ask alot of questions because that is my nature. If i'm not sure, i would rather ask 20 times than do it and get yelled at. (I blame my mother for this trait of mine.) And i still fuck up. But I've only been a supervisor there for a little over a month, working only 3 days a week. Shouldn't they be a little forgiving of that?
So there's been all this drama going on at Sara's lately. This is mostly why i'm stressed. They recently restructured the management and one of the girls, Jackie, who has been there for over a year was not promoted. She was super pissed about this and has been whiny about it ever since. They've had issues with her lately not doing work and then bitching about stuff. Yesterday it all came to a head, when Mel, the boss, noticed that $50 was missing from the safe. After asking everyone (who all of course denied stealing it) and having a fight with Jackie who was super rude about the issue, Mel called everyone about a supervisors meeting for today at noon. It didn't really concern me (they know I didn't take it) so I didn't need to go. But last night, Jackie calls me and asks me if Mel and Nicole (the assistant manager) had gotten any more pleasant by the end of the day. And then when I told her about the meeting, she feigned ignorance and said she couldn't go. She was the one person they wanted there. Then today, another supervisor ran into Jackie at the library at the same time that the meeting was supposed to be happening. So of course, Mel and Nicole were furious. Tonight, i get a text from Jackie saying that she quit and that I should watch my back because Nicole wants to make me quit next.
In my insecure, stressed out, tired state, I sorta freak out at this news. Jackie has a history of lying, so she may just be spreading rumors. But what if it's true? They are not good at actually talking to people about issues. I'm half tempted to sit down with Mel and Nicole and ask them what they think so far about me and my performance. It would be so strange to have someone say they are unsatisfied with me as an employee. Usually, employers are super bummed to see me go.
And that paragraph? That long, complicated paragraph? I am not in middle school, why do i have to deal with middle school bullshit? Fucking drama. I cannot handle it. It's bad enough at foxy dog where we gossip and badmouth the other girls. Did I just happen to choose the two most gossipy/ drama-filled places to work? Or are all places this bad?!
I keep having dreams about Sara's. I stress about it on days when I don't even work there. Is it too much? How much longer can I deal with this?
-What's funny is how the girls at Foxy Dog looks like saints compared. But I am, of course, having issues there as well. I asked Jess about doing more haircut stuff, to which she replied in a condescending tone of voice, "We need to talk about that." My first thought was that she does not want to teach me and essentially this will become a dead end job, not getting me any closer to a career. However, she has been making/ letting me a bit more scissor work and such, talking a little more about faces and such (faces are my biggest issue). So while I'm working slowly, i'm not doing exactly what I want. Perhaps soon. I want it just fucking do it already. I feel so ready. My dogs would look like shit at first and that's expected. But I can't learn if I don't do it. Not in this business.
soon. soon. soon!
-I often hate being the responsible one. While I like doing things because I then know it gets done, it puts so much stress on me. In the past few weeks, I have done everything having to do with housing. Kellyn says "I want to move out" and I go into my crazy housing mode. You don't fuck with housing haha. I found this amazing, incredible house which reminds me alot of Ramsi's corvy house. I am so fucking excited to move in there. The best thing about it? Literally across the street from both my jobs. No more 45 minute commutes! Woot!
But that means we must deal with this house. To break our lease, we have to pay $250, plus two weeks rent, plus rent until it's leased out again. I put an ad out on craigslist and have received over a dozen responses. There is a couple looking at the house tomorrow night. Kellyn currently owes me $350+. I told him that if he paid the $250, i would take the rest as a loss just to get out of this situation. I also told him I would pay the two weeks rent. So all Kellyn has to pay is $250, plus $295 for November's rent. $545 total. That's it. I theoretically have to pay $1570 in november (rent here, plus the two weeks rent, plus first and last months rent at the new place plus part of the deposit at the new place). I know i can pay for stuff at Sunnyside Manor (the name of my new house) in december. But I do pay quite a bit more than Kellyn, since he hasn't helped with utilities for september or october.
But! But I have a feeling that Mr. Kellyn is going to bitch and moan about how he has no money (because he spends it all on pot and going out) and can't afford it. I CAN'T FUCKING PAY IT ALL. He is fucking me over AND I'M SO GODDAMN SICK OF BEING USED! He has 9 days to come up with the money. Our 30 days notice needs to be in by the first because I am moving out on the 2nd and don't want to pay rent here in december.
And when all is said and done, who knows what will become of Kellyn and me. I will most likely not see him. And perhaps that's better in the long run. He's a cool guy, but so completely irresponsible. Though, how many of my friends have it all together? not very many.
So this is what has happened to my october. I have a fun weekend planned and I hope it will be grand. I'm going to portland either saturday night if i can find a ride or sunday morning. "Spring Awakening" is Sunday afternoon and i do believe miles and possibly kirk are coming, which would make my weekend. Hanging out with andrew, seeing his new place, possibly going out with emily. I need it. Then tuesday is my birthday and I imagine it will suck ass because tuesdays are my worst day. Then halloween, party hopping. Moving. and moving on.
Well, at least writing about this stuff made me feel a little better.
