the language barrier (for Kristen!)
Every Wednesday, as per usual this summer, I am always out to see The Big Ragu at Martell's Tiki Bar. Without fail, I am always there, listening to the music, hanging out with Matt (and his bandmates), catching up with the friends I've made that come to the show, and overall enjoying the memories made. And without fail, always having some of the most interesting conversations ever.
This past week was no exception, especially when it came down to the topic of relationships and whether or not it's acceptable to flirt with others while in a relationship. Now, I'm going to admit here that I'm a natural flirt, but if I'm truly with someone, then I'm WITH someone. It doesn't matter if I flirt at all, because at the end of the night, I know who I'm going home to. There is no in-between with that, especially if there's any form of commitment involved. Even if single, I've been known to push potentials away while I've been out, because I don't want or have to flirt. I may want to just enjoy the music and dance my little heart out.....just be myself, so to speak. It's not always a necessity to seek things when they can simply come to you.....if you're patient.
But, as I've watched the cover band scene, I've taken note that while band members may have significant others, there is almost a sense of them (for their job) needing to go out into the audience and connect with their listeners/fans, which translates into going out, flirting, and making others feel comfortable enough to hang out with the band and ultimately, come out to the next show. Now, that's not to say that one does not make friends with those people, because it has happened. It's inevitable that amidst ALL of those intrigued listeners, that at least one or two become friends with the band members or their posse.
Which brings me back to the conversation between one of the band members and my friend Kristen. I can understand Kristen's POV that if you're in a relationship, then that means you're with that person and any conversations with those of the opposite sex should be limited. Talking sexually or with any hint of obscenity or vulgarity could come off as cheating or intent to cheat. But the viewpoints were differing. One believed that it was acceptable to flirt with the opposite sex, because it's human nature to look and want something more. The flip side was that if you're with someone, then there are certain lines that are just not crossed, and that's final.
While watching the two of them, it was obvious to understand that no compromise would be made, and that it was visibly making my friend upset to hear someone talk like this with her. But it was another band member who chimed in and assured her that it may be human nature for some people to look, but in the end it's important to remember that if you're happy with yourself (and anyone you may be with at that time), then that's all that matters.
It got me to thinking about the way men view relationships vs. the way women view relationships. Most women, for lack of a better definition, tend to be more emotional and prone to overthinking situations, want to be the focus most of the time, and believe that if these needs are not met, then something is wrong. Most men, on the other hand, are the type that tend to go through life with a little more ease. There is less analyzing, more action, and more of a sense that their laid-back demeanor is not a problem.
I know some may take offense to what I'm saying, but it's the truth. As women, we definitely view life in a much different way, especially the way we experience things. I know with the things I've been through in my life, I look at all the situations I encounter MUCH differently. I still get emotional, but not nearly as much anymore. I know that life is less about the little things that stress me out and more about the moments that touch my heart. Because in the end, what do you remember more: the way someone made you want to pull out your hair or the kindness you receive when it feels like there's nothing that will make you smile again?
Somewhere, we tend to forget that the true meaning behind the language is lost. Some people just have different ways of expressing things......and that's ok. There are always going to be people who upset you and don't understand where you're coming from. But in the end, just knowing that eventually you will find someone that speaks your language (or at least understands it).......that's the most important lesson of all.
~Jenn~
This past week was no exception, especially when it came down to the topic of relationships and whether or not it's acceptable to flirt with others while in a relationship. Now, I'm going to admit here that I'm a natural flirt, but if I'm truly with someone, then I'm WITH someone. It doesn't matter if I flirt at all, because at the end of the night, I know who I'm going home to. There is no in-between with that, especially if there's any form of commitment involved. Even if single, I've been known to push potentials away while I've been out, because I don't want or have to flirt. I may want to just enjoy the music and dance my little heart out.....just be myself, so to speak. It's not always a necessity to seek things when they can simply come to you.....if you're patient.
But, as I've watched the cover band scene, I've taken note that while band members may have significant others, there is almost a sense of them (for their job) needing to go out into the audience and connect with their listeners/fans, which translates into going out, flirting, and making others feel comfortable enough to hang out with the band and ultimately, come out to the next show. Now, that's not to say that one does not make friends with those people, because it has happened. It's inevitable that amidst ALL of those intrigued listeners, that at least one or two become friends with the band members or their posse.
Which brings me back to the conversation between one of the band members and my friend Kristen. I can understand Kristen's POV that if you're in a relationship, then that means you're with that person and any conversations with those of the opposite sex should be limited. Talking sexually or with any hint of obscenity or vulgarity could come off as cheating or intent to cheat. But the viewpoints were differing. One believed that it was acceptable to flirt with the opposite sex, because it's human nature to look and want something more. The flip side was that if you're with someone, then there are certain lines that are just not crossed, and that's final.
While watching the two of them, it was obvious to understand that no compromise would be made, and that it was visibly making my friend upset to hear someone talk like this with her. But it was another band member who chimed in and assured her that it may be human nature for some people to look, but in the end it's important to remember that if you're happy with yourself (and anyone you may be with at that time), then that's all that matters.
It got me to thinking about the way men view relationships vs. the way women view relationships. Most women, for lack of a better definition, tend to be more emotional and prone to overthinking situations, want to be the focus most of the time, and believe that if these needs are not met, then something is wrong. Most men, on the other hand, are the type that tend to go through life with a little more ease. There is less analyzing, more action, and more of a sense that their laid-back demeanor is not a problem.
I know some may take offense to what I'm saying, but it's the truth. As women, we definitely view life in a much different way, especially the way we experience things. I know with the things I've been through in my life, I look at all the situations I encounter MUCH differently. I still get emotional, but not nearly as much anymore. I know that life is less about the little things that stress me out and more about the moments that touch my heart. Because in the end, what do you remember more: the way someone made you want to pull out your hair or the kindness you receive when it feels like there's nothing that will make you smile again?
Somewhere, we tend to forget that the true meaning behind the language is lost. Some people just have different ways of expressing things......and that's ok. There are always going to be people who upset you and don't understand where you're coming from. But in the end, just knowing that eventually you will find someone that speaks your language (or at least understands it).......that's the most important lesson of all.
~Jenn~