Things are slowly going to get better
So my last post was short, miserable, and whatever. I've been working on myself the last couple of weeks. I dont really want to disclose what went on between JD and I, and I probably never will fully talk about it with anyone except my counselors, but he and I are not speaking and God knows if we ever will again. It's difficult but probably best for me and I am dealing with things. He has things going on with him that I'm sure I'm not aware of and he pushed me hard and fast out of his life. It's incredibly painful and confusing but I cannot fix things for him, fix his addiction, fix his damage and I need to fix myself and the damage that it has caused me.
I've turned first and foremost to God for the first time in my life, and to my family and friends for their love and support. I had it brought to my attention, much to my argument and angst, that I need to finally start doing for me and that I have things I need to work on. I was angry at first, but I've come to realize it wasn't a slam on me, but an act of concern and love. Thank God for Aaron for finally calling me out and going to my mom. I don't know that I would have decided to take the actions I'm taking to move towards a more positive place in my life without his love and encouragement.
My brother has turned things around so much in his life in the past few years, and thinking about what he has done and what the results have been gives me inspiration and the faith that I can do the same for myself. It's going to be a long road...I'm insecure and afraid, I do cry alot and I do have difficulties right now, but I know that I'm on the first part of the road to take care of that.
I don't feel good, but I'm starting to feel a little better. We'll see how things go.
I've turned first and foremost to God for the first time in my life, and to my family and friends for their love and support. I had it brought to my attention, much to my argument and angst, that I need to finally start doing for me and that I have things I need to work on. I was angry at first, but I've come to realize it wasn't a slam on me, but an act of concern and love. Thank God for Aaron for finally calling me out and going to my mom. I don't know that I would have decided to take the actions I'm taking to move towards a more positive place in my life without his love and encouragement.
My brother has turned things around so much in his life in the past few years, and thinking about what he has done and what the results have been gives me inspiration and the faith that I can do the same for myself. It's going to be a long road...I'm insecure and afraid, I do cry alot and I do have difficulties right now, but I know that I'm on the first part of the road to take care of that.
I don't feel good, but I'm starting to feel a little better. We'll see how things go.