-i'm still not sure how I fit into S.A.R.A's. I get along pretty well with a few of the girls there. The cats are adorable. But it's so fucking stressful. I still ask alot of questions because that is my nature. If i'm not sure, i would rather ask 20 times than do it and get yelled at. (I blame my mother for this trait of mine.) And i still fuck up. But I've only been a supervisor there for a little over a month, working only 3 days a week. Shouldn't they be a little forgiving of that?
So there's been all this drama going on at Sara's lately. This is mostly why i'm stressed. They recently restructured the management and one of the girls, Jackie, who has been there for over a year was not promoted. She was super pissed about this and has been whiny about it ever since. They've had issues with her lately not doing work and then bitching about stuff. Yesterday it all came to a head, when Mel, the boss, noticed that $50 was missing from the safe. After asking everyone (who all of course denied stealing it) and having a fight with Jackie who was super rude about the issue, Mel called everyone about a supervisors meeting for today at noon. It didn't really concern me (they know I didn't take it) so I didn't need to go. But last night, Jackie calls me and asks me if Mel and Nicole (the assistant manager) had gotten any more pleasant by the end of the day. And then when I told her about the meeting, she feigned ignorance and said she couldn't go. She was the one person they wanted there. Then today, another supervisor ran into Jackie at the library at the same time that the meeting was supposed to be happening. So of course, Mel and Nicole were furious. Tonight, i get a text from Jackie saying that she quit and that I should watch my back because Nicole wants to make me quit next.
In my insecure, stressed out, tired state, I sorta freak out at this news. Jackie has a history of lying, so she may just be spreading rumors. But what if it's true? They are not good at actually talking to people about issues. I'm half tempted to sit down with Mel and Nicole and ask them what they think so far about me and my performance. It would be so strange to have someone say they are unsatisfied with me as an employee. Usually, employers are super bummed to see me go.
And that paragraph? That long, complicated paragraph? I am not in middle school, why do i have to deal with middle school bullshit? Fucking drama. I cannot handle it. It's bad enough at foxy dog where we gossip and badmouth the other girls. Did I just happen to choose the two most gossipy/ drama-filled places to work? Or are all places this bad?!
I keep having dreams about Sara's. I stress about it on days when I don't even work there. Is it too much? How much longer can I deal with this?
-What's funny is how the girls at Foxy Dog looks like saints compared. But I am, of course, having issues there as well. I asked Jess about doing more haircut stuff, to which she replied in a condescending tone of voice, "We need to talk about that." My first thought was that she does not want to teach me and essentially this will become a dead end job, not getting me any closer to a career. However, she has been making/ letting me a bit more scissor work and such, talking a little more about faces and such (faces are my biggest issue). So while I'm working slowly, i'm not doing exactly what I want. Perhaps soon. I want it just fucking do it already. I feel so ready. My dogs would look like shit at first and that's expected. But I can't learn if I don't do it. Not in this business.
soon. soon. soon!
-I often hate being the responsible one. While I like doing things because I then know it gets done, it puts so much stress on me. In the past few weeks, I have done everything having to do with housing. Kellyn says "I want to move out" and I go into my crazy housing mode. You don't fuck with housing haha. I found this amazing, incredible house which reminds me alot of Ramsi's corvy house. I am so fucking excited to move in there. The best thing about it? Literally across the street from both my jobs. No more 45 minute commutes! Woot!
But that means we must deal with this house. To break our lease, we have to pay $250, plus two weeks rent, plus rent until it's leased out again. I put an ad out on craigslist and have received over a dozen responses. There is a couple looking at the house tomorrow night. Kellyn currently owes me $350+. I told him that if he paid the $250, i would take the rest as a loss just to get out of this situation. I also told him I would pay the two weeks rent. So all Kellyn has to pay is $250, plus $295 for November's rent. $545 total. That's it. I theoretically have to pay $1570 in november (rent here, plus the two weeks rent, plus first and last months rent at the new place plus part of the deposit at the new place). I know i can pay for stuff at Sunnyside Manor (the name of my new house) in december. But I do pay quite a bit more than Kellyn, since he hasn't helped with utilities for september or october.
But! But I have a feeling that Mr. Kellyn is going to bitch and moan about how he has no money (because he spends it all on pot and going out) and can't afford it. I CAN'T FUCKING PAY IT ALL. He is fucking me over AND I'M SO GODDAMN SICK OF BEING USED! He has 9 days to come up with the money. Our 30 days notice needs to be in by the first because I am moving out on the 2nd and don't want to pay rent here in december.
And when all is said and done, who knows what will become of Kellyn and me. I will most likely not see him. And perhaps that's better in the long run. He's a cool guy, but so completely irresponsible. Though, how many of my friends have it all together? not very many.
So this is what has happened to my october. I have a fun weekend planned and I hope it will be grand. I'm going to portland either saturday night if i can find a ride or sunday morning. "Spring Awakening" is Sunday afternoon and i do believe miles and possibly kirk are coming, which would make my weekend. Hanging out with andrew, seeing his new place, possibly going out with emily. I need it. Then tuesday is my birthday and I imagine it will suck ass because tuesdays are my worst day. Then halloween, party hopping. Moving. and moving on.
Well, at least writing about this stuff made me feel a little better.