Rain clouds are comin
So today I was suppossed to go to work right? I just got back from a weekend in Vegas and then three days working in San Diego and Im sure I have a lot of work piling up. When I say work, I mean filing a bunch of shit that I dont understand. HAHA Im so important. Anyway, I didn't go and the sad thing is I could give a crap. Im serious, I got a call from my boss and she sounded bugged and I dont even care. Why? I should, I should want to be responsible and whatever but I just get in these moods where I could careless what I do and the consequences of my actions. THen I proceeded to sleep all day, wake up take my mom to the dentist, come home, eat, do nothing, started a new book, watched a lil tv, and now Im here. The most unproductful(if thats a word) day of my life and yet I have no guilt whatsoever. But I do have to work tomorrow, but then Ill have a three day weekend! YEAH! I really cant stop thinking about moving to Hawaii and becoming a beach bum. WHy? Seriously does anyone else do this? Cause I do it on a regular basis. Im constantly striving to work to not want to pack up and leave. Its either wanting to chase my acting dreams in LA or move to the beach to find random odd jobs and barley survive. Speaking of acting, Im suppossed to be shooting this indi film "Italian Food" Soon and Im not prepared, but I am excited its a hilarious script and I have a really great supporting role.
Im so full right now, I made scones with my mom and then proceeded to eat them all till there was nothing left. HA! I havent had a good pig out session in a good week. In fact I was dropping weight from not having time to eat, I think this pig out sess made up for all that! HA! actually I laugh, but its more sad than it is funny. Im a fat ass and summer is almost here. Swim suit season is rapidly approaching. I cant beleve I was so comfortable around vic in a swim suit this weekend. Hum? I wonder why that is? I screwed things up this past weekend. I drank and then came home to vic asleep and crawled into bed, expecting him to not smell the red bull and vodka on my breath. IM a retard sometimes. I actually wonder if subconsiously I wanted him to smell it on my breath, or smell the smoke on my clothes. Not to make him jealous, I dont want to hurt him, but to feel like Im not having to hide anything. When isn't that all I ever do these days? Is hide?
Im so full right now, I made scones with my mom and then proceeded to eat them all till there was nothing left. HA! I havent had a good pig out session in a good week. In fact I was dropping weight from not having time to eat, I think this pig out sess made up for all that! HA! actually I laugh, but its more sad than it is funny. Im a fat ass and summer is almost here. Swim suit season is rapidly approaching. I cant beleve I was so comfortable around vic in a swim suit this weekend. Hum? I wonder why that is? I screwed things up this past weekend. I drank and then came home to vic asleep and crawled into bed, expecting him to not smell the red bull and vodka on my breath. IM a retard sometimes. I actually wonder if subconsiously I wanted him to smell it on my breath, or smell the smoke on my clothes. Not to make him jealous, I dont want to hurt him, but to feel like Im not having to hide anything. When isn't that all I ever do these days? Is hide?